the Chumpcast | Nerd News & Movie Reviews

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Gunpowder Milkshake LIVE AND IN PERSON! - Episode 254 Jul 19, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 254 of The Chumpcast! Every so often, we get the opportunity to all be in one place and I very stupidly agree to set everything up outside. That was this week. Ignore the birds and airplane noises, cuz yer boys are back. Also, Gunpowder Milkshake, because fuck LeBron.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:00 - Mark and Brick are tryna get stabbed, and Smithers’s wife is gonna stab him. Everybody gettin stabbed here

4:50 - How long could you last with the hiccups before you decided that you would just go play in traffic or hurl yourself off a mountain?

9:20 - TRAILERS! Turning Red is Pixar’s new adorableness, The Colony appears to be a mix of Children of Men and Mad Max, Deadpool + Korg = smiley face, Habit looks awful to everyone but Brick, and John Boyega has the best name and stars in Naked Singularity

25:10 - Valve is launching the Steam Deck, a handheld switch competitor that will house your Steam library on the go. Worth the big bucks?

30:30 - Netflix is officially entering the streaming video game service. What could possibly go wrong except for everything that has gone wrong for any company that tried this before?

35:20 - The entire point of having kids is to get them into video games and other shit that you enjoy

37:00 - RECOMMENDATIONS! A catch-up on Rick and Morty, Smithers is finally watching Dave and still won’t shut up about Formula 1 (Silverstone GP this weekend!) and Brick is still playing the same video games because the rest of us have not download them yet but did watch Bohemian Rhapsody

42:45 - BEST MAN ALIVE! Frank Darabont absolutely FLEECED AMC for his Walking Dead money, Brooks Koepka is making golf fun by being a dick, and one man who dared to troll all of Frito Lay

53:40 - REVIEW! Was Gunpowder Milkshake worth the wait?

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Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

What If...Black Widow Was Pretty Good?! - Episode 253 Jul 12, 2021

Show notes

Whaaaats up everyone and welcome to episode 253 of The Chumpcast! Smithers was gone this week, but nothing stops the eternal nonsense that is The Chumps. BLACK WIDOW MUST BE DISCUSSED!

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

The Tomorrow War and Donut Analysis - Episode 252 Jul 05, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 252 of The Chumpcast! I hope you’re ready for constant food talk, because I didn’t eat breakfast before we started recording. Anywho, let’s break down the ridiculous plot holes in Chris Pratt’s latest Amazon Prime flick, The Tomorrow War.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

0:50 - Hot takes on donuts, crullers, and bear claws

4:40 - TMZ is now doing the most hard hitting UFO reporting for some reason

10:05 - Brick hates Starbucks coffee and Mark loves Sploogewaffels

12:05 - TRAILERS! Don’t Breathe 2 is just blind Taken, A Dark Foe stars the next Tommy Wiseau, Beckett doesn’t make sense but has John David Washington, and Clifford the Big Red Dog would be better as a horror/thriller

22:35 - We’re getting a 2nd season of Good Omens and Neil Gaiman stays roasting people on Twitter

24:20 - Quiet Place 2 and Fast 9 are slowly but surely bringing back the domestic box office, but are we over theaters now?

29:40 - Another Simpsons crossover, but this time featuring Tom Hiddleston as Loki

31:15 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Brick with No Sudden Move since no one else seems to be talking about it, Smithers won’t shut up about cars and likes Top Gear, and Mark is gearing up for Monsters at work

35:10 - BEST MAN ALIVE! One man successfully trolls the entire internet with the power of an opinion article about grilling, Mark wants to speak to the manager of Wal-Mart, a man kinda just...follows a cat up into a tree, and Richard Branson is cucking Jeff Bezos

46:20 - SPOILER FREE REVIEW! Chris Pratt, Betty Gilpin, Yvonne Strahovsky and Sam Richardson star in The Tomorrow War from director Chris McKay, now streaming on Amazon Prime

52:50 - SPOILERS FOR TOMORROW WAR (you’ve been warned)

1:12:15 - LAPD almost blows up an entire neighborhood and a look at reviews in upcoming shows

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Fast 9 aka FNine - Episode 251 Jun 28, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 251 of The Chumpcast! I got enough texts and dms with the word “nipples” from last week, so I guess you’re all still paying attention here and I need to keep talking. Anyways, Fast and Furious 9.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

0:55 - John Cena has never taken performance enhancing drugs and Smithers has never had a Busch Light

5:35 - TRAILERS! Sexy Beast on Netflix, the long awaited Sing 2, updates on Suicide Squad and Shang Chi, Schmigadoon?, bonkers Candyman, The Harder They Fall, Halloween Kills, and White Lotus. Phew.

22:30 - NEWS! Dune gets moved back 3 weeks, a Meet Cute between Kaley Cuoco and Pete Davidson, Scarlett Johansson in Tower of Terror, and another Cronenberg flick coming our way

30:40 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Brick has more games that he will bail on you for, including Chivalry 2 and Mario Golf, Smithers found a new brewery, a new Polo G album, and Mark is a softball try-hard

37:00 - BEST MAN ALIVE! Former Chumpcast guest Danny Parkins raised a ton of money for a great cause, Conan O’Brien’s final week in Late Night, and an exorcism in Pennsylvania

45:30 - REVIEW! The moment we’ve all been waiting for, Fast 9. Or Fnine. Or FamNine

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Luca, E3, and TikTok for Old People - Episode 250 Jun 21, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 250 of The Chumpcast! Happy Father’s day to all you daddies out there. Hope your real kids love you more than my podcast kids love me, as I sit here editing a podcast on Father’s Day. Anywho, this week was Luca on Disney+.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

0:55 - Brick the dog whisperer thinks he can alpha four pooches at once

2:30 - The boys explain TikTok to Old Man Smithers

6:40 - Can anyone get Brick to shut the hell up about Knockout City?

13:55 - Our resident G4mesDork catches us up on all the fun gaming news from E3 including Starfield, Advanced Wars, Guardians of the Galaxy, Avatar, and more

20:25 - Nic Cage goes all John Wick when his truffle sniffing pig goes missing

22:15 - Who would have guessed that we would need to stop and discuss a present day, Parkour themed Oliver Twist remake?

23:05 - Is Will Ferrell okay? Why does he keep doing these weird Indie style movies?

24:40 - If there was a meteor that was coming to kill us all, would you be reconciling your past transgressions OR partying your balls off? How It Ends aims to find out

26:50 - Our resident live-action Disney remake weighs in on a Beauty and the Beast prequel series

30:30 - In throwaway news, Gerry Butler’s Greenland is getting a sequel and Big Mouth is getting a spin off

32:50 - What movie or show did you watch in public that DEFINITELY should not be watched in public?

34:50 - BEST MAN ALIVE! Mark is on the hunt for some rare Japanese mangoes and that is somehow not a euphemism. Smithers got an unwanted haircut from a fireball. The Chumpcast is looking for interns so that we can blame mistakes on you like HBO Max does. An elephant who thinks he’s people.

44:20 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Rick and Morty is BACK, Mark loves Mare of Easttown, DAVE has returned to FX, and Mark thinks race car drivers die at alarmingly high rates

53:30 - REVIEW! Luca gives us a chance to talk about IIIITTTAAALLLYY and PIIIIXXAAAAR

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Could Be Infinitely Better - Episode 249 Jun 14, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 249 of The Chumpcast! This week gave us a chance to discuss Mark Wahlberg’s latest “I am the greatest man alive and I know how to do everything” character in Infinite.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:00 - The heat of Satan’s grundle, hiking (aka offroading on hiking trails), and stealing cake from a baby

4:30 - Owen Wilson’s nose indent is more distracting than cleavage

5:30 - Gerrit Cole is the only person that doesn’t understand the importance of lying in baseball

11:20 - TRAILERS! Brick talks Battlefield 2042, coming this fall

16:30 - TRAILERS! Invasion is coming to Apple TV+ and it looks like every other invasion property

19:45 - Please stop showing me TRAILERS! for Free Guy and release the damn movie

21:55 - TRAILERS! Fear Street is Netflix’s next foray into horror, and they’re taking an interesting approach

25:05 - TRAILERS! The brain of Kevin Smith has birthed a continuation of Masters of the Universe

30:40 - What is a sequel to Cruella going to look like? Is she just going to start murdering puppies?

33:00 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Brick thinks he’s a hot shot because he got an early screening of The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, Sweet Tooth is incredibly weird, and Smithers is goin’ racin

40:40 - Mark is mister Type A, a man who actually broke the internet, unlike those cowardly Kardashians, a real-life Jonah and the whale, and our leaders are completely asinine.

51:15 - REVIEW! Marky Mark is here to show you how great he is at everything in Infinite

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do Some Stuff I Didn't Like - Episode 248 Jun 07, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 248 of The Chumpcast! Mark and I are hosting this week because Brick is both in the same town as us and unwilling to come hang out with his fellow Chumps. Not that we’re bitter...

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

0:55 - Mark being upset about some Jupiter’s Legacy news is not how we thought this episode would begin

4:50 - A vindictive spider is stalking Mark via his shaggy rug

6:00 - The chat has some hot takes on A Quiet Place part 1, which sends us down memory lane for our movie hot takes

12:00 - Brick is dead to us, and always buy Lime Jarritos from the hot dog stand in a Home Depot

14:45 - TRAILERS! Hugh Jackman is back in futuristic Waterworld, also known as Reminiscence

21:40 - TRAILERS! Weird Neil Blomkamp is back with a weird demon movie called Demonic

23:45 - TRAILERS! America: The Motion Picture is the ridiculous satire that we need right now

26:05 - TRAILERS! Marky Mark is really trying to get us to watch this Infinite movie by pretending that he’s in the Fast and Furious franchise

28:45 - Issa Rae has been announced as Jessica Drew, aka Spider-Woman

34:35 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Netflix drops Sweet Tooth, it’s always Jersday, Mark hates himself enough to watch the Friends reunion, and Formula 1 returns in Baku

40:05 - WORST MAN ALIVE! A big time false alarm for a high school, an Amazon driver who is having the WORST day, and we try a scripted our AMC talk to no avail

52:50 - REVIEW! The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do Some Stuff That I’m Not Proud Of

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

A Quiet Place Part 2 and Mark's Gullet - Episode 247 Jun 01, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 247 of The Chumpcast! Theaters are ALL THE WAY BACK and we made it in to see A Quiet Place 2, starring Emily Blunt and Cillian Murphy.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

0:50 - Mark would get us all killed immediately in the Quiet Place universe

5:15 - Smither me timbers, a porch pirate ye might be

7:15 - Uncle Kyle butt-dialed us, but also wants to know what bad movies have the best soundtracks

12:50 - TRAILERS! Marvel’s Eternals sure does look boring, even with a bangin’ cast

17:35 - TRAILERS! Gunpowder Milkshake is your next John Wick clone, starring Karen Gillan and Lena Headey and it really has the Jimmies rustled

20:05- TRAILERS! Last Night in Soho marks the triumphant return of Edgar Wright’s weird movies

22:50 - TRAILERS! The Tomorrow War has Chris Pratt, Betty Gilpin, Sam Richardson, and a litany of time travel paradox issues

27:55 - TRAILERS! Jungle Cruise pretty much has to be good because of the cast and Disney’s involvement

29:30 - TRAILERS! Marky Mark needs to go back to doing comedies with Will Ferrell instead of Paramount+ movies like Infinite

32:00 - TRAILERS! M Night Shyamalan needs to go away already

35:20 - Weekly recommendations include “giving up”, which is Brick’s main recommendation. We also discuss Master of None, and Smithers plants his flag as a known Formula 1 racing dork

45:30 - JJ Abrams is still threatening to make a Portal movie

46:10 - Aaron Taylor Johnson isn’t going to stop until he’s played every comic book character there is

47:50 - Who ever could have guessed that a live-action Powerpuff Girls on CW that would be too campy to be aired?

49:00 - Amazon continues to be inevitable, purchases MGM for $8.4 b-b-b-b-billion

51:30 - Mark brings the general mood down, as Mark does

53:15 - BEST MAN ALIVE! Glorious overlords at Amazon will now allow workers a smaller, single person cage to escape their larger, more densely populated cages. An Indian couple packs an airplane to get married at 40,000 feet. Mark gets nostalgic about Johnny Knoxville.

1:00:46 - REVIEW TIME! Was A Quiet Place pt 2 worth the wait, or was everyone in the movie too stupid to make this enjoyable?

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Army of the Dead and Weird Zack Snyder - Episode 246 May 24, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 246 of The Chumpcast! Brick and I had some fun discussing weird Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead this week. I also let Brick program the show for a bit, and now police all over Europe have launched a manhunt to track him down.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:00 - See you next Tuesday, Mark. Enjoy your vacation.

6:35 - Were you a Blue Barracuda? Orange Iguana, maybe? No, you were definitely a purple parrot.

9:40 - TRAILERS! Snake Eyes doesn’t work for Cobra Commander so they’re always fighting and that seems like unnecessary snake on snake hate.

12:55 -TRAILERS! If the Monsters at Work show is as unfunny as the trailer, those poor monsters aren’t going to be able to power Monstropolis.

15:00 - TRAILERS! How the hell can HBO afford the cast for No Sudden Move?

19:10 - The world is burning, we might as well let Brick program the show and just do our recommendations now. Planet Coaster, Love Death and Robots, The Bad Batch, and M.O.D.O.K.

30:05 - Pretty soon all of Hollywood will just be a subsidiary of Haliburton or Nestle, and that’s not great.

35:00 - DC is just going to pay The Rock to play every character that they own.

39:40 - A presumed virgin user inquired into US Copyright registries to pull the entire synopsis of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 from the internet.

43:40 - BEST MAN ALIVE! Sex toy theivery in Florida (obviously), a man catches a snake to the dome, dog bites cow while deputy tases dog while cow kicks deputy, a Harambe tribute in Virginia, don’t kiss your chickens, the gracious folks down in Alabama will now allow Yoga in schools as long as you NEVER say “Namaste”, and a man who had the wrong leg amputated.

50:30 - REVIEW! Someone needs to get Zack Snyder in check because Army of the Dead is just a lot to take in.

1:06:00 - Spoilers for Army of the Dead start now! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

1:17:50 - What’s next for Zack Snyder and RIP to Paul Mooney

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Jupiter's Legacy and Inebriation Accusations - Episode 245 May 17, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 245 of The Chumpcast! Now...you’re gonna hear some people try to tell you that I was drunk during this episode, and that’s just a fallacy. It’s a smear campaign driven purely by spite and envy. Lots of bad information out there. Also, I guess we watched Jupiter’s Legacy on Netflix.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:05 - Doth thou even crush beers, bro? (Mark is the worst)

8:10 - Is one of our listeners casting Voodoo magic on people? (Yes.)

9:35 - Mark is bad at softball, but he thinks his team can mesh well if you give them a decade

12:50 - Smithers is potentially a moron; leaves keys in car during a rash of car thefts

17:30 - TRAILERS! WISH DRAGON will be the next Sony animated film that hits Netflix after the masterpiece that was The Mitchells vs The Machines

21:3 - TRAILERS! THE FOREVER PURGE reminds us that they’ve been making Purge movies forever

25:55 - TRAILERS! VENOM 2: LET THERE BE CARNAGE has turned the symbiote into your wacky roommate

33:50 - TRAILERS! The best trailer of the week shows us Dev Patel in THE GREEN KNIGHT and we still don’t know what its about

38:15 - NEWS! Netflix is blessing us with more Millie Bobby Brown and Henry Cavill in ENOLA HOLMES 2

42:00 - NEWS! FXX is bringing us more Danny DeVito in animated form from LITTLE DEMONS

44:25 - NEWS! All of your favorite Adult Swim classics are returning via feature length film

48:10 - BEST MAN ALIVE! Radioactive booze lands some people in prison, the BFer 3000 ends up facing a judge in court, Mark gets trolled and, and Karen needs to put gas into whatever she can find

58:20 - REVIEW! Can Josh Duhamel save JUPITER’S LEGACY from the horrible special effects? Maybe!

1:18:25 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Brick is all in on LOVE, DEATH, AND ROBOTS, (Smithers agrees) and Mark calls J. COLE one of the GOATs

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

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