The Chompcast

Latest Episodes:

Fast Swimmers - Ep. 91 May 15, 2018

Show notes

Hoooooooooooly cow, did we have a long podcast this week. Our main topic of the week was open world games. We asked ourselves, “What aspect about open world games suck us in?” and, “What is the evolution for open world gaming?” Josh finally managed to play Far Cry 5, so he and Morgan engage in a lengthy debate. Our poll topics this week were varied and full of conversation, as we discussed the future of Tomb Raider, NBA basketball, fishing, and Childish Gambino’s new video This is America. Our bio break entailed size and fecundity in fish, and its non-linear relationship.

Too Many Cooks - Ep. 90 May 08, 2018

Show notes

A stone obelisk slams into the earth, causing loose dirt and small rocks to shoot into the air, the force powering the particles into the sky. The obelisk is hoisted back into the air, attached to a metallic, thick chain. A massive hand pulls the chain down, propelling the obelisk back into the ground. The hand continued to slam the obelisk into the ground and pulling it to the sky at a steady 4/4 beat at 40 bpm. Another hand started to rustle the chain vigorously, almost as if playing a tambourine. A pair of hands was slapping its obelisk, almost as if playing the congas. One hand was holding a vine that was attached to the owner’s tooth, while the other hand strummed a note to the same 4/4 beat. Out of nowhere, a troll leapt out of the trees into the clearing, power sliding on its knees across the dirt. It let out a horrendous wail, closing its eyes and singing to the heavens with its right hand offering the cacophony to the Gods. Then, what is politely described as singing, the wailing troll began to croon, a tune that was only known to troll kind.

Kratos and Atreus sat in the bushes observing the trolls attempting to play music. Kratos’ face wore a look of pure disgust. “What the hell are they doing?” he queried to Atreus, unsure of what his eyes were seeing. Atreus had his pants down by his ankles when Kratos looked over. Kratos began to vomit as he witnessed his son watching the trolls out of the corner of his eyes while pulling on his little pecker. Atreus was pulling feverishly as the beat rang out over and over. Kratos was so sickened that the vomit began to project into the clearing, splashing the trolls. The trolls, thinking it rain as they aren’t the most intellectual creatures to exist, opened their mouths and rocked even harder. The singer rubbed the vomitus into his chest pores, gyrating and crooning even more passionately.

The singer let out one final wail. Atreus joined in, finishing himself to completion. Kratos composed himself, wiping his mouth of the bile. He grabbed his axe and lopped his son’s head clean off. He threw the body to the trolls, which immediately began to fight over who was to eat the fresh meat. Kratos punted Atreus’ head as hard as he could, sending it careening over a cliff and into the seas.

This week on the Chompcast, we are still reveling in the glory that is God of War. It also inspired our topic again this week: uses of family in video games. We announced our Patreon going up, the results of the polls, and a Bio Break regarding grey hair and the immune system. Come listen!

Idrisil - Ep. 89 May 01, 2018

Show notes

BOY, you better come on and listen to this show, as Kratos and Atreus grace the gaming world with their presence. Wow, this game is incredible, so we had to get our boy Rich Meister in on the discussion. He brought along our topic of the week: our first gaming moment. The stories are varied and invigorating. After the God of War and main topic, we discuss our social media polls and a bio break regarding a rediscovered mammal thought 30 years extinct.

Lutefiskedopolis - Ep. 88 Apr 24, 2018

Show notes

Hark ye! Hast thou ever heard the tale of pillage?

Of pillage and plunder? Do well and listen, ye dog

Let me regale a tale so fierce and fabled

Forever etched upon the mind of you, listener

Four sea dogs set sail to capture untold treasures

Like the hawk who clutches its prey in sharp talons

They sought to grasp the riches, riches, riches

They knew not what troubles awaited on perilous waters

O’er yonder, there laid on the bright and vast horizon

O’er yonder, a ship whose crew were caught unawares

O’er yonder, the four set sail, full speed ahead

O’er yonder, gold and gems, their eyes were set to bear

Was it with remorse or lust that they looked to acquire

The wealth of a man’s kingdom within the hull

Wooden, wainscoted, waterborne, a man’s treasury

Emptying his coffers, livelihood forever purloined

Ne’er a thought the pirates across the waters would starve

Scraping for food off the streets, dirtied and worn

Sea dogs becoming stray dogs, begging for table scraps

No, there wasn’t a single thread of remorse

Only a gleam or glimmer had shone in the four’s eyes

Awaiting destiny for too long stirred a lust so unquenched

They blasted the hull of the ship, laying waste and carnage

Blood and water mixed, like it had so many times before

The four had sunk the enemy, had secured the treasure

Their lust and greed had been fulfilled upon this day

Guns shot in the air in triumph, the sound of victory

Suddenly, the sky grew dark, the clouds ominous

The sea stirred; water swirled and raged; the wind

Gusted and blew, tearing the mast straight off the vessel

A whirlpool began to form next to the four

Well, ho! Look there! Something emerged from the deep

White hair, long and straight, sat atop a giant with a beard

A crown of gold garnished the giant’s regal head

A trident, massive and sharp, was held next to the king

Here now was the god of the seas, the fearsome Poseidon

He stared long and hard at the four, pondering

What his response would entail, pondering

He raised his trident, how mighty it looked in the skies

And brought it down, crashing down, killing the four

This week on the Chompcast, we could just not tear ourselves away from Sea of Thieves, as we had yet another adventure. We also managed to talk about mythology in video games, both in setting and influence. We cover an interesting Bio Break regarding the discovery of 30+ new species in a previously-undiscovered area of the ocean. Last, we cover the activity of the social media landscape and a listener email. Hark, ye!

Scum and Villainy - Ep. 87 Apr 16, 2018

Show notes

Pitch black. Cold. Metallic. The taste of iron is faint. The smell of blood in the air. Breath inhaling and exhaling. A person sits in a room bound. It can see nothing anywhere, as the room is surrounded in complete darkness. If someone were to sneak up behind and slit the prisoner’s throat, they would never see it coming. The taste of blood is fresh, floating in the room, permeating its nostrils. Suddenly, the prisoner hears a maniacal laugh from a room near him, piercing through the tight walls. Another deeper, malevolent laugh comes from another location within the ward. The prisoner wears a wry grin on its face, as it lets out a bloodcurdling laugh of its own, contributing to the cacophony of evil.
Yes, as you may have surmised, this week we discuss villains in video games. What makes a villain good? What are some of our favorites? We spoke of our sea-faring adventures in Sea of Thieves, discussed some listener polls, and held a secret section that Shea and Josh refused to tell the other two hosts.

More Equal Than Others - Ep. 86 Apr 09, 2018

Show notes

Ten pirates boarded the ship as the cannons blasted, blowing iron into the water and into the hull of the enemy boat. Swords clanked together, steel meeting steel in combat. Corpses began to pile up on the wooden floor, blood leaking through the cracks and pouring to the hull below. The sounds of cannon firing and gun shots blared on the open seas, as the dying calls of the clashing pirates managed to cut through the cacophony.
The enemy pirates began to overtake the ship, forcing the shipmates of the boarded vessel to wave the white flag of surrender. The enemies tied up the remaining pirates who managed to stay alive. The captain of the rogue vessel steps onto the boarded ship. Without a word, he gives the execute signal. One of the enemy pirates wielding a gun pulls out a gun and blows away two of the surrenderers with no remorse. One of the pirates begins to blubber and weep openly, not wanting to die. The captain laughs at the sight.
Suddenly, a helicopter appears on the horizon. The pirates from both parties look with confusion and dismay as the winged vehicle approaches at a breakneck speed. As it gets closer, the pirates hear someone yelling, “Yee haaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww!” The helicopter stops above the ship, as the wind from the propeller rains down on the pirates, making them scramble for cover. Suddenly, a horse leapt onto the deck of the ship with a man on top double-wielding rifles and wearing a cowboy hat. On his brown jacket, there was a pendant in the shape of Montana.
This week’s podcast was discombobulated in the best way possible, as we talked about Sea of Thieves, Far Cry 5, listener polls, and the question of the week: should video games have to say “something”?

Stool Snapple - Ep. 85 Apr 02, 2018

Show notes

This week, we talked about something... but Josh cannot remember. He stares longingly into Fish’s eyes. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Besides the galaxies that exist in Fish’s irises and pupils, we discussed games as a service, something that is popping up and is fairly new to us gamers. We looked for an exit as we played A Way Out. We began to plunder the seas as Morgan spoke of his initial happenings with Sea of Thieves. Lastly, Shea was over the moon as Morgan and he discussed playing Shining Force 2. Next week, we will discuss how to properly lick and seal an envelope.

A Way Out - Ep. 84 Mar 27, 2018

Show notes

The white, sterile hospital room is empty, save for someone. It lays there on the table, seemingly lifeless. Upon further inspection, the rise and fall of the chest can be seen as it continues to breathe through shallow, controlled breaths. A gown covers it as it lays on its side unconscious and waiting to be operated on. Its mind begins to dream of a time already passed.
It was running through a forest, darting and weaving through the underbrush. A blur was ahead of it, barely keeping pace as it attempted to flee. It could smell its flesh, a succulent scent gracing its nostrils. It could barely contain its excitement and hunger as it continued the chase. It let out a screeching roar, alerting the blur and anyone else in the forest that it would soon be dining on the meat of a smaller creature. Leaping forward with its large claws attached to its hind legs, it pinned the blur down. The smaller dinosaur attempted to break free as the velociraptor watched for a few seconds, reveling in its success. It brought down its razor-sharp teeth, rending the tough exterior of the smaller dinosaur, and biting into the sweet taste of flesh and blood.
Now, the velociraptor was in a hospital full of medical tools and doctors dying of cancer. Long past were the days where it would hunt for food, as it was slowly wasting away. The doctors had planned a last ditch effort to save the velociraptor by performing a unique kind of surgery to remove the tumors plaguing its body. The doctors stormed in, roaring and showing their gleaming teeth that were the size of daggers. They adorned gowns and eye coverings, in case of blood splatter.
They began to wash their claws in sinks that were so high up on the wall that they almost touched the ceiling. They heard a stir, turning around to see the velociraptor wake up from its unconscious state. It seemed as if the anaesthesia was wearing off. One of the doctors began to prepare a second dose. Another doctor moved to the velociraptor, checking on the cancerous dinosaur.
“Please…” the velociraptor whispered, barely managing to say the words, “give me… a hand.”
The velociraptor looked up at the doctor, meeting its gaze. What stared back at it was a large t-rex waving its stubby arms and shrugging.
This week on the Chompcast, we were deep into the world of co-op as it was our main topic of discussion. The topic was prompted by our main game of this week, A Way Out. Morgan and Josh continued their onslaught of the Donkey Kong series, moving on to Donkey Kong Country 2. Somehow, for only God knows why, we managed to squeeze out even more Monster Hunter World talk. That’s your show, so jump on it!

Fishen Lagann - Ep. 83 Mar 19, 2018

Show notes

Mechs mechs mechs. That is the obsession on this week’s Chompcast, as we are still helplessly addicted to the glory that is Into the Breach, Subset Game’s tactical rogue-like game. With Josh rejoining us this week, we have a full-fledged discussion. Morgan tells us tales about his rekindled love of Donkey Kong, as well as his engagement story to his fiancé (congrats, ya bastard). We have some silly polls from the Instagram, and one serious one as we attempt to sound educated regarding artificial intelligence. Of course, we can’t forget the topic of this week, as we discussed games that sounded “bad” to us on paper, only to end up being a well-liked to coveted experience for us. The topic was bolstered by comments from you, the listeners. As always, thank you for your continued support and love for the show.

My Art Will Go On - Ep. 82 Mar 12, 2018

Show notes

A man sits in the muck as rain pours down in gallons. He weeps and shouts to the sky, letting out his anguish to the world. Broken and hurt, the man cannot contain himself as he is on his knees in front of his dead parents. He knows that it is dangerous to stay out in the open as looters are wandering about, but he does not care. The outside world is no longer important to him. In this moment, death and loss are the only concepts engulfing his mind.

His sword sits at his waist, sheathed in leather and waiting to be of use. It continues to listen to the man sob uncontrollably for his loved ones laying in front of his body. It hears footsteps approach, followed by a few chuckles. It feels its master rustle, standing up to face the strangers. A hand is placed on the sword, being drawn as the visitors and the man exchange words. Water begins to fall upon its steel, and it sees a cloudy sky. Carnage surrounds it, as buildings are caved in, burned, and smoking. People lay dead in the streets. It sees the parents of the man, eyes closed, yet frozen in expressions of anguish and misery.

The man steels himself, ready to fight the gargantuan looter with a hammer. The looter charges at the man, pulling his arm back, ready to strike the shorter man. A laser cuts through the right side of his chest, shooting out the other side. The blow singes the flesh of the looter, as he drops his hammer and free falls to the ground. No sound emanates from the gargantuan attacker as he lays face down in the mud. The other four looters frantically look around in shock, attempting to find the source. A mech appears from nowhere, punching one of the looters into the other. The power of the blow explodes the two colliding looters, covering the area with viscera and blood. The remaining two attempt to run away when a missile explodes in between them, thrusting them into buildings, breaking their bones. They crumble into a heap, where they lay shattered and dying.

Three mechs appear close to the man with the sword. One mech opens and appears a woman wearing futuristic clothing. “You are safe now,” she assures the man.

This week on the Chompcast, we have our good buddy, Rich Meister, on to join the festivities of discussing Kingdom Come Deliverance, Into the Breach, and Monster Hunter World. We tackled our most controversial topic to date after being prompted by multiple media outlets: can we separate the art from the artist? Morgan discussed a few of his questionable polls off of social media, and we included listener responses.

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