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    Games & Hobbies

    The Chompcast

    Friends from swordchomp.com talk about games.

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    Latest Episodes:
    Chompcast Game of the Year 2017 - Day 1 Part 2 Dec 30, 2017
    Show notes

    Ladies and gentlemen, the time is here. Please don your beautiful, elegant dresses and your snazziest tuxedos. Wear your fanciest ties and put on your best make-up. Rent a limousine, bring your exclusive tickets, and walk down the red carpet to the Daggertooth Awards, Swordchomp’s Game of the Year event! We run through many categories of the first day of two, such as favorite character haircut, favorite character of 2017 you’d like to have a drink with, game of 2017 that best describes your sex life, favorite ecology, favorite character, favorite art direction, favorite boss, best sound design, favorite narrative, favorite gameplay mechanic, favorite soundtrack, favorite game this year that wasn’t released in 2017, and favorite gaming moment of 2017. Afterwards, we decide which games or characters get the coveted Daggertooth awards! Come join the longest show in Chompcast history in all of its edited and unedited splendor, and please return tomorrow for day two of the Daggertooth Awards!


    Chompcast Game of the Year 2017 - Day 1 Part 1 Dec 30, 2017
    Show notes

    Ladies and gentlemen, the time is here. Please don your beautiful, elegant dresses and your snazziest tuxedos. Wear your fanciest ties and put on your best make-up. Rent a limousine, bring your exclusive tickets, and walk down the red carpet to the Daggertooth Awards, Swordchomp’s Game of the Year event! We run through many categories of the first day of two, such as favorite character haircut, favorite character of 2017 you’d like to have a drink with, game of 2017 that best describes your sex life, favorite ecology, favorite character, favorite art direction, favorite boss, best sound design, favorite narrative, favorite gameplay mechanic, favorite soundtrack, favorite game this year that wasn’t released in 2017, and favorite gaming moment of 2017. Afterwards, we decide which games or characters get the coveted Daggertooth awards! Come join the longest show in Chompcast history in all of its edited and unedited splendor, and please return tomorrow for day two of the Daggertooth Awards!


    100 Clones, A Magical Bastard, and a Fleshy Mole - Ep. 71 Dec 27, 2017
    Show notes

    A very Merry Christmas to all of you! It has been a wonderful year here at the Chompcast. We wrap up the episodes of this year with talk of Wolfenstein 2, delving deep into our thoughts and opinions. Next on the agenda is our final Bio Break of the year, as we discuss fish orgies and their deafening effects on dolphins. Finally, we answer a host of listener questions. Thank you for taking a beautiful ride with us this past year. We look forward to coming back next year better than ever! Stay tuned next week for our Game of the Year extravaganza!


    Morgan and the Golden Dunk - Ep. 70 Dec 18, 2017
    Show notes

    "Timeout!!!"
    The players trot to the bench, perspiring and exhausted, yet feeling determined and anxious. A few of the players look up at the scoreboard. It reads, 62-62 with 0:11 seconds left. The coach pulls out a whiteboard with some colored magnets, and he places them into position. He begins to whip them around the board, talking strategy of defense and offense. The players crouch over the board, as sweat drips from their brows and rains down onto the hardwood floor of the court. Holding their knees, they nod their heads as the coach fills their mind with a final play.
    The coach gives them players a few short words of encouragement. "One stop," he says. Fatigue threatens to creep into the players' muscles, but the adrenaline of the close game keeps them alert and ready. The referee blows his whistle, filling the gym with the piercing sound of the game continuing. The players of both teams flood the floor. Each one begins to concentrate on what they need to do, focusing all of their minds on this moment.
    The opposing team's player receives the ball out-of-bounds from the referee. The referee blows his whistle again. The opposing players begin their practiced movement, performing a play to get their star player the ball. It is successful, as the opposing star player grabs the ball. The defender stays in front of the star, shuffling his feet and keeping his hands out wide with his butt low. The star player fakes going left before tossing the ball to the right in a quick crossover move. The defender goes for the fake, leaving the star player with a straight drive to the hoop.
    The star player looks up. 4 seconds left! He sprints to the basket as he dribbles, eyeing the rim with his peripheral vision. He picks up his dribble just below the free throw line. One defensive player, Morgan, steps away from his man to block the star player's drive to the hoop. He shuffles over, gathers his footing, and jumps straight into the air as the star player himself begins to jump. The star player soars above the defensive Morgan, catching him with his body. Morgan goes flying to the side, face frozen in anguish. The star player throws down a sick windmill dunk, shaking the rim and backboard. The ball flies through the net and smashes Morgan in the head as he lies on the ground in pain. The ball scares him and puts him further in pain. The shock of the pounding of the ball causes Morgan to piss all over himself and the court as he is knocked unconscious. The gym roars in cheers as the opposing team celebrates. Morgan's team mates rush over to help him, but see the puddle of urine and leave him soaking himself.
    This week is completely jam-packed with content, as the end of the year approaches. First, we focus on the brief announcements of the PSX convention. We somehow manage to fit in talk of Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice, Resident Evil 7 DLC, Hollow Knight, Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, and Nier: Automata. We also cover Fish's Amiibo addiction, a bio break article involving chimpanzees and viruses, and a fantastic listener question. Enjoy the newest episode of the Chompcast, and as always, thanks for being a part of our community.


    Enormous Reedus - Ep. 69 Dec 11, 2017
    Show notes

    Vidya Gamez! Yay!

    This week we discuss the Game of the Year Awards, Breath of the Wild, and Pyre.

    Enjoy the show, and join us again next week when Josh will teach us how to sensually tie cherry stems into knots... with your hands... the way God intended.


    Perturbing Animals - Ep. 68 Dec 06, 2017
    Show notes

    You arrive at your camp, having traveled through forest and plains to reach it. You are exhausted, but the thrill of a new adventure reinvigorates you, encouraging you. In the clearing, you see a creature with its back turned to you. It seems to be busy, but with what, you do not know. You stroll over to it, ever curious. A yelp in fright greets you as the creature turns to face you. A dog!
    The dog, having realized who you are, begins to wag its tail. This dog is peculiar, as it is standing on its two hind legs. It walks over to you, very human-like, and says hello. You are initially taken aback, having never met a talking animal before. It extends its paw, offering a shake of friendship. You grasp the paw in your own hand, shake it, and offer a warm hello in return.
    The dog seems very happy to see you. It begins to show you around the campsite, as your excitement is building and building. It offers to help you with the formation of your camp, which you readily accept. The dog recommends that you build couches. Lots and lots of couches. You think to yourself, why? Why couches? You decide to go with the dog’s advice, and you build 10 different couches. The dog, ecstatic, lowers himself to all fours, and begins to run across the couches, hopping from one to another in frantic disarray. You watch in confusion and amazement as the dog runs and jumps for 5 minutes. Finally, it begins to settle down, as it falls asleep on a couch. You chuckle to yourself, and you set down your pack.
    This week on the Chompcast, we have a fun and slightly contentious episode packed with talk of Animal Crossing mobile, Pyre, and Legend of Zelda: BotW. Our topic of the week is the recent controversy and the aftermath of EA, and how it affects the gaming medium as a whole. Lastly, we tie it off with a Bio Break of a fish that lives deep in the Mariana Trench.


    Working Title - Ep. 67 Nov 29, 2017
    Show notes

    Two of our heroes have taken on a mission of their own. After consulting a town’s mission board, Fish and Shea decide to go forward in time to save some unfortunate souls from the one and only, the Devil himself.

    Donning VR helmets, they venture into the 1930s United States, a time ravaged by drought and the Great Depression. History was made during this era: the Empire State Building and Hoover Dam were constructed, the first World Cup occurred, multiple record-breaking flights were recorded by Amelia Earhart and Wiley Post, Donald Duck was introduced as a Disney character, and the beginning of World War 2. Fish spots two anthropomorphic cups frolicking through the streets, discussing strategy to defeat some unknown assailant.

    The two heroes dart off into a back alley, opening up to a field littered with farms. They start to walk through the field, sensing something slightly nefarious. Suddenly, the Root Pack pops out of the earth. Moe Tato laughs, Weepy begins to sob uncontrollably in fear, and Psycarrot holds his orange head as he begins to concentrate with his eyes closed. Our heroes look to each other and pull out their finger guns.

    While Shea and Fish are out fighting for souls, Josh and Morgan decide to hit a lake rumored to be loaded with massive fish. After looting some sturdy fishing poles from some fiends nearby (what?), they bait their hooks and cast them into the water. Almost instantly, both Morgan and Josh look some beastly aquatic animals. Morgan manages to yank his out first, hoisting it into the air with glee. “Finally, what I’ve always wanted!” Josh, mere seconds later, pulls with all of his might, nearly snapping the rod. A fish twice the size of both of them flops up onto shore. Josh gives a sideways glance over to Morgan and snickers. “Mine’s bigger.”

    This week on the Chompcast, we have plenty to discuss, such as Fish getting a Switch, Shea playing Cuphead as well as Fish finishing the game, Shea’s brief experience with PS VR in a video game bar in Japan, Morgan’s and Fish’s time with Star Wars: Battlefront 2, and Morgan’s Holy Grail of a game; Final Fantasy 15 Monsters of the Deep. We also present the question of expectations versus reality in video gaming.


    In the Hot Seat - Ep. 66 Nov 22, 2017
    Show notes

    An alligator snapping turtle hops onto his fast, speeding motorcycle, grabbing Wumpa fruit as he passes them. He sees a ramp, and increases his speed as he aims towards it. He flies off through six rings floating in mid air. Below him the coastline stretches out into the distance, a single lonely house piercing the horizon. As he lands, his pockets feel a bit heavier; the rings have shrunk and magically transported there. The turtle revs his engine and... well... we wouldn’t want to spoil the ending for you, now would we?

    Hello lasses and chums! Come join the chatter this week, as we discuss spoilers in gaming and our media. We end up all over the spectrum with this challenging question. From there, we discuss What Remains of Edith Finch, Shea finally manages to have his way with the Crash Bandicoot trilogy, we bait ourselves into a Sonic argument, and we have a Bio Break article about... you guessed it: an alligator snapping turtle! So if you are a fan of fictitious fruit, gleaming rings, gun fights, and divisive conversations, you’ve come to the right place.


    Shooting the Breeze - Ep. 65 Nov 15, 2017
    Show notes

    This week we talk about how shooters are the worst. And also Wolfenstein 2.

    We also discuss Super Mario Odyssey.

    And we listen to Fish explain how he plays Golf Clash because he loves it and not because he's trapped, and they really love each other, and those bruises are because he's just clumsy and falls down sometimes.

    Sit back. Relax. Get yourself a nice cold glass of hot cocoa. And enjoy the show!


    Senseless Violence - Ep. 64 Nov 08, 2017
    Show notes

    The four heroes return to the tavern they once visited, after a lengthy few months of slaying monsters and travelling with various heroes. Josh throws his pack on an empty table and beelines straight to the bar for a pint. Fish sits down at the table, and begins to etch on a wrinkly parchment. Shea sets his stuff down and hurries off to the bathroom, holding his weak bladder for much too long. Morgan joins Fish at the table and motions to the head mistress to have her send his favorite girl. Within seconds, he falls asleep. As the mistress arrives, she stares at the passed out hero, and then looks at Fish. Fish looks up from his parchment, shrugs his shoulders, and then continues to write onto the paper. The mistress, angered that her time was wasted, slaps the napping hero in the back of the head, then ascends the stairs back to the second floor. Rich, the bartender whips up four pints of his finest ales for the heroes. He joins Josh, as they begin to catch up on the tales of the creature eliminating. Josh tells of the heroes’ sagas, weaving story after story. Rich listens intently, and then primes Josh for a story of his own. “There is a man that just entered our dusty town. No one has ever seen him before. He is unlike anything anyone has ever seen.” Riveted, Josh sits at the end of his chair, gulping his beer. His eyes are widened, and a frothy, beery moustache gleams on his upper lip. Rich continues, “He has been labelled one of the greatest monster destroyers this world has ever seen. But that’s not what makes him so odd.” Rich, looked around, ensuring that no one was eavesdropping. Josh repeats Rich’s actions, almost looking to see if the strange creature he spoke of would suddenly pop up. “No, what’s so odd about this man is---” Suddenly, a group of 3 enemies burst into the bar, surprising everyone. They knocked over Fish and Morgan, tangling them with the legs of the chairs and tables. Some of the patrons fled for upstairs, fearing for their life. Josh went to draw his sword, but remembered that he had set it on the table in his weariness. Shea attempted to exit the bathroom to join the fracas, but locked himself in the bathroom and couldn’t get out. A man burst into the tavern, wearing red overalls and a red hat. He donned a thick moustache, one not made of beer. The heroes looked to the man, and were greeted with, “Here we GOOOOOOOOOOO!”


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