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Episode 96: Signs of Emotional Immaturity & How to Bring Emotional Health Into Your Relationships Mar 28, 2024

Show notes

Do you walk on eggshells with someone you love?

Do you sometimes feel like you can't have an honest conversation?

Signs of emotional immaturity are everywhere. In today’s episode, we dive into the signs of emotional immaturity and its profound effect on our relationships. You'll learn the difference between emotionally mature and immature responses so that you can improve your connections. Here’s what we cover:

1. Why emotional immaturity is so prevalent & how it showed up in me! (6:15)

2. Examples of mature vs. immature emotional responses (10:43)

3. The difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism (21:44)

4. The role of enmeshment in emotional immaturity (29:41)

5. Tips for how to navigate a relationship with an emotionally immature person (35:33)

6. Tips for growing in emotional maturity (37:42)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

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Related Episodes:

Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really?

Episode 94: Should I Stay or Should I Walk Away? How to Discern When It’s Time to Leave with Emily P. Freeman

Episode 95: 4 Toxic Behaviors You Need to Recognize & the #1 Way to Protect Yourself

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Episode 95: 4 Toxic Behaviors You Need to Recognize & the #1 Way to Protect Yourself Mar 21, 2024

Show notes

If you’re human, you’ve encountered some toxic behaviors. We all have. And it’s not wise to be naive about them. I’m passionate about helping you identify these toxic behaviors—not to label people, but to name behaviors accurately. When you understand the nature of toxic strategies, you can protect yourself and move toward health. Here’s what you’ll learn:

1. A mistake vs. a pattern of toxic behaviors (4:59)

2. The root of toxic behaviors (15:14)

3. Examples of healthy communication vs. manipulation (16:40)

4. Identifying guilt-driven love (22:03)

5. The difference between constructive feedback & criticism (25:48)

6. Examples of triangulation (31:32)

7. The #1 antidote against toxic behaviors (36:17)

8. Examples of word & action boundaries (39:04)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

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Related Episodes:

Episode 94: Should I Stay or Should I Walk Away? How to Discern When It’s Time to Leave with Emily P. Freeman

Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really?

Episode 26: Types of "No" Part 2—How to Say "No" to Toxicity, The Real Meaning of Turn the Other Cheek & How to Form a Boundaries Committee

Boundaries and the Bible Youtube Playlist

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Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

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Episode 94: Should I Stay or Should I Walk Away? How to Discern When It’s Time to Leave with Emily P. Freeman Mar 14, 2024

Show notes

How do you decide when it’s time to leave a place or a relationship behind?

We have to make decisions all the time. Yet most of us struggle with it. It’s hard to leave something (or someone) behind. It’s also hard to give ourselves the time that we need to wrestle with the decision.

When you don’t have a process, you might be tempted to avoid decision-making. Or you might rush too quickly into a decision that isn’t quite right. That’s why I’m thrilled to have this conversation with Emily P. Freeman this week. It’s such a rich conversation about how to discern when it’s time to walk away and what to do when it's time to enter into a new space. Here’s what we cover:

1. The truth about tiny red flags (11:29)

2. 4 crucial questions to ask yourself (13:40)

3. What to do with those 51/49 decisions (20:13)

4. Readiness vs. timeliness in decision making (21:30)

5. Emily’s decision process for leaving a church (25:26)

6. How to walk into a new space (33:28)

7. A life-changing 2 word mantra for decision making (38:34)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

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Related Episode:

Episode 93: 3 Ways to Stop Guilt-Tripping Yourself, Untangle Complicated Emotions, & Discover the Joy of Clarity

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Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

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Episode 93: 3 Ways to Stop Guilt-Tripping Yourself, Untangle Complicated Emotions, & Discover the Joy of Clarity Mar 07, 2024

Show notes

Emotions are complicated. They're also beautiful.

When you don't honor the complicated mix of fears, frustrations, and also the good things that you feel, you doubt yourself and you doubt other people. You deprive yourself of the opportunity to get real wisdom and to brave healthier solutions.

Today we're diving into these complicated feelings together. Here's what we cover:

1. Why emotional complexity is a gift

2. Examples of how we guilt-trip & gaslight ourselves

3. How to locate emotions within a larger story

4. Real-life examples

5. The 3 most important guideposts to get started

Preorder I Shouldn't Feel This Way!

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Related Episode:

Episode 92: How to Honor Loss & Why It Matters With Rachel Marie Kang

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Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

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Episode 92: How to Honor Loss & Why It Matters With Rachel Marie Kang Feb 29, 2024

Show notes

We experience big and little losses all the time.

A friend moves away.

An opportunity passes you by.

A relationship ends.

Learning how to recognize and honor the losses we all experience can become a beautiful part of life, leading to more kindness, self-compassion, and connection. But we don't often talk about our losses, let alone how to honor them.

That's why I loved this conversation with Rachel Marie Kang about creating space to honor loss. She is the author of the brand new book, The Matter of Little Losses, a beautiful journey through how to honor the big and little losses in your life.

Here's what we cover:

1. The difference between loss and grief (2:09)

2. Different types of loss (7:22)

3. How we process loss as children (14:23)

4. Examples of “little” losses (22:46)

5. The most important way to parent kids through losses (31:04)

6. Rachel’s 3 steps for tending losses each day (35:25)

7. The thing we want most to help us through loss (39:59)

8. Why honoring loss brings hope (47:25)

Get The Matter of Little Losses here.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Related Episodes:

Episode 90: Parenting Through Transitions—How Their Challenges Catalyze Your Growth

Episode 91: Self-Worth–How to Believe You Are Enough & Transform Your Life with Jamie Kern Lima

Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness, Set Boundaries with Loneliness, and What to Do When You Don’t Have Time for this Work

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

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Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

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Episode 91: Self-Worth–How to Believe You Are Enough & Transform Your Life with Jamie Kern Lima Feb 22, 2024

Show notes

Do you doubt yourself?

Struggle to respect your own worth?

Self-worth is foundational to both our psychological and our spiritual health, and today's episode is all about how to develop it. My guest, Jamie Kern Lima, is an entrepreneur, philanthropist, New York Times bestselling author, and founder of IT Cosmetics, a company she started in her living room and grew to the largest luxury makeup brand in the country.

If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, this episode is for you. Here’s what we cover:

1. The 4 benefits of self-worth

2. The difference between self-worth and self-confidence

3. The moment Jamie realized she was believing a lie

4. Who are you really doubting?

5. The prayer Jamie prayed to combat God-doubt

6. Research on negative self-talk

7. How to reframe rejection

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Related Episode:

Episode 29: Perfectionism and Proving Your Worth: How to Stop Chasing Approval and Start Living the Life You Actually Want

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

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This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

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Music by Andy Luiten.

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

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Episode 90: Parenting Through Transitions—How Their Challenges Catalyze Your Growth Feb 15, 2024

Show notes

Navigating transitions with your children is a deep dive into raw emotions, facing conflict, and your own unhealed wounds.

These transitions aren't easy. The stakes feel so high! But when you face them with courage, compassion and curiosity, you'll find your way through the wilderness and onto a beautiful path. As you do your own work, you'll be an even stronger anchor for your kids!

Rowena Day is back to discuss:

1. How parenting changes our neural pathways (9:25)

2. Learning to set limits (12:17)

3. Parenting differently than how you were parented (22:10)

4. Growth vs. fixed mindset (29:29)

5. A better way to praise your kids (30:29)

6. The problem with peer attachments (36:40)

7. The ultimate goal of all this parenting work (45:47)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Related Episodes:

Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be

Episode 88: Navigating Transitions—What to Do When Change Stirs up Anxiety, Uncertainty, or Confusion

Episode 89: When A Relationship Has to Change—How to Tolerate Discomfort, Face an Attachment Void, & Resource Yourself

Thanks to our sponsors:

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This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

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Episode 89: When A Relationship Has to Change—How to Tolerate Discomfort, Face an Attachment Void, & Resource Yourself Feb 08, 2024

Show notes

We need attachments to other people, places, and to God. Yet transitions have a way of shaking up those attachments—even healthy ones!

Today we’re talking all about how to balance our need to hold on to others - and also the need to let go. It takes skill and self-compassion to navigate these seasons of wrestling for more health, more connection, or more freedom.

Here’s what we cover:

1. Healthy & unhealthy attachments (9:34)

2. The 2 competing relationship needs everyone has (21:45)

3. Attachment voids (28:12)

4. Practices to anchor yourself (33:50)

5. The role of liminal figures (40:08)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Related Episodes:

Episode 16: What are Attachment Styles and Why Does it Matter?

Episode 88: Navigating Transitions—What to Do When Change Stirs up Anxiety, Uncertainty, or Confusion

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!

Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust.

Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com/BESTOFYOU.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

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Episode 88: Navigating Transitions—What to Do When Change Stirs up Anxiety, Uncertainty, or Confusion Feb 01, 2024

Show notes

What do you do when life feels disorienting or uncertain? Maybe a relationship ends, you change jobs, or your children no longer need you in the same way.

Change is disorienting. We don’t always recognize the value in slowing down to process these in between places—when we’ve left something (or someone) behind but aren’t yet sure what the future is going to look like.

This next series is all about navigating transitions. I've invited spiritual director, Rowena Day, on to discuss. . .

1. Normalizing liminal spaces (2:50)

2. Do we ever "arrive" at stability? (9:11)

3. Fascinating research on the pain of uncertainty (26:25)

4. The 3 stages of transitions (27:13)

5. The surprising value in endings (28:28)

6. How your body can become your ally (41:25)

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Related Episodes:

Episode 49: Personality, the Big Five Traits, and Why Are We So Obsessed With Personality Types?

Other episodes with Rowena Day:

Episode 31: Peace-Keeping, Anger Avoidance, and How to Start Using Your Voice

Episode 44: Why Anger is a Surprising Friend, What Happens When You Avoid It, and How to Create Space for Healthy Expression of Anger in Your Family

Episode 63: Spiritual Direction, the Power of Listening, & How to Attune to Yourself and to Others

Thanks to our sponsors:

Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.

Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order.

Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit atnotescandle.com/bestofyou.

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

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Episode 87: A Surprising Way to Break Free From Self-Criticism & Comparing Yourself to Others Jan 25, 2024

Show notes

Do you feel like others are doing better than you? Do you struggle with an inner critic? Do you see the strengths in others, but struggle to see them in yourself?

This episode will empower you. I've personally seen the harm that negative comparison can do, and I'm passionate about helping you escape its trap.

You'll uncover a surprising way to tackle comparison, along with simple steps to follow when it arises. Most importantly, you'll learn how to focus your attention on what matters most.

Listen to this episode whenever you catch yourself in self-criticism. Here's what we cover:

—The only time comparison is healthy

—Two types of negative comparison

—A powerful metaphor from the Bible

—The surprising antidote to comparison

—4 simple steps to transform your outlook

—1 powerful question to ask yourself each day

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.

Related Episodes:

Episode 84: The Truth About Happiness and 4 Proven Ways to Feel Happier

Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction