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    Kids & Family

    The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

    Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children’s mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you’re parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. 

    You can become your child’s expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.

    Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2024 The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

    • Apple Podcasts
    • Google Play
    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    REPLAY: What does "Vulnerable Nervous System" mean? Feb 16, 2024
    Show notes

    What is a vulnerable nervous system and how do you know if your child has one? Understanding what is meant by "vulnerable nervous system" can help you support your child with big, baffling behaviors.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • What do I mean by vulnerable nervous system
    • How to know if your child has a vulnerable nervous system
    • What causes nervous system vulnerability
    • How to support a child who has a vulnerable nervous system

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/
    Attachment Series ebook: Robyngobbel.com/ebook
    The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
    Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/vulnerable

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    EP. 165: What’s Up With Rude & Disrespectful Behaviors? Feb 13, 2024
    Show notes

    Sometimes it’s those lower-level, chronic behaviors- like rudeness and sassiness- that can really deplete the very limited reserves we have saved up in our own window of stress tolerance. Then we waffle between over-responding (big reaction, tiny problem) or under-responding (ignoring dysregulation which ultimately leads to increased dysregulation).

    Kids in chronic protection mode often seem rude, sassy, and mildly oppositional. What do we do when it feels like every word out of our own mouths would be to correct our kid’s tone or disrespect?
    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • Where sassy, rude, and disrespectful language usually falls on the watchdog continuum
    • Possibilities about what really be underneath your child’s rude behavior
    • Times when it makes sense for our kids to have a what’s up watchdog brain response that we should respect, not try to change

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Boundaries With Verbal Aggression With Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/rude

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    {REPLAY} How to Influence - Not Control - Behaviors Feb 09, 2024
    Show notes

    Understanding the difference between having influence over behavior vs. control can help you get clear on what to focus on.

    One of the trickier parts of the work I do is talking so much with parents about attachment, their role in co-regulation, and felt-safety, without snagging into parent’s shame about every parent's deepest worry- that their child’s baffling behaviors are all their fault.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • What it means to influence, not control
    • What your real responsibility is in influencing behavior
    • Responsibility does not equal blame
    • How to acknowledge influence without shame

    Read a summary or the full transcript at:
    robyngobbel.com/influencebehaviors

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    EP. 164: Attachment Science in Action- A conversation with Jessica Sinarski Feb 06, 2024
    Show notes

    If you’ve ever wanted to eavesdrop on a conversation between two attachment, trauma, and neuro-nerds, today is your chance.

    Robyn and her dear friend and colleague, Jessica Sinarski, got together a few weeks ago for a live webinar to chat about how they have turned attachment science into practice.

    If you missed that webinar, here’s your chance to listen in.
    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • Why most therapy trainings are inadequate for working with children with trauma and attachment histories
    • How Robyn & Jessica learned how to put attachment science into practice
    • What to do if your clients what a behavioral approach
    • Why we don’t have to have all (or even most) of the answers

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Moving Beyond Trauma Informed with Jessica Sinarski
    • Being With with Robyn Gobbel
    • There might be more, I’m not sure

    Read the full transcript at:https://robyngobbel.com/attachmentscience/

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 163: Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3 Jan 30, 2024
    Show notes

    Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between.

    In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship!

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • How availability of connection is a cue of safety or danger
    • How neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervous system (connection or protection?)
    • Why nervous systems are contagious
    • How ‘between’ cues of safety eventually become ‘inside’ cues of safety
    • How you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession mode

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}
    • When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
    • Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101}
    • Amanda Diekman’s Book! - Low-Demand Parenting

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetween

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep 162: Felt Safety (Outside) - Part 2 Jan 23, 2024
    Show notes

    In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what’s happening in the environment.

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • Misconceptions about felt safety
    • External (outside) cues of felt safety, such as the environment, sensory experiences, structure, and environmental demands
    • What we do with this information

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}
    • Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}
    • Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}
    • Marti’s Book! - The Connected Therapist

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyoutside

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep 161: Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1 Jan 16, 2024
    Show notes

    Let’s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation.

    This week begins a three-part deep-dive into the foundational concept of felt safety.

    What is felt safety, what isn’t felt safety, and why it matters!

    Next we will explore the many different ways we are all neuroceiving safety (or not) from our inner world.

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • Misconceptions about felt safety
    • Internal cues of felt safety, such as hunger, illness, or being in chronic protection mode
    • What we do with this information

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Focus On the Nervous System to Change Behavior {Ep 84}
    • What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}
    • Connection or Protection??? {Ep 7}
    • Enabling Vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinside

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    REPLAY: What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? Jan 11, 2024
    Show notes

    There’s a lot of confusion about what co-regulation really is. Parents often say to me something like “OK, I get it- I’m supposed to give co-regulation instead of a consequence. But- what does that really mean? Like- what does co-regulation actually look like in real life?”
    Listen to the episode to learn:

    • What regulation really is
    • What co-regulation really is
    • The ‘ingredients’ of co-regulation
    • An example of in-real-life co-regulation (with an older child)
    • Active vs. passive co-regulation

    In this podcast, I mention:
    Is it really about trust? Or not enough co-regulation? Building the Tower of Self-Regulation
    Regulation Does Not Equal Calm
    FREE
    One-page PDF infographic on What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like!
    CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox
    You can read a longer summary AND get a full transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/coregulation

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    REPLAY: Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior Jan 09, 2024
    Show notes

    Behavior is just what we see on the outside that tells us about what’s happening on the inside.

    If we want to change behavior, we have to change what’s driving the behavior.

    This approach to behavior change rests on the idea that regulated, connected kids who feel safe behave well. If you’re curious about how I came to that conclusion, you can watch my free masterclass and download the free eBook on Focus on the Nervous System!

    How many times have you felt confused because of conflicting parenting advice?
    Or how often has good parenting advice worked- but only some of the time?
    That’s because parenting advice is aimed at stopping a behavior. But…

    Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ChangeBehavior

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    REPLAY: When Your Child Doesn't Participate in Therapy Jan 02, 2024
    Show notes

    I know it feels very frustrating when you find a therapist, arrange your schedule, and find a way to pay for therapy only for your child to not participate. Often parents ask me how to get their child to participate or what to do if their child won’t participate.

    But actually what we really need to talk about is what does it look like to participate- or not- in therapy. Especially as a child.

    In this episode, we’ll talk about

    • What therapy really is
    • What the right pace is for your child
    • How it’s not possible for your child to not participate (if the therapist is prioritizing safety)

    FREE
    One-page PDF infographic on What Therapy Really Is!
    CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox
    Read a summary of this episode, access the full show notes: RobynGobbel.com/ChildInTherapy

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


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