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    Kids & Family

    The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

    Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children’s mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you’re parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. 

    You can become your child’s expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.

    Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2024 The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

    • Apple Podcasts
    • Google Play
    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    REPLAY: Stress Response System Apr 26, 2024
    Show notes

    This episode originally aired on September 20th, 2022

    Another important piece of understanding what is underneath your child's big, baffling behaviors is the Stress Response System. Our Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children's behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • What stress is and how to differentiate good stress from bad stress
    • The impact of trauma and toxic stress to the Stress Response System
    • How to build resilience in a sensitized Stress Response System
    • A reframe to shift your own Stress Response System

    Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/stressresponse/

    Check out my recent series on Building the Foundation of the Brain mentioned in this podcast HERE

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    EP 175: Secure Relating with Guests Sue and Ann from Therapist Uncensored Apr 23, 2024
    Show notes

    Settle in for a fun and inspiring chat with hosts from Therapist Uncensored and authors of the new release Secure Relating, Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley.

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • How responding to our children’s (and partner’s) needs in the present moment, instead of from a place of anxious or avoidant states, can improve our relationships
    • About the intersection of attachment and trauma in our systems of care- like the child welfare and mental health systems
    • How much hope there is when we shift to looking at attachment in the here and now instead of based on our histories

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Ann and Sue's Podcast! - therapistuncensored.com
    • Pre-order a copy of Secure Relating!
    • Secure Relating Online Launch! - therapistuncensored.com/upcoming_events/

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/securerelating

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    REPLAY: Enabling vs Low-Demand Parenting Apr 19, 2024
    Show notes

    This episode originally aired on August 1st, 2023

    Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But what if we told you that understanding the balance between enabling and co-regulation could be your guiding light? This week, we break down this crucial contrast, demystifying the term 'enabling', often misconstrued in the mental health field, and venture into the science behind lowering demands - a strategy that can bolster your child’s stress response system.
    In this episode you'll learn:

    • The importance of being self-attuned to what's hard vs. too hard
    • How to determine between lowering demands for your own comfort and doing it because it is genuinely too arduous for your child
    • The difference between enabling/codependent behaviors and co-regulation

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Connection or Protection??? {7}
    What to do after We Mess up {80}
    Stress Response System {94}

    Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/Enabling

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 174: When it's Hard to Keep Offering Connection Apr 16, 2024
    Show notes

    I’m sure you’ve had moments (days, weeks, months) where it felt hard, maybe even impossible, to keep offering connection to your child.

    It is hard to offer connection to someone who seems to constantly reject it!

    If it feels hard to keep offering your child connection, I actually want you to shift your focus. Don’t prioritize offering connection to your child. Instead think about:

    • Who can offer YOU connection?
    • How can you offer connection to yourself?
    • Who could you offer connection to who is able to receive it, and offer connection back?

    You’ll also learn how glitter boots are related to giving and receiving connection!

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/offeringconnection

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    REPLAY: Low Demand Parenting with Amanda Diekman Apr 12, 2024
    Show notes

    This episode originally aired on July 18th, 2023
    What if I told you that there's a revolutionary approach to parenting that's shifting the traditional power dynamics and nurturing stronger relationships of trust and understanding? My latest conversation with Amanda Diekman, author of the groundbreaking book "Low Demand Parenting", explores this very concept. Together, we tread into the challenging terrain of parenting children with highly sensitive nervous systems, sharing insightful strategies and breakthrough research work of Ross Green, Mona Delahooke, and Stuart Shanker.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    • What is low-demand parenting
    • How to create a post-meltdown plan for parents

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Low Demand Parenting- Released July 21, 2023
    https://us.jkp.com/products/lowdemand-parenting?_pos=1&_sid=b80ccd227&_ss=r
    ***For 20% off and free shipping, use code: BafflingBehaviors20

    Find Amanda on Instagram: @LowDemandAmanda
    Find Amanda online: https://www.amandadiekman.com
    Post Meltdown Plan for Parents on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/Ctgv-B1OjtE/
    Read a the full transcript at: https://RobynGobbel.com/lowdemand

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 173: Are Connected Kids always Cooperative Apr 09, 2024
    Show notes

    If regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well, does that mean connected kids are always cooperative?

    Definitely not! In fact, there’s a level of connection to others- and to themselves! - that invites in the safety to be UNcooperative!
    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • How safety can invite both cooperative and UNcooperative behavior
    • Why too much cooperation would actually be a bad thing
    • How parenting with co-regulation and connection helps kids become more connected to themselves

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/cooperative

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    REPLAY: School Refusal with Eliza Fricker Apr 05, 2024
    Show notes

    This is NOT an episode about how to make your kid go to school.
    What you WILL learn in this episode:

    • What is pathological demand avoidance, or PDA?
    • Schools valuing attendance above all is not helpful
    • You are a good parent even if your kid doesn’t go to school
    • That sometimes, all we have to do is be nice

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Can’t Not Won’t by Eliza Fricker
    • The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker
    • The Educator's Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker

    How to Connect with Eliza Fricker:

    • Website
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Twitter

    Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/SchoolRefusal

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 172: What does it mean to 'Heal'? Apr 02, 2024
    Show notes

    The question of ‘can I heal’ or 'can my child heal' or ‘how do I (or my child) heal’ is a tricky one.

    Healing is a word that gets used a lot without really pausing to ask ourselves what it actually means.

    If we are aiming for a nebulous goal that hasn’t been defined, it will feel impossible to reach. Impossible tasks often feel hopeless.
    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • Why it’s most useful to stay focused on widening our window of stress tolerance
    • How co-regulation contributes to healing
    • How memory relates to trauma symptoms and healing

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}
    • Scaffolding Is A Form Of Co-Regulation {Ep 82}
    • Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {EP 155}
    • Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1 {EP 161}


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/heal

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    REPLAY: Lying as a Trauma Driven Behavior Mar 29, 2024
    Show notes

    ***This episode originally aired on February 2nd, 2021***

    Lying is probably the behavior parents seek support with the most. It's confusing. It's triggering. It's exhausting.
    Did you catch last week's episode on X Ray Vision Goggles? We can use those goggles to get underneath the lying so we can respond in ways that actually sets the boundary and increases the possibility of helping our children developing more socially and relationally appropriate behaviors.
    Read the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/lying/

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    EP. 171: Living with someone chronically dysregulated Mar 26, 2024
    Show notes

    Do you live with someone or love someone who is chronically dysregulated?
    This episode isn’t an episode that is going to tell you what to do.
    This is an episode of commiseration. Of “I see you.”
    It is exhausting to live with someone who is chronically unhappy, or chronically dysregulated. Knowing you’re not alone can help.


    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • How nervous systems match each other
    • How we get our sense of safety from the state of each other’s nervous system
    • The serve & return and rhythms of relationship, and what happens when that gets disrupted

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Self-Regulation Doesn’t Exist!!
    • When Parenting Is Traumatic {EP 95}
    • Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3 {EP 163}

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/chronicallydysregulated

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


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