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    Kids & Family

    The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

    Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children’s mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you’re parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. 

    You can become your child’s expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.

    Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2024 The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

    • Apple Podcasts
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    Latest Episodes:
    REPLAY: Scaffolding is a Form of Co-Regulation Jun 14, 2024
    Show notes

    What does my child need for their success to be inevitable?

    If I wanted to paint the top of a 20 foot wall, I’d rent some scaffolding. Scaffolding makes the floor higher and would get me as close to the top of the wall as I needed.

    The scaffolding would help make my success inevitable. It’s not the only thing I need to be successful (paint would come in handy!), but it’s a really important piece.

    In parenting, scaffolding is the support that we put in place that allows our children to be successful. Then, slowly, thoughtful, and sequentially, we decrease the amount of external support needed as our children develop that capacity to be successful on their own.
    Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/Scaffolding

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep 182: There Is Nothing Wrong With You! With Guest Janet Nordine Jun 11, 2024
    Show notes

    Janet Nordine is a registered play therapist, adoptee, and mental health activist working tirelessly to improve children’s mental health services, specifically in the state of Nevada.

    Janet has an important message for adoptees that I think is relevant to all kids and families who are supporting kids with vulnerable nervous systems:

    There is nothing wrong with you. You’ve done nothing wrong. You can be OK.

    In this episode, explore

    • How to help create ‘good parent messages’ for children who feel unloved and unwanted
    • Sitting with two conflicting feelings at once
    • The benefits of falling in love with yourself

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Children’s Mental Wellness Symposium- Las Vegas NV
      • September 26 - 29, 2024
      • Details and registration here: https://lasvegasplaytherapy.com/
    • Good Morning, I Love You by Dr. Shauna Shapiro


    Read the full transcript at:https://RobynGobbel.com/NothingWrong

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    REPLAY: Co-Regulation Before Self-Regulation Jun 07, 2024
    Show notes

    Self-regulation is a crucial developmental milestone and I’m thrilled that we are turning our eyes toward self-regulation instead of staying focused on behavior modification through rewards and consequences. At the same time, we must remember that self-regulation is developed through repeated and regular experiences of co-regulation with an attuned, regulated, present caregiver. If children are struggling to use their self-regulation skills, it’s quite possible that they aren’t regulated enough to access those skills. They are getting dysregulated too quickly and need co-regulation before they can be expected to use skills on their own. It is these experiences of coregulation that build the neural circuity for what is ultimately labeled self-regulation...so you don’t need to worry that the continued offering of co-regulation will impede the development of self-regulation- it’s exactly the opposite!!!
    Humans never outgrow their need for co-regulation! We all need connection and co-regulation! Which is exactly why I've created The Club- a virtual community for parents of kids impacted by trauma!
    CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members!

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    EP 181: What's the "Connected Response" to {Insert Specific Difficult Behavior Here}? Jun 04, 2024
    Show notes

    What’s the connected response to {insert difficult behavior here}??

    How do I respond to {insert difficult behavior here} in a connected way???

    I get some version of this question almost every day. So, let’s answer it here on the podcast!

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • What most parents are really asking when they ask ‘what’s the connected response’?
    • What a connected response really is
    • How to trust your own intuition to answer that question

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Resources included in the blog summary go here

    Read the full transcript at:https://robyngobbel.com/connectedresponse/

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    EP 180: What's Up With Regression? May 28, 2024
    Show notes

    It’s normal and common for stress and dysregulation to cause kids to act younger than they really are. This happens to grown-ups too! Simply because it’s normal and common doesn’t mean it’s not very frustrating!
    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • A neurosequential explanation for regression
    • How to use regression as a cue or a clue about the state of your child’s nervous system
    • Ways to respond to regressed behavior that may increase regulation, connection, and felt safety

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • A NueroDevelopmental Approach: Right Intervention, Right Time {EP 47}

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/regression

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    EP 179: Is Regulated The Goal? May 21, 2024
    Show notes

    I’m sure you often feel like ‘getting your kid regulated’ is a very important goal!

    But- is it? Is regulated the goal? And is it possible to even consider these kinds of questions when we are parenting very dysregulated kids with very dangerous behaviors?
    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • The difference between a moment of being regulated and having a regulated (balanced) nervous system
    • How regulation and dysregulation must coexist
    • Why thinking about any of this high-level stuff when you have REAL PROBLEMS TO REALLY ADDRESS can be helpful

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Regulated Does Not Equal Calm https://RobynGobbel.com/lisadion

    Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/regulatedthegoal

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    EP 178: EVERYONE Has A Watchdog And Possum Brain! May 14, 2024
    Show notes

    Believe it or not, we don’t want to get rid of our kids’ watchdog and possum brains!
    We want to help their watchdog and possum brain rest so they aren’t working so hard.
    Their watchdog and possum brains are overworked and overactive.

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • Why we must remember that everyone has a watchdog and possum brain
    • How gratitude and acceptance of the watchdog and possum brain strengthens the owl brain
    • We don’t want to get rid of our children’s watchdog and possums brains- we want to help them rest

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean? {EP 122}
    • Connection Or Protection??? {EP 7}
    • Stress Response System {EP 94}

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/everyone

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    EP 177: When Possums Become Watchdogs May 07, 2024
    Show notes

    When I work with parents whose child spends a lot of time on the possum pathway, I warn them that sometimes possum kids become watchdog kids before the finally have a nice, strong owl brain.
    Because watchdog behaviors are often more intense and scarier than possum behaviors, this can feel like your child is ‘getting worse.’
    It’s actually a sign of healing, and here’s why!
    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • Why kids who have a lot of possum behavior can sometimes become kids who have a lot of watchdog behavior
    • Why this phenomenon usually means there is progress and healing happening
    • Why sometimes kids move from possum behaviors to owl behaviors without having watchdog behaviors

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/possumsbecomewatchdogs

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    REPLAY: Self-Compassion Keeps you Regulated May 03, 2024
    Show notes

    This episode originally aired on December 22, 2020, episode 8

    :::
    I love love love talking about self-compassion for two main reasons. #1- Self-Compassion is solidly anchored in the relational neurosciences- and you know how much I love...and need...for things to be anchored in science. #2- Self-compassion has tenacity. There's no way out. Self-compassion has an answer for all your reasons why you aren't worthy of self-compassion. I love that about self-compassion (probably because people describe me as tenacious- especially, relationally).
    In this episode, we will explore the science of self-compassion. We'll look at why compassion is the neurobiology of change. Why you deserve compassion. Why compassion is how the brain heals and changes. Compassion can feel risky- and I'll give you the science that might help you feel safe enough to take the vulnerable step toward self-compassion.
    To read more about self-compassion, visit robyngobbel.com/selfcompassion

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    EP 176: Feel Better, Even If Nothing Changes Apr 30, 2024
    Show notes

    Is it possible to feel better even if your child’s behavior doesn’t change?
    Even if the stress doesn’t change?
    Theoretically, yes.
    Your chronic watchdog or possum state means you are in chronic protection mode. Is it possible to shift out of protection mode before the chaos in your life changes?
    That’s exactly what we address in today’s episode!
    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • The two different paths you can take to feel better (come out of protection mode) even if the chaos in your life never changes
    • The neuroscience behind how connection and co-regulation (for you!) becomes twice as important for your ability to stay more regulated even when things are really hard
    • Resources to help you feel better (shift out of protection) that you can do by yourself, as well as resources that are based in connection and co-regulation

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Connection Or Protection {EP 7}
    • When Your Nervous System Is Fried {EP 139}
    • The Privilege Of Parenting With Safety {EP 169}

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feelbetter

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


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