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    Christianity

    The Babylon Bee

    This is the official, authoritative, inspired podcast of the Babylon Bee. Join editor-in-chief Kyle Mann for a look at weekly highlights, discussing the spiciest topics of the times, the stories behind the stories, and a behind-the-scenes look at the inner workings of America’s most trusted source for Christian news satire.

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    Copyright: All Contents © Copyright 2019 The Babylon Bee

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    Latest Episodes:
    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 7:Tom Bombadil Is Awesome Feb 14, 2021
    Show notes

    Kyle and Dan, from The Babylon Bee, along with Jonathan Watson, from TheOneRing.Com where you can join a growing fellowship of Tolkien fans, get to one of their favorite chapters of The Lord of the Rings: In The House Of Tom Bombadil! Who the heck is this weird guy dancing and singing in the old forest? What did Tolkien say about who Tom is and what does he have to teach us? How is this detour in the old forest to Tom's house essential to the story? Tom Bombadil is awesome and by the end of this episode, we think you'll agree.

    Chapter 7 summary: The hobbits enter the house and seem to be enchanted by Goldberry. Frodo even bursts into song when he sees her. Frodo asks her who Tom Bombadil really is and she tells him that Tom is simply Tom: the master of wood, water and hill. He has no desire to own anything and he has no fear. Frodo asks Tom if he had heard their cry for help or if he had just happened to come by at the right time. Tom said that he had been expecting them. They eat and go to bed. The Hobbits all have nightmares, except Sam. Frodo dreams of man on a tower taken away by a large eagle and then black riders, Pippin is back in the willow tree, and Merry thinks he is about to be drowned.The next day it rains, so Tom begins to tell them stories. He tells them about the old forest and the trees like Old Man Willow. He warns them about the barrow downs and the spirits. The Hobbits lose track of time. Frodo once again tries to find out who Tom Bombadil is by asking him directly. Tom asks Frodo to show him the Ring. He is completely unconcerned about the ring or Sauron. He teaches them a rhyme to call him for help and tells them they must leave the next day.

    Topics Discussed

    Who the heck is Tom?

    "Tom was a paradoxical creature, one moment defeating ancient forces with hardly an effort, the next capering and singing nonsensical songs."

    "Eldest, that's what I am... Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn... He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless - before the Dark Lord came from Outside."

    "He is Master of wood, water, and hill." But he doesn't own it! "That would be a burden," says Goldberry. He also "just is as you have seen him" and is "not afraid."

    Tom always seems preoccupied about his own business and seems to forget the needs of his guests. 'Tom, Tom! your guests are tired, and you had near forgotten!

    Who the heck is Goldberry? She is full of joy and laughter and is described as "enthroned."

    The paradox of Bombadil in that he is good but is not concerned with the shadow vs the Hobbits "you cannnot shut the world out forever"

    Kyle's tweet thread about his favorite passage in Lord of the Rings: (though he reserves his right to say that a lot over the course of this show)

    Dan thinks it is odd that Tom just happens to have a feast set, four mattresses, four pairs of hobbit slippers, vessels of cold and hot water just waiting for the hobbits in the guest room. Tom says he was waiting for them.

    "Farmer Maggot, whom he seemed to regard as a person of more importance than they had imagined. 'There's earth under his old feet, and clay on his fingers; wisdom in his bones, and both his eyes are open,' said Tom. It was also clear that Tom had dealings with the Elves, and it seemed that in some fashion, news had reached him from Gildor concerning the flight of Frodo."

    Our zeitgeist and its need for big, epic heroes, and its intolerance of quirkiness and things that are uncool.

    Whether the morning and evening of one day or of many days had passed Frodo could not tell. He did not feel either hungry or tired, only filled with wonder.

    'Who are you, Master?' he asked. 'Eh, what?' said Tom sitting up, and his eyes glinting in the gloom. 'Don't you know my name yet? That's the only answer. Tell me, who are you, alone, yourself and nameless? But you are young and I am old. Eldest, that's what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside.'

    Tom holds up the superweapon of Sauron and laughs at it like it's child's play. And can even make it disappear??? Tom can see invisible Frodo?

    Some stuff from Silmarillion is mentioned like Valar and Maiar and hopefully the slides on the video help. Tom doesn't fit any established category in Middle-Earth.

    Is Tom Bombadil right to be unconcerned with fighting evil?

    Subscriber Portion

    We "solve" who Tom really is (become a subscriber)Tolkien's own words about Tom Bombadil

    Subscriber Questions, fan theories, and tattoo suggestions for Kyle

    The Hobbits' dreams in the house of Tom Bombadil


    Valentine's Day With The Queen Bees Feb 13, 2021
    Show notes

    The Queen Bees, Destiny, Jess, and Chandra, join their blockheaded husbands, Kyle, Ethan, and Dan, for a great Valentine's Party on The Babylon Bee Podcast. They talk about their spouse's annoying habits, tough guys from San Bernardino getting stabbed, and Kyle's thing for feet. In the subscriber portion, they answer questions taken from subscribers and the ladies are subjected to the world-famous Ten Questions!

    Chandra is a different color than Dan

    The horrors of parenting

    Some of the scariest moments of having children

    Why a kid will need a rhino leash

    Relationship Questions

    Spouse's Annoying Habits

    Cultivating desire or repulsion

    Kyle's Thing For Feet

    Fighting is a good thing

    Don't leave your meat trash in the sink

    Tough Guys From San Bernardino

    Patrick is single, ladies

    Subscriber-submitted questions

    Wives Answer The Ten Questions


    Christian Comic, Secret Conservative: Kerri Pomarolli Interview Feb 09, 2021
    Show notes

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Kerri Pomarolli, comedian, actress, author of 6 books, and "out-of-the-closet Christian in Hollywood." Kerri has worked with Jay Leno on the Tonight Show, performing in numerous sketches. She has hosted the Gospel Music Awards and has a Dry Bar Comedy special coming up. Her book Confessions Of A Proverbs 32 Woman has been featured on The Babylon Bee. Topics include Mormon heaven, comedy in the Trump era, and keeping her ex-husband in her garage.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Mormons and heaven

    Jim Bakker story

    Earthquake kits

    Asian babies

    Ancestry

    Being outside of the Liberal bubble

    Confessions about Proverbs 32

    Essential oils

    Married people

    Value of ex-husbands

    Homeschooling

    Healing through prayer

    Honor students

    Organizing moms on Facebook

    Being asked out by a 22 year old dentist

    80s entertainment

    Henry Winkler

    TikTok

    Parler

    Instagram

    Linkedin

    Cobra Kai

    Trump voting

    Mike Lindell having secret information

    Soap opera acting

    Working with Jay Leno

    Being openly conservative in Hollywood

    Having to say no to films

    Wikifeet

    Touring with your ex-husband

    Divorce

    Subscriber Portion

    Roaming the isles of Homegoods

    Steven Wright

    High energy Kyle

    Jonas Brothers

    Casting Crowns

    Amy Grant

    Meeting Kirk Cameron

    Dukes of Hazzard

    Kathy Lee Gifford

    Sean Astin

    Hosting red carpets

    Behind the scenes of The Tonight Show

    Jim Carrey

    Losing the edge in comedy

    Eminem

    Mormonism

    EHarmony

    Future of stand up comedy

    Censorship

    Subtle racism of entertainment

    Hallmark movies

    Smiling under a mask

    10 questions


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 6: A Conspiracy and an Old Forest Feb 06, 2021
    Show notes

    Kyle, Dan, and Jonathan Watson, of TheOneRing.Com, guide you to Crickhollow, where Samwise Gamgee's conspiracy is unmasked, and then on to a spooky ancient forest that tries to kill the hobbits. Then, as Kyle puts it, a "cracked out hobo" comes to rescue them. It's two chapters this week on The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord of the Rings!

    Chapter summaries: Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry make it to the tucked away house in Crickhollow and also meet Fatty who with Merry has been getting the house ready. The three travellers all bathe together and sing (in separate tubs), eat food, and Frodo finds out that his friends have known all along about the conspiracy to get the ring out of the Shire. Their plan is to sneak out through a small gate in the hedge that separates Buckland from the Old Forest. We learn that the Forest is very much alive and at enmity with the "colonizers" of Buckland. The four hobbits going through the Old Forest quickly find the forest against them! Old Man Willow causes the hobbits to fall asleep, traps Merry and Pippin within its cracks, and almost drowns Frodo. A cracked out hobo in the woods comes to their rescue!

    Some questions or themes:

    The fellowship seems to be borne in Chapter 5. Merry and Pippin refuse to let Frodo rush off into danger without them coming too.

    The stouthearted loyalty of the hobbits in their friendship

    The Forest being alive and at enmity and able to react to the trespassers

    Intro to Tom Bombadil

    MAILBAG


    Using The Internet To Make a Christian Movie And Bears Like Techno Feb 05, 2021
    Show notes

    Kyle and Ethan from The Babylon Bee talk about bears crashing a techno jam, spinach is now sending e-mails, and how to generate a Christian movie using the internet. There's weird news, stuff that's good, and glorious hate mail.

    Introduction

    Welcome to the newly revamped Bee Weekly. But first, A clarification on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez article.

    Subscriber Dare

    Weird News

    A mob of left-wing radicals armed with hatchets and knives took over a Washington hotel on Sunday -- wait, the corporate media didn't tell you??-in-wa-on-sunday-the-media-told-you-all-about-it-right

    Bear interrupts DJ's online techno jam

    Hitler's toilet seat is going up for auction

    This tech company returned to their office after lockdown to discover the building was now under the control of 20,000 bees!

    Elon Musk's Brain Company Hopes To Make a Cyborg Monkey Play 'Mind Pong'

    Texas accidentally issues Amber Alert for cursed doll Chucky

    Scientists Have Taught Spinach To Send Emails

    STUFF THAT'S GOOD

    Ethan has stuff that's good: Inferno City Firehouse

    Topic of The Week

    Can the internet make a better Christian movie than what is already out there? We generated a Christian movie using the internet.

    Hate Mail

    Lynn says that The Babylon Bee is the laughing stock of all the Republicans in her great area.

    Subscriber Portion

    Can the internet make a better Christian romance film?

    Mailbag

    Rush liked our interview with James White and is praying for Ethan.

    Subscriber Headlines of the Week

    Got Any Cool Stories?


    Bear Attacks Destroyed This Libertarian Utopia | Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling Interview Feb 02, 2021
    Show notes

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling, author of A Libertarian Walks Into A Bear, a book about what happened when libertarians took over a small town in New Hampshire with the one goal of dismantling its government and then the bears arrived. Matthew is an award-winning author, longform writer and investigative international journalist based in New England and his work has been featured in the Associated Press and USA Today.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Topics Discussed

    The small world of bear authors

    Axe Cop

    Libertarian Utopia

    Problems with Libertarian utopia

    Bears arrive

    Burying the lead

    People that would move to a Libertarian utopia

    The Libertarian pastor

    New England's history with bears

    Bear vs llama

    Subscriber Portion

    History of utopia's

    Fordlandia

    Epcot

    Matthew's diverse and oddball career before journalism

    Small town journalism

    Ethan story

    Why we need small town journalism

    Vampires in New England

    10 questions

    11th question about reaching out to the other side


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 5: A Short Cut To Mushrooms Jan 30, 2021
    Show notes

    Frodo, Sam, and Pippin continue trekking through the Shire in this week's The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings with Kyle and Dan joined by Jonathan Watson from The One Ring, an online fellowship as well as a place for cool Middle-Earth maps and articles. We discover Farmer Maggot, some black riders, and the shortcut to mushrooms.

    Note: We had to salvage the audio on this episode after running into several separate production issues, but the discussion is good and we hope you still enjoy it.

    Chapter summary: Frodo, Sam, and Pippin make for Bucklebury after spending the night at a wooden hall where they were hosted by the elves led by Gildor Inglorion. Frodo worries about taking his friends into danger or exile. Sam states his loyalty to Frodo no matter what. Frodo and Pippin banter. They decide to stay just off the road so they won't be spotted on the road by Black Riders and cut straight across the country to Bucklebury Ferry bypassing Stock, crossing the Stock-brook and missing the Golden Perch's fine beer. Sam spots a rider behind them at the top of the green bank from where they climbed down right when they start debating going back because of difficult terrain. They hear the Nazgul cries and cut across open ground until they come to more orderly lands and ultimately Farmer Maggot's lands. Frodo is distressed because he was a mushroom thief and terrified of the farmer's dogs. The farmer was just getting his dogs out due to a black rider being suspicious on his lands. He brings them in and feeds them and gives them good ale on tap and gets them to Bucklebury Ferry.

    The banter between Frodo and Pippin.

    Pippin didn't want to leave Frodo any breakfast but Sam insisted.

    "I don't want to answer a sting of questions while I am eating. I want to think!" "Good heavens! At Breakfast?"

    "Short cuts make long delays" "All right!" I will follow you into every bog and ditch! But it is hard! I had counted on passing the Golden Perch at Stock before sundown! The best beer in the Eastfarthing…" "That settles it!' said Frodo. "Short cuts make delays, but inns make longer ones."

    The stout loyalty of Sam

    'If you don't come back, sir, then I shan't, that's certain,' said Sam. 'Don't you leave him! they said to me. Leave him! I said. I never mean to. I am going with him, if he climbs to the Moon; and if any of those Black Riders try to stop him, they'll have Sam Gamgee to reckon with, I said. They laughed.' … way. I know we are going to take a very long road, into darkness; but I know I can't turn back. It isn't to see Elves now, nor dragons, nor mountains, that I want – I don't rightly know what I want: but I have something to do before the end, and it lies ahead, not in the Shire. I must see it through, sir, if you understand me.'

    Special Elf Drink

    "When they came to make their meal, they found that the Elves had filled their bottles with a clear drink, pale golden in colour: it had the scent of a honey made of many flowers, and was wonderfully refreshing. Very soon they were laughing, and snapping their fingers at rain, and at Black Riders. The last few miles, they felt, would soon be behind them."

    They start singing louder and louder and the evil and lonely sounding black riders begin to cry to one another. CREEPY

    Farmer Maggot

    A Black Rider had been asking the Farmer about Baggins right before they showed up. Gives advice to stay in Buckland, not get mixed up with those weird Hobbiton folk like Bilbo and says if the Black Rider comes back, he'll deal with him! They get supper, ale, and a dark ride to the ferry and a basket of mushrooms.MAILBAG

    Lynn asks us to set aside our Jacksonian lenses.

    From David on expected and unexpected parties.

    From Sarah on finding rest for this crazy world in Tolkien.

    For Kyles fixation on Tolkien tattoos, a message from RDeis23.

    From Real Lawyer, Not Rules Lawyer on the cool-as-a-cucumber Gandalf.

    2hokies has an audiobook recommendation.


    Prophecies Fulfilled, GameStop Stonks, Impeaching A Former President | Babylon Bee Weekly Jan 29, 2021
    Show notes

    Kyle and Ethan from The Babylon Bee talk about Gavin Newsom lifting lockdowns, GameStop stonks, and the impeachment of a former president. They also throw down in an epic rap battle and tell you how you can have a zoo name a roach after your ex.

    Introduction

    Kyle and Ethan have a rap battle so you will throw money at them.

    Stuff That's Good

    Kyle likes his trusty Leatherman Rebar.

    Ethan likes his new collection of G.K. Chesterton poems signed by the man himself.

    Weird News

    Zoo offers to name roaches, rats after patrons' ex-lovers

    GoPro camera recovered after six years underwater in Hawaii

    Skier chased by a bear at Romanian resort

    Inventor unveils airbag jeans to protect motorcyclists in crashes

    Oklahoma bill would establish a Bigfoot hunting season

    Toronto woman finds knife-wielding squirrel in the back yard

    Man catches 54 pieces of popcorn in his mouth in one minute

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1 'You Can Reopen Now!' Governor Newsom Shouts At Row Of Abandoned, Dilapidated Buildings

    Story 2 GameStop Announces That Due To Skyrocketing Stock, They Can Now Afford To Pay Up To 25 Cents For Your Used Games

    Story 3 Congress To Retroactively Impeach All Previous Republican Presidents

    Topic of the Week

    https://babylonbee.com/news/another-10-fulfilled-prophecies-from-the-babylon-bee

    Hate Mail

    Richard takes issue with us assuming the fate of the eternal soul of Jeffrey Epstein or making light of hell.

    Subscriber Portion

    Subscriber Update

    Mailbag

    A LOVE MAIL from Joseph R. and asking for advice on marriage & purity, and also to dispute Kyle and Dan's ranking of LOTR films.

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Kwame thinks our AOC coverage is bad and we should feel bad.

    Subscriber Headlines of the Week

    Got Any Cool Stories?

    We get an unbelievable update about one of Calvins- you already know which one.


    Apologetics, Debating Atheists, and Church History | Dr. James White Interview Jan 26, 2021
    Show notes

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to James White, best known for debating Atheists, Catholics, and Muslims. He is the host of The Dividing Line Webcast, and Director of Alpha and Omega Ministries. He is the author of more than twenty books and an accomplished debater on subjects ranging from the King James Only controversy, Roman Catholicism, Islam, Calvinism and Mormonism.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Apologetics ministry

    Jeffery Durbin

    Keeping church open during Covid

    Abigail Shrier

    America is heading toward Leftism

    Muslim debates

    Preaching from Luther's pulpit

    Learning from the past

    Islam belief systems

    Start of the King James only controversy

    Greatest gifts to young people before college

    Gale Riplringner cultism

    James' White favorite Bible translation

    Sweater Vest Dialogues

    James White 2nd best selling book

    Grief after death

    Calvinism and the problem of Evil

    Defining Arminianism and Free Will

    Subscriber Portion

    Hanging out with Skillet

    Worse debate stories

    Atheists trying to own James White

    Disasters of debate

    Memes of James White

    Western culture doesn't understand debates

    Youtube debates

    G.K. Chesterton eternal destiny

    Roman Catholic question

    Beetle Dung hills

    Why most protestants would agree with Catholics

    10 questions

    Good fight story


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 4: Three's Company Jan 23, 2021
    Show notes

    From the heart of the Shire, through the depths of Moria, to the ends of Middle-Earth, it's The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings! In this episode of The Babylon Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan are joined by Jonathan Watson, creator alongside his two friends of TheOneRing.Com, which can also be followed on Facebook. Kyle, Dan, and Jon continue their fellowship in reading through The Fellowship of the Ring, this time in Chapter 3 Three's Company, where three hobbits encounter black riders and elves in their very own Shire.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    The story so far: The Shadow of the past summary- Gandalf has told Frodo all about The Ring and that he is no longer safe in the Shire. Samwise is recruited to accompany Frodo.

    In this chapter:

    Frodo has to slip out of the Shire unnoticed so he hatches a plan of pretending to move to a new house in Crickhollow beyond/near Buckland where his Brandybuck side lives while the plan is really to make for Rivendell.

    Plans to leave on his 50th birthday

    Life lesson: "What is to be my quest? Bilbo went to find a treasure, there and back again; but I go to lose one, and not return, as far as I can see.' 'But you cannot see very far,' said Gandalf.

    Something spooks Gandalf who leaves suddenly to try to get news/ he tells Frodo to not use the ring! He promises to be back in time for the birthday party and to set off with Frodo (this does not happen- dang wizards).

    Frodo's wine is not included in the sale of Bag End to the dreaded S.-B.s. and does not offer her any tea when Lobelia comes with an inventory list.

    Frodo leaves for a leisurely night hike to set out with Sam and Pippin and hears unpleasant voice asking about him at the Gamgees. They get their packs and Sam says farewell to the beer barrel in the cellar.

    Sam's character: 'I am sure you have given me all the heaviest stuff,' said Frodo. 'I pity snails, and all that carry their homes on their backs.' 'I could take a lot more yet, sir. My packet is quite light,' said Sam stoutly and untruthfully.

    They walk, encamp, banter, eat, walk, eat, walk on a southern side road running through hill country eastward when they hear hooves coming up behind them. Frodo wants them to hide and "curiosity or some other feeling was struggling with his desire to hide." The rider seems to have an invisible nose and is using it to smell for someone. They begin traveling alongside the road a stone's throw to avoid detection.

    They encounter a rider again and then run into the elves who take them to a wood hall. Gildor!

    The Black riders are scared of the elves.

    The hobbits see the distinction between the Black Riders and the Elves.

    What is the significance of the songs they sing in this chapter?

    Gildor offers protection for the hobbits and is impressed with Frodo, naming him "Elf Friend." Gildor tells Frodo and the hobbits to carry on without Gandalf and to avoid the black riders.

    Gildor tells the hobbits that he'll send word to any other allies about his journey, although Frodo will discover that the elves are increasingly leaving Middle Earth.

    The Babylon Bee Reads LOTR Inn & Pub

    MAILBO BAGGINS

    We receive powerful testimony the brings up question about what money is used in the Shire

    On Fairy Stories and Eucatastrophe.

    The Will of the Ring.


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