The Babylon Bee

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Not My President And Skynet Can Do Whatever It Wants Jan 22, 2021

Show notes

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's biggest stories like Skynet being a private company so their Terminator robots can do whatever they want to you, Democratic states are suddenly following the science on lockdowns, and how the right is learning from the left's past four years on how to cope when they feel like the president is not their president. There's weird news, glorious hate mail, and Kyle can't say the word "dang."

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

Introduction

Kyle can't say 'dang.'

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes C.S. Lewis' Abolition of Man

Ethan likes Run, Hide, Fight from The Daily Wire Run Hide Fight Trailer

Dallas Sonnier Interview with Ben Shapiro

Weird News

New wristband the 'Moodbeam' tells your boss if you are unhappy

Joe Exotic had a limo parked outside his prison, along with hair, makeup, and wardrobe people on standby, in case Trump pardoned him which never happened.

Link

A California man was arrested Saturday and accused of hiding in a restricted area of Chicago's O'Hare International Airport for three months.

Stefan Thomas, of San Francisco, says he has made peace with forgetting his Bitcoin password that would turn him into a multimillionaire.

Thomas, who recently was featured in The New York Times, has about $220 million worth of Bitcoin locked away on a hard drive that will erase its data after 10 password attempts.

A New Guinness World Record!

Musician plays box drum for over 25 hours for new Guinness record

Amazon removes 'distasteful' coronavirus masks from sale.

Stories of the Week

Story 1: 'Skynet Is A Private Company, They Can Do What They Want,' Says Man Getting Curb-Stomped By Terminator

Summary: Local man Karl Langler argued that Skynet is a private company and can do what they want as a Terminator T-800 curb-stomped him and then vaporized him with a plasma rifle. "Listen, I hear people actually complaining that this is somehow a human rights violation. But only the government can violate your first amendment rights. Skynet is the creation of Cyberdyne systems and is a private company. They have the freedom to do whatever they want with their own platform."

Story 2: Democrat States Follow The Science By Doing What Florida Did Back In May

Summary: Democrat-run states are now calling on the nation to follow the science by doing what Florida did back in May: don't do lockdowns.

Story 3: Republican Starting To Think Trump Might Not Pull Off A Last-Minute 4D Chess Move

Summary: Local Republican man Edward Chasney admitted Wednesday that he's starting to worry Trump might not actually pull off a last-minute 4D chess move to win the election.

Topic of the Week: How to cope with life under a president you find hard to accept

Put on a neon vest and shriek at the sky

Accuse him of colluding with a foreign adversary with no evidence while sleeping with a Chinese spy

Impeach him at least 3 times, even on the final week of his presidency - why not go for four

Riot in every major city, set fires, and loot for weeks on end for like 6 months - but whatever you do DO NOT riot at the capitol

Make every Late Night joke some variation of 'your president bad'

Have all comedians stop doing comedy and instead spend every waking minute tweeting at the president with some sort of expletive-laden Braveheart speech

Immediately assume half the country is secretly Nazis

When dining out, scream at all the other diners that we now live under a dictator between bites

Take 12 months worth of hormonal birth control at once and scream into your camera

Get a permanent face mask with stay 6 feet away printed on it

Keep all of your friends and family that agree with you close enough to hear the echo in the room

Make sure to do a deep dive into every actor and musician's Twitter history to make sure they align perfectly with your views. If not, cancel them.

Don't forget to embrace diversity as long as everyone still sees things exactly as you do

Keep the news on 24 hours a day and never leave the house. Always be on Twitter and your phone. Make sure you know everything the president is doing at all times.

Weep uncontrollably until 2024

Hate Mail

Judith seems to think we are racist and don't understand the Calvinism/Arminianism debate, and doesn't appreciate the Biden color chart for covid relief calculations.

Subscriber Portion

Behind the Scenes Update

Bonus Hate Mail

Updates to the podcast

Headline Forum Highlights

Got any cool stories

Dustin Nickerson Interview: Former Youth Pastor/Current Stand Up Comic Jan 19, 2021

Show notes

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to comedian Dustin Nickerson who hails from Seattle, but suffers in Southern California. Dustin was married at 19 and 15 years later has 3 kids, so he has plenty of insight on parenting, marriage, and being generally annoyed by people. Dustin has a new special on Amazon called OVERWHELMED. Topics covered are Dustin's start in stand up, new lockdowns, and working as a youth pastor.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Topic Discussed

Starting a stand up comedy career

Favorite Bee article

Political comedy

Ethan's connection to Dustin

Living in Seattle

Chaz

Moving to San Diego

2nd round of lockdowns

Secrets of a happy marriage

Coos Bay

Working as a youth pastor

Comedy for Christian crowds

Bad stand up gigs

Laughing at both sides of politics

Golfing with Larry the Cable Guy

Subscriber Portion

Keurig of furniture

Roast of the subscriber lounge

Bad segways

College gigs

Facebook trolling

Comedy on the internet

Mark Driscoll

Being too insignificant to get fired

Disdain for celebrity Pastors

Appreciation of stand-up

Brad Garrett stories

10 questions

Alter Call

The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 3: The One Ring And The Shadow Jan 16, 2021

Show notes

From the heart of the Shire, through the depths of Moria, to the ends of Middle-Earth, it's The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings! In this episode of The Babylon Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan are joined by Jonathan Watson, creator alongside his two friends of TheOneRing.Com, which can also be followed on Facebook. Kyle, Dan, and Jon are on a quest to joyfully dig through Chapter 2, The Shadow Of The Past, which gives us plenty of exposition about the one ring, the stirring forces of evil in Middle-Earth and explains why Frodo is no longer safe in the Shire.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

Chapter 2 - The Shadow of the Past

Frodo is an oddity like Bilbo was and becomes restless.

He continues celebrating Bilbo's birthday and shows signs of 'good preservation' even as he approaches age 50 the same age when Bilbo left on his journey.

Tolkien is telling history before it happens (the developing of his myth like Mad Baggins)

We hear about his close friends... Fredegar Bolder and Folco Boffin are mentioned but Merry and Pippin are closest and are anxious about him as Frodo takes to taking long walks farther away from home in the hills under the stars and becoming obsessed with maps and dreaming of mountains he has never seen before. "The old paths seemed too well-trodden"

Frodo is seeing the elves going west as they leave M-E for good. And dwarves are coming west to the Blue Mountains. They provide a lot of news from outside the Shire...

Ominous tidings.

"They were troubled, and some spoke in whispers of the Enemy and of the Land of Mordor." the evil power in Mirkwood had been driven out by the White Council only to reappear in greater strength in the old strongholds of Mordor. The Dark Tower had been rebuilt, it was said. From there the power was spreading far and wide, and away far east and south there were wars and growing fear. Orcs were multiplying again in the mountains. Trolls were abroad, no longer dull-witted, but cunning and armed with dreadful weapons. And there were murmured hints of creatures more terrible than all these, but they had no name."

Gandalf hasn't been seen for 9 years, after a time of coming and going and being concerned about Frodo's health (what does he suspect?), and just as well since the people of the Shire suspect he had something to do with Bilbo going mad and disappearing

"'I wish it need not have happened in my time,' said Frodo.

'So do I,' said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.'"

The discussion of the fall and corruption of Smeagol and a discussion on the pity of Bilbo.

The depiction of Sméagol not being wholly ruined.

A discussion of fate in The Lord of the Rings: Bilbo was meant to find the ring and Frodo was meant to have it. Wills of secondary agents.Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it. And he is bound up with the fate of the Ring. My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many – yours not least.

We get introduced to Samwise Gamgee w/ the convo at The Green Dragon at Bywater!! (He believes in "fairies" or at least dragons and ents)

Has a love for elves and has a childlike wonder about the world nurtured by Bilbo's stories.

"I dare say there's more truth in some of them than you reckon."

G.K. Chesterton wrote about the importance of fairytales as did Lewis and Tolkien… "Fairytales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairytales tell children that dragons can be killed."

Frodo seems to have some trust issues with Gandalf.

You say the ring is dangerous, far more dangerous than I guess.

It would overcome anyone of mortal race. The ring would possess the possessor

'A mortal, Frodo, who keeps one of the Great Rings, does not die, but he does not grow or obtain more life, he merely continues, until at last every minute is a weariness. And if he often uses the Ring to make himself invisible, he fades: he becomes in the end invisible permanently, walks in the twilight under the eye of the Dark Power that rules the Rings. Yes, sooner or later – later, if he is strong or well-meaning to begin with, but neither strength nor good purpose will last – sooner or later the Dark Power will devour him.'

The ring can also shrink or expand at will to slip of a finger if it wanted.

Gandalf began to think something odd about it right when Bilbo found it and lied about winning the ring from Gollum. He talks about Saruman and whether Bible will be harmed. He voluntarily gave up the ring!

Among the Wise I am the only one that goes in for hobbit-lore: an obscure branch of knowledge, but full of surprises. Soft as butter they can be, and yet sometimes as tough as old tree roots.

Greatness vs Morality

Subscriber Portion

Mail-bo Baggins!

Jonathan's take on the Movie adaptations

Movie Differences

Pro-Trump Manatees, Arminian Riots, and Big Tech Censorship Jan 15, 2021

Show notes

This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 1/15/2021.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's biggest stories like how Arminians are storming the gates of Heaven to protest election, wild manatees are suddenly coming out in a strong show of support for Donald Trump, and censorship is hitting anyone to the right of Stalin thanks to "Big T." Kyle's favorite bird to pronounce eats an alligator, samosas fly into space, and the squirrels are up to something! It's another The Babylon Bee news show!

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Introduction

Kyle celebrates his birthday with the California Highway Patrol.

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes Pete Vik's Hope and Light & Darkness.

Ethan likes Gran Torino… again. And The Outlaw Josey Wales. Okay, Clint Eastwood stuff n general.

Weird News

Game warden uses marksmanship to rescue deer with locked antlers

Fulfilled prophecy? Mysterious NYC squirrel attacks rise in Queens neighborhood: Report

Website seeks 'professional binge watcher' to watch Netflix, eat pizza

Samosa sent to 'space' by British eatery crash-lands in France

Scientists Report First Instances of Dwarf Giraffes

Florida manatee has 'TRUMP' etched into its side; officials seek information

Florida bird caught on video swallowing whole alligator

Kyle gets three Guinness World Records since it is his birthday!

Man chops through apples while juggling knives for Guinness record

Siblings Set World Record for the Highest Combined Age, 1042 Years

Athlete does 64 hand-release pushups in one minute for new record

Stories of the Week

Story 1 Arminians Storm God's Throne Room To Protest Election

Summary:A gang of rogue Arminians has broken into God's throne room in order to protest the doctrine of election, sources confirmed Thursday. Hordes of the anti-Calvinist protesters stormed the gates of heaven before angels were forced to fall back and barricade the throne room.

"Down with the predestined, sovereign election of God!" cried one man from Florida as he burst into the throne room wearing a buffalo hat. "This whole thing is rigged! Divine interference!"

Arminians were seen scaling the walls of heaven. One managed to hang a "Who is able to resist His will?" banner on the gates of the place, while others busted in and started roaming the streets of gold looking for the Lord's throne room. A few made it in but were instantly killed by being in the presence of the Almighty God, sparking further protests.

There was very little looting, though a few Chick-fil-A sandwiches were taken.

At publishing time, Arminians had suggested the protesters were actually Calvinists disguised as Arminians to make them look bad. Calvinists say there is no proof of this as most of the protesters had neither beards nor smug looks on their faces.

The Real Story: Oh wait, the capitol building got stormed too? The capitol building was stormed, presumably by pro-Trump fanatics who think the 2020 election was rigged.

-A man in a buffalo hat was there and another man walked off with a podium. One man ransacked Nancy Pelosi's office.

-Also, in related news, The Babylon Bee slack channel simply titled #Theology because #ArguingAboutCalvinism was too long, has kicked off with many fiery screeds about free will, election, predestination, and the love of God.

-Imagine if Trump had won, none of this would have happened. this is Antifa at the capitol:

-Antifa leader "Brothers, fret we may, but a fair election has ended and we must accept the results, though they were not in our favor. Lay down your bricks. Remove the vodka soaked rags from your molotov cocktails and drink with me as we accept these results like men. We shall leave the Capitol unmolested, we will don no buffalo garments, for we are not like those savages. Yes, we have a line we will not cross, and this is it." Then they sing an ancient Antifa war song about honor, tragedy, and losing with dignity..

Sad part of the story, in addition to the erosion of our norms and culture, was that a woman Ashli Babbitt was shot dead by the police, several other rioters died from medical emergencies, and a capitol police officer, Brian Sicknick, was killed in the riot at the Capitol.

See also: Our NEW animation about Who Was Really Behind The Attack On The Capitol

Story 2 After Being Kicked Off Social Media, Trump Forced To Go Door To Door And Shout 'RIGGED ELECTION!'

Summary: After being permanently banned from social media, President Trump has been forced to knock on doors across the country, one door at a time. If anyone opens the door, he will shout one of his classic lines such as "RIGGED ELECTION!" or "Hillary is a loser! SAD!" at them before moving on to the next house.

Real Story: Big Tech is going nuts on the censorship front.Donald Trump got suspended from Twitter and Facebook for "inciting a riot"

Twitter's statement said, "After close review of recent Tweets from the @realDonaldTrump account and the context around them — specifically how they are being received and interpreted on and off Twitter — we have permanently suspended the account due to the risk of further incitement of violence."

Amazon, Apple, and Google got Parler got taken down.

Ron Paul has been blocked from Facebook.

Conservatives, libertarians and otherwise non-woke people seem to be shedding followers on Twitter and also 70,000 Q accounts are being booted en masse.

Conservatives have been quick to point out the double standards and hypocrisy of social media companies letting leftist incitements to violence stay and slamming the hammer down on conservatives.

Revealing CNN article: Defiant Trump denounces violence but takes no responsibility for inciting deadly riot

Twitter blog about Trump tweets

Story 3 Biden Unveils Skin Color Chart To Determine Who Gets Federal Aid

Summary: President-elect Joe Biden gave a press briefing from the basement of his Wilmington mansion announcing that his incoming administration will be utilizing an innovative skin color chart to determine who is the priority in receiving their share of the $900 billion federal coronavirus aid package recently passed by Congress.

"Our priority will be black, Latino, Asian, and Native American-owned small businesses, women-owned businesses (real quote)," Biden informed the nation. "We are sending out a new color chart to all agencies involved to make sure there is no malarkey…"

Experts praised the administration's new color chart as being very unambiguous, black-and-white even, on who the government was going to help and not help.

Real Story: From Joe Biden's website "To address the racial wealth gap, the opportunity gap, and the jobs gap for Black and Brown people, Biden will launch a historic effort to empower small business creation and expansion in economically disadvantaged areas – and particularly for Black-, Latino-, AAPI-, and Native American-owned businesses."

Joe Biden Website

Washington Post Article On Joe Biden Small Business Plan

Joe Biden's reported nominee for head of DOJ, Kristen Clarke said back in her Harvard days, "Melanin endows Blacks with greater mental, physical and spiritual abilities — something which cannot be measured based on Eurocentric standards."

Topic of the Week:

Big Tech Censorship, what is the role of social media?

-Libertarian private property trumps all so a private company can just do what it wants?

-Federal Section 230 protections protect social media companies as being considered platforms instead of publishers- is that cool?

-Jack was gloating about Parler being taken down.

-Are we heading to a place where conservatives have to make their own phones, own networks, own web providers, own banks?

They made their own, Parler, and it got taken down by Amazon, Google, and Apple.

GoDaddy took away the domain registration for a gun forum AR-15.com

Big megacorporations like AMEX, AMAZON, Marriot, Commerce Bank, Dow, Hallmark, Blue Cross, Charles Shwab, their PACs are cutting off donations to 147 Republicans who supported efforts against certifying the election results.

At least three banks are cutting off ties from Trump. (Signature, Deutsche, and Profession banks)

What are the implications for The Babylon Bee? What threats do we have and why do we need subscribers to support us.

The hypocrisy of Big Tech of what they allow to remain up.

Hate Mail

Will says we are making Christianity look bad again.

Subscriber Portion

Behind the Scenes Update

When this comes out Kyle will be at Winter Bee Con in Michigan.

Mailbag

Jackson Baker sent us a video about how the proposal went and answers some of Ethan's questions like if Kelsey got bored reading the list of tips from the Bee.

Bonus Hate Mail

Doug incites violence we think and maybe thinks we created social media?

Headline Forums

Got Any Cool Stories?

Story Time With Ethan Nicolle

Email us your cool stories!

Abigail Shrier Interview: The Truth Behind Trans Children Jan 12, 2021

Show notes

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Abigail Shrier, a writer for the Wall Street Journal, The Federalist and author of new book Irreversible Damage. In the book she explores the "transgender craze," where in the last few years, there has been an explosion in people identifying as transgender -- especially among biological females now identifying as male. The book was recently banned from Target -- though later reinstated -- after one transgender individual complained on Twitter. Topics include the Transgenderism craze, big tech, and making women a victim class.

Buy her book here: Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

Topics Discussed

Transgenderism craze in society

How Abigail became involved in the debate

Effects of testosterone on women

Social media and Transgender influencers

Using Google to solve everything

Helicopter parenting

Why social media is poison

Embracing ideology instead of religion

Gender clinics

What you can get without a parent's consent in most states

How they are able to teach gender in school without parent's knowledge

Secret identities at school

Teen hysteria

What is the science behind transgenderism?

Doctor's roles

De-transitioning

Big tech

The best thing a dad can do for his daughter

Pride parade in schools

Subscriber Portion

Why this shouldn't be a political issue

Postmodernism, post-truth

Making women a victim class

LGBTQ infighting

Public lies

Biological differences

Feminism

Abigail's book removal from Target

Silence from reviewers

In defense of boyhood and girlhood.

The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 2: A Birthday In The Shire Jan 09, 2021

Show notes

From the heart of the Shire, through the depths of Moria, to the ends of Middle-Earth, it's The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings! In this episode of The Babylon Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan dive into the book, beginning as most books do, in Chapter 1, with A Long Expected Party. There's a birthday party of special magnificence, a place worth fighting for, and a wizard puttering down the road with fireworks. There's something very wrong in Hobbiton though.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

We answer your comments and questions in the subscriber portion.

Episode 2: A Long-Expected Party

Opening line: When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.

The subtle magic of Middle-Earth: Bilbo is 111 years old. Frodo/Bilbo having same birthday. Theme of fate introduced.

The depiction of the Shire -- a foil for the rest of the adventure's rising danger.

The Shire gives us a place worth fighting for.

Gandalf arrives -- we have an instigating event, a catalyst. (Kyle's G rune tattoo mentioned). Fireworks! Such simple pleasures.

Foreshadowing of ill effects of Bilbo's ring and treasure -- and Bilbo's planned trick.

This chapter never managed to hook my older boys, but I wonder if I tried again at their ages -- 12 and 10 -- they would become interested. It's a good hook. I suppose it helps if you've read The Hobbit. This may be the quintessential example of something where the previous book helps but is still absolutely unnecessary to read to understand.

The foreboding ending is perfect: "Frodo saw him to the door. He gave a final wave of his hand, and walked off at a surprising pace; but Frodo thought the old wizard looked unusually bent, almost as if he was carrying a great weight. The evening was closing in, and his cloaked figure quickly vanished into the twilight. Frodo did not see him again for a long time."

Amen, Awomen, And A New Year For Bee Prophecies Jan 08, 2021

Show notes

This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 1/8/2021.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's biggest stories like Biden's new mask womandate, totally healthy dead Cosmopolitan cover girls, and The Babylon Bee's new 100% effective marriage proposal service. The always prophetic Bee writers have made predictions for 2021, there's weird news, and ever-glorious hate mail.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes coffee. He ranks his methods of coffee prep.

Ethan likes BroForce.

Weird News

German pilot makes point with syringe in the sky

Kentucky man goes viral for clearing snowy driveway with flamethrower

UPDATE ON JETPACK MAN: Los Angeles pilot finally captures elusive 'jetpack man' on video

Escaped hamster braves freezing temperatures to get to candy store

Bodybuilder may spend holidays alone after sex-doll wife is 'broken'

Police respond to chickens 'wreaking havoc' at New Jersey McDonald's

UAE chefs bake world's longest line of pies for Guinness record

Story 1: 10 Tips for Proposing to Your Girlfriend: A Love Story!

Summary: Spring is almost here. We think. We're not really sure since we've all been locked inside our homes since last spring. Anyway, now is the time when Ring Before Spring takes over all the Bible colleges and young men start proposing left and right. Some of our readers might be wondering: how should I propose to my girlfriend? We asked love experts like Gary Chapman, our youth pastor, and Joshua Harris, and compiled these ten tips for proposing to your woman.

Real Story: Top ten list in the link. The main thing was to keep number 9 and 10 in there for Jackson Baker to propose to his girlfriend, Kelsey. One of the pictures he sent is below:

Story 2: Biden Promises Nationwide Mask Mandate And Womandate

Summary: In light of recent events, Biden has updated his COVID plan to include not just a mask mandate, but a mask womandate as well. In a prepared statement given to his nurse and posted on Twitter, the completely legitimate and unquestioned president-elect apologized for the sexist language in his plan.

Real story: Hilarity ensued when House Democrats opened up the 117th session of congress with an opening prayer from Rep. Emanuel Cleaver, D-Missouri, minister at the St. James United Methodist Church, a prayer made in the name of "the monotheistic god, Brahma, and god known by many names by many different faiths," which ended with AMEN and A-WOMAN.

Amen is not gendered. It is from Hebrew and means It means "it is so" or "so it be." Amen is derived from the Hebrew āmēn, which means "certainty," "truth," and "verily."

Other ways on which Rep. Cleaver has updated his speech.

Story 3: 'This Is Healthy': Cosmopolitan Features First-Ever Dead Cover Girls

Summary: Yass, slay, queens -- dead queens, that is! Cosmopolitan Magazine is promoting body positivity with the first-ever series of corpse cover models.

The issues feature interviews with and profiles on a dozen dead girls who show how they too can be healthy despite being completely dead.

Real story: Cosmopolitan Magazine is featuring on its cover very overweight women as the picture of health with the main story being '11 women on why wellness doesn't have to be one-size-fits-all."

Topic of the Week: The Babylon Bee's 2021 Prophecies!

Hate Mail

Bryan says we've become too political.

Subscriber Portion

Mailbag from Drew that puts Ethan right to sleep

Bonus Hate Mail

Cool Story From Becky

Headline Forum

Andrew Heaton Interview: Will Be Your Amish Ambassador Jan 05, 2021

Show notes

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to comedian, author, and political satirist Andrew Heaton. Andrew has performed stand up comedy all over the world and hosts two podcasts, one of them featuring Kyle and Ethan. Andrew's two podcasts are titled The Political Orphanage and Alienating the Audience. Kyle and Ethan dive into Andrew's strange Oklahoma upbringing that deals with a Prison rodeo, eating a rattlesnake heart, and having unknown ties to a family cave. While on his journey out of Oklahoma, Andrew worked for a time at congress and tells Kyle and Ethan about how that experience helped shape him to become politically homeless.

Andrew is @MightyHeaton on all social media.

Political Orphanage Podcast

Alienating The Audience

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Topics Discussed

Trouble with sleep

Political labels and comedy

Oklahoma prison rodeo

Rattlesnake derby

Eating rattlesnake hearts

Exploring Caves in Oklahoma

Weiner Dog racing

Dinner with an Amish community

Viking Runestones

Working for Congress

Beer pong with a Congressman

Alienating the Audience

Economics of Dune

Current Political Art is going to age badly

How British politics do it right

Owning a distillery in Scotland

Getting a van stuck in a bog in Scotland

Subscriber Portion

Italian Fire

Cigar smoking

Living in a variety of places

Quarantine in a camper

Legalizing drugs

Underground libertarian drug den

Meeting Vermin Supreme

Yelling at politicians

European Californians

GK Chesterton quote

History Improv

10 Questions

Phil Robertson

Stephen Colbert

Bombing as a comedian

The Babylon Bee New Year's Special 2021 Dec 31, 2020

Show notes

This is the Babylon Bee New Year's Special 2021.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan do a rundown on 2020's biggest and best Babylon Bee stories that gave the world fake news they could trust. They talk about all the big changes at The Babylon Bee and give a behind-the-scenes look into the creative process behind the top ten Bee articles of the year. Even though the year was a crazy one, Kyle and Ethan want to end 2020 with a little Chestertonian awe, wonder, and gratitude.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

The Babylon Bee 2020 In Retrospect

This year, The Babylon Bee:

Got a real studio

Launched video podcasts

Launched animation

Grew tremendously in # of subscribers

We shifted to full-time coronavirus jokes for a while

First annual BeeCon

Got attacked by Facebook, banned by Twitter

Hired more people (it was basically just me and Ethan a year ago)