The Babylon Bee

Latest Episodes:

Sins and Dangerous Croissants Apr 23, 2021

Show notes

On The Babylon Bee Weekly Podcast, Kyle and Ethan are joined by guest host, Pastor Craig Hamilton of Church Two42. They find the strangest of news like the police being called on a woman afraid of a croissant and Twitter censoring James O'Keefe for doing actual reporting. Kyle and Ethan hear about Pastor Craig's fundraiser to build a church that isn't in his front yard and play the game,'Sin or Not Sin, where Pastor Craig lets you know if a well-done steak or jazzercise will be getting you in trouble with the good Lord. As always we end with our everlasting hate mail, this time coming from a YouTube commenter that was most likely wearing a mask when he made his comment.

Intro

Welcome Pastor Craig Hamilton of ChurchTwo42

Coming up next Tuesday is our interview with Zuby!

We read YouTube comments

Weird News

Suspected Drunken Driver Speeds Into School's Mock DUI Demonstration Nearly Striking Students

Tire Slasher Leaves Severed Finger Behind On Woman's Driveway

Breakfast Taco Full Of Crystal Meth Found By TSA Agents At Houston Airport

A Lord of the Rings Online Player Leveled A Hobbit To Level 130 In The Most Hobbit Way Possible: Cooking Pies

Iran Censors Soccer Match Over 100 Times Due To Female Referee

A Woman In Poland Called Animal Control Because Of A Croissant That She Thought Was A Dangerous Animal

Iran Censors Soccer Match Over 100 Times Due To Female Referee

A Woman In Poland Called Animal Control Because Of A Croissant That She Thought Was A Dangerous Animal

James O'Keefe Of Project Veritas Has Been Booted Off Of Twitter, And Now He's Suing For Defamation

The Oregonian Issued A Tweet Assuring Readers That It Was Only A White Guy Who Was Killed By Police So No Need To Riot And Loot

Marvel At This Beast Of A Man As He Grabs A Bobcat Off His Wife, Yeets It Halfway Across His Yard, And Chases It Down With A Gun

Idaho Man Reclaims Guinness Record By Catching 107 Tennis Balls In An Oversized Bucket Placed On His Head

Ask Pastor Craig

Pastor Craig talks about how he started doing church on his driveway.

Help Fundraise Pastor Craigs Church

Donate to Pastor Craig's Church Here

Sin or Not a Sin with Pastor Craig

Hate Mail

Subscriber Portion

Ask Pastor Craig Continued

The Ten Questions

Bonus Hate Mail

Rejected By David Letterman, Accepted By Christ: The John Branyan Interview Apr 20, 2021

Show notes

On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Ethan and Dan talk to stand-up comedian, John Branyan. They talk comedy, frogs, and bad Atheist memes. John Branyan has been doing stand-up comedy for the last 25 years. His 'Shakespeare' version of The Three Little Pigs has been viewed more than a million times on YouTube. He has written his second book titled, Life is Hardy-Har-Hard: How to Use Comedy to Make Your Life Better in which he discusses why we need to laugh more at ourselves when we fall down, especially if a banana peel is involved.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Topics Discussed

Ethan's on drugs and Dan's replaced Kyle

Indiana

Being rejected by David Letterman

Comedy as a weapon and a shield

Why falling down is good

Frogs

Story time with Ethan

The most important topic

Why we need to bring humor into Christianity

Comedy as a shield

Banana peels

Chasing your own hat

Subscriber Portion

Profanity

Paul's choice of words

Bad atheist memes

10 questions

Another great Carman story

Woke Ice Cream and Secret Racism Apr 16, 2021

Show notes

Woke Ice Cream and Secret Racism

This is The Babylon Bee Weekly for the week of April 16, 2021.

Kyle and Ethan talk about the weirdest of news like the Pentagon developing a microchip to detect Covid-19 symptoms before they arise and all the ways you could be a racist and not even know it. After that, they examine how ice cream is trying to dismantle the police and how video games are putting in disabled women as World War 2 soldiers. As always, we end in delicious hate mail that our bold CEO Seth Dillon responded to while swimming in his pool of $100 bills.

Introduction

Kyle and Ethan talk about what's new and what's happened to them lately.

Ethan's glass table broke

Next Tuesday our interview with comedian John Branyan will come out on Tuesday

Buy things from our store, like this shirt

Subscriber Dare

We want to wish a happy birthday to Kristen who listens to us while running.

Kyle will read Stuff That's Good in his Kermit the frog voice.

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes Hoptea! (In his Kermit voice)

Ethan likes Hand Rolled Documentary

Weird News

Groom's Mom Discovers Bride Is Her Long-Lost Daughter On Wedding Day

Two Men Arrested In India For Using Monkeys To Steal Cash From Unsuspecting Victims

Police Bust Mattress Factory Using Discarded Masks Instead Of Cotton To Fill Their Mattresses

Cat Rescued After 18 Days Stuck In Arkansas Tree

Co-Founder Of BLM Just Bought a $1.4 million L.A. "compound" In A Rich, Largely White Neighborhood

David Hogg Drops Pillow Venture He Launched During Spat With Mike Lindell

Steak-Umm Takes Out Neil DeGrasse Tyson AT THE KNEES In Epic Tweet Storm

Chicago Car Thief Participates In Zoom Court Hearing For Stealing A Car From Inside Another Stolen Car

The Pentagon Has Developed A Microchip That Goes Under Your Skin And Can Detect Covid-19 Before Symptoms Arise.

Idaho Man Stacks 34 Bars Of Wet Soap For Guinness World Record

10 Signs You Might Be A Secret Racist

Most Bizarre Companies That Have Gone Woke

Hate Mail

Subscriber Portion

Check out all our cool stuff in the lounge

Love Mail

Bonus Hate Mail

Top Subscriber Headlines of the Week

Battery-Powered Mowers

Satanic Metal Bands For Jesus And Join The Corporate Resistance Apr 09, 2021

Show notes

Kyle and Ethan are joined by standup comedian Trevor Andersen, who viewers may recognize from some of our sketches on YouTube. They talk about Satanic musicians who are or were in the closet of following Jesus and how people who are on the side of every major corporation now think that they are part of the resistance. There's weird news, glorious and salty hate mail, and apparently, Jordan Peterson is Red Skull.

Introduction

Kyle and Ethan are joined by guest host, Trevor Andersen. You may recognize Trevor from our Teacher Union sketch and a few other news desks.

Upcoming Interview

We will have Biola Professor Dr. Thaddeus Williams and Monique Duson of the Center For Biblical Unity! They worked together on a book Confronting Injustice Without Compromising Truth.

Subscriber Dare:

This one comes from Carla Pyle. She wants Kyle, Ethan, and Trevor to make the laughing guy, Patrick, laugh for 60 seconds straight.

Weird News

3D-Printed Cremation Urn Replicates Your Loved One's Head

A Swan Is Terrorizing Homeowners In The UK By Constantly Knocking On People's Front Doors

Man Returns From Shopping Trip To Find 15,000 Bees In His Car

MMA Fighter Loses Finger During Match, Causing First Ever TKO By Detached Finger

French Police On Trail Of International Gang Of Lego Looters

Marvel Releases Captain America Comic With Red Skull Jordan Peterson

Australian Man Beaten Up By Octopus While Swimming At The Beach

Family Kicked Off Of Spirit Airlines Flight For 2-Year-Old Not Wearing Mask

Soviet Version Of Lord Of The Rings Discovered After 30 Years

Tiny Rabbit Is Obsessed With Giant Girlfriend Who's 4 Times His Size

Canadian Boy's 1.02-Inch Baby Tooth Declared A World Record

Jimmy Kimmel stole our joke!

Check out our Be Apart Of The Resistance Sketch

Satanic Metal Bands That Were Actually Closeted Jesus Lovers

Hate Mail

Subscriber Lounge

Trevor bombing story

Bonus Hate Mail

Subscriber Headlines

Reading Mr. Andersen's headlines

Trevor does the 10 questions

The Catholic Rock Star: Bishop Barron Interview Apr 06, 2021

Show notes

This is The Babylon Bee Interview Show.

On The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Bishop Robert Barron. Kyle and Ethan talk with Bishop Barron about wokism, Catholic politicians, and why he loves the Coen Brothers. Bishop Barron with his media company, Word On Fire, engages the culture with videos on movies, music, and evangelization. Bishop Barron's YouTube channel has been growing since starting in 2007 and has become a voice for Catholics in the culture. Bishop Barron has appeared in interviews with Ben Shapiro, Jordan Peterson, Dave Rubin, and many more.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Topics Discussed

Starting Word On Fire

Bad advice for connecting with young people

Engaging the culture creatively

Self inventive culture

Starting with beauty

Chesterton wants more holes in your skull

Religious themes in movies

Affirmative orthodoxy

God is revealing himself through the culture

Private belief vs Public belief

The modern peace treaty

Propose vs imposing

Mario Cuomo

Catholic politicians

How to lead the way in the argument against abortion

Engage the people at a high level

Pope Francis

Libertarianism and Catholicism

Classical Liberalism

Marxism

Subscriber Portion

Chesterton

Bishop Barron as a universalist

Evangelization

Reasonable hope

Catholic teaching on grace

Dare We Hope

Wokeness as the greatest enemy

G.K. Chesterton view on culture

Buffered self

Wokism takes itself too seriously

Cross breaking the circle of the rationalism

Pre-modernism

Top five Popes

10 Questions

Rabbits and Eggs Point To Jesus and Miss Me With Those Devil Shoes Apr 02, 2021

Show notes

This is the Babylon Bee Weekly for the week of 4/2/21.

Kyle and Ethan are joined by good friend Kira Davis, editor-at-large of Red State. They talk about how easter bunnies and dyed chicken eggs clearly point to the life, death, and resurrection of our Lord. Trump crashed a wedding to give a campaign speech, there are devil shoes now, and the squirrels are definitely up to something!

Introduction

Kyle and Ethan and Kira

Interview Show Upcoming

Bishop Barron On the Show This Week

Chesterton, Catholic Movie Reviews, Wokeism, and Catholic Politicians

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes the Snyder Cut

Ethan likes Journey Guitars so much that he does a worship-generated song.

Buy your Journey Guitars here!

Kira likes her short film Minty. It's a short film about Harriet Tubman.

Watch it here.

Subscriber Dare

A big ol' birthday shoutout to Kyle Eckles

Weird News

W oman Rescued After Wandering Through Town's Sewer System For 3 Weeks

The Ever Given Has Been Freed And Is Moving Again After 6 Days Blocking The Suez Canal

Trump Crashes Wedding At Mar-A-Lago And Gives 2-Minute Political Speech Trolling Joe Biden

Rapper Lil Nas X Comes Out With Limited Edition "Satan Shoes" That Include A Drop Of Human Blood

Florida Mom Shows Up To Daughter's School Wearing Boxing Glove, Fights Child, Gets Arrested

Anchorage Costco Customers Say Ravens Are Stealing Their Groceries In The Parking Lot

New Jersey Gym Owners Offer Free Membership To Those Who Don't Get COVID-19 Vaccine

Eastern Australia Experiences 'Monumental' Mouse Plague

California Construction Workers Find 2 People Living In Cave They Were About To Destroy

'Emotional Support' Python Greets Officers During DUI Stop

Drunk Driver 'Hands Themself In' By Crashing Outside Police Station

Squirrel Steals Amazon Package From Porch In Chicago Video

Florida Man Sees 'Avengers: Endgame' 191 Times For Guinness World Record

Check Out The New Elmo Cartoon

Elmo Teaches Some New X Words On Today's Sesame Street!

Origins of Easter

It is a spiritual time of year for people of faith around the world. A time where we remember the life, death, and resurrection of our Lord.

Why An Easter Bunny?

In ancient Mesopotamia and Syria, three thousand years ago, the hare symbolized death and rebirth to these ancient people

Dyeing Easter Eggs

The word 'dye' in it which sounds like 'die.' It reminds us of the suffering and death of our Savior on the cross on Good Friday. Jesus 'Dyed' for our sins.

Hate Mail

Subscriber Lounge

Mailbag

Bonus Hate Mail

Comedic Ghost Stories: The Erica Rhodes Interview Mar 30, 2021

Show notes

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to stand up comedian, Erica Rhodes. They talk about the state of comedy, one line summaries of classic books, and ghost stories. Erica has performed stand up comedy all around the country and has a stand up album, Sad Lemon. She has appeared on Modern Family, New Girl, and many other shows. Erica appears on many podcasts and chooses to subvert expectations by writing on her blog, instead of having her own podcast.

Topics Discussed

Coffee and Mormons

Writing blogs over podcasts

Non-Binary politically

Comedy for a lone wolf

Free thinking has bad connotations

Game stop could be Russians

Blog about father

Erica Rhodes Blog Post

Kyle's origin

Kyle's tattoo

Ghosts

Woody Allen

Erica's mom being oblivious to ghosts

Ethan's ghost story

Kyle's ghost story

Surviving Death

Erica's dad

Subscriber Portion

Ethan's trip to Norway

Bombing story

Hostage situation

Growing up Episcopalian

Fleabag

Ethan and Kyle interviewing skills

Practicing for Gina

Therapy with Erica Rhodes

New York Times Smears The Bee and How To Use Tragedy To Score Political Points Mar 26, 2021

Show notes

Kyle and Ethan talk to The Babylon Bee CEO Seth Dillon about The Bee's recent mention in the New York Times as an example of a far-right site trafficking in misinformation disguised as "satire". Kyle and Ethan talk about how to score political points during a national tragedy, why we can't reach for the stars until we have a progressive tax system, and what not to do at the zoo.

Intro

Ethan Nicolle is on weird drugs

Kyle had car trouble

Weird News

Washington Man Arrested For Allegedly Stealing Slide From Playground, And Mounting It To His Child's Bunk Bed

Police Seize Real Gun Disguised As Nerf Toy In North Carolina Drug Raid

Man Arrested After Taking His Toddler Into An Elephant Enclosure At The San Diego Zoo

This Australian Performer Really Wants You To Call Him By His Preferred Pronouns, Which Are Tree, Treeself

Virginia Police Officer Shot During Attempt To Catch An Escaped Cow

Why Did Bernie Sanders Criticize Elon Musk With This Anti-Space Travel Tweet?

President Trump Building His Own Social Media Platform?

Mike Lindell Free Speech Website

President Biden Fell Down Air Force One Stairs On Friday Before Heading To Georgia…

Southern Minnesota Man Stole $1,250 Worth Of Girl Scout Cookies From Loading Dock

Maine Man's Car Stolen From Police Station While He Was Inside Reporting Suspected Nike Theft

United Airlines Flight Diverted, Man Arrested, After Report Of 'Someone's Ear Being Bit Off'

Taiwanese People Are Changing Their Names To 'Salmon' To Qualify For Free Sushi

Mattress Retail Chain Breaks Record For Tallest Stack Of Mattresses

CEO Seth Dillon On The Line

Seth comments on the New York Times hit piece

The Babylon Bee Guide: 7 Ways To Score Political Points Online After A National Tragedy

Here Are 25 Of The Worst Knee-Jerk Reactions From Woke Twitter Users Who Assumed The CO Shooter Was White

Hate Mail

Janice is ashamed of the Babylon Bee

Subscriber Portion

Bonus Hate Mail

Mailbag

Best Forum Headlines of the week

Depressing Stories

Christian Apologist Canceled By CNN: The Sean McDowell Interview Mar 23, 2021

Show notes

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Sean McDowell. They talk about Purity Culture, the BLM organization, Yoga, and evil G-Rated Disney films. Sean is an author, speaker, and apologetics professor at Biola University. Sean has earned his P.H.D. in Apologetics and Worldview Studies from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He has since used his knowledge to equip the church in apologetics speaking at conferences, schools, and churches nationwide. Sean has authored, co-author or edited over 18 books on various topics in apologetics.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

Topics Discussed

Difference teaching between high school and college students

Chasing Love

Science and faith

Is Christianity good?

Problem with Evil

Beach ball metaphor

Objective standard of ethics

Secular worldview in Christian homes

G rated relativistic worldview

Frozen 2

Pocahontas problem

Matrix vs Saving Private Ryan

CNN interview

Rick Warren's secret library

Sean's father on tolerance

Buzzwords from the Left

Tolerance

Response towards BLM

Discernment towards the BLM organization

Coleman Hughes

How do Christians push for more conversations

Yoga

Purity culture

Questioning phase over rebellious phase

Subscriber Portion

Purity Culture

Critiquing purity culture

Fate of the apostles

Bartolomeu

Peter being crucified upside down

Christian schools

It's For The Kids and National Socialism Mar 19, 2021

Show notes

This is the Bee Weekly 3/19/21.

Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's biggest stories like a man sitting in a pool of bean dip for a good cause, brave teacher's unions literally laying their lives down for the kids, and the entire world becoming national socialists. Ethan talks about losing his dad this week, the guys will do anything for money, and we get sent the best hate mail.

Intro

Kyle and Ethan talk about their weeks. Kyle has been sick as a dog and hasn't been in the office. Ethan talks about losing his dad this week.

Announcement:

The Lord of the Rings podcast will continue behind the paywall starting this Saturday

Subscriber Dare

From Mitchell Ferencevich: Read John 3:16-18 on Podcast in Hawaii Pidgin Bible on YouVersion Bible app. Shout out to his wife Melissa Ferencevich. She's the best wife and mother of 6 and goes by "Proverbs30gunwoman" on Fortnite.

Weird News

These Insane Videos Show What Happens When You Improperly Store A Truckload Of Fireworks In Your House, A Lesson Just Learned By One SoCal Homeowner

Florida School Principal, Daughter Arrested For Allegedly Hacking Student Accounts To Cast Homecoming Votes

Did The Hill Publish A Fake Video Of Biden?

Marvel Is Rolling Out A Gay Captain America

Man Sits In Bean Dip For 24 Hours To Promote California Restaurant

Columbia U. Will Have 6 Separate Graduations Segregated By Race, Income, Sexuality, and Ethnicity. Seriously.

Here It Is: Possibly One Of The Worst Tweet Of All Time.

Website Hiring 'Minecraft' Gardening Consultants For Virtual Landscaping

Cat Trapped In Tree For Over A Week Rescued, Given Spaghetti

Baby Kangaroo Found After Night On The Loose In New York

Loose Ram Chases Ontario Cyclist Down Rural Road