The Art of Charm

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Understanding Oneself: Lessons in Self-Love and Personal Growth w/ Prince EA Apr 10, 2023

Show notes

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

In today’s episode, we cover happiness and fulfillment with Prince Ea. Prince Ea grew up as a shy, introverted kid who discovered conscious hip hop in high school and was inspired to make music to educate others like the rappers he admired did for him. He pursued a career in hip hop but found himself constantly comparing and competing with other artists which led him to question the meaning of happiness. He stopped rapping and began reading books on Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, and psychotherapy to find the answer. He found that happiness is inside all of us and began sharing his insights through poetry and informative content. He continues to be the change he wants to see in the world and helps others find peace in their own lives.

The journey to find fulfillment in life is filled with obstacles and distractions, so what can you do to overcome them, what resources can you use to find happiness and fulfillment, and how can you know who to bring with you on your journey so they don’t hold you back?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What advantages does being shy grant you over people who are extroverted?
How do you avoid the comparison trap of social media so you don’t get lost in beating yourself up over not doing or having enough?

Failure and Self-Criticism – 12:48
How do you view failure so you don’t bogged down when something you create doesn’t have the reception or impact you thought it would?
What can you do to be more patient?

Maximize the Value You Take From Books – 23:06
How do you approach a book to get the most value out of it?
What can you do to unlock your inner confidence and create lasting changes in your life?

Filtering People In and Out of Your Life – 32:28
How do you know who to allow into your life and who to remove from your life?

We explore stories of self-discovery and inner growth, ranging from the importance of self-love to the power of books and the pivotal role of relationships in our lives. We hear about a rapper's journey to finding peace, the value of prioritizing one's own world, and how comparing oneself to others online can lead to a trap. Additionally, we take a closer look at the significance of friendships, how to find a tribe that aligns with our energy, and the role language plays in our relationships. Tune in for insights and tips to cultivate personal growth and create a more fulfilling life.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

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Resources from this Episode

Prince Ea on Instagram

Prince Ea on Twitter

Prince Ea’s website

The Mood Cure: The 4-Step Program to Take Charge of Your Emotions--Today

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The Myth Of Normal & The Trauma We Acquire | Gabor Maté Apr 03, 2023

Show notes

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

In today’s episode, we cover the myth of normal with Gabor Mate. Gabor is a renowned physician and author who has dedicated his life to exploring the themes of health, normality, and mental health. With a background in medicine, Gabor challenges existing norms and values, advocating for a world in which our practices reflect the true needs of individuals and society. He has written a number of books, including his best-selling work The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture, in which he questions traditional ideas of what is normal and challenges readers to think critically about our assumptions.

Modern society is rewarding us for unhealthy behavior and punishing us for healthy behavior, but how did this come to be, how is it affecting you and everyone you care about, and what steps can you take to protect yourself and your loved ones?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the myth of normal?
How has culture become toxic to the human condition?
Why is being nice harmful to your mental health?

Modern culture is destroying parent-child relationships – 15:37
How does modern culture erode a child’s ability to form bonds with their parents and what can you do ensure you have a healthy relationship with your kids?
Why do we feel the need to escape reality and pursue virtual relationships and virtual experiences?

What is trauma? – 25:11
How do we misuse the word “trauma” and how does it lead us to ignore serious problems in our relationships?
What can you do to heal your trauma so it stops harming you and your relationships?

Can we use anger to heal? – 35:40
Why is anger important for self-respect and feeling good about yourself and what is the difference between unhealthy and healthy anger?
What 5 steps can you take to overcome your limiting beliefs so you can unlock your potential and achieve your dreams?

What does it mean to be “normal” in a society where normal behavior seems increasingly harmful to our health and relationships? All the time we spend inside, alone, and on devices is not doing us any favors. But how did this happen? What pushed humans to develop lifestyles that are making us unhappy and unhealthy? It starts with the parents and how we have structured our lives to promote relationships that don’t serve us, discourage healthy expression of our emotions and boundary setting.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Resources from this Episode

The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Mate

Gabor Mate’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Harvard Happiness Study & What it Takes to Be Socially Fit | Dr. Robert Waldinger | AOC Podcast

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Network Building In A Hostile World (Toolbox) Mar 27, 2023

Show notes

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

In today’s episode, we cover how to forge a thriving life with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael.

We are at war with the modern world when it comes to leading lives of satisfaction and fulfillment because technology and society are pushing us to be depressed and isolated, so how do you overcome it, what can you do to build a thriving social life, and how do you determine a mission that keeps you focused and driven?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the key to health, wellness, and success in the modern world?

Navigating daily life, office politics, and media can lead to feeling isolated – 10:23
How is the modern world pushing us to isolate and how do you overcome it so you don’t end up sad and lonely?

How to build a new social circle – 21:11
Where do you start if you want to create an exciting social life?
What do we use to add value to peoples’ lives and enrich the relationships in our lives so people value us and want to spend time with us?
How do you reconnect with old friends?

Define your mission to attract high value connections – 31:32
Why is it important to spend time figuring out one's mission and becoming mission-driven, and how do you figure out what your mission is?
How do you create a high value network so you never worry about being lonely, unemployed, or single?

Building relationships is key to success in many areas, including the workplace, and cannot be replaced by hard work alone. And despite external factors such as nepotism and favoritism playing a role in success, building social capital in the form of value you can add to the relationships in your life is key. This episode offers strategies and frameworks for reconnecting with old relationships that have drifted away, including reaching out and inviting people into one's life. Find and connect with people who share similar goals and mindsets. Tune in to this episode for insights on building momentum in life through a high-value network and community.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Jonah Berger | The Art of Persuasion | AOC Podcast

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Communicate Powerfully Using These Magic Words w/ Jonah Berger Mar 20, 2023

Show notes

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

In today’s episode, we cover magic words and the impact of language with Jonah Berger. Jonah is a Wharton School professor, an expert on natural language processing, influence, and consumer behavior, and is the internationally bestselling author of Magic Words, Contagious, Invisible Influence, and The Catalyst.

Questions are the key to connecting with the people around you, so what kinds of questions should you ask when getting to know someone, what questions should you avoid, and how can you word questions in a way to get people to do what you want them to do?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why are questions so powerful when talking to people?
What kind of question should you ask if you want other people to like you or perceive you better?
What should you say if someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer?

Questions that Push People Out and Pull People In – 14:53
What questions do we ask that put people on the defensive and how do we reword the same questions to get the answers we actually want?
What questions can you ask to turn strangers into friends?
How many questions can you ask before a conversation gets uncomfortable?

Identity and Agency Questions – 26:29
What questions can you ask to motivate people to take the action you want them to take?
How do many of us use self-talk the wrong way and how does it sabotage our goals and dreams?
What is hedging and how does hedging make us seem less confident?

When we use questions as tools, they become powerful. They can build bridges or break them; it's up to us to decide which kind of question we want to use. If you want other people to like you and view you better, the best type of question should be open-ended, positive and interesting. Avoid questions that put people on the defensive and instead choose phrases that invoke thought and curiosity. Asking questions to strangers is a great way to get them interested in knowing more about you and forming new relationships.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Resources from this Episode

Jonah Berger’s website

Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way by Jonah Berger

Jonah Berger | Invisible Influence | AOC Podcast

BetterHelp

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Anger, Compassion, and What It Means To Be Strong | TEDxOlympia

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Prevent Anger from Wrecking Your Relationships w/ Russell Kolts Mar 13, 2023

Show notes

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

In today’s episode, we cover anger and compassion with Russell Kolts, PhD. Russell is Professor of Psychology at Eastern Washington University, an internationally recognized trainer in compassion-focused therapy (CFT), a TedX speaker, and the author of several books on compassion-focused therapy including CFT Made Simple: A Clinician's Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused Therapy and Buddhist Psychology and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: A Clinician's Guide.

Many men struggle with anger, especially today because society condemns the emotion, so what does it mean to express anger in healthy ways vs unhealthy ways, what can you do to manage your anger effectively, and how can you use self-compassion to ensure your anger doesn’t destroy your relationships?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the biggest misconceptions around compassion and why is compassion important to your ability to dominate life with finesse and courage?
Is it bad to use anger as fuel for action and growth?

How to Manage Anger – 12:40
What exercise can you implement today to make sure you don’t blow up at someone you care about the next time they make you angry?

The worst way to resolve conflict – 22:46
How do you handle conflict and arguments when your anger feels overwhelming?
How do you manage shame effectively?
Why is a problem solving approach problematic in relationship conflicts?

Tools for Building Self Compassion – 41:20
What 2 questions can you ask yourself to develop self compassion so you can be as patient and understanding with yourself as you are with the people you care about?

Self compassion doesn’t come naturally, especially for men, but it’s crucial for not allowing anger to control us. Also, it’s important to recognize the difference between using anger for positive things like motivation for taking action or problem solving versus letting anger consume us. It takes awareness, intention, and practice to be able to show the same compassion to yourself as you do the people you care about. When done effectively, showing compassion can transform any kind of hostile situation into something more meaningful, both in relationships you’re part of and in life in general.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Resources from this Episode

Russell Kolts on Twitter

CFT Made Simple: A Clinician's Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused Therapy

Buddhist Psychology and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: A Clinician's Guide

BetterHelp

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Connor Beaton on Instagram

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Facing Your Darkness To Reach Your Full Potential w/ Connor Beaton Mar 06, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover self mastery with Connor Beaton. Connor is the founder of ManTalks, a TEDx speaker, runs a top ranked podcast called ManTalks, and is the author of Men's Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom.

We are facing a crisis of masculinity, so what can we learn from other cultures when it comes to helping and encouraging boys to become responsible and powerful men, why is it important for men to have strong friendships with other men, and what are modern men missing that lead them to fail in relationships?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why are initiation rituals important for men and what price is society paying for not having initiation rituals?
Why do men abuse power and what can we do to prepare our sons so they don’t abuse power when they become men?

Initiation Rituals – 10:56
Why do cultures across the planet use initiation rituals for young boys to enter into manhood?
How does your self-talk hold you back from being the person you want to be and how do you improve it?
Why is it important to have groups solely for men to be men and talk about men’s issues?

Men and Self Development – 26:14
What is the most important thing men should focus on to achieve and maintain their happiness and fulfillment in life?

The Secret to Non-Neediness in Relationships – 40:05
What are men lacking in their lives that lead them to be needy in romantic relationships, causing those relationships to fall apart?

Initiation rituals have been used throughout history to help transition young boys into manhood. These rites of passage can teach us many things, but the most salient theme that remains is the need for men to face failure and powerlessness so as to enter manhood with a strong sense of self and humility. With positive self-talk we can stop ourselves from believing any false disclosures we face and learn how to think positively and productively. It is also important that men find male-only spaces where they can be men and talk about their issues.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Resources from this Episode

Men's Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom by Connor Beaton

Connor Beaton’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Colin and Garrett’s website

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4 Lessons You Can Take From Sales To Improve Your Relationships | Colin Coggins & Garrett Brown Feb 27, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover the unsold mindset with Colin Goggins and Garrett Brown. Colin and Garrett are sales leaders, teachers of the popular USC course Sales Mindset for Entrepreneurs, co-founders of Agency18, keynote speakers and guest lecturers, and the authors of The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell.

Sales can be brutal if you don’t have the right mindset, so what makes the best salespeople so great, what is the one quality you should express in every interaction with a potential customer, and how do you build resilience to push through all the rejection?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What makes for a great salesperson and why don’t the best salespeople consider themselves to be salespeople?

Transformational vs Transactional Sales – 22:10
What is the difference between transformational and transactional sales and which one do customers prefer?
Why is it a strength to be intentionally ignorant when meeting/speaking with customers?
What is the most important quality you can express when interacting with a potential customer?

Rejection and Resiliency – 34:18
What can you do to build resilience in sales so you don’t get hung up on rejection?
What is the difference between toxic positivity and pathological optimism and why is one off putting while the other is necessary to accomplish great things?

Goal Setting – 56:32
How should you view and set goals so they help you rather than hinder you?
How do you find a meaningful purpose in your work when you feel your work is meaningless?

Salespeople are great connectors, and success in sales not only takes hard work but also the right mindset. Building resilience is key to sustaining energy in sales, so techniques like positive self-talk are incredibly important. By setting achievable goals and adopting motivation techniques like vision boards, you’ll be able to tackle any challenges that arise in the workplace. Attitude is everything when it comes to finding purpose and passion in your work; no matter how mundane it may seem, every task can bring joy and meaning if you choose to make it worthwhile.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Resources from this Episode

The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell by Colin Coggins, Garrett Brown

Colin and Garrett on Twitter

Colin and Garrett on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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The Simple Art Of Subtracting To Get More Fulfillment Out Of Life | Leidy Klotz Feb 20, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover the science of subtraction with Leidy Klotz. Leidy studies the science of design, his research has appeared in both Nature and Science, and his book, Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less, was ranked as one of the most influential titles in the fields of design and behavioral science.

As humans, we gravitate toward acquiring things and activities to add value to our lives, but many times we can add value to our lives by removing things from it—why is our biology working against us, how can you determine what to subtract from your life, and how do you get your family, friends, and coworkers on board?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How can you make your life more fulfilling by removing things from your life?
Why does our biology prime us to add things to our life even if those things don’t enrich our lives?

Reduce Distractions to Increase Fulfillment – 16:28
What questions can you ask to determine what you should remove from your life to improve your life?

What pushes you to add unnecessary things to your life – 31:53
What are the forces around you that are always nudging you to add things to your life that end up unnecessarily complicating your life?

Getting people on board with the concept of subtraction – 44:40
What can you say to people to convince them that removing things from their lives will improve their lives?

Many of us go through life without taking the time to analyze what brings value to our lives and what doesn’t. Our biology drives us to seek out things that we think will make us happy but often those things don’t actually bring long-term fulfillment. Consider evaluating what you have in your life and see if there are any areas where you could declutter your life for more contentment, or to free up time to focus on the things that do bring value to your life. When was the last time you took inventory of your life and considered ways you could simplify?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Additional Sponsors:

Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm

Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65

Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm

NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm

Resources from this Episode

Leidy Klotz’s website

Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less by Leidy Klotz

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life

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The Science of Fun and 3 Ways to Add More to Your Life | Mike Rucker Feb 13, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover fun with Mike Rucker. Mike is an organizational psychologist, behavioral scientist, recovering entrepreneur, and the author of The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life.

The pursuit of pleasure has been beaten into us as an unhealthy one by many thought leaders throughout history, but what role do fun and leisure play in increasing our productivity, how can you leverage pleasure to make daily work more enjoyable, and what can you do to create more space in your day for pleasurable activities if you find yourself burning out on work?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How does focusing on happiness lead to rumination and depression?

Hedonic Flexibility Principle – 16:02
What role do fun and leisure play in maximizing productivity and life satisfaction?
How important is it to take a sabbatical periodically to recharge and regain a healthy focus on life and work?

Activity Bundling – 34:03
What can you do to add fun and pleasure to your daily activities to make them more enjoyable and thus encourage you to do them better?

Creating Options for Fun in Your Life – 43:28
What little decisions can you make everyday to make your life more fulfilling?
What simple framework can you use to create space in your life to integrate more fun activities and decrease the number of soul-sucking activities?

It is evident that happiness does not necessarily lie in big accomplishments or major life changes, but rather in the small choices we make each day. When we focus on making those choices fun and enjoyable, we are more likely to stick with them and see lasting results. What are some small decisions you can make today to add a little bit of fun and pleasure to your daily routine?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Additional Sponsors:

Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm

Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65

Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm

NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm

Resources from this Episode

Mike Rucker’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!