The Art of Charm

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374: Simple Pickup (Jesse and Kong) | What 'Pickup' Skills Teach About Value Feb 04, 2015

Show notes

Having pickup skills translates to every part of life. "You've got to just give value to the world without expecting something in return."-Simple Pickup The Cheat Sheet: How is Simple Pickup different than other pickup approaches? What was their "kissing controversy" really all about? How they teach men to create change in their lives: where does the power really lie? What they want to teach you about your ego and how not to be douchebag. How knowing what you don't want can be incredibly valuable. And so much more... If a guy wearing a Harry Potter costume can pick up a girl, so can you. That's one of the messages our guests for today share with their successful business, Simple Pickup. Jesse and Kong join us to talk about why their brand of pickup is different, why it's not what you think and how Simple Pickup's techniques carry over into every aspect of your life. All of that and more on episode 374 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: Jesse and Kong are, by most accounts, fairly ordinary guys. But on their YouTube channel for Simple Pickup they provide tons of entertaining and valuable content on the ever-popular topic of picking up girls. They have several hundred videos on their channel in which they attempt to chat up girls while doing wacky things from dressing up like Harry Potter to rollerskating while wearing a Speedo (and nothing else). While the videos are meant to provide laughs and good fun for everyone, they are also meant to show that regular guys they can pick up girls too. On today's episode we dive into their backgrounds and how their social anxiety played a key role in who they've become today as well as some useful techniques you can implement in your every day life. Both Jesse and Kong were not gregarious and outgoing guys by any stretch. They were painfully shy growing up and into early adulthood. In other words they understand where you may have been and where you might be right now. It's one of the reasons they make their videos silly and playful: to help you loosen up about the idea of chatting up women. Doing so, making yourself laugh and lighten up before doing anything you perceive as "high pressure" like talking to a pretty girl, is one of their suggestions. Whether you want to approach an attractive woman or you're going into an interview for the job of your dreams, they suggest doing something you enjoy and have fun doing to take the pressure off. If you can make yourself laugh you'll help your mind see the "high pressure" situation as much less so. Another suggestion they have on the topic of talking to women is to take baby steps. Start by talking to people in your every day life. Who do you see every day but don't chat with or haven't gotten to know? For example if you have a regular barista you see in the morning ask that person what their favorite drink is and then try it.You'll be surprised by how good it feels to simply talk to strangers, and it'll help your game with the ladies too because you'll be much more versed in the art of creating connection. They give more advice and suggestions on today's show, but they want to be sure to leave you with their motto: Always be giving value, always be having fun! Have a listen to hear all of that and more, then join me in thanking Simple Pickup for being on the show today. And thanks to you for joining us. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS SIMPLE PICKUP! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let the guys of Simple Pickup know by clicking on the link below and sending them a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Simple Pickup on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Simple Pickup web siteSimple Pickup YouTube channelProject Go web site Simple Pickup on TwitterThe Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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373: Isaac Tolpin | Choose Growth Feb 02, 2015

Show notes

Being proactive will keep you successful. "There's no such thing as a balanced life, that's a complete joke! I think it's an integrated life."-Isaac Tolpin The Cheat Sheet: What is positive disruption and why is it important? The questions he asked that took his revenue from $5 million to $10 million. What is productive thinking and what is reproductive thinking? What's one of the biggest mistakes people make when raising their kids? How a racehorse taught him a valuable lesson about choice. And so much more... If we chose growth in the short-term, even if it's uncomfortable, we'll reap the rewards in the long run. Today's guest is a testament to that statement. Isaac Tolpin is the head of two successful and innovative businesses, has a vineyard, is a husband and the father of six kids. We chat about how Isaac's decision to chose growth has led to success in all of these areas, and much more on this edition of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: Isaac Tolpin is an innovator and entrepreneur. His two businesses are at the top of their field, and it isn't by accident. Isaac has chosen growth over complacency, disruption over stagnation. On today's show he shares with us how he does this, the questions he asks himself and the people around him and how he juggles all of his priorities at work and at home. When it comes to choosing growth over staying the same, Isaac believes we can all do this by implementing productive thinking rather than reproductive thinking. Productive thinking is throwing off the existing constraints and reasons why something is the way it currently is. Put those reasons and constraints aside, then start questioning things. Ask yourself: "Why is it the way it is? Why do we do it this way? Is there a better way?" Answering those questions will open up possibilities that didn't exist before. Reproductive thinking, by comparison, is to simply make slight changes and improvements to stay ahead of the curve. Productive thinking changes the curve itself. If you really want to hone your reproductive thinking skill set, get clear on the quality of the questions you're asking yourself about the situation, about your leadership and about the fundamentals of your business. Isaac gives some great examples in today's show of how to do this and how he has done this. Even if we ask those questions and are committed to productive, revolutionary thinking, we can still make poor decisions. According to Isaac we can avoid this by creating an open dialogue with those around us. We have to be willing to ask for feedback, be open to receiving it and implementing it. All of this will help others speak up if they see us going down a bad path. Isaac specifically does this in his own life by finishing his work conversations with the question: how can I be a better leader? He also asks his wife how he can be a better husband. And when they answer him, he takes stock of what they said and then he finds ways to act on their suggestions. Doing so shows them they are valued by him, and in return their respect for him is increased. Although Isaac and I talk about much more on this show including how he stays focused and manages all of his priorities at work and at home, how he choses what to say no to and what to say yes to and, a big one, how to respond to naysayers including specific questions to ask yourself when they criticize your actions. You'll definitely want to hear all of that! After you do, join me in thanking Isaac for being on the show and thank you for joining us. We'll see you next time. THANKS ISAAC TOLPIN! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Isaac know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Isaac on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Isaac Tolpin's web siteChose Growth's web siteThrowing Boulders' web site Isaac Tolpin on TwitterThe Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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372: Wesley Chapman | A Human Project Jan 28, 2015

Show notes

The control we give an experience is on us. "We have two options in life: we can be the victim or the hero."-Wesley Chapman The Cheat Sheet: What was his first entrepreneurial enterprise at the age of 8? Why he was on 25 pills a day until he was 16. What is H cubed and how can you use it in your own life? How comic books inspired him. Why did he meet his biological father at a Toys"R"Us? And so much more... At the age of only seven and a half our guest for this episode was told he would be lucky if he weren't in jail for murder or rape by the time he reached 25. And yet today he is a well-known and successful entrepreneur, husband and father who is helping other youth cope with the same difficulties he experienced as a child and teen. Wesley Chapman is the founder and originator of A Human Project, a for-purpose organization dedicated to helping abandoned, abused and neglected youth get the love and support they deserve. We discuss how vulnerability helped him heal and become not only a survivor of horrific abuse, but a testament to the capacity of the human spirit on this edition of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: Wesley Chapman experienced more horrible events by the age of 16 than most of us do in our entire life. From sexual and mental and physical abuse to abandonment, Wesley experienced all of it as a child. His biological dad abandoned him when he was only a year old and his mom left five and a half years later. A family member took him in when he was eight and he was finally given some stability. As a child and into his teens he was also on many medication to treat the myriad of diagnoses he had been given. From ADD to PTSD to bipolar, he was diagnosed and prescribed something to treat it. Then he needed pills to treat the side effects of those pills, and the side effects of the side effect treatment medicines. All of which took its toll on his health. By the time he was 16 his liver failed and he had two options: get a transplant or hope his liver detoxed in enough time to save his life. His mom took him home, told him how he could detox and initially he resisted. But he turned to prayer and made a deal with God: if he did the detoxification, got off all the pills and God got him through it, Wesley would give to him in return. And it worked: Wesley detoxed, stopped his meds, lived through several days of nightmarish drug withdrawals and came out the other side with more clarity than he had ever had. With that clarity he finally understood he was allowing his abusers, some of whom weren't even in his life any longer, to run the show. He took responsibility, stopped being a victim and decided he wanted to be his own hero. With that honesty, the first of what he now calls his H cubed tool, he could heal his old wounds properly and fully. He understood he couldn't control what happened to him, but he could control how he responded to it. And when he grasped that concept fully he found hope, the last of his H cubed strategy. Wesley is taking his own personal lesson and helping others get honest, heal, and have hope. Though his primary demographic is youth, his programs at A Human Project also apply to adults. He has found immense power in being vulnerable with AHP and audiences in general; he learned how to let go of shame by sharing his story and being transparent in his experiences. He no longer hides what happened to him, and is an open book because he understands how doing so allows other people to work through their own shame, fears, and challenges. Wesley goes into even more detail on this episode, including what it was like when he finally met his biological father and why he does what he does. Please listen and join me in thanking Wesley for his candor, honesty and immense heart. As always, thank you for joining us and we'll see you next time. THANKS WESLEY CHAPMAN! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Wesley know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Wesley on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Wesley Chapman's web siteA Human Project's web site Wesley Chapman on TwitterThe Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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371: Christine Hassler | Expectation Hangover Jan 26, 2015

Show notes

Don't believe every thing you think! "Some of us get wake up calls in a graceful way and some of us need a massive 2x4 to hit us on the head."-Christine Hassler The Cheat Sheet: What is the original definition of passion? What exactly is an expectation hangover, according to Christine? Our unconscious mind runs 90-95% of our programming: true or false? If we change this one thing then we change our results. What is it? Is everything energy? Christine explains. And so much more... Have you known someone who has built a seemingly successful, ideal life and yet is completely miserable? That was the case for our guest on today's episode. Christine Hassler was earning six-figures as Hollywood's youngest female agent who walked away from it all. Today we talk about why she left, how she got the idea for her book Expectation Hangover and specific strategies we can use to change our beliefs and ultimately, our lives. All of that and much more on this edition of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: Christine's drive for success began, she jokes, in the 4th grade when she was bullied and picked on by classmates. She decided then she was going to be somebody one day and would show them! And she did. She became the youngest female agent in Hollywood, by 25 she was making six figures a year, working in a posh Beverly Hills office, had her own assistant and was dating the head of a movie studio and going to The Oscars, Sundance and other red carpet Hollywood-type events. She was living a glamorous life that should've made her happy. But despite all of it she felt miserable inside. And the more miserable she felt, the more she pushed herself to achieve. She thought what so many of us thought: "When I get X, then I'll be happy." But every time she got X, she was even more unhappy and nothing seemed to change that. So she did the only thing she knew how to do: she quit her job and walked away from her successful career. She floundered for the next year, accumulating debt, becoming estranged from her family, being diagnosed with an immune disorder and being left by her fiancee six months before the wedding. She hit rock bottom. She was on her bathroom floor pondering whether or not her life was worth living, if she should even be on Earth any more. As she searched within herself, something told her her life was valuable and had purpose. She was filled with a sense of peace and happiness. Those feelings were enough for her to make a deal; she wasn't religious but she told whatever Higher Power might be out there that she would dedicate her life to helping others. Christine didn't know what that would look like exactly, but a few days later after the bathroom incident, she got the idea for her first book and that set her on a new, equally successful path. On today's show we discuss several topics including what an expectation hangover is, what coping methods we can use that actually work when we're curing our hangover, and how to use release writing to let go of any emotions that don't serve us. According to Christine an expectation hangover is when we have an idea of how we want life to be and we set our plans, our goals to achieve that idea, but life gives us something else. Then we turn to coping mechanisms to help us cure that expectation hangover, and very often these coping methods aren't healthy. Christine shares some healthier ways to deal like asking: "What am I learning from this?" instead of what we usually say which is "Why me?". We can also remember control is just an illusion, and none of us have it! We have free will, influence and choice but we all receive curveballs from life that are out of our control. We can also create better relationships with ourselves and be clear on our expectations of others. Instead of thinking people in our lives can read our minds we can actually create agreements in which all parties are clear. She also goes into detail on how we can recognize our patterns, giving us practical steps to take and she shares the actionable tool of release writing, which allows us to go deep into an emotion and release it in a healthy, positive way so we can create something new where that emotion or belief had been in our minds. There's even more where that wisdom came from so tune in to hear all of it straight from Christine! Then join me in thanking her for being here and as always, thank you for joining us. We'll see you next time. THANKS CHRISTINE HASSLER! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Christine know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Christine on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Christine Hassler's web site Christine Hassler on TwitterThe Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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370: Brad Szollose | Liquid Leadership and Bridging Generational Gaps Jan 23, 2015

Show notes

Baby Boomers and Millennials think in opposite ways. "Millennials are your new customer and your new workforce. They don't think, behave, buy or romance the same."-Brad Szollose The Cheat Sheet: What's the one question to ask when learning a new technology or latest trend? 50% of NASA scientists say the reason they became a NASA scientist was either Star Wars or Star Trek: true or false? In the last 35 years of the top 10 most popular movies how many were sci-fi? And why does that matter? How old is the average TV viewer and why has that changed so drastically with the Millennial generation? What are the three major influences that shaped Millennials? And so much more... It seems like every generation thinks the generation after them is markedly different and is unrelatable. But our guest for today says Millennials really ARE different than any generation before them, and he cites the reasons why and how we can bridge the gap between ourselves and any other generation we're working with. Brad Szollose is the author of Liquid Leadership and an entrepreneur who specializes in understanding how Baby Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials can all work together and get along. We talk about that and much more on episode 370 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: If you're a Baby Boomer or even a Gen Xer you've heard and may have experienced the different working styles of the youngest generation in the workforce today: Millennials. Before you fall into the trap of thinking all Millennials are self-focused and entitled take note of what Brad has to say on the matter. For over 35 years Brad has been an entrepreneur. He was part of the first dot-com company to go public on NASDAQ. He has seen and successfully navigated the behavioral and technological disruptions and changes that have happened during his entrepreneurial career. In fact today he runs a company that helps other companies create bridges among their generation-gap workers. He finds ways to help people connect with each other and work well together, no matter what generation they're from. When looking at the Millennial generation Brad cites the 3 reasons they seem to have developed and now act so markedly different from previous age groups. Those three reasons are: 1. Science fiction became mainstream. Sound crazy? Not really if you think of it like this: Star Wars was the top movie of 1977. Before that, no other film from the genre had quite that level of impact. Star Wars was the first really BIG American film to have a global influence. To add to that, it started a string of popular sci-fi films like Back to the Future, Terminator, etc. Why does that matter? Because in all of these films the hero is a young person using technology to save the day, not adults. So everyone born from 1977 on grew up seeing young people as heroes, heroes who embraced technology and used it to solve problems. 2. Video games came home. Again it may sound off-the-wall until you realize Nintendo game stations in the home weren't commonplace before the late 1970s. But kids who grew up playing video games learned how to multi-task, they learned to take risks and learn as they went. Video games are not about following the rules, they're about risking it all to get great rewards. 3. Child-centered parenting went mainstream. Public schools started teaching child-centered learning, they believed our problems were caused by low self-esteem. Parents started doing the same and began raising their children as part of the household. Kids were no longer there simply to obey their parents, they were there to at least be mentored by, if not befriended by, their parents. When you look at those three reasons it's easy to see why Millennials now walk into a corporate culture and call the boss by his or her first name, why they find the most efficient ways of doing anything and then implement them (typically before getting the boss' approval). You can see why Millennials seem to behave like entrepreneurs, even if they aren't running their own businesses. On today's episode Brad addresses how Millennials can use their natural predisposition to bring value to any corporate culture, while still respecting the people they work with. He gives specific ways Baby Boomers and Gen Xers can better utilize Millennials in their workforce and how to understand their thought processes and actions. Brad shares plenty more on today's show, tune in to hear all of it! Then join me in thanking Brad for being here and as always, thank you for joining us. We'll see you next time. THANKS BRAD SZOLLOSE! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Brad know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Brad on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Brad Szollose's web site Brad Szollose on TwitterLiquid Leadership, Brad's bookThe Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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369: Ben Greenfield | How to Burn Fat Without Exercising Jan 21, 2015

Show notes

You don't have to exercise 4 hours a day. "Any time your body has to venture outside of its homeostatic norm and make micro adjustments it will burn calories."-Ben Greenfield The Cheat Sheet: Why adding a cool shower can help you burn fat. Shivering boosts your metabolism by 300%: true or false? How does wi-fi interfere with your metabolic rate? Can posture and breathing impact how many calories you burn? What is caloric hyper-compensation and why should you know about it? And so much more... Is it really possible to burn fat, without spending half your day at the gym? And do those electrical impulse ab machines you see on infomercials actually work? Here to answer both of those questions and to give us the low-down on how to burn fat without exercising the easiest and healthiest way is Ben Greenfield. Ben and I chat about all of that and more on episode 369 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: If you don't know who Ben is and you missed his previous appearance on The Art of Charm, check it out here. You'll hear who Ben is and the simple ways he helps people achieve their lifestyle goals, beyond the norm of healthy eating and exercise. And one look at Ben and you'll know he practices what he preaches. On today's show Ben and I talk about his biohacking tips and suggestions for how to burn fat during your day, without adding complex exercises or another two hours on to your gym routine. His first tip is to add cooling garments to your regular wardrobe. Don't take one of those ice packs you bought at the pharmacy, they have chemicals in them that can burn your skin. Instead Ben recommends cold packs from Onnit. The link is below the notes. When you wear those during your day your body has to burn more calories to keep you warm and get back to your body's normal temperature of 98.6 degrees. Keep the cold packs on your body for 30-60 minutes a day. Be sure to do some kind of work that isn't too mentally taxing because you will shiver and you will be a bit distracted. You can jack up your metabolism even more by strategically placing the cold packs on areas that have more brown adipose tissue (sometimes called brown fat). Your stomach (if you have some extra fat there) is a good example. A second suggestion he has is to do short bursts of exercise throughout your day, things like pull-ups, air squats, or kettle bells. If you have an office where you can shut the door you can do any of these things. Set a rule that for every 25 minutes of work you'll do 20 push-ups, or something of that nature. If you work in a cubicle and can't have any privacy while working, do 25 air squats in the bathroom stall every time you use it. If you make 4 trips during an entire day you've just done 100 squats. You'll see the difference quickly, just be sure to count your squats silently! Now if we're talking next to no effort, Ben has plenty of suggestions including deep breathing from your diaphragm, sitting upright with proper posture and even the electric ab muscle machines you see on TV. He explains which type of machine you need (EMS, which stand for electrical muscle stimulator) and how even NFL athletes use these, sometimes for their entire work out. Ben gives us TONS more, you'll want to have something handy to jot all this down. Have a listen to get it all on today's show. Then join me in thanking Ben for his second appearance on the show and as always, thank you for being here. We'll see you next time. THANKS BEN GREENFIELD! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Ben know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Ben on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Ben Greenfield's web siteBen's previous visit to The Art of Charm, episode 259 Ben Greenfield on TwitterCoolFatBurnerBen's treadmill/standing desk recommendationsCompex, Ben's EMS recommendation Nature Beat, how Ben monitors his breathing and stress levels KyBounder, the standing mat for standing desks Onnit's sandbagsHyperwear weighted vestTitin Tech shirtPerfect Pullup barThe Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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368: Danny Iny | Engagement From Scratch Jan 19, 2015

Show notes

Extroverts aren't always the best networkers. "Business savvy comes down to being able to sustainably and effectively get done whatever it is you want to get done."-Danny Iny The Cheat Sheet: Can you fake being a good networker? Why not answering your emails promptly will be detrimental to your success. What do skyhooks and cranes have to do with building a network? Danny explains. Creating your Genius Network: what it is and how to do it. The post-it note trick to making you a more effective networker. And so much more... Networking is something we talk about a lot on this show, and for good reason. You can be great at your job, have an amazing skill set and talent but if you aren't developing quality relationships and looking for opportunities to grow yourself, your role or your business you won't succeed. Joining us today to share how his introverted approach to getting ahead and creating engagement from scratch is Danny Iny. Danny is the man behind Firepole Marketing and the author of Engagement From Scratch. We chat about all of that and much more on episode 368 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: A common excuse for not networking is being an introvert. Danny dispels that myth, rather effectively on this show. First he explains what an introvert is, versus an extrovert. An introvert is someone who is drained by being around people. They aren't necessarily shy, they simply don't get energy from being with others. An extrovert, on the other hand, does become energized by being around people. They are the people who want to go to the after party after a great party is over. An introvert will be ready to go home. Danny calls himself an introvert and has learned how to become a great networker regardless. He's learned networking is a skill set that anyone can develop no matter if they are introverted or extroverted. He has found through practice and discipline he can strong, healthy networks. And those are two things that creates a great networker: someone who practices and discipline. Perhaps extroverts are naturally better at networking, but an introvert can become great at it through discipline and practice. Often they will become better than extroverts because they have to work at it, and an extrovert may think they don't. One of the approaches to being a great networker that Danny has learned is to focus on the person in front of you. It may sound cliche but he likens it to building a very large crane. Take the small crane (the person in front of you) and leverage it to build a larger crane. Take that next larger crane and use it to build an even bigger crane, and so on. But before you head off to your next event thinking you need to focus on one person and finding out what they can do for you, Danny reminds us to build that connection and relationship with the intent of finding out what YOU can do for them. You've got to trust the process of connecting and relationship building knowing that what you give comes back to you. You may not see it immediately, you probably won't meet Richard Branson's best bud at your next outing and get an intro to him shortly after, but it will come back. And it usually does come back in spades! Danny and I cover a lot of ground on this episode, including the post-it note trick to becoming a better networker and why getting to know 4 people well at your next event is way more beneficial than getting 12 business cards. Danny also explains how to dig your proverbial well before you're thirsty in a concrete way that you can implement now. Have a listen to get all of that and more from today's show. Big kudos to Danny for joining us and as always, thank you for being here. We'll see you next time. THANKS DANNY INY! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Danny know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Danny on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Danny Iny's web siteCourse Builders Labratory Engagement from Scratch, Danny's book John Corocoran's Contactually video tutorial Contactually Danny Iny on TwitterThe Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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367: Steve Sims | How to Always Get a Yes Jan 16, 2015

Show notes

First you've got to believe you'll get a "yes". "The perfection is in the imperfection."-Steve Sims The Cheat Sheet: How to get anyone to say yes to your request. What is market ugly and how does it work? Creating a win-win scenario: Steve shares how he does it. The three words he says you should live by. How one of his clients became the shortest-term singer in the history of Journey. And so much more... Would you want the Pope to marry you at The Vatican? Or perhaps you've always wanted to have your favorite musician teach you to play guitar (or some other instrument), or some other outlandish dream. There's one man who can make your most incredible dreams come true, his name is Steve Sims. And he joins us to talk about how to always get a yes, how he's built the most elite luxury concierge service in the world, and a heckuva lot more on episode 367 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: For a man who has arguably the most influential and successful connections in the world, Steve Sims' life didn't start with a silver spoon. He's an Irish lad born to an East London construction family with blue collar roots. Initially he wanted to be a stockbroker so he talked his way into that world, and eventually a job in Hong Kong. He began work there on a Tuesday and was fired by the next Saturday. But that led to his work as a doorman at nightclubs where he noticed something curious: the most elite clients weren't just the stuffy old-money crowd, there were a lot of new rich people coming in the doors. Soon he was being asked if he could connect those folks with the fanciest parties, the best hotels, events, etc. Even though he didn't often know how he could make connections for them, he said yes and made it happen! That was 18 years ago and today he heads up a company called Bluefish, a luxury concierge service that provides whatever your heart desires. But Steve never tells anyone he runs a concierge service, he believes what they do is so much more than that. He says he is the person who makes magic happen and if you ask about a few of the events he's helped create for others you'll see why this description is so appropriate. On today's show Steve shares some of his trade secrets, including the 3 ways he communicates for maximum return and how he makes other people happy (which in and of itself is one of his secrets to succeeding in anything). The 3 ways he communicates for maximum return are phoning people, writing letters (handwriting the envelope, even if the letter is typed) and answering people's emails with videos. The personal touch each of these provide show people they matter to him and that he's thinking of them. Steve's three suggestions take just a little bit of effort but they leave a lasting impression and make other people happy. Another way he makes people happy is simply by asking them! For example if a client emails him with a request, he doesn't respond with an email. He picks up the phone and talks with them. He asks them questions about their request, like: Why is this important to you? What could we create to make you so excited you won't sleep the night before this event and will have you talking about it for years to come? With those answers, Steve sets out on his quest to make their experience happy. But he doesn't stop with just his clients happiness, he finds ways to make the people providing the experience for his clients happy as well. He once had a hotelier who was an exceptional resource, Steve discovered this hotelier loved Maroon5 so he had the band autograph a guitar and then gave the guitar to the hotelier. You can bet that is a gift that will be treasured throughout the hotelier's lifetime! Whether or not you run a business and have clients of your own, Steve gives examples and tips to contribute to other people in your life. He also shares many of his stories, including how he got one of his clients to sing four songs with Journey, live on stage! You'll want to listen in to hear all the goods Steve has to share today, there are plenty! Special thanks to Steve for joining us and as always, thank you for being here. We'll see you next time. THANKS STEVE SIMS! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Steve know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Steve on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Steve Sims' web site Steve Sims on TwitterBLUEcause, Steve Sims' charityThe Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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366: Rich Roll | Finding Ultra and Rejecting Middle Age Jan 14, 2015

Show notes

Small, progressive steps create lasting change. "I allowed myself to be imperfect and to fail."-Rich Roll The Cheat Sheet: Are you on The Window Diet? Junk food vegetarianism: what is it? Rich explains the problem with our "hacking" culture. What forges true character? How to master your monkey mind. And so much more... Allowing ourselves to be imperfect, to fail and to ask for help are not widely accepted in our culture, but they are key to creating lasting change and a fulfilling life according to our guest for today's show. Rich Roll is an ultra-athlete, podcaster and the best-selling author of Finding Ultra. Today he joins us to talk about his book, how he overcame addiction, created lasting, healthy habits and changed the mental story he was telling himself. We cover all of those topics, and more on episode 366 of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: Rich Roll is a man who doesn't do anything halfway, he admits to going "all in" when he commits to something and his history proves as much. He was a talented athlete in high school, becoming one of the best swimmers in his state and went on to pursue swimming in college at Stanford. But he went down the rabbit hole of alcohol and drug abuse, sidelining his athletic pursuits and his entire life. At the age of 31 he got sober and began repairing the damage he had done. It took him years to do so, but he eventually got back on track. By 39 he was on the fast track to becoming a partner at his corporate law firm in Los Angeles, he was building his dream home in Malibu Canyon and was a happily married father. On the outside everything looked perfect, but in reality he didn't feel fulfilled. He loved his wife, his family but those were the only bright spots for him. His work and his health were exhausting him, and something needed to be done. His first order of business was simply to experiment. He did a 7-day juice cleanse and gave his body a fresh slate to work with. From there he went vegetarian, and relied on his wife to be a sounding board and guidepost. She'd always been a healthy person so she helped him experiment to find what worked best for him. Originally he just wanted more energy to play with his kids, but Rich doesn't do anything halfway and he went on to become an elite ultra-endurance athlete and health advocate. He doesn't call himself an expert because he doesn't claim to have all the answers, he just shares his journey and his findings on that journey. And we go in-depth on many of those findings, including how to create lasting change and how to stop allowing the story we tell ourselves to run our lives. Rich has created long-term change, in any area of his life, through incremental shifts. He suggests making one change, like buying almond milk instead of cow's milk, and cementing that change before moving on to something else. Small shifts over time create habits, which last. The same holds true with the stories we tell ourselves. If we create a small shift by noticing our self-talk, over time we can become aware of how this self-talk and our own stories are running our lives. With that awareness we can shift out of our "monkey mind" and take the reigns of our own lives, instead of allowing our programming to run us. Rich and I also talk about inspiration vs implementation, what's wrong with our hacking culture and so much more. Have a listen to get all the insights and wisdom Rich has to share on this episode. Thanks to Rich for joining us and as always, thank you for being here. We'll see you next time. THANKS RICH ROLL! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Rich know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Rich on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Rich Roll's web site Finding Ultra, Rich's best-selling book The Rich Roll PodcastRich Roll on TwitterThe Art of Charm bootcamps You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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365: Mark Divine | Six Weeks to SEALfit Jan 12, 2015

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Toughness goes beyond just physical prowess. "We like to go to the challenge before the challenge comes to us."-Mark Divine The Cheat Sheet: Why do 80% of Navy SEAL trainees fail? What's the oldest personal development system known to mankind? When do we grow and learn the most according to Mark? What is kokoro and why is it an important part of his trainings? Confirmation bias and intuition: what are the differences? And so much more... In the US we see our Navy SEALs as the most elite and effectively-trained soldiers of our country. On the show today is a former Navy SEAL Commanderin and honor-man Mark Divine. Today on The Art of Charm Mark talks about how his background led him to develop Sealfit, a live academy and online integrative warrior training program that uses SEAL training methods to help people achieve their fullest potential. All of that and more on episode 365. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: Mark wasn't just an Navy SEAL, he served for 9 years in active duty and 11 years as a reservist. He retired as a Commanderin in 2011 and was named honor-man among his Navy SEAL training class. An honor-man is someone who has shown the highest levels of integrity, leadership and teamwork during their training to become a SEAL. He also holds black belts in several forms of martial arts, is teacher-trained in Ashtanga yoga, and later developed his own yoga style called Warrior Yoga. While all of that may be impressive, it also explains the foundation and where his Sealfit programs stem from. He blends mind and body and teaches people who are interested in this type of training to reach their full warrior potential. Sealfit uses mental, physical, emotional, intuitive and kokoro trainings to achieve this potential. Mark says this training is meant to help the people who participate become honorable people who serve their family, their community and humanity at large. There are a variety of programs available from a 12-month long digital offering called The Unbeatable Mind to a 50-hour non-stop program called Kokoro Camp, it's modeled after Hell Week and is for the elite athletes and pre-special operation forces trainees of the world. There are many different tools used in all of his courses. One of the techniques we talk about in this episode is a breathing technique to control your stress levels. Mark explains it like this: to calm down or stay calm breath in through your nose and exhale through your nose you. What happens when you do that is your breath is stimulating your diaphragm. There is a bundle of nerves there that triggers your parasympathetic nervous system, the counterpart to your sympathetic nervous system which is responsible for your fight, flight or freeze response. Doing something as simple as taking deep breaths in and out of your nose repeatedly will calm your body, thus calming your mind. When your mind and body are calm you can focus more intently and stay alert. You can use this trick anytime you're stressed, it doesn't have to be a life or death situation! Use it before a big interview or before you ask a girl out on a date. Mark gives us another breathing tool to use and also shares his thoughts on intuition and trusting your gut. He tells us about a few examples from his life when he did or didn't trust his instinct, and the consequences. He also explains why the most successful people in the world are the most emotionally developed, and what his programs offer in that vein. It was fascinating to have Mark here and to listen to his stories, his personal experiences and knowledge on how to get the most out of our bodies and minds. Thanks to Mark for joining us and as always, thank you for being here. We'll see you next time. THANKS MARK DIVINE! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Mark know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Mark on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Mark Divine's web siteSealfit on Twitter8 Weeks to Sealfit, Mark Divine's latest book You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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