The Art of Charm

Latest Episodes:

Fan Mail Friday #64 | Paralysis By Analysis May 27, 2016

Show notes

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: You've resolved to make big changes in your life -- but how do you prioritize them or even find a place to start? Is it possible to be oversaturated with good advice? We share more excellent listener advice for making a transition from the military to civilian office life as discussed in Fan Mail Friday #61. Dr. Duana Welch responds to an intellectually curious listener who challenges some scientific assertions she made in her most recent appearance: The Evolution of Love (Episode 509). Jordan further clarifies advice he gave in Fan Mail Friday #60 to the listener who wondered if voluntary virginity was still something worth holding onto. Is it anti-feminist to accept gender roles in courtship (as discussed in our AoC Toolbox for Women episodes? How can you balance spending quality time with a significant other while putting in the 15 hours a day (or more) to start your own business? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-64-paralysis-by-analysis/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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516: Rob Norman | Improvising Now May 26, 2016

Show notes

Rob Norman (@robthenorman), co-host of The Backline podcast and author of Improvising Now, explains how we can use techniques from improvisational theater to conquer everyday life challenges. The Cheat Sheet: Improvisational theater skills go far beyond just helping us think quickly on our feet. In improv, as in all spontaneous life experiences, failure is a possible outcome. Sharpening improv skills gets us not only to overcome our fear of failure, but to learn from it. Learn how the "yes...and" exercise fosters positive interaction, teamwork, and better ideas not only with improv scene partners, but with people in our business and personal lives. Use the Last Line Response exercise in conversation as a powerful way to show that you're paying attention -- and elicit attention in return. No matter how experienced you are at something, confidence is an illusion. It's knowing how to respond when something goes wrong without spoiling that illusion that makes the difference. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/rob-norman-improvising-now-episode-516/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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515: Cal Newport | Deep Work May 24, 2016

Show notes

Cal Newport revisits the show to talk about deep work and how focus can make you not only more productive and effective, but happier and more neurologically healthy. The Cheat Sheet: What's the difference between shallow work and deep work? Why is engaging in deep work so important not only to personal satisfaction, but to your very survival in a ruthless marketplace? Learn how to schedule deep work into your own life. Discover what you can eliminate from your life to make deep work more natural. What the heck does orthogonal mean? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/cal-newport-deep-work-episode-515/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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Minisode Monday #2 | Reading People Quickly May 23, 2016

Show notes

Welcome to the second episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. The Cheat Sheet: How can you start reading people quickly? When observing someone, try to remember more than appearance-based traits. Noticing more than superficial features hones your judgment and makes you more observant in a deeper way. Pay attention to how your favorite writers describe characters -- the good ones will tell you more than what's just on the surface. Challenge: For the next week, put these observations in practice as you interact with people. You'll be surprised at how naturally your radar starts to pick up clues about what makes them tick. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-2-reading-people-quickly/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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Fan Mail Friday #63 | Lady Boner Killer May 20, 2016

Show notes

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: Is there a polite way to snap your friend out of a need for attention from the opposite sex and get them to see they're awesome as they are? Why is it sometimes so hard to stay away from people we clearly know are wrong for us -- like the narcissists Kim Seltzer has discussed on the show before? A relationship seems to be going well until the other party backs out when you set boundaries. Are we supposed to constantly put ourselves out there no matter how many times we get rejected? What are the chances of having a successful relationship with someone who is much older than you? How can you get your otherwise perfect partner to be more vocal in the bedroom? We get some good feedback for advice given regarding how to disclose a history of breast cancer and reconstruction to a new romantic interest in FMF 61. What kind of memories do you hold on to? Next time you find yourself only remembering the negatives, balance it out with positives. Here's Jordan's video: How to Retrain Your Brain to Recognize Positive Outcomes. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-63-lady-boner-killer/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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514: Sam Harris | The Anti-Trump May 19, 2016

Show notes

Sam Harris (@samharrisorg) is a neuroscientist, author, and philosopher; he's also a staunch critic of religion (while being an advocate of mindfulness) who joins the show to discuss some views that -- fair warning -- many may find controversial. The Cheat Sheet: When does stubbornness stop being a virtue and become a confession of intellectual dishonesty? What makes Sam Harris the Anti-Trump? Why do so many people subscribe to the package beliefs of their political parties or religions even when clearly proven scientific facts prove contradictory to these beliefs? If Sam Harris considers himself primarily a philosopher, how did he wind up with a PhD in neuroscience? Why do we lie -- even when we know how destructive it can be? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/sam-harris-anti-trump-episode-514/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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513: Dr. Anders Ericsson | Science of Expertise May 17, 2016

Show notes

Dr. Anders Ericsson (@PeakTheBook) is the expert in finding out what it takes to become an expert. Here, he discusses Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise, his new book co-authored with Robert Pool. The Cheat Sheet: Innate talent is a myth. How can we become amazing at any skill? Learn how to set up a deliberate practice regimen to become more effective at anything you do. Understand why "try differently" is a better solution than "try harder." Contrary to what was once believed, the brain can be rewired to excel toward a specific goal at any age with the proper training. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/dr-anders-ericsson-science-expertise-episode-513/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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Minisode Monday #1 | Taming Negative Emotional Biases May 16, 2016

Show notes

Welcome to the first episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. But don't worry! We'll still present the regular number of full-sized episodes every week, but the schedule will look more like this: Monday -- Minisode Monday Tuesday -- Full-sized episode #1 Wednesday -- Break Thursday -- Full-sized episode #2 Friday -- Fan Mail Friday It's good news; you're getting more in the rotation, and we get to impart something that's maybe five or 10 minutes long -- at most -- that you can apply today. Please let us know what you think in the comments below, at Twitter, or email jordan@theartofcharm.com! The Cheat Sheet: We learn manners via parents and society. So when we travel to the other side of the world, what we consider polite may not fly -- and vice versa. Consider the non-verbal cues you get from others when you breach these manners and how this makes you feel. Understand that, no matter how positive of a person you may be, you have negative emotional biases that affect your levels of anxiety, depression, and self-esteem. What are the consequences of letting negative emotional biases take over our lives? How can we address negative emotional biases in a way that keeps us -- instead of our misconceptions -- in control? Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-1-taming-negative-emotional-biases/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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Fan Mail Friday #62 | Red Flag Dads and Fowl Obstructions May 13, 2016

Show notes

Time for Fan Mail Fridays, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: If men are the gas and women are the brakes (per guest Emily Nagoski in The Art of Charm podcast episode 414), how does this apply in a marriage that fizzles out in the sex department? Are you a better teacher than a performer of a certain skill? What does it say about you when your students constantly surpass your level of expertise? A veteran weighs in to help a fellow brother-in-arms readjust to civilian work life as addressed in Fan Mail Friday #61. [For further reference, here's a link to the Treble Victor Group for ex-servicemen and women who find themselves in the same boat.] Sure, it's a red flag when the father of your significant other calls out of the blue to impugn their character -- but is this really a warning about your partner or just the sanity of a potential future in-law? The only kind of cockblocker you want in your life is the one who keeps you safe from undead chickens during the zombie poultry apocalypse. But what if it's your best friend who may or may not be in love with you? In a recent video we talked about the concept of using emotional filters to our advantage. Now we're going to use them as a persuasion tool in this week's video: How to Change Someone's Mood Deliberately. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-62-red-flag-dads-and-fowl-obstructions/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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512: Linda Carroll | Lasting Love May 11, 2016

Show notes

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda), therapist and author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, revisits the show to discuss how we can maintain strong romantic relationships for years beyond the initial hormones of early love. The Cheat Sheet: Like seasons, tides, and other natural processes, love goes through very distinct, predictable cycles through which we can weather and thrive over the long term with preparation. Romance is based on science, not superstition. Why does falling in love make us crazy? Because we're experiencing the Merge -- the first of these love cycles -- governed by body chemistry (hormones) that intoxicates us to operate outside our "normal" parameters of behavior. The bad news: the Merge -- so named because it elates us with a feeling of unity with another person where our boundaries are merged together -- is temporary. The chemicals wear off. The good news: we can rekindle the chemistry of the Merge with our current partner if we overcome the cycles of Doubt and Denial, Disillusionment, and Decision to reach Wholehearted Love -- instead of engaging in a string of ultimately failing serial relationships to maintain the high of the Merge. Learn how to defend yourself against making poor choices when you're under the influence of the Merge. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/linda-carroll-lasting-love-episode-512/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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