The Art of Charm

Charisma: An Ill-Defined and Ill-Measured Gift

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charisma Toolbox Mar 09, 2020

Show notes

Charisma is not something you are born with, so what can you do to develop your own charisma, what does it even mean to have charisma, and what does the science say about this seemingly abstract human quality?

What to Listen For

What is charisma and why is it important?
What are the three factors that go into being charismatic and what can you do to become more charismatic?
Are you born with charisma or is it something you can teach and learn?
Why are we drawn to charismatic individuals?
How can you stay true to yourself and be charismatic if you don’t feel you’re a charismatic person?
How do presence, enthusiasm, and confidence play a role in your natural charisma?
What questions can you ask yourself to know exactly what to work on to become more charismatic?
Why is active listening integral to being charismatic, and what can you do to improve your ability to listen?
Why are people drawn more toward optimists than pessimists, and how can you become more optimistic?
Why does it make you more charismatic if you don’t care what other people think about you?
What can you do to become more confident?
How does being assertive contribute to your confidence and charisma?

Charisma is one of those human qualities many people refer to as if it’s some mysterious genetic gift a few people are born with. But what if I told you that you can develop your own charisma in the same way you can develop a skill - like painting, running, or even chess. Once you understand the three components that factor into your own charisma, you’ll be able to see just how straightforward it can be to become the most charismatic version of who you want to be.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Is there something interfering with your happiness, or preventing you from achieving your goals? BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist AND you can start communicating in less than 24 hours! Visit betterhelp.com/CHARM to get 10% off your first month and join the over 700,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional.

Whether you’re a professional working at a traditional, home or remote office our new sponsor, Fully, is here to transform your workplace with furniture designed for health, flow and balance. And right now, you can save $50 off the Jarvis standing desk when you visit fully.com/CHARM. Fully—everything you need to make your work flow.

Resources from this Episode

Episode 725 - Boost Your Emotional Intelligence w/ Michael Ventura

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To Handle Awkward Social Interactions with Miki Agrawal Mar 02, 2020

Show notes

Authenticity is a powerful concept because many of us are scared of what other people might think of us if we were to be as weird as we know we are all the time, and consequently many of us hide the fun and interesting bits that make us who we are - so why do we care, why should we stop putting so much emphasis on what we think others want us to be, and what can you do when every social platform is signaling to you that the only parts worth living are the ones that get the most likes?

What to Listen For

What does it mean to be a disruptive innovator?
How do you educate people without being preachy?
What can you do to build up a tolerance for rejection so you don’t miss out on countless opportunities just because you walked away at “no”?
If you have perfectionist tendencies, what can you do to make sure it doesn’t stop you from completing something or just moving on without it?
What can you do if you feel like you are trying to fit yourself into a box that society wants for you rather than what YOU want for you?
What does it mean to be more authentic in today’s world where so many people are encouraged to instead put on a show to get other people’s attention?
How can you flip negative emotions on their heads with one simple trick?
What can you do to encourage others to tell their stories without resorting to 1-2 sentence responses?
How can you ask questions that evoke thoughtful responses instead of 1-2 words?
What mental exercise can you do before any important thing or event you have coming up in your life to make sure you’re genuinely present and relaxed?
What can you do to come across as open and friendly without making people think you’re inviting them to ask you out?
How do you politely reject someone who asks you out, especially in a work environment?
What’s the best way to make a career change when you realize you’re not happy with the job you thought would bring you happiness?
How do you handle the argumentative person who constantly questions others’ beliefs?

What are you supposed to do when people are telling you you should always strive to be genuine while society clearly shows us we’ll be rewarded if we present a curated image of ourselves to everyone on social media? We live in a tricky time with technology developing as quickly as it is. The tools we are inventing are beginning to control us and highlight our weaknesses as human beings, but will we overcome these weaknesses or implode because of them?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Resources from this Episode

Miki Agrawal’s website

Disrupt-Her: A Manifesto for the Modern Woman by Miki Agrawal

Hello Tushy

Be Here Now by Ram Dass

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Overcoming the Five Dysfunctions of a Team

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Leadership in Business with Patrick Lencioni Feb 24, 2020

Show notes

Company culture might conjure silly images of bag chairs and free lunch to some, but company culture is much more than hip amenities and it can break an organization if it’s dysfunctional - so what is a dysfunctional company culture, how do you risk losing your best talent unless you improve it, and is any company too big or too old to change its ways?

What to Listen For

What two areas of business do you need in order to successfully run a business?
What are the 5 dysfunctions of management and what can you do to overcome them to build a world-class company culture people want to work with?
Why is a willingness to be vulnerable and admit when you don’t know something important to developing a healthy company culture?
Is conflict avoidance a good or bad thing in the workplace, and how should you approach disagreements and potential arguments?
What does it mean to be trustworthy in a business environment and how can you identify someone who isn’t trustworthy before their failure becomes your failure?
What should you do after realizing you are bringing dysfunctional behavior to an organization?
What exercises can you do to build trust within your organization, regardless of whether you’re in management or not?
What is the number one job killer for an individual within a business organization and what can you do to solve it without spending a dime?
What three things do people need at work to love going to work every day and how can you provide those three things without
Why is efficiency overrated and effectiveness underrated, and how can a drive for efficiency push out all the people who matter to your organization?
What 3 qualities do you need to be a great team player, and why can missing just one of them lead to a disaster?

Company culture is not about giving your employees more benefits, amenities, or unlimited vacation. Among other things, it is about trusting the people you work with, supporting open and honest communication, recognizing the contributions of others, and leadership/management that embodies healthy conflict resolution and leading by example. Without those things clearly communicated and reinforced from the top down, it’s only a matter of time before people get hired that do not believe in the same ideas, which leads to an organization where managers and leadership taking credit for their teams, people feeling isolated and unappreciated, and everyone looking out for themselves rather than the collective good.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Resources from this Episode

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni

The Motive: Why So Many Leaders Abdicate Their Most Important Responsibilities by Patrick Lencioni

Patrick Lencioni’s Company Website - TableGroup

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Justin Michael Williams website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Meditation To Get Sh!t Done with Justin Michael Williams Feb 17, 2020

Show notes

Meditation and mindfulness have experienced a resurgence in modern western society as people continue struggling to find peace and fulfillment amidst the chaos and materialism of the modern world - so what can meditation teach us about our place in all of this, and how can we incorporate meditation into our daily lives to make us better friends, coworkers, lovers, and humans?

What to Listen For

How long should you meditate?
What does science say about meditation?
What’s the minimum effective dose of meditation?
What time of the day is best for meditating and when should you avoid meditating?
Why is it so important to be clear with yourself about your intentions?
What is the biggest misconception about meditation, especially when it comes to type A personalities?
What is the difference between practicing meditation and practicing mindfulness, and why does it matter?
What is meditation supposed to be about, and what do many people mistakenly think it’s about?
How did meditation first start and how has it evolved over countless human generations?
What does the word “mantra” mean with regards to meditation and why is there such an emphasis placed on having a mantra?
What can you do to develop your own mantra to make your meditation practice more personal, more purposeful, and longer-lasting?
How often should you revisit your mantra to decide whether or not it’s time for a new one?
What questions should you explore when meditating and how can the wrong questions lead you to a negative mental space?

Meditation is not about silencing your mind. Your mind’s sole purpose is to generate thoughts, so to think you can stop your mind from doing the one thing it’s supposed to do is like convincing yourself you can stop your heart from beating and keep living. Meditation is about accepting your thoughts and feelings and then learning to let go of them because they are not you. You experience thoughts and feelings - you are not your thoughts and feelings.

A Word From Our Sponsors

CBD is a big deal right now. It is changing millions of peoples’ lives every day - but is it right for you? Harrelson’s Own was formulated to provide full mind and body benefits that help you feel more stable, calm, focused and collected. If you’re curious, they have a fun and informative video for you to learn more. Text our special discount code CHARM to the number 6-3-5-6-6 and they will send you a link to watch their video AND give you 10% off your purchase!

Resources from this Episode

Stay Woke Give Back Tour

Stay Woke: A Meditation Guide for the Rest of Us by Justin Michael Williams

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Overcoming Fear and Rejection with John Livesay Feb 10, 2020

Show notes

Fear and rejection are natural parts of life, but if you want the most out of life, fear and rejection are two things you will face on a regular path to achieving your dreams - so what can you do to not only accept them but build a positive relationship with both, allowing you to channel their energy for your own forward momentum?

What to Listen For

How do you handle the fear of uncertainty in today’s job market when the economy is changing so rapidly?
What can you do to overcome the fear of rejection we all experience?
What exercise can you implement right now to start putting rejection into perspective and even look at rejection in a positive light?
How can you choose to look at failure so it helps you rather than stopping you from going after the life you want?
What is the difference between a perfectionist and a progressionist, and why can one hinder your success?
How can you break away from humility to tell a story worth sharing?
What are the 4 ways you can use to tell an engaging story people are going to want to give you their attention for?

An average life is average because doing great things is terrifying. That’s not to say an average life can’t be fulfilling, but many people dream of being able to live a life on their own terms. And to build a life where you have everything you want and can spend your time how you want to spend it requires that you put yourself outside of your comfort zone regularly. You must be willing to face your fears and walk through them. You must be willing to get knocked down by life only to get back up again and keep trying. If you want to find your soulmate, statistically you have to meet a lot of people, which means you’re going to be rejected a lot before you find the right one. If you want to find that dream job that allows you to spend your time doing something you love while being paid for it, you’re going to need to try a lot of different things and work for a lot of different people/companies before you find the right fit. You must be willing to try, fail, and try again.

A Word From Our Sponsors

This winter, start a new routine to upgrade your everyday life with a monthly Box of Awesome from Bespoke Post. Bespoke Post sends guys only the best stuff, every month. So whether you’re looking to commemorate an occasion with a champagne saber or toast perfectly aged Winter cocktails - they’ve got you covered. Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at BoxOfAwesome.com and enter the special discount code AOC at checkout.

Resources from this Episode

Better Selling Through Storytelling by John Livesay

The Successful Pitch Podcast hosted by John Livesay

Be The Lifeguard of Your Own Life! | John Livesay | TEDxWilmingtonLive

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Value Driven Success Feb 03, 2020

Show notes

To many of us, the word values can sound like a buzzword thrown around in corporate-speak via emails and quarterly earnings calls - but individual values, once understood, can lead to a future of incredible potential, so what are the values we’re referring to, and what can you do to determine your values so you can live the life you’ve always wanted?

What to Listen For

Why is it important for each of us to determine our individual values, and how does living by those values help you to not make terrible decisions?
How do you choose your values?
What is the problem with goals, and why is the setting of goals not enough?
What questions can you ask yourself to determine some of your basic values?
How do you decide on company values, and why is it important for your company’s success to find employees who share those values?
What are the company values of the Art of Charm?
How did AJ Harbinger determine his values and how have they guided him to success?
Why does more discipline in your life lead to more freedom?
How did Johnny Dzubak determine his values and have they guided him to success?
What exercises can you implement today to track whether or not you are living by your values?

If you don’t choose the script for your life, others will do it for you, and there’s no guarantee the script will be conducive to your happiness and fulfillment in life. Your script is dictated by your values, and you can either decide what your values are and live an intentional life driven by them, or you can live a life that is subject to the values of others. If you choose not to choose and understand your values, it can result in a life of self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, and being used by the people around you who are firm in their values or know how to take advantage of people who don’t stand for anything. So, what do you believe in?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/CHARM. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Is there something interfering with your happiness, or preventing you from achieving your goals? BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist AND you can start communicating in less than 24 hours! Visit betterhelp.com/CHARM to get 10% off your first month and join the over 700,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional.

Resources from this Episode

Great Leaders Have No Rules by Kevin Kruse

Art of Charm Bootcamp

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Daddy Issues on Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Grow Your Social Media with Daddy Issues' Violet Benson Jan 27, 2020

Show notes

People skills are always important, but when it comes to money, fame, and power, it takes some skill and experience to learn who your friends are and know who is getting close to you because they want something from you, so how do you know who you can trust, and what can you do make sure you don’t get taken advantage of?

What to Listen For

What made Violet Benson start the Daddy Issues Instagram account?
What can you do to move on after a relationship falls apart that you feel you’ve totally invested yourself in?
How can you develop confidence and get rid of that nervous energy you feel when doing something for the first time?
What does it even mean to “get to know” more people?
How much can you really know about someone and how do you know when you can trust someone?
What can you do to alleviate tension in conversations with dominant personalities?

Life is not a friendly game. As humans, large groups of us around the world have managed to carve out a relatively friendly existence, but there will always be those we don’t get along with and those who just like to see the world burn. Social skills are the new survival skills - we need them in order to survive in society as well as to get ahead and thrive. And the more we get ahead, the more we need them. Fortunately, social skills are just like any other skill in that they require practice and experience in order to improve them

A Word From Our Sponsors

Bespoke Post - Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com use code AOC at checkout

Resources from this Episode

Violet Benson on Instagram

Too Tired to be Crazy podcast

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Edge: Turning Adversity into Advantage by Laura Huang

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Turning Adversity into Advantage with Laura Huang Jan 20, 2020

Show notes

Adversity has shaped humanity into who we are now - the most dominant and inventive species on this planet - so what can you do to stop looking at adversity as a roadblock and start looking at it as a necessity to becoming who you want to become?

What to Listen For

How can you know when you should trust your gut and when you should trust logic?
What can you do to develop your own sense of intuition?
Why is embarrassment integral to learning and mastery of a skill?
What are the biggest social skills deficits in the workplace today and what should you focus on if you don’t want to lose out on that next job or promotion?
What areas of your life should you focus on if hard work is not enough to get ahead in today’s world?
How do you make your own privilege and create advantages for yourself in life that no one can take away from you?
Why is it so important to think about the intent of a message vs the impact?
What can you do to build advantages against biases people might have toward you?
What is Laura Huang’s EDGE acronym stand for and how can you use it to gain an edge over your competition?
How do you ask questions at a new job without coming across as incompetent?

If we lived in a world without adversity, what challenges would you face to make you a better person mentally, emotionally, and physically? Many of us wish our lives were easy (or easier) but might not realize how important it is to our development that we are challenged on a regular basis. Unless you experience disappointment, how can you learn to set expectations? Unless you lose someone you care about, how can you learn how to cope with loss?

Every time you are faced with adversity, it is an opportunity to learn something about yourself and life. You are the product of billions of years of life facing adversity and adapting to deal with it - there’s no reason it has to stop now that you’re stressed out about a job promotion or exam. Face your challenges head-on, use them to your advantage, and learn from them.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Resources from this Episode

Laura Huang’s website

Laura Huang on LinkedIn

Laura Huang on Instagram

Laura Huang on Facebook

Laura Huang on YouTube

Laura Huang on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To Stop Self-Sabotage with Dr. Judy Ho Jan 13, 2020

Show notes

The tendency to self-sabotage is a part of who we are as humans, but many of us don’t even know when we’re doing it - so what can you do to identify the areas in your life when you tend to self-sabotage and what steps can you take to prevent self-sabotage in the future?

What to Listen For

What is self-sabotage and why do we all do it in some form or another?
How do we self-diagnose our own self-sabotage and what can we do to stop it so it doesn’t damage our relationships or professional career?
Are New Years Resolutions the best way to making changes in our lives, and what should we do if they’re not?
What is the biggest misconception surrounding self-sabotage?
How do we strengthen our willpower so that in times of potential self-sabotage we don’t fail?
What is the L.I.F.E. acronym and how can you use it to identify the areas in your life where you are prone to self-sabotage?
How does social media affect our tendency to self-sabotage and what can you do to prevent it?
Once you identify the triggers that cause you to self-sabotage, what can you do to change them?
What is the difference between diffusing a thought and fusing with one, and why should you try to always avoid one of the two?
How do lofty goals lead people to self-sabotage and how should you approach goal setting in a way that doesn’t lead you to feel like a failure when you don’t achieve your goals?
What can you do to define your values so you can live a fulfilled life?
When you have identified changes you want to make in your life, how do you develop a blueprint for change that you can use to structure and plan the journey to becoming a better version of yourself?
How do you avoid self-sabotage in romantic relationships?
How much time should you spend on self-development?

Self-sabotage is a tendency we have as humans to create problems for ourselves that get in the way of what we want from life. This tendency can be triggered when we find ourselves in a place of uncertainty or fear, so a great place to start in identifying your own self-sabotaging behaviors is to stop and think the next time you find yourself unsure of what to do next or how to solve an issue in your life. Rather than acting instinctively, take some time and think about how you would normally act in that situation and whether that gets you closer to your goals or pushes you away.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Resources from this Episode

Stop Self-Sabotage by Dr. Judy Ho

Dr. Judy Ho on Twitter

Episode 729: Self-esteem is Bullshit with Dr. Steven Hayes

Check in with AJ and Johnny!