The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

The Adult Chair Membership

The Adult Chair Workshop

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/210/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

223: Tragedy and Marriage Transformed - April's Story Aug 13, 2020

Show notes

The Adult Chair is a powerful model for healing our wounds and becoming more empowered in our lives...but it has the power to change more than just ourselves. When we have the tools to navigate life's challenges and respond differently to life, it can change everything around us!

In today's episode, I'm interviewing my friend April, who is sharing how The Adult Chair model helped her walk through one of the most difficult seasons of her life, first transforming her marriage that was in trouble and then almost losing her son in a terrible car accident. Through these uncertain and tragic situations, April found she was able to shift her perspective and not just change her response to life's challenges but also transform her marriage and family. She shares how the model was easy to understand and applicable enough for her and her husband to use together and the surprising peace and clarity she had when she got the call no parent wants to get.

April's practice of busting stories, clinging to truth and being present through life's challenges is hope and inspiration for all of us and a real-life example of how The Adult Chair can be used to help us transform whatever life throws our way.

Listen to discover:

How The Adult Chair helped April and her husband get the breakthrough they were looking for in their marriage
How busting stories and assumptions and connecting with their needs has helped April and her husband cultivate a new connection they didn't think possible
How April stayed grounded and in the moment even in the middle of shock and tragedy
Avoiding the "what ifs" and worst-case scenario thoughts of the Adolescent
How we can teach our children to live in their Adult Chair by modeling it as parents
The power of owning our needs and learning to receive

"It's not uncommon for us both to make up stories and assumptions in our marriage. It's very easy to make up stories about each other (like) 'Oh, he's too busy; he doesn't care.' Or on the other hand, he's thinking 'I'm not worthy; she's not attracted to me.' When really the truth is, I'm exhausted or he's exhausted." - April

"Having a true need and being able to share that with another is such a beautiful, deep way to connect." - Michelle Chalfant

"It's important that we remember it doesn't come naturally right away...but I have found that tools over time do develop." - April

"Your brain wasn't able to go back to the old you, which might have gotten freaked out and panicky, because the neural pathways are very much more now 'Let me go back to fact and truth.'" - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

Episode #210: Improving and Deepening the Connection with Your Partner

Episode #146: Healthy Relationships https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/146-healthy-relationships/

Episode #148: Healthy Relationships Part 2

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/148-healthy-relationships-part-2/

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

The Adult Chair Membership

The Adult Chair Workshop

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

222: Summer Series: Ending Procrastination, Perfectionism and People Pleasing Aug 06, 2020

Show notes

Are you ready to shift out of procrastination, perfectionism and people pleasing? I can't imagine anyone that doesn't have their hand up!

In today's show, we are diving into The Adult Chair model and looking deeper at our "parts." Though this episode focuses on some of these common parts that I hear many of my clients talk about, it really is a crash course in what parts work is and how to start working with your parts on your own, even without therapy!

Things like procrastination, people pleasing and perfectionism are inner unconscious parts that can run the show until we bring them into awareness to transform. Today I am going to show you how to use The Adult Chair model to find and transform your inner parts that are driving you to do things or act in ways that are limiting you.

Listen to discover:

What parts work is
How to identify the dominant parts you want to shift
A step-by-step process for finding these parts, dialoguing with them and transforming them
A real-life example from a client so you can see this process in action

This is full of practical tools and examples that will empower you to work with any part that is causing problems and transform it using the power of your Adult. As always, I have included easy-to-use steps for you to work with this concept today and begin your transformation right away. Get ready for shifts with today's episode!

"If you want to make changes in your outer world, you have to make changes in your inner world." - Michelle Chalfant

"When people say, "I am overwhelmed," "I am a perfectionist," or "I am a procrastinator," that's not true...it's not who you are." - Michelle Chalfant

"Awareness is key to our transformation. If we don't know that we're doing something or showing up in a certain way, how the heck are we supposed to change it?" - Michelle Chalfant

"Do not guess and think you know why or what these parts are going to say or why they're feeling what they're feeling. Go inside of you and ask that part these very pointed questions." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

The Adult Chair Membership

The Adult Chair Workshop

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/212/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

221: Summer Series: Setting Healthy Boundaries Jul 30, 2020

Show notes

Why do people cringe at the suggestion of setting a boundary? So many people respond with, "I don't like confrontation" when I suggest a boundary.

Setting boundaries is tough to do if we were not modeled healthy boundaries growing up. Even if we came from a pretty healthy family, few people grew up with healthy boundary modeling.

In today's show, I talk about what boundaries are, how to set them, examples of healthy versus unhealthy boundaries and the four keys to setting healthy boundaries.

Listen to discover:

The difference between a boundary and a confrontation
Examples of healthy and unhealthy boundaries
Four steps to setting boundaries
What to do when boundaries backfire
What boundaries are not and what to do if you are in a toxic relationship

Boundaries are rooted in our sense of self and come from our internal guidance system. They are a necessary part of our lives and a key to healthy relationships and learning how to speak up for what we want. This show is filled with tools and tips to help you to start better taking care of yourself, learning how to set a simple request and teaching other people how to treat you.

"When I hear people say 'It's not important that I speak up for myself,' or 'I don't need to set a boundary,' I hear 'I'm not that important.'" - Michelle Chalfant

"A boundary is letting another person know what is ok with you and what is not ok with you." - Michelle Chalfant

"If you don't know who you are, what in the world are you defending or setting a boundary against?" - Michelle Chalfant

"Get crystal clear with your wants, your needs and your desires and speak them." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

Episode #212: Boundaries Crash Course

Episode #193: Boundaries in Relationships with Nedra Glover Tawwab

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/193/

Episode #184: Boundaries, Empowerment and Finding Truth

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/184/

Episode #174: Building Self-Esteem

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/174-building-self-esteem/

Episode #173: Am I in a Toxic Relationship?

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/173-am-i-in-a-toxic-relationship/

Episode #160: Boundaries and Defenses

https://theadultchair.com/podcast/160

Episode #80: How Do I Feel My Emotions?

https://theadultchair.com/podcast/80

Episode #26: Boundaries vs. Confrontation

https://theadultchair.com/podcast/26

Self Series

Care/Of

https://takecareof.com/

Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

The Adult Chair Membership

The Adult Chair Workshop

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

http://www.mynashvillecenter.com

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

220: Summer Series: Childhood Wounding in the Enneagram with Ramona Reid Jul 23, 2020

Show notes

By nature, all of us have the Child, Adolescent and Adult parts of ourselves...but these parts can look very different depending on our personality and life experience. Through the lens of the Enneagram, we can understand more about our personality and the ways we show up in stress and in health, and in this episode, Enneagram coach Ramona Reid breaks down how the wounds we received as a child affect our personality later in life.

Our Enneagram type is often influenced by the message we did not hear as a child, and we form a personality or mask to make up for that wound. This might look like trying to be good and perfect, getting big and strong or trying to keep the peace with everyone around us, but it's always an ego response. Ramona does a beautiful job tying the Enneagram into The Adult Chair model and helping each of us understand what our Child, Adolescent and Adult might look like based on our type.

Listen to discover:

The three Enneagram centers and the nine types
The message each type didn't receive as a child and the wounding each type carries
The mask each type creates to cover that wounding
What the core essence (healthy Adult) looks like for each type
How to recognize our triggers and move towards presence

This show was as cool as it was informative! Even if you have never heard of the Enneagram, you will benefit from listening as it will deepen your understanding of your wounding and how you are showing up in the world.

If you want to listen to the other shows that Ramona has been on to deepen your understanding of the Enneagram, see the show notes below. They are all brilliant shows!

"The point is not to never be triggered again. It's to understand that triggers are human and they're mine...I want to learn how to encounter them with more accountability and integrity and love for myself and my inner child." - Ramona Reid

"Everyone's just sort of doing the best they can, and then we internalize that. When we're little, we think, 'This is about me,' and we create separation from our essence." - Ramona Reid

"As children, we are sponges and absorb everything around us...and it becomes ours. It's why you've got to observe everything and pay attention to what's going on inside of you." - Michelle Chalfant

"The work from my perspective is getting in touch with what's actually going on. Notice where our minds are going, where our hearts are going, out of presence...when we're able to be present, that's when our core essential qualities will show up." - Ramona Reid

Resources

Ramona Reid Website

Ramona Reid Radio Show

http://www.holisticrevolution.com

Episode #51: Find Your Authentic Self in the Heart of Your Enneagram

https://theadultchair.com/podcast/51

Episode #114: Deepening The Adult Chair Using the Wisdom of the Enneagram

https://theadultchair.com/podcast/114

Episode #205: Stress and Your Enneagram Type

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/205/

Book: Sacred Enneagram - Christopher L. Heuertz

https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Enneagram-Finding-Unique-Spiritual/dp/0310348277/

The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July!

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/

Use code FREEMEMBER

Inner Child Resource

Self Series

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

The Adult Chair Membership

The Adult Chair Workshop

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

219: Summer Series: Building Self-Esteem Jul 16, 2020

Show notes

We can never have enough self-esteem. So many of us didn't have healthy self-esteem role models growing up, so we are embarking on this journey now. The good news is that it's never too late to learn to love yourself...and it's a life-long journey, so you will have plenty of people along the path with you!

Using The Adult Chair, building healthy self-esteem is not only possible, but it can also happen quickly. In this episode, I'm giving you practical steps for changing how you view and speak to yourself and easy practices you can use to build self-esteem every day.

Listen to discover:

Self-discovery questions you can ask yourself to see how healthy your self-esteem is
Why creating a practice of building self-esteem is so important
The four steps to building self-esteem
How to control your thoughts and shift your self-talk
How to work with your parts and bust the stories that keep you from loving yourself

I will always be working on my self-esteem because I believe it's something we can always have more of! With the help of The Adult Chair model, we can live our lives to the fullest and create happiness we never thought possible. Enjoy your journey of building up your new sense of self and empowerment in your Adult Chair!

"Our thoughts drive our emotions up or down. We need to raise our awareness to our thoughts and watch what's coming in and out of our mouths or in and out of our brains."- Michelle Chalfant

"These parts are not blocking our progress. They simply want and need our attention." - Michelle Chalfant

"If the story you're telling yourself makes you miserable...you have the power to change it." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

5 -Minute Self-Love Meditation

Episode #84: Raising Self-Esteem

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/84-raising-self-esteem/

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July!

Use code FREEMEMBER

Self Series

https://www.greenchef.com/adult80

Green Chef

$80 off your first month + free shipping

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

The Adult Chair Membership

The Adult Chair Workshop

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

218: Summer Series: I'm in a Relationship with a Narcissist Jul 09, 2020

Show notes

Relationships with narcissists are insidious. They begin one way, and over time, very slowly and covertly, they change and become poisonous.

We wake up one day and wonder what we did wrong and how we got here. We blame ourselves and can even feel embarrassed to tell others.

In today's very vulnerable show, Tracy shares her story of being married to a narcissist, how his toxic behaviors subtly increased over time and how it affected her sense of self. After marrying who she thought was a wonderful man, her life drastically changed and she began doubting herself. She fell into a depression, lived with anxiety and lost her sense of who she was.

Tracy walks us through her story of waking up to the abuse and getting out of the relationship. We offer advice for others who are in these types of relationships, including what you can do and how to begin to build yourself back up and find your true self again.

Listen to discover:

How quickly relationships with a narcissist can shift and how confusing they can be
Why subtle abuse is so easy to miss
How narcissists whittle down self-esteem and create self-doubt
Steps you can take to protect yourself or leave if needed
How refinding yourself after a difficult relationship can be fun and exciting
The importance of community and friends who can give you a reality check when you're feeling self-doubt

"You think, 'I don't have negative feelings about myself,' but something in my body was telling me I wasn't good." - Tracy

"I saw what his father was doing to him, but I didn't see what he was doing to me." - Tracy

"He chopped away your belief in yourself, the self-love you had, your self-worth." - Michelle Chalfant

"You deserve to be happy. You are a good person. If you feel good about what you're doing and you're confident in who you are, be aware of that and remind yourself of that and step out of the picture for a while." - Tracy

Resources

5 -Minute Self-Love Meditation

Episode #84: Raising Self-Esteem

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/84-raising-self-esteem/

Episode #173: Am I in a Toxic Relationship?

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/173-am-i-in-a-toxic-relationship/

Episode #174: Building Self-Esteem

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/174-building-self-esteem/

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July!

Use code FREEMEMBER

The Self Series

BOMBAS

https://bombas.com/adult

20% off your first order

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

The Adult Chair Membership

The Adult Chair Workshop

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

https://bryanreves.com/boundaries-silvy/

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

217: Summer Series: Attachment and Relationships with Silvy Khoucasian Jul 02, 2020

Show notes

We all have different ways that we connect and bond with others, and in psychology, we call this "attachment style." For example, some of us are anxious in our bonds, always making sure the relationship is ok. Others of us pull away when we feel we are getting too close with someone else. Our attachment style is HIGHLY influenced by our childhood and how we bonded with our caregivers growing up, and it's so important to understanding how we interact in our adult relationships!

In this episode, I interview the incredible Silvy Khoucasian, a relationship coach and attachment style expert, about the different attachment styles and how we bond in relationships. Understanding your attachment style can be one of the most helpful tools for understanding how you show up in relationships and seeing the patterns that you might otherwise be tempted to blame on your partner.

Listen to discover:

What attachment theory is and why it matters
The four attachment styles
How the different attachment styles interact with each other
How your attachment style creates patterns in your relationships today
How to set boundaries for each attachment style
Repairing shame and moving forward in relationships

It was such a joy having Silvy on the show as she breaks down attachment theory in a simple, easy-to-understand way. As Silvy reminds us, our attachment style is not our fault, and it's important to be gentle with ourselves as we learn and heal these patterns. Everyone is deserving of love and capable of having secure, healthy relationships no matter their attachment style — but it's up to us to do the work! I hope this episode helps you on your journey towards healthier relationships.

"Along that journey, it's important to start reflecting on, 'What are some ways I can start to bring healthier behaviors into the picture?' or at least, 'How can I communicate the tendencies that push people away or block connection?'" - Silvy Khoucasian

"It doesn't matter who we pair with as long as both people are willing to see their unhealthy behaviors...it takes both people being really honest about those things." - Silvy Khoucasian

"Starting to pay attention to whether our boundaries are serving us or if they're actually getting in the way of the kinds of relationships we want can be really helpful and can be paired with certain attachment styles really well." - Silvy Khoucasian

"As you do the thing that's going to help you heal it, it's going to be uncomfortable." - Silvy Khoucasian

"You have to know yourself, then you have to be able to tell your partner who you are and what you need. We react instead of expressing, 'Hey, this is what I need.'" - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

Silvy Khoucasian on Instagram

@SilvyKhoucasian

Boundaries Offering

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July!

Use code FREEMEMBER

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

The Adult Chair Membership

The Adult Chair Workshop

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification

Stay Connected

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

***

EPISODE CREDITS:

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

216: Navigating 2020 from your Adult Jun 25, 2020

Show notes

As we reach the last week of June and find ourselves halfway through 2020, I'm having a hard time finding words for this year. It has felt like a year of nonstop chaos, with so many challenges at the global and personal level. We are all feeling triggered everywhere we turn and overwhelmed by a range of emotions.

You might be wondering if it's even possible to live from your healthy Adult Chair during times like these, and I'm here to tell you that it IS possible. These are the times when we need The Adult Chair the most. It is when our healthiest selves are challenged that we truly develop the skills and practices that keep us in peace and balance regardless of outside circumstances.

In this episode, I give you tons of practical tips to help you navigate times of chaos from your Adult Chair. This includes how to tell when you've slipped into the Adolescent, how to get back into your Adult and how I'm using The Adult Chair model to get through 2020.

Listen to discover:

The key signs that you're in the Adolescent Chair
How to get into your Adult Chair
What anxiety is and how to clear the mind when it's running constantly
How to feel emotions, clear your energy and stay grounded
What triggers are and how they can be helpful
Practical tips to get through hard times from a healthy place

When I say The Adult Chair model is here to help you live a life of balance no matter what is going on in the world (or your life), I mean it! It's not just a zen state that you can find when all is good. It's a practical model to help you get through even the most chaotic of times. I know it is helping me!

I really believe that we are in a season of transformation right now. Our world is changing, and it's bringing us along with it. And while transformation is always painful, we are uncovering truths that have been hidden for far too long and making progress that is long overdue. Through The Adult Chair model, not only can you stay balanced during stressful times, but you can also step into your own journey of transformation and join the world as it changes for the better.

"When we're faced with fear, we have a tendency to slide out of the Adult Chair, the seat of the authentic part of who we are, and we get pulled by our ego into our Adolescent Chair. This is the seat of unconsciousness." - Michelle Chalfant

"We want to make sure we're living in this place [of presence] before we step out into the world or make a statement." - Michelle Chalfant

"Anxiety is the physical manifestation of unfelt emotions." - Michelle Chalfant

"I can't expect the world to change to make me feel better. [I have] to change and make [myself] feel better, and I say the same thing to you." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

The Adult Chair Workshop - New York

The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston

https://insighttimer.com/

Insight Timer

More Adult Chair

The Adult Chair Website

The Adult Chair Membership

The Adult Chair Workshop

The Adult Chair Coaching Certification