That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

Latest Episodes:

#110 Do you own your stuff or does it own you? Freeing yourself and your home with Jasmine Sleigh, author of Being Owned Sep 22, 2023

Show notes

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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Jasmine Sleigh is a professional declutterer and has spent the past decade helping people to free up space. She focuses not only on physical belongings but also on the emotional and psychological aspects of decluttering. In today's episode, Jasmine likens her role to a dance, where she carefully navigates through uncertainties and potential triggers for her clients and stresses the importance of providing support and encouragement throughout the decluttering process.

We also discuss Jasmine's book, Being Owned: A Decade in Professional Decluttering, where she expands on the concepts discussed in this episode. Let's dive into the world of decluttering with Jasmine Sleigh.

Facilitating crafts and donating unused items.
Professional decluttering: a personal and people-centric approach
Handling belongings requires adaptability and improvisation
Sort out space, prioritise essentials, declutter
Understanding lives through belongings; an intimate job
Stuff has power, can be moved
Keep belongings accessible for ease of use
Helping people achieve their goals is the key
Positive actions in a cost of living crisis
Jasmine wanted to write a book about her experiences as a professional declutterer, focusing on the poignant stories of her clients and celebrating her achievements
She also felt frustrated by people's misconceptions about the job
The importance of using and sharing possessions, especially in the context of crafting and hobbies.
Jasmine can only go as far as clients are willing to let her
Training others has further shaped her understanding
Emotional attachments and recent purchases may require more distance
The power of belongings and the impact they can have
Ensuring easy access and a comfortable living environment for individuals is the main priority
Goal is to make people happier in their homes
Using resources for good and the availability of second-hand items in a crisis
Sorting through belongings and determining their importance in one's life narrative
The Unpredictability of the Job
Need for adaptability in dealing with unexpected situations
Describing the job as a "dance" due to uncertainties and triggers
Being present and flexible in the moment, avoiding over-preparation
Ineffectiveness of threats and negative consequences
The Process of Decluttering
Recognising that there is no quick fix or magic solution
Examples of finding forgotten items
Belongings becoming overwhelming and causing a burden
The ability to move and rearrange belongings to improve the situation
Different levels of difficulty in letting go of different types of items
Sorting out keepsakes at different life stages
Importance of having hobbies and engaging in creative activities
Creating a space to pursue hobbies and finish projects
Passing on unused items for sustainability and resource usage
Power dynamics surrounding objects
Giving individuals agency to make choices about possessions
Stories of reengagement and finding joy in personal belongings
Being attuned to people and focused on their well-being
Maturation and increased understanding after 10 years of working
Importance of the home as a sanctuary for wellbeing

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#109 When you feel like giving up: dehoarding when it’s really hard Sep 15, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, we're diving into the topic of when you feel like giving up. We'll be exploring the struggles, frustrations, and moments of doubt that can arise during the journey of overcoming compulsive hoarding. We'll uncover strategies to stay motivated and find the strength to keep going. Join me as we navigate the highs and lows of this challenging process and discover the power of perseverance.

So, grab a cup of tea and press play!

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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Reminder: Why was change important? Self-examine motivation for new things.

Stay present, take care of yourself, embrace failure.

Challenges and triumphs in a long journey and a big project.

Setting expectations based on order rather than timings is preferable for someone who finds it difficult to predict. Learn from experience and set realistic expectations. Consider the burden of letting others down if you communicate expectations to them.

Setting milestones helps celebrate small wins. Clearing the kitchen table can be a goal, leading to a sense of accomplishment and motivation. Having compassion for oneself is crucial.

A Facebook comment inspired compassion from children of hoarders, encouraging someone to not give up and be a hero for their kids.

Change up your habits, shift timing, remember why you started.

Remember why decluttering was important to you. Reflect on your motivation and discover new reasons, like enjoying extra space, treating yourself, or flexibility while working from home.

Taking breaks and finding inspiration from others helps prevent burnout during long-term projects. Look to successful people for motivation, even outside of your specific field.

Applying mindset to various areas of life, replacing unproductive habits, assessing and making adjustments, and the potential benefits of visualizing success.

Acknowledging slow progress is better than no progress

Feelings of frustration and impatience with the current situation

Be patient and work with circumstances

Mindful Approach to Avoid Feeling Overwhelmed

Being present in the moment instead of rushing to the next thing

Appreciating and being present in small tasks

Practicing mindfulness and avoiding constant engagement with everything

Importance of physical, mental, and emotional self-care

Maintaining motivation through scheduled and unscheduled breaks

Viewing failure as a learning experience, not a reason to give up

Importance of setting specific goals and milestones in decluttering

Celebrating accomplishments as motivation

Breaking tasks into manageable chunks to reduce overwhelm

Replacing rigidity with a more gentle and careful approach

Doing a bit, assessing, and making adjustments

Changing Environment and Finding Motivation

Changing environment or time of day to make decluttering feel new

Reflecting on initial motivation to stay motivated

Various sources of inspiration, including social media, podcasts, and books

Unrelated endeavours like trekking the Appalachian Mountains as a source of inspiration

Flexibility and Adaptability in Pursuit of Goals

Emphasizing the importance of flexibility and adaptability

Overcoming rigidity and perfectionism through adjustment and starting multiple times

Taking breaks and weekends off to prevent burnout

Failure as a Motivator and Opportunity

Understanding failure as a setback in life plans

Validating the feelings of discouragement and wanting to give up

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#108 From indecisiveness to empowered choices: 27 practical tips for overcoming decision-making challenges in hoarding Sep 08, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, we explore decision making and its connection to hoarding. I dive into neuroscience research, exploring the neural mechanisms of decision making in hoarding disorder, discover how individuals categorise their own possessions versus those of others, and how this impacts their ability to make decisions. I talk ways to improve decision making skills. From flipping a coin to considering our values, setting priorities, and seeking advice, I explore practical techniques that can help anyone struggling with indecisiveness. Along the way, I tackle the fear of uncertainty and how it can hinder decision making. I delve into the different decision making styles that researchers have identified and how understanding these styles can help.

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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Hoarding OCD patients struggle with decision making.
Differences in decision making for hoarders.
Anticipating regret
Test small decisions
Gather information, set time limits for decisions
Accepting uncertainty
Toss a coin, keep perspective, ask advice.
Consider long-term consequences, stick to decisions.
Start small; gain confidence in decision-making.
Learning from past decisions improves future choices.
Hoarders report anxiety and procrastination in decision making.
Lack of self-trust skews decision-making
Hoarding disorder linked to impulsive decisions and self-reliance.
Differences in categorising own items compared to others'
Writing down thoughts can clarify complexity and solve problems
Fear of mistakes leads to decision avoidance.
Hoarders anticipate regret
Ask more than "what if"
Perspective, flexibility, seek advice.
Stick to decisions and avoid second-guessing or agonising over them.
Psychology Today: 35,000 choices made daily
Decisions can be overwhelming
The butterfly effect and the impact of seemingly insignificant decisions
Strategies for Decision Making in Hoarding
Imaginary Person Technique
Aligning decisions with values to prioritise what is truly important
How values can guide decision-making in hoarding situations
Neural Mechanisms of Decision Making in Hoarding
Study involving brain scans and paper items
Tossing a coin to make decisions and considering feelings about the result
Setting priorities, asking "what if" questions
Being open to different perspectives
Tolerating uncertainty
Understanding Decision Making Styles
No definitive set of decision making styles
Cultivating Compassion and Making Ethical Choices
Cultivating self-compassion
Making compassionate choices for a better quality of life
Practical Tips for Decision Making in Hoarding
Starting with small, easy decisions and gradually progressing to more significant ones
Challenging oneself to try different options and gain decision-making skills
Learning from past decisions to inform future ones and identify helpful strategies
Considering long-term consequences rather than focusing solely on immediate ones
Stepping out of immediate emotions
Sticking to decisions and avoiding overanalysing or second-guessing
Difficulty making decisions among patients with hoarding disorder and OCD
Characteristics of hoarding disorder, including excessive indecisiveness and avoidance
Hoarding disorder's association with procrastination, indecisiveness, and decision-related fears

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#107 Things that look like hoarding but aren’t: ADHD, depression, autism, OCD, OCPD and more Sep 01, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, we'll be delving into things that look like hoarding but aren't. Joining me is the incredible Dr. Jan Eppingstall, a specialist in hoarding disorder.

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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We explore the how to determine if someone has hoarding tendencies, shedding light on hoarding and its connections to other mental health conditions, such as OCD and OCPD. We'll discuss the criteria for these disorders and how they relate to hoarding behaviors. But hoarding is just the tip of the iceberg. We'll also explore the relationship between hoarding, autism, ADHD, and depression, uncovering the common symptoms and challenges in these overlapping conditions.

So, join us as we discuss things that may look like hoarding but aren't.

Understanding the cause of hoarding behaviours

OCD and OCPD are mental disorders characterized by anxiety and rigid personality traits. Hoarding was associated with OCPD

Overlap of symptoms

Depression makes daily tasks exhausting and meaningless

Autism and ADHD: understanding and terminology

Often mask to fit in

Recognise sensory needs, respect neurodivergence, ask questions

Rejection sensitive dysphoria, impulsiveness, and addiction in ADHD

Understanding the causes of hoarding behaviours is important

OCD and OCPD are mental disorders. OCD causes anxiety and impairs functioning. OCPD is a personality disorder with rigid traits

Hoarding was considered a subtype of OCPD

People with OCPD may not see their behaviours as problematic and may exhaust themselves trying to meet unrealistic standards

Do individuals feel responsible for the welfare of objects, are they emotionally attached to them, do they experience distress from clutter or the act of saving?

A potential opposite extreme of compulsive minimalism

Feeling exhausted and worthless, maintaining a tidy house becomes unimportant. A depression nest forms

Hoarding often starts at a young age. Time and untreated depression can worsen it

Bipolar disorder

Increased understanding and awareness leading to more assessments.

Women are often overlooked

Understanding and accommodating individuals with neurodivergence is important

Sensory needs and routines may vary

ADHD is highly heritable but can also be influenced by environmental stressors and trauma

Variable attention stimulus trait

Creating your own options and not being afraid of failure in self-help

ADHD, depression, and hoarding often co-occur

Other conditions like OCD, anxiety, bipolar disorder, social anxiety, bulimia, binge eating, gambling, and personality disorders can be linked to hoarding

Treatment is challenging but not impossible

Definitions and criteria for hoarding tendencies

Compulsive spartanism

Differences and similarities between OCD and OCPD

Criteria for OCPD based on Freud

Hoarding originally considered a subtype of OCPD

Labels and understanding underlying needs

Focus on purpose rather than the diagnosis

Unrealistic standards and exhaustion from trying to meet them

Sensitive dysphoria and euphoria

Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted in daily life

Accepting help without distress or shame

Depression nests

Relationship between ADHD, depression, and hoarding

OCD, generalized anxiety, bipolar disorder, social anxiety, eating disorders, addiction, and personality disorders

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#106 The Art of Letting Go: Navigating emotional clutter blocks with Tracy McCubbin Aug 25, 2023

Show notes

I speak to Tracy McCubbin, an expert in decluttering, organising, and overcoming the emotional attachment to our belongings. With years of hands-on experience and a deep understanding of clutter, Tracy helps people reclaim their spaces. Tracy shares invaluable insights into the psychology behind stuff and the challenges that arise when inherited items become emotional burdens. She challenges the notion that objects hold inherent meaning and encourages listeners to question the attachment they have to their possessions. Tracy also provides practical advice on how to approach decluttering and organising. She dispels the myth of overnight transformations often portrayed on social media, reminding us that real progress takes time and effort. She shares anecdotes, including the story of the infamous painting of dogs playing poker and its unexpected journey to a new home. Join us as we explore clutter blocks through six items of mine,

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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Introduction to the clutter blocks and their origin

Birthed from hands-on work with people and their experiences with hoarding disorder

The struggle of inheriting items from deceased family members

Difficulty in letting go of things due to sentimental attachment or financial value

Objects hold no inherent meaning, we assign meaning to them

Example of the speaker's wedding dress and societal pressure to hold onto sentimental items

The changing importance of objects over time

Acquisition of things becoming easier, questioning the need to hold onto them

Tackling decluttering and organizing separately

Not expecting immediate results

Unrealistic expectations created by social media

Working at your own pace

Time and energy limitations due to work and family

The initial chaos before improvement during the decluttering process

Hiring professionals for cleaning services if deep cleaning is not enjoyable

Selling or giving away unwanted items to avoid clutter

Celebrating progress by hiring a cleaning company and taking a break

Resisting pressure to do things one doesn't enjoy

Letting go of items and finding them in the hands of those who need them

Separating decluttering, organizing, and cleaning as separate tasks

Avoiding overwhelm and making the process more manageable

Replacing reminders of painful memories with positive ones

Not feeling obligated to keep crafts made by others

A client with a collection of birdhouses made by their father

Reflecting on the concept of regret and the things that are never thought about again

Choosing cash over a sale purse

Declutter, organize, and clean separately for success

Decluttering takes time and patience, but it's worth it

Feeling obliged to keep handmade crafts made by others

The meaning we attach to objects

Beautiful gift that's not my style

Dogs playing poker painting given new home

Father hoards baby strollers, never gives them away

Disaster relief donations often miss the mark

Hiring help for tasks you dislike

We make mistakes, let's learn and move on

Decluttering takes time and effort; it may get worse before it gets better

Psychological attachment to objects and challenges the belief that everything must be kept

Focus on good memories

Putting a time limit on completing tasks

Donate money, not random items

It is okay to not enjoy certain tasks and celebrate hiring help

We all make mistakes, but holding on to them is unnecessary

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#105 Embracing the path of least resistance: finding ease in the journey when overcoming hoarding Aug 18, 2023

Show notes

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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Today, I dive into the importance of setting up systems to make dehoarding easier and less resistant. We'll discuss how examining the structure of our lives can help us determine what can be done to make the decluttering process more manageable. Plus, we'll explore the concept of choosing realistic timings that fit with our individual lifestyles for successful decluttering. We'll also explore the idea that the path of least resistance is often seen as negative, implying that someone isn't trying hard enough. In the realm of dealing with hoarding, however, the path of least resistance can be a gift. I'll explain how taking this approach doesn't mean avoiding challenges altogether, but rather making the overwhelming task of decluttering more manageable. Join me as I navigate the intricate world of compulsive hoarding, exploring the strategies and mindsets that can help us overcome this challenge. Get ready to uncover the path of least resistance.

Choosing the simplest option to overcome challenges
Uncertainty, struggle, progress in dealing with tasks
Create a system to enable donating items
Overcome barriers and get things out
Simplify decisions, prioritise, and start somewhere
Guidelines and formulas
Confidence and small steps
Choose the easiest option to start moving. Dealing with difficult challenges can be overwhelming. No shame in taking the simplest path
Uncertainty improved by experience and research
Need to be intentional to prevent worsening
Think about what stops you and create a system to enable change
Have a bag ready for charity donations
Start somewhere, any room or item, and adjust approach as needed.
Examining the structure of your life to facilitate decluttering
The negative perception of the path of least resistance
Acknowledgment of the importance of embracing challenges, but hoarding is already a significant one
Importance of making progress and having mental energy
Being more selective in future donation choices
Prioritising getting rid of items over ensuring they leave the house perfectly
Practical examples of following the path of least resistance in donating items
The challenge of determining where to start decluttering
Importance of thinking about structures that hinder decluttering
The value of creating systems or structures for ease of decluttering
The importance of following the path of least resistance to overcome difficult challenges
Barriers to getting rid of items, such as the need for perfection
Considering the easiest path to get items out of the house without throwing them away
Encouragement to pay attention to personal objections to getting rid of items
Research and intentionality as key factors in being neat and tidy
How being intentional prevents worsening and improves the situation
The benefits of considering the path of least resistance in making deliberate choices
Choosing what feels good to enhance productivity
The burden of donating items from a hoarded home due to the scale of possessions
The struggle of perfectionism in choosing where to donate
Considerations when deciding where to donate items
Suggestions for starting decluttering in specific areas of the home
The possibility of becoming overwhelmed and unable to make progress
Comparison of the structure of a river to the structure of one's life

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#104 From sticky substances to mouldy messes: tackling the really gross bits when dehoarding Aug 11, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, we will be tackling the really gross and icky bits of dehoarding. It's not the most glamorous topic, but it's an essential part of the journey to a clutter-free life. We'll be discussing everything from dealing with unpleasant smells to handling sticky or disgusting substances that can accumulate over time. I've got some practical tips and strategies to help you navigate these challenges.

Dealing with gross things is important, but don't beat yourself up about it
Take responsibility, not blame, use it to motivate improvement
Presence of mould or goo in home is harmful physically, mentally, emotionally. Use gloves and a face mask to protect against anything gross or moldy. Use a grabber if needed
Adding essential oil drops to a face mask or using Vick's VapoRub improves smell.
Learn from experience, tackle issues one by one, prevent future problems: avoid bulk buying, store properly
The importance of addressing the "gross and icky" bits of dehoarding
Learning from unpleasant experiences and taking pride in overcoming them
Tackling issues or challenges one by one in a methodical manner
Taking proactive measures to prevent similar situations from arising again
Practical tips for dealing with sticky or gross substances
Addressing them individually until the whole house is clean
Being cautious with bulk food purchases and storing perishable items properly
Using bags for cleaning purposes is a logical use, not a waste
Spraying antibacterial spray after cleaning to ensure cleanliness
The importance of not avoiding unpleasant tasks
Facing the situation head-on because it won't go away on its own
Being realistic about what needs to be addressed
Quick resolution of tasks that have been avoided for a long time
The importance of ventilation to prevent mould and fungus spores from spreading
The need for Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) when dealing with harmful substances
Taking responsibility without blaming oneself
Using experiences as motivation to improve hoarding habits
Promoting a proactive attitude towards personal growth and improvement
Overcoming the fear and worries associated with gross or unpleasant tasks
Using gloves, face masks, and grabber tools to avoid touching or inhaling harmful substances
Prioritising health and wellbeing when removing gross or unidentifiable items
The consequences of failure to clean up grossness, including contamination and more waste
Accepting that some things may not be savable and may need to be discarded

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#103 Scarcity and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall Aug 04, 2023

Show notes

With therapist Dr Jan Eppingstall, I look at the scarcity dilemma, uncovering the complex relationship between fear, control, and hoarding. We explore the link between scarcity and compulsive hoarding behaviours and how marketing tactics manipulate our emotions and behaviorus, leading us to accumulate more than we need. We look at strategies and discuss the psychological reasons behind the urge to hoard and the challenging process of letting go.

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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Help out: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/support-this-project/

Importance of being aware of marketing tactics and their influence on emotions and behaviors.
Creating a space between stimulus and response to choose how to react.
Consideration of how a purchase will fit into our lives and finite home space.
Advising against in-store hoarding and hiding behaviors.
The urge to buy when something is believed to be scarce.
Charity shops as challenging for those triggered by scarcity.
Reactant theory and limited availability triggering increased attention and attraction.
Psychological factors contributing to hoarding behaviour.
Anxiety disorder and fear of making mistakes or being unprepared.
Preference for acquiring goods now rather than having more cash later.
Using possessions for control and anticipation of future needs.
Anticipated regret and comparison of acquisition and non-acquisition outcomes.
Scarcity perception, reactance, and fear of missing out (FOMO).
Limited availability as a threat to personal freedom.
Sense of urgency to buy and hoard when perceiving a shortage.
FOMO as a prevalent fear of not being able to purchase.
Mindset shifts and gratitude
Recognising and expressing gratitude for abundance in one's life.
Hoarding as compensatory behavior for insecure attachment.
Filling the void of missing connections.
Providing hedonistic pleasure and dopamine hit.
Compensating for lacking or not acknowledging something.
Finding fulfillment beyond material possessions.
Importance of recognising and being grateful for small moments and human interactions.
Random joy and emotional fulfillment over material things.
Ethical concerns with therapists receiving constant marketing offers.
Overwhelming amount of emails for online courses and discounts.
Feeling uncomfortable and "icky" about this type of marketing.
Effectiveness of different types of scarcity.
Limited quantity scarcity vs. limited time scarcity.
Limited quantity scarcity leading to competition and pride.
Bargains as part of the gift and providing satisfaction.
Disagreement with scarcity mindset versus abundant mindset descriptions.
Lack of competitiveness or jealousy towards others.
Belief in collaboration and not worrying about others' resources.
Curiosity about the fear of scarcity and its underlying reasons.

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#102 Turn your chair around: beginner’s mind and the power of perspective in hoarding Jul 28, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, we're exploring the power of turning your chair round and embracing different perspectives.

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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Imagining advice from different perspectives
Gaining new insights and advice
Showing compassion towards yourself
Questioning how things are done
Exploring different ways to frame situations
Beginner's Mind from Zen Buddhism:
Dropping expectations and preconceived ideas
Stepping out of comfort zone
Initial discomfort leading to eventual comfort
Trying new things can be scary but rewarding
Questioning and reevaluating rules:
Determining if rules are still useful and relevant
Challenging yourself to break established patterns
Confirmation bias: Seeking information that aligns with existing beliefs
Perfectionism in organizing possessions:
Energizing and motivating the organising process
Believing in different possibilities
Challenging the belief that things have to be a certain way forever
Exploring new ways of thinking and doing things
Challenging fears:
Proving fears are not necessarily true
Gentle self-reflection:
Encouraging personal growth and understanding
Turning the chair around
Seeing possibilities and solutions with a fresh outlook
Practicing beginner's mind and mindfulness
Looking for something unrelated to existing interests

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#101 Wishcycling, the 5 Rs, and hoarding - what you need to know Jul 21, 2023

Show notes

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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Join me as I delve into wishcycling and the connection between hoarding and sustainable practices.

On this episode of Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder, I dive into the topic of wishcycling and how it relates to hoarding. I explore the concept of repairing and upcycling as effective ways to extend the lifespan of items, discussing the difference between repairing and intending to repair. I learn about the importance of following through with repair plans and setting deadlines.

Wishcycling, the act of putting non-recyclable items in recycling bins, is the main topic of discussion. I explore common items that are often wishcycled, such as plastic bags and crisp/chip packets, and the negative impact it can have I highlight the recycling initiative TerraCycle, which offers recycling programs for difficult-to-recycle items.

I emphasise the 5 Rs and how hoarders can focus on reducing consumption to tackle overwhelm in their homes. I also discuss the potential distractions these can pose for hoarders and the importance of prioritising oneself, the home, and the people we live with over broken or damaged items.

I also look at the uncertainty surrounding recyclable items and the complexities of the recycling process, emphasising the need to question if we really need something before acquiring it.

Topics:

Definition of wishcycling and its negative effects
Commonly wishcycled items and misconceptions
The impact of wishcycling on recycling machines and materials
Extending the lifespan of items through repair and upcycling
Examples of effective repair and upcycling techniques
The difference between repairing and intending to repair
Overview of TerraCycle and its recycling programs
Personal Experience with Repairing
Setting a strict deadline to avoid procrastination
Applying Principles of Reuse and Repair:
How reducing consumption can help tackle overwhelm in hoarded homes
Balancing Repair and Hoarding:
Repairing as a potential distraction or excuse for hoarding
Prioritising oneself and loved ones over broken or damaged items
Tendency to reuse unsafe items in hoarded homes
An overview of the five R's (reduce, reuse, repair, rot, recycle)
The question of need and waste reduction
Personal Motivation and the Environment:
Survivors of trauma as environmentally motivated individuals
Hoarding as a barrier to caring for the environment
The personal and global benefits of reducing consumption
Acknowledging uncertainties in recycling practices

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