Strong Feelings

Latest Episodes:

Friendship First with Miranda Kent & Danielle Weeks May 30, 2019

Show notes

What if—instead of waiting on the right romantic relationship—two best friends had a baby together? This week we chat with real-life and onscreen best friends Miranda Kent and Danielle Weeks, the creators and costars of a new web series about just that: Baby Love.

We loved hearing about Miranda and Danielle’s creative project, but we gotta admit: it was their incredible relationship that really blew us away. They met when they were fourteen, y’all...and they’ve been BFFs and collaborators ever since.

Our biggest hurdle always is when we get together, we just want to talk. We don’t necessarily go straight to the work. So, a lot of times, we have to set a timer, we have to be really diligent.

—Miranda Kent, Baby Love co-creator and costar

We chat about:

How to be successful in creative collaborations with a friend (we definitely took notes)
Why getting through the difficult moments makes a creative partnership (and friendship!) better
How fertility fears, a very British breakup, and true friendship led to Baby Love
Our value as women—whether pursuing career, motherhood, both, or...neither
Aging in Hollywood (and what happens when you decide you won’t just fade away)

Plus:

Trans women are women, TERFs are toxic, and why we need to keep unlearning gender binaries
How we manage being besties who collaborate on projects—like this podcast and our new community—while also running other companies (whew)
Phoebe Waller-Bridge is a genius, Fleabag is a work of art, and if it’s not clear already: we fucking love women creating, writing, starring, and generally owning shit onscreen

You Don’t Have to be Nice with Caroline Criado Perez May 23, 2019

Show notes

Did you know that women are 17 percent more likely to die in a car crash than men—and 47 percent more likely to be seriously injured? That’s because cars are designed for the average male, not the average human. This week’s guest is Caroline Criado Perez, and she’s on a mission to change that.

Caroline Criado Perez is a journalist, a feminist campaigner, and the author of a new book called Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men. It’s an in-depth look at the ways everything from heart-attack symptoms to snow-clearing routes put men first—and what needs to happen to change that. Caroline is also a fierce campaigner for women’s rights, and has a certain knack for making her feminist campaigns go viral. As you might guess, we absolutely love her.

You don't have to be nice all the time. Women are always taught we have to be nice and everyone has to love us. And actually, if you're trying to make change, that is impossible and you have to be okay with that.
—Caroline Criado Perez, author of Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men

Caroline chats with us about:

Gender bias and how it’s dangerous for women, even (and especially!) in medical situations.
The invisibility of women in data, including in medical tests and medication, unpaid labor, disaster relief, car designs, and more.
How a gender audit of policies in Sweden led to a change in how they clear the snow to best allow citizens to go about their day, instead of continuing to automatically favor men to the detriment of women.
Why having women in the room when designing things for massive public use—like Twitter—is essential if you’re aiming to create something that will work for more people, not just white men.

Plus:

#YouKnowMe, Shout Your Abortion, and why women seem to always have to share their most personal stories just to be seen as human.
FY to seven girls at Bronx Prep Middle School who created a podcast about periods—called Sssh! Periods—and won the grand prize for middle school in NPR’s Student Podcast Challenge.

Acts of Revolution with Nanci Luna Jiménez May 16, 2019

Show notes

Were you allowed to cry as a kid—or did someone tell you to toughen up and get over it? Nanci Luna Jiménez believes that too many of us were taught to shove our feelings down, instead of handling them in healthy ways—and that if we can’t release our feelings and process our hurt, we can’t dismantle oppression.

Nanci wants to change that. She’s the founder and president of the Luna Jiménez Institute for Social Transformation, where she inspires individuals and organizations to deepen their commitment to social justice and create transformational change. And she wants us all to understand why building intimate relationships and allowing ourselves and others the space to release feelings aren’t just feel-good tactics. They’re acts of revolution.

When we get hurt and there’s oppression coming at us, the responses we’ve normalized are all responses that eventually numb and isolate us. And if they don’t numb and isolate us, then they will come out and leak out in ways that become oppressive towards other human beings.
—Nanci Luna Jiménez, founder and president of the Luna Jiménez Institute for Social Transformation

We talk about:

The Luna Jiménez Institute for Social Transformation
How healing from institutionalized oppressions and social justice are connected
Adultism—the systematic and institutional mistreatment of young people—as the training ground for oppression
What constructivist listening is and how practicing it is beneficial

Plus:

We’re launching an IRL community called Collective Strength in Philly! Check out the details and RSVP to our first event on salary, fair pay, and negotiation.
Sara talks about why she makes a point to talk with friends about speaking fees, freelance rates, and salaries as often as possible.
Remember our chat with Veronica Rex about the Philadelphia Community Bail Fund two episodes ago? Their Mother’s Day bailout raised over $135,000 this year and bailed out a bunch of moms for the holiday, plus they have plans (and the funds!) to bail out more moms soon.

Empower Work with Jaime-Alexis Fowler May 09, 2019

Show notes

If you’ve ever had a job, chances are you faced issues and didn't know who you could safely reach out to—especially if you’re a woman and/or a person of color working in an industry that is dominated by people who don’t look like you. Instead of struggling to get through it on your own, what if you could send a text and chat it out with a trained peer?

Good news! Empower Work exists for just that purpose. It’s an online platform where you can get fast, free, and confidential support by simply sending a text message. On this week’s episode, we chat with founder and executive director Jamie-Alexis Fowler.

I think so often when you’re grappling with the situation, it feels so isolating. It can feel like you’re the only person who has ever faced this, that you’re the only person who has felt this stuck. And, of course, it’s deeply, deeply personal. And that’s completely normal to feel that way—and also it’s important to recognize that this is something that millions of Americans are facing.
—Jaime-Alexis Fowler, founder and executive director of Empower Work

If you need help with a work problem, considering asking Empower Work. Text 510-674-1414 anytime, or use the Empower Work web chat.

We talk about:

Why Empower Work’s peer support matters so much when people feel isolated and alone.
The most common issues people need help with (hint: it starts with an "m" and it ends with an "anager").
Why so many people struggle when they’re “the only” person in their workplace.
The benefits of peer counseling, and how to train people to support others.
Why Jaime-Alexis is committed to keeping Empower Work a nonprofit—rather than making it a service companies pay for.

Plus:

How we’ve handled our own crap work moments—like being asked to commit to a new salary in a hallway, or dealing with a conference creep who’s tight with your boss
Why we can’t talk about handling work issues without talking about toxic masculinity
How Sara and Katel plan to take over the world with their new workshop

Free Black Mamas with Veronica Rex May 02, 2019

Show notes

One out of three people who are arrested in America can’t pay their bail, leaving them to sit behind bars for months while they wait for a trial—losing jobs, homes, and even custody of their kids in the process. Most of those people are black or brown. We talk with community organizer Veronica Rex about why the cash bail system is so broken, how community bail funds work, and how we can help bring home black mamas this Mother’s Day.

Veronica Rex is a mother, grandmother, and activist with the Philadelphia Community Bail Fund. She’s also experienced the injustice of cash bail firsthand. Last year, she was arrested—and she had to choose between bail money and legal support. So she sat behind bars for three months before she learned about the bail fund. Now she wants to share her story with the world, and help more black mamas stuck in pretrial detention get back to their families.

It’s like being in slavery again because you have to pay for your freedom. We should not have to pay for our freedom, and we should not have to sit behind bars until the system decides to give me a court date, until the system decides it’s time for my arraignment.
—Veronica Rex, Philadelphia Community Bail Fund activist

On the agenda:

What happens when people can’t make bail: they lose their jobs, homes, cars, and even their kids
Why people who have to wait in jail for their trial are more likely to plead guilty, even if they’re not
What it really looks like to be stuck in jail before trial, from lockdowns to strip searches to being denied medication
How bail funds work, why they matter, and why you should give to one this Mother’s Day

Donating to a bail fund is an incredibly simple, incredibly powerful action. And right now, your money can go to bringing black mamas back to their families for Mother’s Day. Check out National Bail Out to find a bail fund near you, or check out the Philadelphia Community Bail Fund to support our local black mamas.

Older women are the happiest demographic in this country—but you wouldn’t know it based on how our culture talks about them. Mary Pipher, author of _Women Rowing North: Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing As We Age, joins us to set the record straight.

If you’re a woman, you’ve probably internalized a million messages about the horrors of getting older: changing bodies, diminished careers, invisibility everywhere. But Mary Pipher wants you to know there’s more to aging than gray hair—there’s also incredible resilience, growth, and even bliss. And the more we build those skills now, the better off we’ll all be.

“It’s in everybody's benefit, not just older people’s benefit, to have a new way of redefining older people that is not in terms of loss and diminishment, but in terms of growth.”
—Mary Pipher, author of Women Rowing North

Whatever life stage you’re in, this interview will speak to you—promise. We talk about:

Why ageism is probably a bigger problem for older women than agin.
The resilience of older people—and how all of us can bump up our resilience skills now.
Why “friendshipping is a verb”—and why building lifetime friendships is “an emotional and mental health insurance policy” for women.
Finding gratefulness and joy, even when things are tough.
How to transcend our former selves, so we don’t just adapt as we age, but actually savor changes.
Handling loss and the power of being with loved ones in their final days.
What’s next for Mary: a 25th anniversary edition of her groundbreaking book, Reviving Ophelia, which changed the way we look at adolescent girls.

Plus: On our way to a 50-year friendship, caftans on the beach, and why every book needs a launch party with a book cake.

(Author photo by Sarah Greder)

Links:

Mary Pipher
Books: Women Rowing North, out now, and the 25th anniversary edition of Reviving Ophelia, out in June
The happiness of older women

Decolonize Everything with Christine Nobiss Apr 18, 2019

Show notes

Indigenous communities face all kinds of injustice—from violence to poverty to climate change. Yet their voices are often absent from policy discussions. We talk with Seeding Sovereignty’s Christine Nobiss about what it would look like to follow the lead of Indigenous people, and why violence against Indigenous women needs much more of our attention. (This episode discusses sexual and domestic violence—please take care of yourself while listening.)

Christine is a Plains Cree-Saulteaux writer, artist, and organizer based in Iowa. She leads several projects with Seeding Sovereignty, an organization empowering the political voice of Indigenous peoples.

Indigenous women have managed to tenaciously keep our culture together, and keep our children healthy, and our communities going. We are the walking embodiments of a social impact strategy.
—Christine Nobiss, decolonizer, Seeding Sovereignty

We talk about:

How Seeding Sovereignty empowers Indigenous peoples’ political voice
How Christine got her start as an activist and organizer, what it means to be a decolonizer, plus what she’s working on now
The power of tapping into younger—and older—generations to build an activist movement

Plus

We dig deeper into the crisis of missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls in the U.S. and Canada
We check in on the status of the still-not-renewed (!!) Violence Against Women Act, and why it needs everyone’s attention
And a big fuck yeah to running a 10k together, and swinging by Federal Donuts after. (Fun fact: this podcast became an idea during a run!)

Are High Heels Feminist? with Summer Brennan Apr 11, 2019

Show notes

Are high heels oppressive or powerful? Good or bad? Beauty or pain? What if the answer to all of those questions is...yes?

We talk with Summer Brennan about her new book, High Heel, which explores how heels aren’t just about fashion or culture, but are really about women’s place in public life.

Summer is a journalist who writes about gender, art, and the political history of fashion. Her new book, High Heel, is part of a Bloomsbury series called “Object Lessons: Exploring the Hidden Lives of Ordinary Things.”

What does it mean if the most feminine shoe is the shoe that makes it difficult to get from one place to another? In the literal sense, does that say something about our metaphorical ability to get from one position to another position?

We chat about:

Summer’s new book. High Heel is out now!
Why high heels are such a divisive topic, and how Summer deals with negative feedback
High heels and class: how what women are expected to wear ties directly to perceptions about where they stand economically
Her own relationship with high heels—and ours (it’s complicated)
Writing about oyster farms and environmental policy, high heels and feminism, and a thousand things in between—all at the same time

Plus

Sara shares why liking things thought of as girly ended up feeling like a rebellion to her—and how that resulted in sneaking clear mascara as a kid.
Katel reveals that a love of clogs runs in her family, and why she blames high heels for once fainting on the NYC subway.
We recommend Bossed Up, a podcast that keeps it real about the challenges women face at work.
And a big fuck yeah to...Cantrip Coffee, a new roaster in Philly whose co-owner is Robyn from Blowdryer—the band behind our theme song!

Working the Double Shift with Katherine Goldstein Mar 14, 2019

Show notes

We hear lots of stories about motherhood and parenting. But not very many about moms themselves—except for ones where they feel guilty and exhausted all the time. Journalist Katherine Goldstein wants to change that. She joins us to talk about what it’s really like to be a working mom—and how she’s challenging the world around her, not conforming to it.

Katherine is a journalist whose work focuses on women, work, and parenting issues. She’s also the creator and host of a new podcast called The Double Shift—a show that explores the intricate lives of mothers who work. She joins us to share her own experience, and the amazing stories of working moms—from a 24-hour daycare provider in Las Vegas to a candidate who’s running for office with three small kids in tow.

The conversation about working mothers is very dominated by mostly middle class, white collar, urban people in big cities… usually through a lens of a lot of privilege. And those concerns that are raised by that group are completely valid and need to be talked about, but those are only a very small slice of the experience.
—Katherine Goldstein, journalist and host of The Double Shift

We talk about:

How Katherine went from print journalism to reporting via podcast, and how she developed The Double Shift
Why “leaning in” doesn’t work as advertised for moms, and, well, lots of women
Why men are essential in the work of protecting and supporting women and mothers
Why angry moms make such great activists

Plus

Sara gets showered with glitter at a Robyn show and there’s just still so much glitter everywhere
Katel and Sara discuss how their friends and families are navigating child care, from the wildly varying ways it takes shape to how much it costs—and what universal child care could mean for American parents
And a big fuck yeah to...poetry! More specifically, lovely poetry books (and more) from Small Press Distributors

Sex Work is Work with Jessica Raven Mar 07, 2019

Show notes

Jessica is the executive director at The Audre Lorde Project and an activist and organizer advocating for sex workers—first with Decrim Now and now with the brand-new Decim NY. Her passion for the work stems from her own experiences with gendered violence, homelessness, and the sex trade. We fell in love with her insight, her voice, and her incredible compassion. You will too.

Those who are most vulnerable to sex trafficking are people who are already in the sex trades, just like any other industry. The solution to ending trafficking in the agriculture industry is not “ban food” or “end demand for food.” That’s not logical. The solution to ending trafficking is by meeting people’s basic needs.
—Jessica Raven, executive director at the Audre Lorde Project and Decrim NY steering committee member
_(Photo by Darrow Montgomery at the Washington City Paper)

We talk about:

Jessica’s work with the Audre Lorde Project and Decrim NY
Recognizing that sex work is work
Sex trafficking, The Mann Act, and the connection to interracial relationships
SESTA, FOSTA, and how bills and policies like them endanger the lives of sex workers
Why closing down a website doesn't end sex trafficking
What a healthy sex industry would look like
How to be a better ally to sex workers

Plus

Sara and Katel unpack the messages they grew up with about sex work, why it’s becoming a campaign issue for the 2020 election, and why everyone working in tech definitely needs to pay attention to SESTA and FOSTA.
We share our love for podcast BFFs She’s All Fat—an amazing show celebrating body positivity, chill vibes, and—surprise!—friendship. Listen up!