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Square Roots – THE Classic RPG Podcast — Games & Hobbies
Square Roots – THE Classic RPG Podcast

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they’re the fun kind of dumb, and that’s what counts.

Latest Episodes:

Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 1 - Fresh from the Phylactory Jan 08, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 395 You've got to hand it to the Herald: their hand certainly is glowy, and has superpowers too! In this gripping first chunker of BioWare's Dragon Age: Inquisition we close gates to the fade, meet a horse man, stare at chest hair, and leave the hinterlands as soon as Solas tells us to, because we wouldn't want to disappoint Vanessa's dream elf. Also: - Carol Vorderman's Math Skills - A Naturalist, Not a Naturist - How Many Games Make Your Mom Turn Into A Frankenstein? - Vanessa Makes A Terrible Declaration - A Freudian Digression

This Week: We watch an old lady get punched in the face in Val Royeaux Next Week: Recruit Sera, Vivianne, Blackwall, and Iron Bull plus complete either the Mages or the Templar's quest (In Hushed Whispers or Champions of the Just) Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy I Part 2 - Cozy Goodtimes Jan 01, 2024

Show notes

Final Fantasy I Part 2 - Cozy Goodtimes Square Roots - Episode 394 Don't you just love having legs? You can waggle them, you can crisscrossapplesauce them, they have leg hands! And we use our JRPG legs through all the long walks and long dungeons of this limb-filled Square Roots episode ending our Final Fantasy I season. Just two episodes? You better believe it. Also: - Advent Children Chose The Most Boring Option - Ouroboros Burgertime - His Name Is Tyler - Magical Canoe of Destiny - Special Apologies to Appalachia

This Week: We Finish Final Fantasy 1! Next Week: Dragon Age Inquisition - End of Val Royeaux Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Rooots Versus (An?) 8-Bit Christmas Dec 25, 2023

Show notes

Hello friends! It's The Holiday Wintertime Goodtime Week so we are off carousing, carolling, controlling and blu cantrelling, and not podcasting.

But that doesn't mean you can't have this fresh piece of Square Roots fruitcake from our archive! We watch the NPH 80s retro feature and give you our HOTTEST takes. Enjoy!

This Week: We watch a movie! About video games! Next Week: We Finish Final Fantasy 1! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy I Part 1 - I Would Never Use THAC0 In Public Dec 18, 2023

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 393 Oh wow! This is the oldest RPG we've done for a season! But none of us were ready for the adorable sprites and price-gouging magic dealers of Final Fantasy I! Also: - The Brown Crystal - Paul Giamatti Kisses a Woman - Super Into Creed - The Manana Origins - Margot Robbie Could Go Into Anyone's House - The Opposite of Downtown Brown - A Walken Shower

This Week: We defeat the Lich in Final Fantasy I! Next Week: We Finish Final Fantasy 1! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy IV Part 5 - The Moon is For Boys Dec 11, 2023

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 392 Even after his Retron5 deleted all his saves, Johnny and the rest of Square Roots Podcast really do finish Final Fantasy IV! There's some kind of whale on the moon, and some crystals I guess, and then the game decides to beat the last boss for you which was a bit of a shock. Also: - Zeromus, Zero Fuss - Vanessa Leisure - I Have Another Recipeh - Am I The Asshole For Watching This? - Sing the Song In Your Heart - Do Prayers Rhyme? - Do airships go up? - Sqwale?

This Week: We finish Final Fantasy IV! Next Week: We defeat the Lich in Final Fantasy I! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy IV Part 4 - Everyone Loves a Penultimate Episode Dec 04, 2023

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 391 Sadly Jim is missing on this party killing episode of Square Roots! So Vanessa, Johnny and Matthew finally get to visit a matriarchy, experience Rubicante's Sexy Leg Peek, and swap a few airships. Also: - Taskmaster VR - Scott Pilgrim Starring Mae West - Final Fantasy's Least Successful Party? - Bloodthirsty for Party Members - He Can Use Two Swords at the Same Time!

This Week: We defeat the Demon Wall! Next Week: We finish Final Fantasy IV!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy IV Part 3 - Let Baigans Be Baigans Nov 27, 2023

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 390 Much to Jim's delight things take a tragic turn in this dramatic chunker of Final Fantasy IV! There's self-sacrifice, double bump amnesia, betrayals, de-trayals, and even a fantastic journey to the center of the earth! Also: - Women Love Men Who Jump - Lussy - The Under a Dark Influence Defense - Long Flowing Jareth Hair - A Water Plane - The Watermelon Cagnazzo

This Week: We meet the Dwarves in the underworld! Next Week: We defeat the Demon Wall!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Would You Eat This Bird 2023 Nov 20, 2023

Show notes

Happy American Thanksgiving! Or, if you live elsewhere, the second to last week of November!

In celebration of this holiday, and due to all of us travelling this week, please enjoy Johnny asks Matthew, Jim, Vanessa and Doctor Steven Stone: Would You Eat This Bird?

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy IV Part 2 - The Pasta Elemental Nov 13, 2023

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 389 On this second chunker of Final Fantasy IV, Cecil drops the dark sword for something a little lamer. And the Square Roots crew, minus Vanessa who is spiralling into the air due to a malady, delights in the change and in the introduction of Milon / Scarmiglione. Oh, and there's the adorable twins Palom and Porum! Also: - Congrats Gen-Z For "Mid" - Chuck E Cheese, Child Casino - I Got Zucked! - The Office of Relief - Karate Man

This Week: Cecil does his class change! Next Week: We meet the Dwarves in the underworld!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy IV Part 1 - All Nut November Nov 06, 2023

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 388 Anything could happen on Halloween! Silent Hill could turn into a show. We could all start playing Final Fantasy, the fourth just so you know. Number Five has its butts! Number six destroys the world! But on Halloween, your BLOOD begins to CURL. Something spooky's going on! Also: - Is This The First Good Final Fantasy?! - That's Why They Call It Default! - Is That A Tampon Joke? - Tellah Says the Line! - Vanessa's on-location research!

This Week: We retrieve the sand crystal in Final Fantasy IV! Next Week: Cecil does his class change!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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