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Square Roots – THE Classic RPG Podcast — Games & Hobbies
Square Roots – THE Classic RPG Podcast

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they’re the fun kind of dumb, and that’s what counts.

Latest Episodes:

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 10 - The Michael Emmerson VR Experience May 27, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 415 For once the game has some respect for you as you have to search for Dio and a stuffed robocat on this music-filled episode of Square Roots. Aerith drops her single, Jessie does interpretive dance, and Don Corneo's hype men bring early 90s bad TV commercial rapping realness. Also: - The Horse Heresy - Blah Blah Blah Versus Crab Claws - ...Beehicle? - Motorboat Yon Tiddies - Vanessa Tuba Heckles Wedge's Funeral - Like Something On Modern Family - Oh, Chadley's in this? - Francis Ford Coppola Weird Dracula Levels Of Hot Armour - No Fam, She Was Not Lit

This Week: Finish Chapter 12, A Golden Key!

Next Week: Finish Chapter 13, Where Angels Fear To Tread!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 9 - Li'l Grape Nuts May 20, 2024

Show notes

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 9 - Li'l Grape Nuts Square Roots - Episode 414 Teacher Jim's gone so it's party time on this episode of Square Roots! In this chunker of Final Fantasy VII we head to Nibelheim and find things a little less burnt than anticipated. Also: - - A Whole Lot of X-Men '97 Talk - Vanessa Is Too Lazy To Send 400,000 Emails - Man Has Been Awoken By Long White-Haired Femboys - This Bird's Power Is Piss - Taft Is A Big Boi - Who'd They Make The Giant Pancakes For Then? - I'm Gonna Have To Kiss That Dog

This Week: Finish Chapter 11, The Long Shadow of Shinra! Next Week: Finish Chapter 12, A Golden Key!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 8 - Oh No Sweetie, You're Very Stupid May 13, 2024

Show notes

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 8 - Oh No Sweetie, You're Very Stupid Square Roots - Episode 413 Oh boy! Another memorable chunk of Final Fantasy VII expanded, broadened, padded and filled in ways both good, great and kinda okay. Some of us don't like the birds. Some of us love the birds. Meanwhile, Aerith grabs the mic at a Planetology conference, Red XIII turns into an anime protagonist, and Bugenhagen is kind of a jerk. Also: - Tokyo Ghost Drift - Shoving Your Gayness Down Jim's Throat - Wedge's Hereditary Smash Cut - Reeve's Resume - Let's Talk About Soul Reaver - Piano Man Came Out 75 Years Ago Today - #HotBroads - Return of the Nerds

This Week: Finish Chapter 10, Watcher of the Vale! Next Week: Finish Chapter 11, The Long Shadow of Shinra!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 7 - TOP! THAT! TWINK! May 06, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 412 On this week's episode of Square Roots we explore the Gongaga region of Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth and have one serious question: Did Aerith go to school? She couldn't, right? Because she was in Hojo jail? Was she home schooled? Was she Hojome schooled? We've got the answers for you, so listen and find out! Also: - Yet More Godzilla Movie Talk - Colour and Seduction - Reactors Are For Boys - Is That Bronco Tiny? - More Crisis Core Lore Drops - He Ate That Bird

This Week: Finish Chapter 9, The Planet Stirs! Next Week: Finish Chapter 10, Watcher of the Vale!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 6 - He Had A Megaphone, Like He's Mister Brightside Apr 29, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 411 It's Vanessa's favourite part of the game, and you can easily see why: there's dance battles! Flexing bears! Spooky ooky hotels! Pretend ghosts! Mass shootings! Even more minigames! With Vanessa as this game's hype-woman, how could it go wrong? Also: - Matthew Bad - Twink-Petitors - The Ultimate Cancellation - Galaxy Rangers Is Just Star Fox - Fremen, Short for Frenchmen

This Week: Finish Chapter 8, All That Glitters! Next Week: Finish Chapter 9, The Planet Stirs!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 5 - New Character Just Dropped Apr 22, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 410 If she only could, Yuffie'd make a deal with Cloud, and they would swap their places. She'd be running up that road, running up that hill, with no problems. Come on, Tifa. Come on, Aerith. Let her steal this materia from you now. But Cloud is too busy with a little headache from the green static of repressed memories to listen, and but at least they can exchange the experience (points). Also: - Sweebos! - I don't Think It's Happiness Good Times - They WRote This In the Recording Studio - Superman Entered the Speed Force - That's Sahz's Thing

This Week: Finish Chapter 7, What We Left Behind! Next Week: Finish Chapter 8, All That Glitters!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 4 - Put Barret In A Speedo, You Cowards Apr 15, 2024

Show notes

How do you feel about minigames? What about a whole chunker of minigames? Not interested? What if I told you it was a BEACH EPISODE! But a beach episode that only lets you pick out swimwear for three out of four of the humans in your party at the time. Yes, the plot is put on hold for a moment as we park Segways, go on a photo hunt, and play some Doggy Rocket League. Please don't listen past the credits with kids around. You'll understand why. Also: - The Sydney Sweeney of Video Games - Either A Straight Thing or An American Thing - The Original American Psycho - Kreen's Blood - "What's Up With Americans?" on iHeartRadio - All the Dead Things - "I Just Lied." This Week: We reach Mt. Corel! Next Week: Finish Chapter 7!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 3 - Matt's Funds Drive Apr 08, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 408 Shine, shine! It's bald time. Finally us bald folks can see ourselves represented on screen in this rhythm game packed chunker of Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth! Plus you can finally donate to a non-Patreon related Matt bank account for some reason and solve a challenging boat puzzle. Also: - Paid in Beefaroni - Bring me pictures of Truman Capote! - Matt the Grumpy Libertarian - Is Japan the Idaho of the world? - Dasmalchian Syndrome

This Week: We finish Chapter 4! Next Week: We reach Mt. Corel!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 2 - A Massive Tifa Moment Apr 01, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 407 Johnny's out so it's another All-American episode, full of America's favourite passtimes: ball punching! Very long X-Men tangents! Chadley! Boob punching? Also: - Midwest Emo - Wrench Cheeseburger - Who's Galactica's Mom? - More Like Pottycast - "I love living in Rocket Town!" Vs "Fuck Shinra!" - Chadley in a Wig

This Week: We finish Chapter 3! Next Week: We finish Chapter 4!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 1 - Matt Wants This Episode To Be Called Sluttiroth Mar 25, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 406 Square Roots plays a totally new game! Okay, not TOTALLY new. Some of it is a quarter century old. But it's somewhat new! And it just came out! This is different! This is strange! Change is bad! But we're rolling with it. So we are playing Square Enix's Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, and get through the Nibelheim Incident in Chapter 1 and Matt tries to make Sluttiroth happen. Also: - Bones Knitting - Avengers Persona Game For Grownups 😉 - A Perfect Pooping Game - Sexual Tension Causing Electrical Interference - Want To Go Walkies, Pup? - Sean Connery Wishes He Was That Beefy

This Week: We finish Chapter 1 in Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth, a totally old and classic RPG Next Week: We finish Chapter 3.

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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