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Square Roots – THE Classic RPG Podcast — Games & Hobbies
Square Roots – THE Classic RPG Podcast

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they’re the fun kind of dumb, and that’s what counts.

Latest Episodes:

Quantum Break Part 3 - All The Ponies Are Made of Butter Aug 05, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 425 On this temporal episode of Square Roots, we explore the conclusion of the Time Knife. It's so long. So, so long. Does SLOBBO die? Does anyone peel off a mask? Whose baby is that, anyway? All this and so much more on tonight's episode of Night Springs. Also: - Matt Is A Blue Mage Now - UFC Surgical Tubing Strangle Attack - More Hatch Lore - Under the Bridge Downtown - It's Not A Frame Rate Drop, It's A Quantum Stutter - Pool Swimming - Beth Did 9/11 Twice

This Week: We finish Act 3 and 4 and Episode 3 and 4 of Quantum Break! Next Week: We finish Quantum Break!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Quantum Break Part 2 - NO LANGOLIERS TALK Jul 29, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 424 It's a time mix-up game! On this episode of Square Roots we play through Act 2 of Quantum Break, which involves a lot of time ships, time jumps, time shields, time soldiers and time knives. And a severe bob. Just a heads up we misgender Ezra Miller a few times - we'll make sure to be more cognizant of this going forward. Also: - What If Alex Horne Is A Ghoul? - Trashcan Them - DigiLiam - A Straight Up Half Hour Where We All Review The Stand (2020) - Let's Call Her Amby - I'm Football Boy And I Play The Most Good Football - Matthew Summons Rappin' Nessa

This Week: We finish Act 2 and Episode 2 of Quantum Break! Next Week: We finish Act 3 and 4 and Episode 3 and 4 of Quantum Break!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Quantum Break Part 1 - Gandalf has a HUGE ASS Jul 22, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 423 Please note Johnny misread the number of episodes on his Amazon Prime Video app, and was wrong. Very wrong. You don't need to tell Johnny he was wrong. There are 9 episodes to the 2020 The Stand miniseries. Not 6. Each host has, in turn, told Johnny he was wrong after recording and that's terrible. Alright! It's time to break time, or some quantums. What exactly is a quantum? For years Johnny thought it was a time thing, but learned that this was again very wrong. We're playing Quantum Break by Remedy. The Remedy is that it's serious, it's a dangerous liason. Also the sky is dark because this game is FULL OF STARS! Also: - MyDreamz Dot Net - Door Versus Hatch - Why Are You Looting That Desk - Time Cop Rules Versus Lost Rules - My Glasses Are Gonna Be Circles - Thurgolicious Definition

This Week: We finish Act 1 and Episode 1 of Quantum Break! Next Week: We finish Act 2 and Episode 2 of Quantum Break!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Fallout 3 Part 5 - Biwwy's Waser Wifle Jul 15, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 422 On this episode of Square Roots we listen to a few more of Sticky's stories in the divisive Fallout 3. Oh yeah, we also finish the game! And there's a robot that sounds like Optimus Prime! And we deal with the problems haunting our Vault! And maybe talk an Ant Lady out of being an Ant Lady and a Robot Man out of being a Robot Man. Also: - The Vanessa Witch TV Show - That Is Men! Put Them In The Bear Suits! - Is Liberty Prime Optimus? - That Bible Fella

This Week: Finish the Game Suggested Side-Quest: Trouble on the Homefront, The Superhero Gambit Next Week: We finish Act 1 and Episode 1 of Quantum Break!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Fallout 3 Part 4 - Vanessa's Acers Jul 08, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 421 On this episode of Square Roots, we get to the ROOT of Harold's problem. You might say we cut to the HEART of the issue. And we RESCUE CHILDREN from a slavers camp, which isn't a pun but merely a factual thing that happens. Plus we hear a 100% Authentic Liam Neeson Death Rattle, and prove once and for all that the only thing Humongous about Mungos is our hearts. But not like Harold's humongous heart, I mean metaphorically. Also: - Vanessa Should Back Off Her Burns - Red Head Little Red Boy Cameron Jedi Games - Shoot Their Gibbly Mouth - Convenient Watching Pipe - How Did You Think This Would End?

This Week: Gaining Entrance To Little Lamplight Via Rescue From Paradise Quest, Big Trouble in Big Town, Oasis Next Week: Finish the Game Suggested Side-Quest: Trouble on the Homefront, The Superhero Gambit

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Fallout 3 Part 3 - Gothroughmaze Jul 01, 2024

Show notes

Fallout 3 Part 3 - Gothroughmaze Square Roots - Episode 420 This time we're finally getting our Nic Cage on and STEALING THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE. Also maybe the Bill of Rights and Magna Carta (??). But this requires doing some odd jobs for a robot and keeping Alias's Sydney Bristow alive, which is harder than it sounds. Also: - She Got That Peabody-Ody-Ody - Jeremy Piven's Pyst (And Hot Broadway Goss) - His Power Is Billions of dollars - Neat Comics and Stuff - Teen Talk With Connor

This Week: Reunite with Daddy! And do Tenpenny Tower and steal the declaration of independence. Next Week: Gaining Entrance To Little Lamplight Via Rescue From Paradise Quest, Big Trouble in Big Town, Oasis

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Fallout 3 Part 2 - It's Fan Art Jun 24, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 419 Oh boy, there's more Fallout 3! And this time we meet Three Dog, aroo aroo aroooooo! Then we go on a caper to get a radar dish off of a lunar lander. Plus we save a boy from some ants, probably. And meet some rangers! Also: - The Legend of Zelda: Mysteries of Magic - Johnny Mixes up CDI and 3D0 - They had to sit on the Gore Bags - Cheesy Eggs Are So Gay - We've Never Met

This Week: Complete Those! and help Three Dog fix Galaxy News Radio! Next Week: Reunite with Daddy! And do Tenpenny Tower and steal the declaration of independence.

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Fallout 3 Part 1 - A Vanessa Curated Fallout 3 Experience Jun 17, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 418 So it's now time for a new game! Huzzah! And it's a Fallout! This time we venture to the Capitol Wasteland and everyone is excited to leave the vault and see the world outside. But also Johnny is a magician and Jim has discovered the joys of Andraste's command prompt. Also: - VR Chat Is For Furries - The World's Original Virtual Reality - Walking On Uteruses - The Fallout Stepdad Mod - A Greyer Shade of Brown

This Week: Complete Blood Ties and find out where your Dad went in Megaton in Fallout 3! Next Week: Complete Those! and help Three Dog fix Galaxy News Radio!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 12 - You'll Sit In Your Room And Read Dealing With Dragons Until You're A Feminist Jun 10, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 417 It's the end of Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth and ALL OUR TAKES ARE SO HOT! Was this game good? Bad? Did it stick the landing? What the hell happened? Listen and find out! Also: - Love Yord Fandlar - Long Pants Get Real Hot - Chadley Is The Architect - Aerith Did A Sliders - A Pride Portal - The Shell Houses Were Iconic - Aerith's Throat Tattoo

This Week: Finish Final Fantasy VII Rebirth! Next Week: Complete Blood Ties and find out where your Dad went in Megaton in Fallout 3!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 11 - Vanessa Has a Number She's Looking to Hit Jun 03, 2024

Show notes

Square Roots - Episode 416 Either this chapter has a HUGE CHANGE THAT PUTS EVERYTHING INTO A BRAND NEW CONTEXT or it has A VERY MINOR CHANGE THAT DOESN'T REALLY CHANGE ANYTHING and depending on who you listen to you may feel it's one or the other. So what is it? You'll have to play through Chapter 13 to find out! Also: - Advent Children: Scotch and Kotch - It's like Sharpening A Pencil - The Return of Leslie, The Boy With The Hat - The Irish Riddler - Miss Remember

This Week: Finish Chapter 13, Where Angels Fear To Tread! Next Week: Finish Final Fantasy VII Rebirth!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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