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    Games & Hobbies

    Square Roots – THE Classic RPG Podcast

    Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they’re the fun kind of dumb, and that’s what counts.

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    Latest Episodes:
    Square Roots Christmas Gift Guide 2024 Dec 23, 2024
    Show notes

    We decided to drop a special Christmas themed bonus episode for you this week! It's the Square Roots Christmas Gift Guide 2024!!!

    Join us as we discuss what presents we got for all your favorite RPG characters.

    We'll be back next week with our regularly scheduled Sea of Stars episode.

    Sea of Stars - Part 3: Bisects! Dec 16, 2024
    Show notes

    Square Roots - Episode 443 Level Up Starts at 02:00:30!

    It's a Marvel's Captain America: Civil War on this podcast, as Matthew's Dreamatorium Podcast Within A Podcast is squaring off against Johnny's Dreamcast, a podcast within a podcast. But also we played more Sea of Stars! And we got to the big End of Act 1 twist! Gasp! Things change! Allegiences are challenged! A town with a terrible name has been created. Also: - Blue and Jinkos! - Real Magus fight vibes! - Obligatory Joey from Blossom reference! - Wesowection! - Vanessa's Lazy Findom Kink Returns! - Ah! The Chrono Cross Problem! - You Can't Eat A Bag!

    This Week: Play to the end of the Tower of Ansudlo! Next Week: Play to the end of the Clockwork Castle!

    Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

    Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Sea of Stars - Part 2: A Neck Romancer Dec 09, 2024
    Show notes

    Square Roots - Episode 442 Level Up Starts at 02:23:18

    The adventure truly begins as Johnny joins forces with Matt, Jim and Vanessa to tackle the pressing question about Sea of Stars: What the hell is this Wheels game anyway? Also we meet some fourth wall breaking pirates and fight two separate necromancers. Also: - Garl is the Jimminy Cricket - Johnny Hates The Algorithm - Smeared With Working Designs - Jim Only Knows American Who's Line - A Fun Lil Zomboi - Stonheim Sam

    This Week: Playing through the Necromancer boss fight! Next Week: Play to the end of the Tower of Ansudlo!

    Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

    Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Sea of Stars - Part 1: But Have You Seen A Whole Boob? Dec 02, 2024
    Show notes

    Square Roots - Episode 441 Level Up Starts At 01:50:15

    On this celestial episode of Square Roots, Jim guides Vanessa and Matt through the opening of 2023's beloved throwback style RPG, Sea of Stars. That's right: Vanessa plays a pixel game like some kind of baby, and it doesn't make her feel better when the game just keeps on the baby-themes for the first half hour or so. But will these special babies birthed by a moon stork save the day, or will they need Garl and his big Ramus energy? Also: - Matthew Rants About DLC Being Nominated For Game Of The Year - The Fat Character Always Has To Be The Cook - Vanessa Eats The World - Jim Loves A Montage Song - It's Just Lavos

    This Week: Meet the Elder Mist! Next Week: Playing through the Necromancer boss fight!

    Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

    Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Would You Eat This Bird? The 2024 Edition Nov 25, 2024
    Show notes

    Square Roots - American Thanksgiving Bonus On this Square Roots, we're going to learn how to say no to drugs when a 8 year old tries to give you free weed. Or how you'll deflate like a balloon on your couch. Wait, no, that's not what we do on this episode. On this episode we look at sixteen birds - 15 of which are from Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth so be aware of mild FF7 Rebirth spoilers.

    This Week: Enjoy a lovely game of Would You Eat This Bird?! Next Week: Meet the Elder Mist!

    Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

    Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Dishonored Part 6: BAMF! Nov 18, 2024
    Show notes

    Square Roots - Episode 440 Level Up Starts at 1:47:45! Today is all about silly funny fun. There's goofy fun adventures, and our bestest princess of light and good and low chaos allows an old man to continue to live tied to machines and under the control of his slightly mad nurse. She also helps an unconscious woman have her dream wedding with a corpse. ALL IN THE NAME OF GOOD!

    - Daud Puts the U into Dad - Splinter, Dead, Dura and Soft Cells - You Can't Get A Canal - The Truth Of The Dressmaker - The Teen Witches of Brigmore - A Sewer Adventure! - A Witch With A Waist - You Go Into Paintings In A Lot Of Games

    This Week: Finish The Witches of Brigmore! Next Week: Enjoy a lovely game of Would You Eat This Bird?!

    Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

    Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Dishonored Part 5: Big Labia Energy Nov 11, 2024
    Show notes

    Dishonored Part 5: Big Lesbian Energy

    Square Roots Episode 439

    This ep has a LOT of positive energy! We're all in a GREAT mood!

    • Too much talk about labias
    • Imperial Majesty Vanessa
    • Hot Gay News!
    • Johnny pulls a real life Mr. Bean and plays the wrong DLC
    • EVERYTHING IS AWESOME

    This Week: Knife of Dunwall

    Next Week: Finish The Witches of Brigmore!

    Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

    Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Dishonored Part 4: Is Harry Anderson An 80s Era Brian David Gilbert? Nov 04, 2024
    Show notes

    Dishonored Part 4: Is Harry Anderson An 80s Era Brian David Gilbert? Square Roots - Episode 438 Level Up Starts at 1:55:00! Apologies to Italy, again. There are disparaging remarks made on whether Johnny did or did not finish Dishonored. These are all fabrications. Johnny has submitted video evidence to the Facegroup Group. He has the cheevos to prove it. These accusations are flagrant. They're idolatrous. And they are wrong.

    - Paul-i-tics - Laurie Metcalf for Mortal Kombat - Matt Is Lost in the World of the Go-Go 90s - Mister Bean, the Original Sim - A Crower, Not A Shower - Making Soup With Granny - Russian Water

    This Week: Finish the main game! Next Week: Finish The Witches of Brigmore!

    Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

    Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Dishonored Part 3: Are You Going To Believe The Outsider, Or Are You Going To Believe Adam Christopher? Oct 28, 2024
    Show notes

    Square Roots - Episode 437 Level Up Starts at 2:01:33! Finally, we get to go to a party! And what a party it is. Lady Boyle sure had a blast in Jim's game. It was one hot party! Her outfit was straight fire! Jim shot her with incendiary bullets! Also Johnny and Vanessa do some ethical kidnapping, and Matthew is sad he didn't just kill all three sisters. Oh yeah, and we deal with the Lord Regent!

    - It's A Part in Canada! - Some Sisters Are Triplets! - Doxxxed! - Yeah But It's Webber... - YOU CAN POSSESS A FISH?! - Hanging Turt?

    This Week: Finish Lady Boyle's Last Party and Return To The Tower! Next Week: Finish the main game!

    Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

    Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Dishonored Part 2: There Are No Skirts Or Dresses In This Universe Oct 21, 2024
    Show notes

    Square Roots - Episode 436 Level Up Starts at 1:56:45! Don't worry if you tranq'd the dogs like Matt did, the dogs are fine! They were just asleep, and now they're at big farms in Tyria where the dogs can run and play! Such are the cruel realities of Dishonored, the Arkane Studios immersive funulator!

    - Lactaid is the PreP of the Dairy World - Let Me Solas Him - Vanessa Doesn't Like To Acknowledge The Passage of Time - There's A Scary in the Sewer - Are Ill People Zombies? - More Of A Johnny English Episode - I DON'T KNOW YOU - Electricity Makes People Sleepy

    This Week: Finish The House of Pleasure and The Royal Physician! Next Week: Finish Lady Boyle's Last Party and Return To The Tower!

    Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

    Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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