Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Grim Fandango Part 1: A Mnemonic Tube May 12, 2025

Show notes

Grim Fandango Part 1: A Mnemonic Tube Square Roots - Episode 463 Quest Log: 29:00 Level Up: 02:05:00

Welcome to the BONE ZONE! This week on the Bone Zone we're checking out LucasArts's pinnacle of adventure gaming, Grim Fandango. In it you start as a reaper, which Matthew informs us is named Grim Fandango. Join these Hep Cats as we get people murdered, trick penguins, and abuse the trust of your man-child elemental buddy.

Also: A Little Tiny Computer! Nice Meche! Matt's Wild and Wacky Florida Tour! It Was Rutger Hauer! MANNY, YOU PROMISED!

This Week: Finish Year I and Year II in Grim Fandango! Next Week: Finish Year III and Year IV in Grim Fandango!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Grandia II Part 6: The Birthplace of the Gods Was A Research Facility May 05, 2025

Show notes

Grandia II Part 6: The Birthplace of the Gods Was A Research Facility Square Roots - Episode 462 Quest Log: 28:40 Level Up: 01:48:15

GOTCHA! The Birthplace of the Gods was a research facility, which definitely means that Granas and Valmar were scientists who got turned into gods, and weren't aliens. With the Birthplace of the Gods being a research facility my logic is flawless and Matthew, who still needs to mail me ten dollars, is left speechless as we finish GameArts's classic JRPG!

Also: We All Have An Oblivion We'd Rather Be Playing Chris Plante Sent To A Nice Click Farm Upstate A Lot Of Tiddy Talk It. Popped. Out. Tomax and Xamot Fan Fiction Vanessa's Private Network In The Krang Bin

This Week: Finish Grandia II! Next Week: Finish Year I and Year II in Grim Fandango!

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Grandia II Part 5: Mareg's Bara Tiddies! Apr 28, 2025

Show notes

Grandia II Part 5: Mareg's Bara Tiddies! Square Roots - Episode 461 Level Up Starts at 01:53:00

Johnny gets to see Mareg's big manly chest in a pre-rendered cutscene, and he does NOT shut up about it throughout this episode. Sure, the Dreamcast game's pre-rendered cutscenes have the look of 1996's Tekken 2, and the scene is bizarrely animated, but Johnny hasn't been on a date in a while so give him a break. Oh yeah, this week in GameArts's Grandia II we also discover a sword that may have a second purpose! AND GO TO THE MOON!

Also: Proud Boy King! Vanessa Will Never See That Ten Dollars! Elena Likes Drinking Juice And Singing Gospel Songs About Granas! The Squeak-baa Pasture Is Empty! Classic Disc Three Crazy! Uterus! OR Womb! Who knows! Matt's Manly Football Injury!

This Week: Return to Cyrum! Next Week: Finish Grandia II!

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Grandia II Part 4: Droppin' Hot Yomis Apr 21, 2025

Show notes

Grandia II Part 4: Droppin' Hot Yomis Square Roots - Episode 460 Level Up Starts at 01:51:00

It's Straight Night this week on Square Roots! That's right, the gay is gone, so it's just Matthew, Jim, and Vanessa. Finally they can get to the straight truth: they love being in traffic. Also they played some more Grandia II, this time in a beefy chunker that takes them from a princely mystery to shrimp island and finally the protagonist Ryudo's home town!

Also: Matt Gets Weirdly Aggro About His Vote Weak Nuts Johnny, Vanessa's Little Helmet Hype Man Milennia is the Personification of Elena's Diabetes Vanessa's Vindication Song Returns

This Week: Defeat the Horn of Valmar! Next Week: Return to Cyrum!

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Grandia II Part 3: Bursting Through the Doors of the St Heim Inn Apr 14, 2025

Show notes

Grandia II Part 3: Bursting Through the Doors of the St Heim Inn Square Roots - Episode 459 Level Up Starts at 02:08:00

This time on Square Roots Jim's off on an adventure, so it's just Vanessa, Johnny and Matthew trying to sort out what they got wrong about Switch II news this week. But things get weird in this chunk of Game Arts's Grandia II, where we put down a little girl who has been giving a magical third eye, meet a religious fundamentalist who Johnny suspects is gonna be a villain, and finally get to cuddle up to Young Pope Daddy Bear.

Also: Jim loves to eat a raw chicken. A legally distinct cover of Madonna's "Sorry" Sondra & Lezzlie What if Daredevil Grow A Weird Little Eye The Lowest Bar to Clear Ryudo Finally Has a Good Take

This Week: Play until we leave the St. Heim Papal State! Next Week: Defeat the Horn of Valmar!

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Grandia II Part 2: The Gen-X Cheech and Chong Apr 07, 2025

Show notes

Grandia II Part 2: The Gen-X Cheech and Chong Square Roots - Episode 458 Level Up Starts at 01:55:00

Johnny asks a question that may make you spit out your drink, be warned. Do not drink any liquids while listening to this episode. But anyway! Grandia II! Game Arts's zany adventure gets into gear: you've got the evil brother, a dark secret buried under a town, and 1910s style racism! Plus we talk about the Switch 2 reveal for a long time.

Also: Mouse Control Nintendo Spy Cam First Nintendo Game With Finger Stuff Go Back To Lollipop Lane! He's Ryude To People Visible Personality Line Would You Hug A Tween Like That?

This Week: Defeat the evil tongue of Valmar boss! Next Week: Play until we leave the St. Heim Papal State

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Grandia II Part 1: Max Load Mar 31, 2025

Show notes

Grandia II Part 1: Max Load Square Roots - Episode 457 Level Up Starts at 01:58:30

Are you ready to dive back into the exciting world of Game Arts's Grandia on this exciting new chapter of Square Roots? We ask all the important questions, like what is a geohound? A guy looking for rocks? A risk breaker? A dog looking for rocks? We can't be sure, but we do know one thing: Ryudo is a big ol' asshole. Hopefully this is setting him up for a Zidane style JRPG character arc.

Also: A Little Baby Bird Sega CDX > Dishwasher Slide a Dollar Under Matt's Door Magic Comes From Eggs A Common Pope Name

This Week: Get to the city of Agear in Grandia II! Next Week: Defeat the evil tongue of Valmar boss!

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 5: Stevie Nicks, You're Going To Jail Mar 24, 2025

Show notes

Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 5: Stevie Knicks, You're Going To Jail Square Roots - Episode 456 Level Up Starts at 01:57:45

We speed towards the finale of Sonical Chronicles by BioWare, fast like a hedgehog through a loop-de-loop. Does Sonic nail the landing? Or is he all out of rings? Vanessa, Johnny and Matthew debate the pros and cons and finally decide: are they Squarely Against or Roundly For this speedy rodent adventure?

Also: I Can Be Any Kind of Hulk I Wanna Be, It's 2017 Not Agreeing Bad Boyness I'm D-d-d-danny They're All Children, Johnny Each Party Needs A Hedgehog

This Week: Finish Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood! Next Week: Get to the city of Agear in Grandia II!

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 4: Bon Vi Von Mar 17, 2025

Show notes

Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 4: Bon Vi Von Square Roots - Episode 455 Level Up Starts at 01:38:00

Finally the whole squad is back for an episode where we are definitely very good at staying on topic as we get to the strange sci-fi worlds of Chapter 7 and 8 of Sonical Chronicles! There's rock men, goo men, and even robomen! But not Eggman, he stayed home.

Also: An Exhaustive Explanation of Julius Pringles Hot Rahul Kohli News Vanessa's Tight Five on Hit Single Your Love Pan's Just For Women Michaelogical

This Week: Finish Chapters 7 & 8! Next Week: Finish Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood!

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022

Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 3: The Return of Boys Night Mar 10, 2025

Show notes

Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Part 3: The Return of Boys Night Square Roots - Episode 454 Level Up Starts at 01:15:30

With Vanessa out at a show or something, it's another BOYS NIGHT! So gather round, crack open a beer, and name your favourite monster trucks with us as we play through two more chapters of Sonical Chronicles! There's meatbag hating robots! Annoying drones! Super cool ninja echidnas!

Also: Never Forget What Sonic Did To Metropolis Zone The Grandia Problem Strikes Back Matthew Hates A Split Party Shedding Chao Eggs Very Silly Robots

This Week: Finish Chapters 5 & 6! Next Week: Finish Chapters 7 & 8!

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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