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Soul Gum — Religion & Spirituality
Soul Gum

A self-development podcast with philosophical, psychological and literary flair hosted by Victoria Hutchins, the creator of @thedailyvictorian and nationally bestselling author of MAKE BELIEVE. Episodes every other Sunday.

Copyright: © by Victoria Hutchins

Latest Episodes:

How to Get Better at Confrontation Aug 03, 2025

Show notes

Confrontation is hard. But avoiding it is harder—on your peace, your relationships, and your self-respect. In this episode, explore how to get better at having tough conversations. We’ll look to Aristotle, Joan Didion, and the Gottman institute’s world-renowned research on conflict to create a roadmap for navigating confrontation without abandoning yourself or bulldozing anyone else. If you spiral after hitting send, avoid awkward conversations for weeks while playing out fake arguments in the shower, or disassociate every time someone says “we need to talk,” this one's for you.

EPISODE OUTLINE

00:00 Intro

05:19 1. The correlation between confrontation and respect

06:27 Joan Didion On Self Respect

08:47 The trolley problem (Foote)

14:33 2. Approaching confrontation practically

16:33 Phronesis (Aristotle)

18:35 Kant’s categorical imperative

20:50 Thich Nhat Hanh’s three gates

23:27 3. Confrontation dos and don’ts

23:49 the Gottman institute

24:44 Confrontation don’ts

26:14 Confrontation dos

26:17 The magic ratio for healthy relationships

26:53 Bids for attention

27:59 Soft startups

29:08 Repair attempts

32:09 Lightning round recap

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

⁠Joan Didion, On Self Respect (Vogue, 1961)
⁠Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics (c. 350 BCE)
⁠Immanuel Kant, Groundwork for the Metaphysics of Morals (1785)
⁠Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Art of Communicating (2013)
⁠Drs. John & Julie Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999)

MY LINKS

5 Habits of Great Conversationalists Jul 27, 2025

Show notes

Want to become a better conversationalist? You should! Good conversations can open doors, build friendships, and even change your life. But in an age of goldfish attention spans, hot takes, and chronic fear of being seen, real connection is harder than ever. The good news? Conversation is an art, but it’s also a science. In this episode, we walk through 5 things great conversationalists do differently, according to philosophy and psychology. If you want to feel less robotic on dates, network without cringing, vibe better with your friends, or just not panic when someone says “tell me about yourself,” this one’s for you.

EPISODE OUTLINE:

00:00 Intro

04:07 1. Seeing conversation as a skill

11:03 2. Starting lots of conversations

18:30 3. Asking more questions

25:06 4. Leaving room for the unexpected

29:08 5. Expecting reality, not hyperreality

33:27 Lightning round recap

36:19 Challenge

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Simulacra and Simulation, Jean Baudrillard (1981)

TALK: The Science of Conversation and The Art of Being Ourselves, Alison Wood Brooks (2025)

How to Get Unstuck Post-Crash Out Jul 20, 2025

Show notes

Feeling stuck, numb, or overwhelmed? Crashing out for the third time this week? Good news! Philosophy, the sad girl discipline of academia, has lots of advice for you. This episode breaks down 5 reasons why we get stuck according to philosophical greats like Franz Kafka, Soren Kierkegaard, Jean Paul Sartre, Albert Camus and more. We’ll talk about practical strategies to climb out of your spiral and start feeling like yourself again. If your search history includes ‘why am I like this’ and ‘how to feel okay again,’ press play.

EPISODE OUTLINE

00:00 Intro

04:53 You’re stuck because…

05:00 1. You’re free

05:18 The dizziness of freedom (Kierkegaard)

06:04 We’re condemned to be free (Sartre)

07:13 The fig tree allegory (Sylvia Plath)

13:21 2. You’re choosing information over experience

13:35 Mary’s Room hypothetical (Jackson)

22:49 3. You’ve outgrown a version of yourself

23:02 The Metamorphosis (Kafka)

26:54 4. You’re expecting sense in senseless places

27:04 The Trial (Kafka)

35:14 5. You think nothing matters

35:24 Mechanical life (Camus)

36:34 The moment of the absurd (Camus)

37:13 The myth of Sisyphus (Camus)

40:08 Lightning round recap

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

On Anxiety, Soren Kierkegaard (1844)

Being and Nothingness, Jean Paul Sartre (1943)

The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath (1963)

The Big Secret, Deepak Chopra (2008)

Epiphenomenal Qualia, Frank Jackson (1982)

The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka (1915)

The Trial, Franz Kafka (1925)

The Myth of Sisyphus, Albert Camus (1942)

Nietzsche’s 3 Steps to Soul-Deep Transformation Jul 13, 2025

Show notes

19th century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed every transformation followed a sacred three-step pattern. In this episode, we walk through the three metamorphoses of the soul from Nietzsche’s 1883 work Thus Spoke Zarathustra. We’ll talk about why a chapter of chaos might be necessary to become your fullest, truest self, and how Nietzsche’s stages apply to modern life. This episode is for you if you're experiencing or anticipating a big shift, no matter whether it relates to your career, relationships, creativity, spirituality, identity, or everything at once. If you’re feeling lost, restless, or ready for reinvention, this one’s for you.

EPISODE OUTLINE

00:00 Intro

06:34 The camel spirit

11:32 The lion spirit

17:25 The child spirit

25:40 Lightning round recap

26:43 Challenge

MY LINKS

• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Smart Girl Summer Toolkit Jul 06, 2025

Show notes

Thought daughters, this one’s for you. This episode is your guide to keeping your mind fed all summer long. In it, I share the note-taking system that’s changing my life, a 10 minute morning routine that primes your brain for creative work, recs for intellectually stimulating podcasts, books, and newsletters, and more.

EPISODE OUTLINE

00:00 Intro

02:14 1. Take notes

06:57 2. Write by hand

08:42 3. Get out of your echo chamber

11:01 4. Remember the Zeigarnik effect

14:54 5. Change your conversation norms

18:08 6. Practice hard attention

21:11 7. 10 minute morning rule

22:33 8. Chew your brain food

23:54 9. Show what you don’t know

26:20 Newsletter recs

27:41 Philosophy podcast recs

28:08 Poetry recs

29:40 Lightning round recap

8 Hard Truths for Seasons of Change Jun 29, 2025

Show notes

So your life just changed. Maybe you moved, your relationship ended, or you quit a job. You've found yourself in new territory without your usual routines, roles, or scripts. You're Googling “who even am I?” every night.

Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong. In this episode, I’m sharing 8 things I wish I knew during past seasons of change in my life. The in-between is uncomfortable, but it's also full of possibility. If you’re in a messy middle right now, this one’s for you.

EPISODE OUTLINE

03:35 How to follow your intuition

06:38 How to know the right choice

10:50 The effect of your ego

14:10 The impact of who you keep close

19:27 The importance of confrontation

23:21 The impact of tiny choices

26:40 How to shift into the next chapter

28:59 Hard versus wrong

SOURCES

Smoke filled room study

bell hooks, all about love

Audre Lorde essay: The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action

Churning of the ocean story from the Mahabharata

How to Plan Your Week to Change Your Life Jun 22, 2025

Show notes

How you spend your weeks is how you spend your life. In this episode, I walk through five powerful philosophical, psychological and spiritual concepts—including Nietzsche’s eternal return, Aristotle’s golden mean, the planning fallacy, and Parkinson’s Law—that will help you create a weekly routine you love. I also let you in on my own weekly routine, including a Sunday night ritual to rewire your brain and my top tips for planning weeks that change your life.

EPISODE OUTLINE

04:21 Nietzsche’s eternal return

12:27 Aristotle’s golden mean

19:04 The jar principle & Parkinson’s law

23:16 “I don’t have time” vs. “it’s not a priority”

25:28 The planning fallacy (Kahneman)

31:59 Dharma

37:22 My weekly routine

MY LINKS

• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

How to Care Less What People Think May 25, 2025

Show notes

The bad news is you’re always going to care what people think. The good news is it doesn’t have to control your life. In this episode, I walk through 9 ways to rethink your relationship with external validation. If you want to be done letting other people’s opinions steer your every move, this one’s for you.

EPISODE OUTLINE

00:00 Intro

05:28 1. Caring what people think is natural

07:14 2. You can’t control how you feel, but you can control what you do

16:07 3. You should care what some people think

18:16 4. Not caring what people think ≠ not caring about people

19:45 5. Chasing approval always backfires eventually

26:21 6. You don’t know what people think

30:29 7. Other people are not thinking about you as much as it feels like they are

35:32 8. You care more about other people’s opinions when you don’t have your own

37:28 9. It’s okay to want to be with people who make you feel good

39:27 Lightning round recap

42:29 Challenge

EPISODE LINKS

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

• Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

• The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

• The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

• The Art of Living by Epictetus

• Spotlight Effect Study

• Social Rejection Triggers Physical Pain Brain Centers

• Surgeon General's Report on the Health Impact of Loneliness

MY LINKS

• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

How to Find Your True Self According to Philosophy May 18, 2025

Show notes

Is the self something we find—or something we create? We’re constantly told to “be ourselves,” but the world teaches us fast that we also need to be likable, marketable, and hot. No wonder we’re all confused. In this episode, we dive into how different philosophers—from Socrates to Simone de Beauvoir to Carl Jung—understood the search for the true self and how their insights can help us stop performing and start living more honestly. If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing your personality instead of living it, this one’s for you.

EPISODE OUTLINE

00:00 Intro

05:49 Sigmund Freud

09:08 Attachment theory (Bowlby & Ainsworth)

10:55 Carl Jung’s theory on masks and shadows

12:15 The chill girl mask (Gone Girl)

13:34 Shapeshifter (MAKE BELIEVE)

14:38 The masks vs. the Self

15:04 Rousseau’s natural vs. social man

17:15 Using logic to hide from passion

17:55 For the ones who left (MAKE BELIEVE)

19:37 Freud, Jung & Rousseau reflection questions

21:48 Sartre: owning your agency as authenticity

23:08 Sartre’s concept of bad faith

24:12 Simone de Beauvoir on social class

26:41 The upper limit theory (Gay Hendricks)

27:25 But also, the playing field isn’t level

27:48 Sartre & de Beauvoir reflection questions

29:27 Heidegger: inauthenticity due to death denial

31:33 Authenticity vs. ethics and compassion

33:23 Authenticity vs. self-protection

34:01 Kant’s categorical imperative

34:48 Socrates: dying on the hill of authenticity

35:26 Socrates and Kant reflection questions

36:46 Nietzsche on creation of the true self

37:17 Does everyone have a calling?

38:19 Jealousy as a clue to your passions

38:33 The “love it for you, want it for me” folder

39:53 Nothing grows if you don’t water it

40:18 Nietzsche reflection questions

41:50 Lightning round recap

EPISODE LINKS

• Carl Jung, The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (1959) and Modern Man in Search of a Soul (1933)

• Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness (1943)

• Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex (1949)

• Authenticity episode of In Our Time: Philosophy

MY LINKS

• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

A 3-Step Roadmap Out of Your Rut May 11, 2025

Show notes

In a flop era that feels like it will never end? I know that feeling. If you’re in a rut—whether it’s burnout, a creative freeze, or a “what now” spiral after a big life change—I made this episode for you. I share about my own recent rut, what helped me get through it, and a practical 3-step roadmap grounded in neuroscience, psychology, and philosophy. This one’s part pep talk, part game plan, part love letter to anyone feeling stuck.

EPISODE OUTLINE

00:00 Intro

02:00 My “what now?” rut

06:46 Roadmap out of your rut

08:06 1. Get your story straight

08:29 You haven’t ruined your life

09:48 My bar exam story

15:48 You are not alone

16:26 Lifequakes

17:55 You are not lazy

18:54 Are you burnt out?

20:44 The classic existential crash out

22:14 Are you in functional freeze?

23:42 Perfectionism-procrastination-paralysis cycle

26:31 2. Make a plan

26:47 Friction audit (Adam Alter)

30:01 Smallest possible actions

32:47 Lower the bar or you won’t reach for it

33:43 The photography class experiment

38:13 3. Have grace for yourself

38:21 How dare you say you’re not trying?

39:20 What you have to give right now is enough

39:53 Lightning round recap

MY LINKS

• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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