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Is the Self-Care Era Making Us Bad Friends? Oct 30, 2022

Show notes

Is friendship harder than dating or are we all just a little gay? Who did friendship labels better, Aristotle or the Myspace Top 8? Was Alexander Hamilton bi or were we just more comfy with deep friend love back then? How do you make friends as an adult? Is the self care era making us bad friends? Can you love yourself well and love your friends well at the same time?

EPISODE SUMMARY

I. WHY IS MAKING FRIENDS SO HARD?(2:34)

a. no clear labels (3:22)

i. the myspace top 8 - a fleeting moment of clarity (5:47)

ii. aristotle's take on friendship labels (8:00)

b. no hallpass for jealousy (14:34)

i. alexander hamilton: bisexual or just comfy with friend love? (15:55)

c. no roadmap for initiating friendships (20:38)

d. we're all a little gay nowadays (24:05)

II. HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS AS AN ADULT? (27:25)

a. using the internet (28:05)

b. get okay with pleasure-based friendships (31:00)

c. be patient (32:07)

d. emotional openness (32:56)

e. following through (34:53)

III. IS THE SELF CARE ERA MAKING US BAD FRIENDS? (36:33)

a. 2 stories about flakiness (37:53)

b. the self care over everything era (43:57)

c. how can we love ourselves and our friends well at the same time? (46:40)

SOURCES

Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics

Glennon Doyle, Untamed

articlere: Alexander Hamilton being bi: https://tinyurl.com/53328d5d

self care tweet by @kevinfarzad: https://tinyurl.com/yrddpaw6

How I Rediscovered Discipline Post-Diet Culture & Hustle Culture Oct 30, 2022

Show notes

Is discipline a dirty word in your book? Hustle culture and diet culture have turned a lot of us against discipline. Should discipline have a place in our lives post-hustle culture? How do you redirect your discipline towards your passions instead of your body and your job? How do you unplug from hustle culture without quitting your job/school? How do you remember your passions post-burnout?

EPISODE SUMMARY:

I. WHAT IS DISCIPLINE? (4:19)

II. THE #GIRLBOSS ERA (7:02)

a. post-2008 recession: lean in or lose your job (8:09)

b. 2010s: hustle culture and glorification of overworking (11:04)

c. 2014: rise of the #girlboss (15:38)

d. mounting pressure to have a side hustle: MLMs and beyond (17:35)

e. meanwhile, diet culture reigns supreme (18:26)

III. BUT I DON'T WANNA BE A GIRLBOSS - THE FALL OF HUSTLE CULTURE (20:58)

a. COVID, the great resignation and mass burnout (24:10)

b. growing anti-diet culture sentiment (25:55)

c. “soft living" trend / rejection of discipline (27:34)

IV. TAKING BACK DISCIPLINE (31:22)

a. my experience with burnout & rejecting discipline (31:52)

b. what life without discipline actually looks like (38:37)

c. non-hustle-y examples of discipline + reframing discipline as devotion (42:03)

d. but what if I can’t unplug from hustle culture? I have a job lol (44:19)

e. what if I don’t even remember who I am outside of work/school? (50:29)

SOURCES:

Merriam Webster (definitions of discipline and self-control)

Brittanica (definition of will power)

Re: discipline in the Spartan military (https://tinyurl.com/htb6sfrz/)

Re: hours spent on work and school in the US (https://tinyurl.com/bdhn7wz9; https://tinyurl.com/yeykvhdp; National Center for Education Statistics from September 2006)

Re: diet culture in the 2010s (https://tinyurl.com/2p5cbr89)

Re: weird habits of tech CEOs (https://tinyurl.com/4uw5tduh)

Re: Michelle Obama criticizing Lean In (https://tinyurl.com/yxruv83j)

"I don’t wanna be a girl boss” tiktok by @mjwritess (*corrected username) (https://tinyurl.com/jtbj4zc4)

Elon musk tweets (https://tinyurl.com/5bc272kc)

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