So, Here's My Story... - TopPodcast.com

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Ep217: Languishing Between Gears Aug 17, 2021

Show notes

Feel like you’re languishing right now in these uncertain times? Let’s talk about reframing that experience a bit.

Why is that important for business?

There is a lot of uncertainty in the world and in business right now – lots of things are changing and many people feel unsettled and unmoored, or even like they are languishing.

A recent episode of Hidden Brain, featuring Anthony Burrow, focused on this experience:

“A lot of the identity contingencies – the way in which we think of ourselves - are interwoven into the everyday life experiences, and so the school relationships, the work relationships, close family, friends, etc, when those things end or are coming to an end, you might start to wonder: “who am I? What am I going to do today?” Languishing isn’t just a description, a sort of wallowing or a float in a pool. It is an attempt to describe a whole set of affective emotional, behavioural circumstances of simply not feeling engaged in one’s life. There’s a sort of disconnection. And so if you are in this sort of place, whereas I’ve experienced it, where you can’t fully make sense of up or down, heads or tails because you’re languishing, you can’t keep score of how to move forward and get more of what you want and less of what you don’t like. You’re sort of floating in the wind.”

Maybe being unsettled isn’t this terrible place to be. Perhaps it’s more like gears changing – in order to move up or down a gear, you have to hit the clutch to disengage. Only then can you re-engage in the new gear. Disconnection can be purposeful to help you get your gear shift into the right place, reconfigure and re-engage.

Of course, uncertain futures can be either something to dread, or something to feel hopeful about. Like Red did in Shawshank Redemption: “I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.” He was looking at what could be added to his life. But for many of us, it’s been a long time since we felt like our uncertain futures weren’t going to be taking away.

Regardless, it can be helpful to rewrite the story of languishing as some sort of depressive state, into a purposeful disconnection so that you can reorganize things in a direction that you really want them to be.

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Ep216: A Taste of Community Aug 10, 2021

Show notes

There are a lot of logistics to consider in coming back to work, but one thing you might not be thinking about is the change to community. Does community still matter, and how will it look different in a post-COVID world?

Why is that important for business?

There are ripple effects to this isolation. The next phase of business evolution, post-COVID, will look different in terms of building community, and it’s worth considering what that will look like. We have been talking policy, but we haven’t considered what else might be missing. And it maybe won’t feel as “community-ish” as it once did. It might require us to work harder and look farther or deeper to fulfill that connection need. And there may be things we got used to during isolation that we don’t want to give up in order to gain that community.

We may have been perfectly fine when we thought of quarantine as temporary. But when we realize we don’t know what “normal is going to be, it can be a bit more disconcerting. Things begin to feel more permanent, like we might become a society that just doesn’t get together in person.

Maybe we just need espresso shots of community to take us through our time on screens.

This is an unfolding experience with more questions than answers.

Community is important. It matters because it creates a space for conversation or connections that don’t otherwise have a chance to be. But maybe, as Smokey Robinson said, “a taste of honey is worse than none at all”.

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Ep215: Practice, Risk & The Necessity of Failure Aug 03, 2021

Show notes

What if trying new things was like football training camp, and you had an audience – and even media – present while you were trying to figure things out? Wish you had time to practice something new in private instead? Maybe it’s not as simple as one or the other.

Why is that important for business?

To be successful in business, we need to give people the freedom to try and fail and evolve. And it would be nice to be able to do that in private. But there is also the danger that you can get stuck in a “getting ready to be ready” place. So how do you practice in a lower stakes environment that still matters enough so that you can evolve?

You are not going to be able to own your new skill until you experience it. No words that can replace the feeling of doing stuff. But you also need to discern where it’s time to graduate and up your game. As Ira Glass talks about in this video, you know what good is, but when you start, you are aware that you aren’t that. You have to play through that gap. If you don’t recognize that that gap is supposed to be there, you might practice in that quiet place forever.

And while it’s perfectly acceptable to slowly get your feet wet instead of jumping directly into the deep end, you still have to build your confidence through action. Confidence can only come through action.

In business, it needs to be okay to fail. Some lessons can only be learned the hard way, and you need to expect that. If you don’t find ways to move forward, then you risk staying stuck exactly where you are.

The price that you pay to satisfy the need to get better is the risk of embarrassment.

What story do you want to tell?

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Ep214: Pushing Through Jul 27, 2021

Show notes

Ever have to muster the energy to do something you don’t want to do, but really should do? How do you change your energy? And how do you know when it’s a losing battle?

Why is that important for business?

What do you do when things just are not working? How far do you push a lack of energy?

Sometimes, when you have to make it work, changing your environment can totally shift your energy – it’s like layering other colours into the fabric.

You can also change the rules to match the energy - shuffle the deck for how you are going to accomplish the thing you can’t put off. Just start by asking, “what can I change about this?”

And sometimes, simply getting started helps,

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Ep213: Replay - Hijacked Meetings Jul 20, 2021

Show notes

REPLAY OF EPISODE 75: Audience Q&As can quickly devolve. Someone wants to share a story instead of a question; someone else wants to demonstrate their own expertise and “teach from the seats”. No one seems to know how to ask a succinct and relevant question and you can feel the frustration from the group. As the leader – whether it be in front of a large audience or just at your staff meetings – you must consider the impact of these contributions on the room, and your goals.

This episode is about being clear on your objective and helping everyone make the best contributions possible. It’s also a little bit about Jodi’s terrible poker face.

Why is that important for business?

There are people who are always going to answer, regardless of the question, with the answer they want to give. It can feel like they are not taking responsibility for the care and feeding of the group, nor considering the impact to the group.

As the leader, it is important to frame the rules of contribution before asking people for their contributions. For example, instructing them that the first sentence should end in a question mark. Give the Processors in the group time to think about what they want to say, and how to frame it within the guidelines you have given them. Set the expectations early.

However, it is also important to recognize that there are things that can get stuck in people’s craw, things they need to be acknowledged before they can move on. You don’t have to let this get you off track, but you do have to deal with the pothole in the parking lot, or it will keep coming up all day long.

Leadership is key here, and will affect the happiness of your team, and retention. You need to be clear on your top priority in the moment. Is it to keep train on the track, or is it to surface new thoughts and ideas? Are you trying to assuage concerns or present information? Each priority needs a different style of leadership. And you need to periodically asses if your leadership is angling you towards the outcome you want.

What story do you want to tell?

So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours!

Pull up a chair and join the conversation in our Facebook Group: bit.ly/shmsgroup

OR...

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Connect with @SHMSpodcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/shmspodcast

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Ep212: Indecision & PREgrets Jul 13, 2021

Show notes

Have you ever found yourself saying “I’m going to regret this”, but doing it anyway? Let’s talk self-sabotage and the frustrating world of pregrets.

Why is that important for business?

Often, we think too much about the consequences of making a bad decision, and not nearly enough about the consequences of making no decision. The decisions made through indecision/lack of a decision have consequences that we often ignore – sometimes they set a precedent, or simply waste a lot of time and energy.

And then there’s the part of it that isn’t about the decision at all, but how you communicate the decision.

So why do we do this? Are we just broken, or is it a glitch in the human operating system? Some of it might be because we can fatigue the pre-frontal cortex, which assesses consequences and manages a lot of decision making. And then we find our Monday selves really hating our Friday selves.

What story do you want to tell?

So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours!

Pull up a chair and join the conversation in our Facebook Group: bit.ly/shmsgroup

OR...

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Connect with @SHMSpodcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/shmspodcast

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Ep211: Taxicab Lights & Opportunities Jul 06, 2021

Show notes

Opportunities, luck, and leaving room in your business life for what you actually enjoy – just a few of the things we need to talk about in this episode.

Why is that important for business?

“I skate to where the puck is going, not where it has been.” Wayne Gretzky

Luck is not a cloud of magic that you walk into. Luck is opportunities realizing they are standing in the same room together. If you want to do something different than what you are doing, you have to let other people know that you are interested in a thing.

Otherwise, that’s how ruts get created – you only dig into the stuff you have already been doing. The value of how much you enjoy something is wildly overlooked.

“You are here to do what you can’t not do.” Lissa Boles.

Think of it like putting your taxicab light on.

What story do you want to tell?

So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours!

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Connect with @SHMSpodcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/shmspodcast

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Ep210: Confidence & the Truest Expression of You Jun 29, 2021

Show notes

Can you build confidence directly, or do you have to come at it obliquely, through just being yourself? Let’s discuss.

Why is that important for business?

People often think of confidence in terms of external validation, but if that’s the case, it can easily be cannibalized because you get worried how people will react. But what if the most confident thing you can do is just be you?

This can look like put on a “CEO posture”, where you are filtering the perception of confidence through what you think people want to see vs being yourself and using your strengths. If you have to run confidence through a filter of the feedback you get, maybe it isn’t actually confidence.

When you look at it this way, you eliminate the fear of being good enough, because what you are going for is simply the truest expression of yourself. It isn’t about putting on blinders and doing what you want, but about not letting feedback or external opinions stop you from taking action.

Some things are obliquely arrived at – you can’t pursue happiness, but you can pursue meaning and get happiness as a by-product. Maybe you also can’t pursue confidence directly, but instead you arrive at confidence by the pursuit of grounded surety in what you want to create and who you are. Confidence comes through taking action, and anything that gets in the way of that action will stymy confidence.

Other resources mentioned

NPR interview, One Woman Band Joan Armatrading Releases 22nd Album: https://www.npr.org/2021/06/20/1008449139/one-woman-band-joan-armatrading-releases-22nd-album

What story do you want to tell?

So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours!

Pull up a chair and join the conversation in our Facebook Group: bit.ly/shmsgroup

OR...

Shoot us an email: talktous@soheresmystory.com

Connect with @SHMSpodcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/shmspodcast

Text the word STORY to 345345 to get access to bonus content and weekly episode delivery.

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Ep209: Employee Engagement & You Jun 22, 2021

Show notes

Where does your responsibility to keep your employees end, and their responsibility to speak up start? Let’s sort that out in the next 20 minutes or so!

Why is that important for business?

Trying to help an employee who seems unenthused find their spark for work can be important to help retain your staff. But maybe it’s not your job to fix something without even knowing if work is the problem.

Reading other people’s energy is a skillset, but at some point, you have to trust the person to communicate their own needs. If your spidey sense is going off, ask them. But you have to be able to trust what they do (or don’t) tell you. You have to let them handle their own business. Make it clear that you are available for the conversation, and then trust them to do with that what they want.

In the Blessing White Engagement Model, we see this often overlooked piece – role of the employee in their own engagement.

Like with parenting, it’s your job to expose them to things to see what lights a spark, but it is not your job to find what sparks for them. At some point, they have to pick up the mantle. They have to help co-design what comes next.

Other resources mentioned

Blessing White, Engagement Model: https://blessingwhite.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Employee_Engagement_Capabilities_Brochure_2019.pdf

What story do you want to tell?

So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours!

Pull up a chair and join the conversation in our Facebook Group: bit.ly/shmsgroup

OR...

Shoot us an email: talktous@soheresmystory.com

Connect with @SHMSpodcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/shmspodcast

Text the word STORY to 345345 to get access to bonus content and weekly episode delivery.

Text 410-632-6894 to start a conversation with us.

Want to support us?

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Ep209: Employee Engagement & You Jun 22, 2021

Show notes

Where does your responsibility to keep your employees end, and their responsibility to speak up start? Let’s sort that out in the next 20 minutes or so!

Why is that important for business?

In the Blessing White Engagement Model, we see this often overlooked piece – role of the employee in their own engagement.

Other resources mentioned

Blessing White, Engagement Model: https://blessingwhite.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Employee_Engagement_Capabilities_Brochure_2019.pdf

What story do you want to tell?

So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours!

Pull up a chair and join the conversation in our Facebook Group: bit.ly/shmsgroup

OR...

Shoot us an email: talktous@soheresmystory.com

Connect with @SHMSpodcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/shmspodcast

Text the word STORY to 345345 to get access to bonus content and weekly episode delivery.

Text 410-632-6894 to start a conversation with us.

Want to support us?

Love this podcast?

Please tell your friends, post about us, or take a moment to review us & subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast!

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