Sex With Dr. Jess

Latest Episodes:

Dr. Donaghue on Toxic Monogamy, Body Neutrality & Erectile Disappointment Jul 12, 2019

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Loveline's host, Dr. Chris Donaghue joins Jess and Brandon to share insights from his latest book, Rebel Love: Break The Rules, Destroy Toxic Habits and Have the Best Sex of Your Life. They discuss porn addiction, solo-sexuality, body image, toxic masculinity, the drawbacks of monogamy and the habits we need to break to tap into authentic sexuality. Thank you to We-Vibe and Womanizer for bringing Dr. Donaghue to Toronto! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Dr. Donaghue on Toxic Monogamy, Body Neutrality & Erectile Disappointment 00:00:05 - 00:05:03 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight . Welcome to the sex with Dr Just podcast. I'm your co host Brandon wear and I am accompanied by my ravishing partner Dr Jess I asked him to do my intro and that's what I got. That's the bad was it all right. I think that's pretty cool or cool. What was wrong with that? We're GONNA be talking about some interesting subjects today and before we get started. I want to say thank you to desire resorts for their ongoing support poor checkout at desire experienced for clothing optional cruising clothing optional resorts. You should also check out temptation resorts sister company that is open to singles groups threesomes couples and more they're not clothing optional but they are topless optional and I'm sure there are some rooms or secret crevices you can sneak into and get bottomless now what I'm really waiting for we have clothing optional resorts. We have topless optional resorts. When are we going bottomless optional resorts? Hopefully never you know those classy places where you keep your top on but shirk cock down Nevada also known as shirt caulking king yet sure caulking. I guess where you wear a shirt but your penis is hanging out the bottom. You'll agreed said no one ever at assure cocking event hang on what if you're wearing a fanny pack. Oh yeah took it up a notch or ten I have I have seen in the shirt talking with the fanny pack and you know I think I was a bit of a fan of it. Fanny Pack Fan Really L.. I didn't even mean to do that so before we get started with our interview and we've got a really cool guest. Today I was reading this headline that women men under the age of thirty dream about sex three times as often as their grandma's did fifty years ago a really surprising though you know what I think we just are more open to who admitting it sometimes when I see numbers that relate to increase in sexual desire or frequency or behavior. I think that it has to do with a willingness to admit it but you'd Grandma's had their freak on. They probably got probably had some crazy kinky awesome thoughts lots just never told anyone about them. Have you had any extremes lately I have how and it was with someone totally not like into knocking to name drop but I woke up thinking wow that was not what I expected to dream about last night at all. Was it a good dream no even in the dream I was like man. That's actually what I remember thinking I'm like. Are we really doing this. I had a nightmare last night. It wasn't about sex I had this nightmare that I told off someone in my family. I said everything I wanted to say to this person and then it was Christmas Eve in my dream and my mom was r...

What We Fight About & 3 Ways We Resolve Arguments Jul 05, 2019

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In this episode, we talk about a fight we had the other day and our top three strategies for resolving conflict in our marriage. We also discuss Airpod sex, Canadian open relationships & millennial marriage with reference to two recent studies. ***Please find a rough version of this transcript below.*** Welcome! We had a short fight about pretty much nothing last weekend and it reminded me that I had committed to talking about how we resolve arguments, so today we’ll be talking about our arguments and how we resolve them. But first. A new study suggests that 20 percent of people with AirPods wear them during sex… And a Canadian study is on my radar today too. Researchers from the University of British Columbia looked at data from a nationally representative survey of about 2,000 Canadian adults. They found that four per cent of those in relationships reported being in an open relationship, while 20 percent reported having been in an open relationship in the past. Meanwhile, more than one in ten (12 percent) reported that open relationships were their "ideal relationship type.” Does this surprise you? And I also want to mention another study suggesting that millennials are giving up a big milestone in order to save for a home. They’re skipping marriage because of the cost of real estate. Rather than buying an engagement ring and spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding, they’re skipping the wedding and saving for a house. But here’s the thing: a wedding doesn’t have to cost you tens of thousands of dollars. You can save for a house and get married if you want to if you stop making your wedding a financially burdensome affair. If you think the institution of marriage is outdated, I hear you. And you don’t have to get married. But if you want to get married and you’re avoiding it because of the costs, just remember that a wedding doesn’t have to break the bank. And as I said last week, please stop planning your weddings and start planning your marriages. If you think planning a wedding is stressful or you find it overwhelming, you’re probably going to find a lifetime of commitment, cohabitation, cultivating intimacy and possibly co-parenting even more overwhelming, so forget the menu and the flowers and the napkins and the seating arrangements and redirect that energy into talking to your partner about how you plan to spend money for the rest of your life, how you plan to integrate your families in your lives, how you plan to have kids if that’s in the plans and how you plan to have sex potentially with only one person until death do you part. Now back to the matter at hand or the one I’m avoiding — our fights and arguments. Over the weekend, we were in Montreal and we got into a tiff on Saturday afternoon over pretty much nothing. If I tell the story it’s going to sound ridiculous. So I’m going to try to tell it. 1. We admit when crankiness is to blame. Sometimes arguments are about nothing. They’re not indicative of an underlying issue. They’re not intended to move the relationship forward and improve understanding. They’re simply a result of a mad mood or a lack of patience. And it can be hard when you know you’re the one at fault to step back and say mea culpa. It can feel overwhelming to take responsibility when you’re physiologically flooded and you’ve been diving in for the past ten minutes about some ridiculous issue. In fact, it can feel ridiculous to backpedal after you’ve been trying to prove a point or show just how right you are and admit that everything you said makes no sense at all and you’re sorry. This only works if your partner isn’t in it to win it. If you have a partner you is focused on winning an argument or being right, you’re not going to want to stop and say, “Yeah...I’m sorry. I’m being unreasonable. Forgive me.” You need a partner who’s willing to look past your temporarily irrational behaviour and see the big picture and say “I get it.”

How to Prepare For Marriage, Get Over an Ex and Repair a “Broken Relationship” Jun 28, 2019

Show notes

Jess and Brandon weigh in on listener questions related to breakups, rough patches, managing jealousy in the age of social media and wedding planning anxieties. **Please find a rough transcript below for this episode.** How do I not get jealous when it seems like everyone else is so happy - especially on social media? First - know that your comparisons aren’t realistic. Comparing your real-life relationship to the highlight reels that other couples post on social media will inevitably produce an unsatisfactory result. Photos, videos and other edited posts offer a momentary snapshot that is incomplete, condensed and/or scripted and your life is far more complex than one post can illustrate. I don’t post about the fact that I ate a chocolate bar that I took from the plane for breakfast this morning, or that my tummy is hurting. I don’t post about the fact that the sex we had the other night was really weird and sort of uncomfortable. I don’t post about being constipated or the fact that I had a terrible night last night and came home pissy over traffic and my team losing in a sort of frustrating game of Ultimate. So first and foremost, know that you’re comparing your regular life to less than 1% of someone else’s life. Next, know that jealous is normal. Admit to it. Identify if there is something they have that you want. And then identify what you can do about it. Some jealousy can help you to feel inspired, so when it comes to what you see on social media, calculated comparisons can be useful. As long as you realize that social media offers only one depiction of a multi-faceted relationship, it can be useful to learn from other couples. For example, perhaps you follow a couple who prioritizes health and fitness and at times it motivates you to to the same. Or perhaps you follow a couple who travels and you use their itineraries as inspiration for your next trip. Experiences of normative jealousy can be helpful if they help you to recognize what you want and how you can change your thoughts and behaviour to deepen fulfilment. If, however, feeling jealousy leads to distressful thoughts (e.g. feeling badly about yourself), they can be damaging. Once you’ve acknowledged the emotion, you can examine why you’re feeling it and what you might do about it. What shifts can you make — behaviourally and cognitively — to learn from this feeling. How can you use jealous feelings to look at what you feel you’re missing and make changes OR accept your circumstances in the case of things you can’t change. For example, if you feel jealous of another person’s financial success and you acknowledge this feeling, you may be able to take steps to improve your own confidence or make adjustments to your own finances. You’ll also want to look at ways to build confidence overall. If you admire or covet something somebody else has, what can you do to achieve/embody this in your own life? You can’t have everything they have, but you can make changes to the way you think and the way you behave right now. And finally, consider the evidence that supports your jealousy. Should you really feel jealous or is it an irrational emotional response? If a friend came to you with the same problem and feelings, what would you say? I should note that envy often refers to negative emotions directed at another/others (e.g. resentment, malevolence) whereas jealousy often refers to longing for something that someone else has. If you’re feeling envious, you’ll want to really work to address the underlying jealousy because it’s exhausting to live your life directing anger and malevolence at other people. My husband and I are going through a rough patch and it feels like we’ve been fighting for years. We barely even touch anymore. We had a heart to heart last week and agreed to spend the full weekend together next week when he comes back into town. He works over 500 miles away. We want to take this time to reconnect - it’s actually ...

Dating, Confidence, & Sex Appeal – A Burlesque Dancer’s Perspective Jun 21, 2019

Show notes

Burlesque sensation, Pastel Supernova, joins Jess and Brandon to talk about her experiences with dating, love and relationships. She shares insights on building self confidence, loving your body, and overcoming nervousness and performance pressure. Find out more about Burlesque Uni and Love Letters Cabaret here. If you want to know more about Moontower Counseling, click here. See Pastel in action below on Global TV's The Morning Show below! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Dating, Confidence, & Sex Appeal A Burlesque Dancers Perspective 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr just podcast brought to you by desire resorts in cruises. I'm your co host Brandon wear, and I'm here to just Riley, your friendly sex and relationship expert. Joining us is pastel supernova, the founder and artistic director of love letters, cabaret, which I've heard is pretty edgy. That's what they say. So what is love letters, cabaret love letters, cavalry is my burlesque on samba? All I have a I've been running for seven years now in Toronto, and it's a, it's a big showgirl revue. So when we think about burlesque, I think many of us, think about diverse body types in different types of beauty. Is that part of what drew you to burlesque has burlesque shifted the way you feel about your own body? Oh my goodness. I've been drawn to burlesque since childhood without knowing I grew up watching old, Hollywood films, and those dance reviews, always have been element of strip-teasers so much cabaret, gray RV, and the showmanship about it all was, what drew me to it. But very slowly started in classical dance eventually made my way there through an accidental booking. Somebody just thought that because I did pinup modeling and danced that I did Birla skin. Mccready bitch. And then the moment I did the show might life started to change completely. You are open in burlesque. You're open to all kinds of bunny types, but you're open to all kinds of people everything is so fluid and. Forward thinking, although they're taking styles from the past like such old elements but they're still opening people's mind so much so that it's considered me. Sure sexy in Lega, frowned upon way, because it's too forward thinking for a lot of people, it's not very labeled so echinacea that kin intimidate of you. But if you go in with an open mind, you'll meet a world of characters that will continuously teach you through art through teasing in the show, but the performance themselves, if you, if you find when you start to get to know them. It's, it's a whole other world of study where you're like, oh, wow. I'm a better human being right now. So it's not just about how you feel about yourself. It's how you interact with other people, and how you make them feel. Well, yeah, it's all connected. The better you feel about yourself. The more beautiful, you could see other like you see other people beauty because you're not bogged down by your own issues if you can just be like yet. I'm the shit. Oh my God. Look at all these other people there are so, yes. And you can actually listen to the stories instead of just Seattle be li...

Foot Fetishes, Sex Smells, Dating Profiles & Creating Relationship “Distance” Jun 18, 2019

Show notes

Why do we develop fetishes and how can you talk to your partner about a fetish? How can you discuss spending time apart with a new partner after you’ve moved in together? Jess and Brandon discuss these topics and share their thoughts on sex smells, gift-giving and more. They’re also joined by Samantha Eitel who has an alternative take on dating profiles and “the best gift ever”. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Foot Fetishes, Sex Smells, Dating Profiles & Creating Relationship Distance 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast, sex, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr jazz podcast. I am your co host Brandon wear, and I'm still here, your friendly neighborhood sexologist just Riley. Thanks for being here with us. What's been on my mind lately, babe talk to me feet. Interesting. Hopefully not my feet. Oh, let me tell you. I never think about your feet. No, I don't have gross feed. Oh, no. I didn't mean it that way. They're just feet. My own feet. Aren't my thing. You have very big feet. I do a triple for them their water skis. That's the joke. I don't need water skis. When I go water skiing sometimes will go shopping in markets where people, I suppose tend to have smaller feet and Brennan wants to buy some of their nice handmade sandals. And they laugh at him when he tells them, his first of all, you're making too on buying sandals, which I'm not doing. I'm buying shoes, and I also don't have ridiculously large feet, there, actually normal size cave. They're like twelve which is not ridiculous. But I did stop into a shoe store and the guy laughed at me, and this is in Toronto, and I'm thinking twelve a crazy foot size fair. They're often thirteen and one guy told you that they don't carry ridiculous sizes. That was his word. Thinking to myself really man like at twelve is ridiculous. That's silly. Well, I'm thinking about feet, not because I've been thinking about your feet, but because I keep receiving these requests. Asking for pictures of my feet. Nice. And maybe I should be responding asking how much they're willing to pay. Sure. Maybe they want sponsor the podcast. I'm sure that's exactly what they want. They want pictures of my feet and I received another Email a couple of days ago, asking why he was so turned on by feet and if anything was wrong with him. So he said that he had a foot fetish and was just concerned about whether or not this was normal, and it's interesting because the foot is, in fact, one of the most commonly fetish is objects our body parts and a foot fetish simply refers to new strong sexual arousal or desire in response to the feet and fetishes tend to refer to non genital body parts or object based at traction. You might also have a foot fetish MB aroused by foot products like shoes and socks and stockings and boots and people have asked in the in the past. To buy my socks really. Interesting. I wouldn't I didn't know that, but you know that I don't like shopping. I can't afford to run out of socks because I'd have to go to the store to get more. Maybe I can get them on Amazon these days. Just go online. Yeah. I guess so. But anyhow, I wanted to talk a little bit about fetishes,

Emotional (Un)availability: How to Get Your Partner to Open Up Jun 07, 2019

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Jess and Brandon discuss what emotional unavailability might look like and they challenge the “fix-it” mentality. They share specific strategies for overcoming emotional unavailability including language and approaches to support your partner. They discuss the five languages of love, simple questions to make daily interactions more emotionally open, and emotional compatibility. **Please find a rough transcript of this podcast below** Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast brought to you by Desire Resorts and Cruises. I’m Brandon Ware. And I’m Jess O’Reilly, your friendly neighborhood sexologist. Today we’re going to talk about emotional unavailability, because a number of folks have been referencing this topic on Instagram and I posted about it last week. Emotional Unavailability isn’t a formal diagnosis, so it’s one of those terms that tends to be tossed around rather flippantly without a universal definition. Some of us are emotionally unavailable by choice and others don’t even realize that we're putting up a wall. Emotional availability often refers to the ability to talk openly about your feelings and this is a skill as opposed to a state of being. This means that emotional availability can be cultivated with effort and need not be a universal relationship deal breaker. Some signs of being currently emotional unavailable include: They avoid intimate conversations or withdraw when you bring up difficult topics. This is a good example of the fact that emotional unavailability is not a matter of character, but of skill, experience and comfort level. We’ve all avoided intimate and difficult conversations at some point in time, so you can understand why your partner might utilize avoidance behaviours. They may be trying to avoid conflict or tension. They might be distracted or stressed out by other issues in their life and simply don’t have the emotional bandwidth to open up at this time. Or they might simply not have the communication tools/skills to speak openly about intense topics. The good news, of course, is that circumstances change (you can help to put them at ease) and with practice, they can develop the skills to communicate more effectively. It’s important to note that just because you believe you’re more emotionally available, does not in fact make it so. Your perception of your own skills in biased and you can’t expect them to communicate in the same way you do; they may have a different communication style and you’ll be better off finding middle ground as opposed to expecting them to get on board with your expectations. They refuse to express vulnerability. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable requires trust, so emotional availability can increase over time as you get to know and trust one another. If you feel your partner is not opening up, I’d avoid labels like emotionally unavailable and the associated accusations altogether. You’ll find that you’re more likely to get a positive response and a willingness to consider behavioural change if you talk about how you feel as opposed to what your partner is doing wrong. For example, you might be frustrated by the fact that your partner won’t talk about sensitive and personal topics. Related to this frustration, however, may be a sense of insecurity, as you might expect someone who loves you to trust you with their most vulnerable feelings. Talk about this insecurity and what behaviours (e.g. opening up more about the past) might hep to assuage your fears as opposed to accusing your partner of being emotionally unavailable. Opening up about your own emotions including your vulnerabilities (e.g. insecurity) may foster a safe environment that encourages your partner to do the same. They cut people off without working on relationships. Not all relationships (including friendships) are intended to last forever, but if they cut people off often (e.g. parents, siblings, friends, exes, co-workers), it’s easy to identify the common denominator.

Help! I Can’t Orgasm With My Partner May 31, 2019

Show notes

Jess and Brandon respond to a listener who can orgasm on her own, but not with her partner. They share tips, insights, personal stories as well as practical mindfulness strategies you can try tonight. Please find a rough transcript of this podcast below... Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast. We’re going to talk about orgasms today. We have a question from a listener. “I have been having trouble orgasming with a partner, but by myself, it’s extremely easy. I have tried to add sex toys when I’m with my partner (which is the usual way I orgasm on my own), but that didn’t even work. He feels insecure since he can’t make me orgasm and I’m embarrassed.” First - you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Your orgasm is for you. It’s not about your partner — unless you’re playing with that fantasy specifically — often in a kinky way. You might allow your partner to take control of your orgasm. One example might involve orgasm denial. It can be — with consent. Orgasm denial is often practiced as BDSM and it involves maintaining arousal without allow orgasm to follow. You might bring your partner to the brink and then pull back and stop altogether. And then you can continue to repeat. You might use your hands or body or you might use chastity belts or cock cages to prevent simulation of the genitals. Some people create a whole scene or experience around orgasm denial and others simply play with it in passing. They might tease their partner that they’re going to pull back and not let them orgasm. But back to the question. Let’s begin with the basics. Your partner doesn’t really give you an orgasm. They might be a part of the process, but your body — with your brain at the helm — gives you an orgasm. They can physically and mentally be a part of the stimulation process, but ultimately, it’s your nerve endings that communicate with the brain and it’s your brain that fires in multiple regions. And then at orgasm, your brain's center of reason and behavior (the lateral orbitofrontal cortex just behind your left eye) actually shuts down momentarily allowing your animalistic needs to overpower any reservations or preoccupations. When you can orgasm on your own, but not with a partner, oftentimes it’s because you do something physically different on your own. You use toys, you use your hands, you rub on the outside, you contort your body in a natural way, you breathe differently when you’re on your own and it facilitates orgasm easily. But then when you get with a partner, you change it up. You’re more focused on penetration, you move your body for their pleasure, you control your body at different angles, you hold your breath, you hold back or exaggerate your sounds and all of those physical activities simply don’t lead to orgasm. If this is the case, you’ll want to bring your masturbation practices — the angles, the toys, the techniques into your partnered play and replicate them. And this will likely lead to orgasm. In your case, however, you use toys to orgasm and you’ve already tried bringing them in to partnered play, so you likely need to consider another angle: And that’s performance pressure. If you’re doing the exact same things with your partner as you do when you’re alone and you still can’t enjoy an orgasm when your partner is present, it’s likely a matter of mindset, mood and pressure. So first — I want you to remove the physical barriers to orgasm. Is is the way you’re positioned? Move into the position you use when you masturbate most often and have your partner work around you. Is it the setting? Try to replicate the setting in terms of location, lighting, temperature, what you’re wearing. Again, have your partner work around you. Is it the physical sensations? When you use a toy alone, how do you do it? Can you show your partner with your hand? If you’re using the toy that always leads to orgasm, is there something else they’re doing that you find distracting?

Vaginismus: Painful Sex May 24, 2019

Show notes

What are the causes, symptoms and treatment options for Vaginismus? Jess shares resources and chats with her friend Meredith who shares her story of successfully overcoming Vaginismus. As mentioned on this episode, check out the work of Dr. Susie Gronski and the Pelvic Mafia! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Vaginismus: Painful Sex 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast, sex, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey there, just so Riley here. Your friendly neighborhood sexologist. This is the sex with Dr Jess podcast. And today, we will be talking about vaginal Smith's, but first big, thank you to desire resorts in cruises for their ongoing support. They have clothing optional. Couples only paradise is on the Mayan Rivera as well as temptations resorts, which is open to people of all relationship arrangements. So singles couples threesomes and more checkout at desire experience. Vaginal. Dryness involves the sudden and painful contraction of the muscles in the vaginal area upon penetration, and this pain and contraction can be so severe that you cannot handle any degree of penetration. It's just too much. Some people describe a burning sensation that can develop as soon as you touch, and for other people, it develops as penetration is prolonged or deepened, and vaginal Smith's can be linked with, with inflammation with injury with pass trauma with hyper sensitive nerve endings near the vaginal opening and of course, with stress and psychological factors. And if you're new to sex. So if you're trying to engage in penetration for the very first time you can often. Nervous and because of those nerves your pelvic floor muscles, Ken tense up so severely that it feels as though you're hitting a brick wall, so feels like there's something blocking the entrance to the vagina. Now, this doesn't mean that something is actually blocking you from entering. But it feels like it. And when this happens in the beginning, so in your early attempts at having some sort of penetrative, sexual experience, it can be so distressful that the next time you try the same thing, happens because you tense up again or utensil even more. And what happens is you experience more of the same and it becomes a cycle and the distress itself. And the fact that this heightened by he know dealing with shame and secrecy around our bodies and sex, this can be enough to make sex or any sort of penetration. Feel imp-. Possible time and time again. And the more you experience, this distress, the more the muscles respond by contracting. So it becomes this negative feedback loop. And of course, there are many types of sex, you can have without penetration, but many people do desire, vaginal penetration. And it's not only folks who are new to penetration who experienced Baginda Smith's, I've had clients, who experienced secondary, onset, meaning they've had sex in the past they've enjoyed penetration without issue, but secondary onset might occur after trauma after surgery, with battle and bladder issues, and, and even and often with distress in their lives and distress in their relationships. And it's it's fairly common this experience, and it's,

How To Talk To Your Kids About Porn May 17, 2019

Show notes

Jess and Brandon talk about celebrity relationships (again!). Then Nadine Thornhill joins them to share practical advice on how to talk to your kids about sex, porn and body image. Follow Nadine on... Twitter Facebook Instagram Youtube Jess received a related question from a fellow listener. Here is her advice... My ex wife tells me that she caught our teenage son watching porn. She was mortified and wants me to talk to him about it. Where do I even begin? If you don’t talk to your kids about porn, Google, YouTube, SnapChat and their friends will. Oftentimes, they’re not looking for porn, but they stumble across it or their friends present it to them, so it’s essential to have conversations before they encounter this type of material. If you feel uncomfortable talking to them about porn or sex, in general, use this discomfort to open the conversation. Admit that it makes you nervous so that they learn from your ability to acknowledge vulnerable emotions. They’ll also learn that it’s important to have uncomfortable conversations. I suggest that you start by asking them if they have any questions and reminding them that it’s normal to be curious. Even if you don’t want them to watch porn, you don’t want to intensify any shame they may already feel around sex. You can let them know that porn isn’t intended for folks their age and remind them that what they see in porn isn’t what sex looks like in real life. Young people tend to learn about sex from porn because they don’t have access to other resources. And adults do the same. Offer a reminder that what they see in porn includes acting, special effects, editing, and sexual olympians. Just as they don’t learn about relationships from Jersey Shore and they don’t learn to drive watching Fast and the Furious, porn is not designed as a form of education. It can be entertaining and titillating, but it’s not produced with education in mind. Since you’re their parent, you can share your personal values related to porn and remember that your experience may not be their experience. Finally, consider offering them other resources they can turn to if they’re curious about sex. My colleague Nadine Thornhill talks about curating sexuality resources for your kids so that they don’t have to curate their own. Whether you send them to a site like Scarleteen for sex and relationship education or you direct them to erotica sites that reflect a greater diversity of bodies and more realistic interactions, it’s up to you. Regardless of your comfort level with this topic, remember that your child will inevitably seek out resources, so it’s up to you whether or not you want to be a part of the process. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Talk To Your Kids About Porn 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast, sex, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr just podcast. I'm Brandon wear, and I'm just Riley, your friendly neighborhood sexologist. When it comes to sex, you no longer have to have the talk with your kids, but you do want to have multiple conversations and keep them going start naming their genitals from the time.

Why We All Seek Attention & Feel Insecure: The Ayesha & Steph Curry Case May 10, 2019

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Do you have a partner who craves attention? Do you love getting attention? How do you feel when your partner gets attention from outside sources? Jess and Brandon discuss the Ayesha and Steph Curry case and share their experience with managing insecurity, neediness, attention-seeking and more. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Why We All Seek Attention & Feel Insecure: The Ayesha & Steph Curry Case 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks. And relationship advice. You can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess podcast. I am Brandon wear here with my lovely partner. Dr. Jess, hey, hey, I'm in a very good mood today was a well. I'm playing in an ultimate frisbee tournament this weekend. Rigo ultimate frisbee. It's an all women's team that I love and we do a big cookout after what are they called? We are the joy Huck club. We're mostly Asian women. And we did have one girl on the team. She didn't get it. You know, the Joy Luck Club. Right. I know it now because I had to ask about it. You did. Yeah. I did. I didn't watch movies in the eighty s it was a book. They're exactly it was also a movie, but Landa good mood because of that. I'm also in a good mood because this week all week long from late late Sunday night when I came home to midday Saturday, Brandon, and I have our house all to ourselves. And for those of you who don't know why that so exciting Justice father lives in our house and has lived with us for about the last ten years, but he is on a tour of the holy land this week. I hope he's having a good time. I do too. 'cause I am having a good time. Having a house to myself walking around in the nude. I'm breaking all the rules that I set. Yeah. I mean, I don't think we have a ton of rules to begin with. I do have a lot of rules in the house. You know, I do know computers at the table. No newspapers at the table. I have a lot of rules. No, Fox News on the main floor, Fox News period. Yeah. Well, that that's on my dad's computer, so yeah, we're enjoying the week loan. And I'm also in a really good mood because the Toronto Raptors are still in the play offs. And I bring up the wraps not only because we're Toronto fan. So we've the north and all that jazz. But also because today, I wanna talk about a USA. Hurry. And I show is a cookbook author. She's a television host and personality, and she is also. The wife of NBA star Steph curry who has a reputation for being just a super nice guy any specifically has a reputation for not cheating on his wife, which is somehow lauded to get a biscuit for not cheating on your partner. Apparently, if you're a superstar and show was on red table talk recently, and she opened up about her insecurities in this is what she said. She says something that really bothers me. And honestly has given me a sense of a little bit of insecurity is the fact that. Yeah, there are all these women like throwing themselves at him. But me for the last ten years. I don't have any of that. I have zero and this might sound weird. But I have I don't have male attention. And so then I begin to internalize it and unlike is something wrong with me. There's a lot when package there. I don't I don't know much about the curry family.

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