Sex and Psychology Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Episode 369: All About Orgasms Feb 07, 2025

Show notes

Let’s talk about orgasms! In today’s episode, we’re diving into a lot of interesting questions surrounding the big O. For example, who is responsible for your orgasm during sex: your partner or you? Also, is it ever OK to fake an orgasm? Additionally, we’ll explore strategies for having more orgasms if this is something you struggle with, as well as whether you can learn to be multiply-orgasmic.

My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 70 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field. Her debut book titled, Good Sex, is now in print.

Some of the topics we address in this episode include:

Are orgasms something that our partners “give” us?
What do porn and popular media get wrong about how orgasms are portrayed?
What are the most common reasons why people fake orgasms?
How are orgasms defined scientifically?
The goal of closing the orgasm gap is to achieve orgasm equity. But what does orgasm equity actually look like?

You can check out Candice’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

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Episode 368: What We Get Wrong About Relationships Feb 04, 2025

Show notes

A lot of the things you’ve probably learned about what healthy relationships look like are just plain wrong. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into what you really need to know. Some of the topics we’re going to explore include how to know whether a given relationship is right for you, how to avoid moving too fast, and the single best things you can do for your relationship health.

I am joined once again by Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish Sex Therapist and Educator living and working in the Bay Area. Her work with clients, workshops, podcasts, and social media focuses on making sex education more accessible and normalizing sexual pleasure and play in people’s lives. You can find her on the socials at @sexclarified.

Some of the topics we discuss include:

Is a good relationship supposed to be hard or easy?
Why is it unrealistic to expect a perfect sex life?
What factors actually predict relationship satisfaction?
How can we prioritize our relationships even when we’re busy?

You can check out Claire’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.

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Episode 367: Five Things Everybody Can Learn From Kink Jan 31, 2025

Show notes

Whether you consider yourself to be kinky or not, there’s a lot that all of us can learn from the kink community that could benefit our sex lives. Today, we’re going to explore five important things to know about cultivating safer, healthier, and more pleasurable sexual experiences. Along the way, we’re also going to dispel some common misconceptions about kink.

My guest is Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish Sex Therapist and Educator living and working in the Bay Area. Her work with clients, workshops, podcasts, and social media focuses on making sex education more accessible and normalizing sexual pleasure and play in people’s lives. You can find her on the socials at @sexclarified.

Some of the topics we address in this episode include:

What are some of the biggest myths about the world of kink?
What does negotiation during sex look like in practice?
What is the importance of checking-in during sex and how do you go about this?
How can we unburden ourselves of sexual shame and come to self-acceptance?
If you’re looking to explore kink for the first time, what do you need to know?

You can check out Claire’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Episode 366: Sexual Fantasies Across Cultures Jan 28, 2025

Show notes

If you’re a long-time listener, you’ve probably heard me talk about my study abroad classes before. I take students all over the world to learn about sex and culture, and one of the many topics we explore is sexual fantasies, including how they are similar or different across cultures.

For example, in my Amsterdam course, we hear from Marielle de Goede, who along with her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name. This project also resulted in various theatre performances and a traveling erotic exhibition. The goal of the project was to celebrate the erotic imagination and to break the taboos surrounding our fantasies and sexuality by bringing together art, storytelling, and science.

In today’s episode, we’re going to discuss Marielle’s project in more depth. Some of the topics we address include:

How similar or different are sexual fantasy themes around the world?
Why do Europeans seem to fantasize about cuckolding less than Americans?
How might our political beliefs affect our fantasies?
How do people feel about their sexual fantasies?
What do we know about the origins of our fantasies?
What’s the best way to share a fantasy with a partner?

If you’re interested in learning more and joining me on a study abroad trip this year, this blog has the registration information for all of our locations this year — Amsterdam, Prague, Reykjavik, and Barcelona.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 365: Men’s Anxiety Around Sex and Dating Jan 24, 2025

Show notes

Research finds that up to 25% of men experience sexual performance anxiety, which is just one of many types of anxiety that affect men in the bedroom. In this episode, we’re diving into men’s anxiety around sex and relationships, and how to deal with it.

I am joined once again by David Khalili, a licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified sexologist, and founder of Rouse Relational Wellness, a boutique couples and sex therapy center in San Francisco. He is author of the Mental Health Workbook for Men and Sex Worriers: A Mindfully Queer Guide to Men’s Anxiety Around Sex and Dating.

Some of the topics we explore include:

How does anxiety manifest in men’s sexual and romantic lives?
How can men’s anxiety lead to boundary violations?
How can men cope with anxiety about their own performance during sex?
What are some ways men can learn to be more present during sex?
How do you deal with anxiety around masculinity issues?

You can check out David’s website to learn more.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Episode 364: Men’s Mental Health Jan 21, 2025

Show notes

A growing number of men are experiencing mental health struggles. However, surveys from all around the world find that men are very reluctant to talk about their mental health. As a result, their mental health issues often go undiagnosed and untreated, and many turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. In today’s show, we’re going to open up a conversation about men’s mental health.

I am joined by David Khalili, a licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified sexologist, and founder of Rouse Relational Wellness, a boutique couples and sex therapy center in San Francisco. He is author of the Mental Health Workbook for Men and Sex Worriers: A Mindfully Queer Guide to Men’s Anxiety Around Sex and Dating.

Some of the topics we address in this episode include:

How is mental health different from mental illness?
What are some of the most common mental health concerns facing men today?
What are some of the factors that contribute to men’s mental health concerns?
What are some of the ways that a man’s mental health can affect his sex life?
How can men cope with stress more effectively?

You can check out David’s website to learn more.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Episode 363: Sex In The Movies Jan 17, 2025

Show notes

When it comes to how sex and sexuality are portrayed on screen, what does Hollywood get right and wrong? Let’s talk about it! I recently appeared on the Love Factually Podcast, hosted by my friends Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. They asked me to select a film about sex, so I picked the 2010 movie Easy A starring Emma Stone. We had a really fun conversation about it, so I wanted to share it with you today.

Easy A covers a lot of timely themes, including sexual reputation, virginity, casual sex, and the sexual double standard. We discuss how this film handles them, what the science says about these topics, and also how our sexual culture has shifted since this film first came out.

Some of the topics we explore include:

Does the sexual double standard still exist for men and women?
How is casual sex related to self-esteem?
What does this movie get right and wrong about hookup culture?
How do reputational concerns influence women’s interest in casual sex?

I hope you enjoy this episode of the Love Factually podcast—and if you like what you hear, give Paul and Eli’s show a follow on Apple or Spotify.

Have a sex question of your own? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 362: Sex Questions We’ve Never Been Asked Before (Listener Questions) Jan 14, 2025

Show notes

We are answering more of your sex questions in this show! We had a couple of fascinating questions that came through our listener voicemail that really stood out to me because I’ve never been asked about them before:

Our first question is about what to do with sex toys you don’t want or need anymore. Can you recycle them? The answer is surprisingly complicated!
The second question comes from a sex worker who wants to be open and honest with her kids about her work, so she’s looking for advice on how to have that conversation.

To help me in answering these questions, Ashley Weller is back on the show. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s Your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view.

Have a sex question of your own? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 361: Navigating Age-Gap Relationships (Listener Questions) Jan 10, 2025

Show notes

In today’s show, we are answering more of your sex questions! We recently had two questions come through our podcast voicemail that center around navigating relationships where the partners are significantly different in terms of age, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about in this show.

To help me in answering these questions, Ashley Weller is back on the podcast. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also runs her own podcast called What’s Your Position, which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view.

Some of the topics we explore include:

What counts as an “age-gap relationship” anyway?
Why are age-gap relationships so stigmatized?
If you’re in an age-gap relationship, how do you deal with all of the social judgment?
How do you maintain a healthy and active sex life in an age-gap relationship when partners have different libidos?
What are some of the most common challenges that come up in age-gap relationships?

Have a sex question of your own? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 360: What’s Your Love Language? Jan 07, 2025

Show notes

“The Five Love Languages” is one of the most popular self-help books on relationships ever written, and it’s often used in couples’ therapy. However, despite its massive popularity, there’s a surprising lack of research on the theory behind it. My guest today recently published a new study that tested some of its core ideas, and the findings may very well surprise you.

I am joined by Dr. Sharon M. Flicker, a clinical psychologist who researches intimate relationships. She is licensed to practice psychology in New York and Pennsylvania, and is an Associate Professor of Psychology at California State University – Sacramento.

Some of the topics we address in this episode include:

What are the five love languages?
Does everyone have a primary love language?
Are people actually happier when their partner “speaks” their primary love language?
Which love language is most strongly linked to relationship satisfaction?
Is the love languages concept useful in sex and relationship therapy?

You can check out Sharon’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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