Self Helpful with Kevin Miller

Latest Episodes:

In A World Bent On Achieving Destinations We Look At The Empowerment of Leaving Things Behind w/ Empowerment Expert Rosenna Bakari Jun 22, 2026

Show notes

I appreciate people who help us paradigm shifts. I have viewed life as progressing to the next goal. The next destination. Focused on what I can add to my achievements. And yet as I’ve gotten older and dealt with more things that have humbled and tempered me, I’ve started wondering if there is as much or more growth, not from adding, but subtracting. Not from learning new things, but unlearning old things. In a similar concept, my guest today says, “Transformation is the power of departure.” DR. ROSENNA BAKARI is a psychologist, empowerment expert, and educator who has just published a book titled, Seven Exits: Leave Behind What No Longer Serves You. Rosenna had a childhood seizure at age seven and was misdiagnosed as “mildly retarded.” She went on however to be identified as mentally gifted. At age 17 she entered Cornell University and by age 22 earned her Ph.D. in Educational Psychology. For more than 25 years, Dr. Bakari taught psychology to graduate and undergraduate students, published peer-reviewed articles, and delivered presentations across the country with a focus on empowerment, healing, and transformation. Here is a quote I tuned into from Rosenna, “High-quality mental well-being displays positive characteristics, such as managing stress and recovering from adversity. It also includes emotional regulation, self-awareness, and cognitive flexibility. However, individuals with high mental functioning can still be disempowered.” I feel we have a culture that feels tremendously disempowered, even amongst the so-called, “successful.” So I dug into the issue with Rosenna. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin

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How To Move Through Modern Life With Inner Calm w/ Former Monk Dandapani Jun 19, 2026

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My guest is Dandapani. He became an ordained Hindu monk under the guidance of one of Hinduism’s foremost spiritual leaders of our time. For 10 years he lived a life of serious personal discipline and training at his guru’s cloistered monastery in Hawaii. Here he learned to control his mind. He learned to focus. And he believes this is the key to finding one’s purpose. We would probably all agree that it is easier to focus when you live in a monastery in Hawaii. Dandapani readily agrees. Yet he believed the teachings would work in the outside world as well, and now he’s proved it. He left the monastery and moved to New York where he started a business, got married, and became a father. Today he is a highly sought-after international speaker and leading expert on leveraging the human mind and the power of focus to create a life of purpose and joy. I just attended an event in LA with 5,000 attendees and spoke onstage along with Dandapani. I inspire myself to see him remaining centered and at peace, even as he endures the busyness of travel, work, and family like the rest of us. He has a book, The Power of Unwavering Focus. One concept from his message has changed my life. That of the mind being a vast space with many different areas and our awareness is a glowing orb of our focus that can only light up one room at a time. I invite you to settle into this discussion. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin

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What Creates The Feeling of You? w/ Neuroscientist David Sussillo Jun 15, 2026

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“Could we really reduce your conscious mind to a set of underlying processes that, when composed, create the feeling of you, the view of right now?” This is what my guest questions and proposes. David Sussillo is a world-renowned neuroscientist, an adjunct professor at Stanford University and has been a scientist at the Google Brain group and Meta Reality Labs. In his professional pursuits, David researches brain-machine interfaces to develop the next generation of computers. He works to understand the ghost in the machine – how cells in our brain collectively give rise to the computations that determine behavior. But David is not just a researcher. He’s his own test subject. He had a difficult childhood, to put it mildly. He spent five years living in the Albuquerque Christian Children’s Home. A home for children who were basically abandoned. They had unfit parents, but weren’t up for adoption. This was near to my heart, as my family and I served at a similar children’s home in Gallup, NM, and I understand much of the heartbreak associated with such a place. My core interest was how David came from such a traumatic childhood, to be the high achieving adult he is today. His sister, who experienced much of the same lifestyle, killed herself. So again, what was different about David? And the point here is not David and his story. But you and me and our stories, and understanding how we imprison, and free ourselves. David discusses his journey in his new book, EMERGENCE: A Memoir of Boyhood, Computation, and the Mysteries of Mind.

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Are You Treating Your Anxiety As An Alert Or A Constant Passenger w/ Neuropsychotherapist Britt Frank Jun 12, 2026

Show notes

We have made anxiety a bad term. But anxiety is a normal response of the body to a worry or concern or perceived threat. Your anxiety in and of itself isn’t doing anything wrong. We just seem to be responding inappropriately. Britt Frank is a licensed neuropsychotherapist and trauma expert who is trained in IFS (Internal Family Systems) and SE (Somatic Experiencing). She is a speaker and an award-winning adjunct instructor at the University of Kansas where she’s taught classes on ethics, addiction, and clinical social work. She has a book, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia To Find Your Path Forward. I brought her to us to discuss her research on anxiety and body based feeling vs thought based therapy. Britt ultimately points to anxiety as a cue from your body. Think of it as a dashboard light in your car saying something is not quite right. Like the “check engine” light. But instead of giving the light attention, our culture has primarily normalized anxiety, as it has many pathologies, and decided to just live with the check engine light on. I think what you will hear is some paradigm shifting information that will change how you view your anxiety and get you paying attention to your body's responses in order to better manage your mental state.

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Desensitized or Oversensitized: Why We Are So Anxious About Our Differences And How To Find Peace w/ Social Psychologist Claude Steele Jun 08, 2026

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We are more sensitive than ever to our differences. Most people I know are really striving to be aware, kind, considerate, and inclusive. But is this sensitivity also increasing our cultural anxiety around the issue? My guest in this episode is social psychologist Claude M Steele, and he feels this is the case. Claude is the Lucie Stern Professor in the Social Sciences, Emeritus, at Stanford University. Over a decade ago Claude authored the book, Whistling Vivaldi, which became a groundbreaking resource on stereotypes and identity. His new book is, Churn: The Tension That Divides Us and How To Overcome It. Claude lays out that we all, inherently, are more comfortable with people like us. Which by proxy means we discomfort ourselves with people who are different. Many of us try to be "color blind" and pretend there is not difference, but we all feel the elephant in the room. Claude says, "Prejudice doesn't survive proximity. As you will hear, Claude has a primary solution. If someone is different, and if you really care, be curious. And seek to connect. This sounds simple, and I'm not sure it is, which is why I offer you the following conversation.

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How To Be Your Authentic Self & Still Be Kind To Others w/ Mindvalley CoFounder Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani Jun 05, 2026

Show notes

We are tired of performing. We want to be our authentic selves. We want to have boundaries. But I see and have experienced two challenges. You finally just let it all hang out and tell everyone how you really feel and let the chips of dissension fall where they will. Or, you just fold at the critical moment and feel it’s easier just to perform and appease people. Is there another option? Most of you will be aware of Mindvalley, and have likely participated with them. They have become one of the most popular personal development platforms on the planet. My guest in this episode is Mindvalley co-founder, Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani. Kristina is an entrepreneur, writer, international speaker, artist, and philanthropist. She is also someone who spent much of her life striving to please others, but she now cites that you won’t find peace being even 95% honest and authentic if you’re still 5% fake or performing. But we also want to accommodate others as much as we can. She writes about this in her book, Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living An Imperfectly Authentic Life, and we dig into the issue here in this episode. We also candidly discuss the dark side of personal growth and how it can feed our insecurities, which coming from the co-founder of Mindvalley, I feel is a big disclosure.

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What Measures Whether You Matter Or Not w/ Philosopher Rebecca Goldstein Jun 01, 2026

Show notes

Do I, intrinsically matter? Do you? Based on...what? There is almost a saturation of information and ideas on what purpose is and having purpose in your life. But if you dig down, I find purpose to primarily be a pursuit to...matter. Do we matter just because we exist? Many religions say so, but I generally find the religious scrambling to prove they matter in the same ways everyone else is. So does that testify that we have to do something to matter? This is the episode. I sat down with renowned philosopher and intellectual, Rebecca Goldstein. Rebecca is an award-winning philosopher and writer. She is the author of ten books of acclaimed fiction and non-fiction. She holds a Ph.D. in philosophy of science from Princeton University and has taught at Yale, Columbia, NYU, Dartmouth, and Harvard. In 2015, she was awarded the National Humanities Medal by President Obama. In many ways however, from all of Rebecca's philosophical pursuits, the concept of mattering is her culmination of wisdom. Her new book is called, The Mattering Instinct: How Our Deepest Longing Drives Us and Divides Us. In this conversation we dive straight into how we perceive mattering, what we generally do to matter, and what actually results in feelings of mattering. We discuss the cultural and relational conflicts we have around what and who we think matters most. Rebecca then identifies four psychological types based on how people pursue mattering, which in itself begs the question: We generally pursue proving that we matter. Belying we think mattering is earned. I found the conversation very revealing and bringing me to consider my core motives for my life.

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Living & Thriving With Pain of Loss That Will Never Go Away w/ Neurosurgeon Lee Warren May 29, 2026

Show notes

The concept of trauma has gotten more focus than ever, as of late, it seems. But I feel much of what gets labeled trauma is the pain of loss. Losses we don’t know how to, or maybe never will, reconcile. I don’t claim having trauma in my life, but I have loss that I don’t think I’ll ever get over. I don’t want to minimize trauma at all, but I feel even more people resonate with the concept of loss. Even if it stems from a tragic trauma. And what I’ve been considering is some losses I don’t expect or even intend to “get over.” They are now a part of me. And, I want to thrive in my life anyway. My guest knows much about this, not only from his own life, but with experience with so, so many people. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon. Every day he is dealing with people who may lose some of their cognitive abilities, or their lives. And he deals with their loved ones who are losing someone significant in their lives. This is Lee’s life. In addition, Lee knows what I’ll call straight-up, big T Trauma. On August 20, 2013, his nineteen-year-old son Mitch died of multiple stab wounds to the neck. Mitch’s best friend died along with him with one stab wound. Whether the knife used to kill Mitch was in his hand or someone else’s, whether he was at fault or a victim, they will never know. An unsolved murder. This could have been the end of Lee. Obviously it was not. But he hasn’t gotten over it and doesn’t expect to. All this adds up to what I found to be a profound conversation that I’ve understood more as time has passed and I’ve experienced more loss. Lee has a book about all this, Hope Is the First Dose: A Treatment Plan for Recovering from Trauma, Tragedy, and Other Massive Things. And wherever you are listening to this podcast, you can find his podcast, just search for The Dr. Lee Warren Podcast.

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Getting Clear On What Is Truly At Risk In Pursuing What We Want w/ Connection Expert Ben Swire May 25, 2026

Show notes

I don’t think we like to hear it, but there seems to be continual evidence that our culture is growing more risk averse, less willing to try new things, and as a result, becoming stagnant. Another data point on our reported, near all time low of subjective well-being. So I brought on an expert to discuss the issue. Ben Swire is an innovative thought leader on human connection and authentic living. Ben is an award-winning designer, writer, and former Design Lead at the iconic innovation firm IDEO, and he co-founded Make Believe Works where they help people build deeper relationships and discover their authentic purpose through creative activities. Ben has spent much of his time working with people and teams, helping them progress toward the things they really want. Ben says we all want inspiring experiences, meaningful work, and deep relationships. But those generally require risking vulnerability, inviting disappointment, and trusting others. So, we hesitate, settle to remain safe, and stay stuck. So he's worked to lessen the perceptions of risk, and this was why I had him on the show. Ben has a new book, SAFE DANGER: An Unexpected Method for Sparking Connection, Finding Purpose, and Inspiring Innovation. As you will hear, I really honed in on looking at what is really most at risk, and so often it is only our identity. Anxiety about what people might think. I’m not going to cheerlead that everyone quit caring what others think, but I’m definitely working to shine light on the issue and help us see how unfounded the concern often is. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin

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What Becomes Possible When We Quit Protecting Ourselves w/ Jordan Grumet May 22, 2026

Show notes

I believe much of what motivates our life perspective and choices is around protecting ourselves. It’s human nature. I’m not talking about self-absorption, but even amongst the most giving and serving and confident of people, I still experience a lot of motive and behavior around self-protection. I’m including myself in this as well. My guest today has a very unique perspective on this concept. My guest is Jordan Grumet. Jordan was an internal medicine physician who left clinical practice to devote himself to hospice care and deep conversations about life. Jordan walks with people who are given an end of life diagnosis and watches a phenomenon happen right before his eyes. Jordan says, “We are all living versions of stories, but when a person is diagnosed with a terminal illness and death becomes a near future certainty, something remarkable happens: the self-protective stories about identity, work and money crumble, leaving them with clarity about who they are, what they love, and what really matters.” He then cites they become free, as there is no reason to hold up pretense and no need to protect themselves. Their focus shifts from fear of loss toward the possibility of what can still be gained, and people focus on true desires, generally for the first time. The tragedy is they didn’t achieve this perspective, long ago in their lives. Which is why Jordan took his experience and wrote a book, Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor's Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life. He’s striving to help us leave our lives of self-protection and move to considering what is truly possible, now. Not waiting till death is imminent and we have a short time to do what really matters. You can connect with Jordan at his podcast, Earn & Invest

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