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    Kids & Family

    Securely Attached

    Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child’s adolescence and every stage in between.

    Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship.

    And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We’re answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the “rules.”

    From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parentβ€”this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust.

    About Sarah Bren, PhD
    Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.

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    Copyright: Β© 2023

    • Apple Podcasts
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    Latest Episodes:
    Parenting with the "Whole-Brain": How to work with the brain rather than fight against with Dr. Dan Siegel Sep 03, 2024
    Show notes

    Is your child explosive? Do you struggle to keep your own emotions in-check, then feel guilty after you lose your cool?

    We're all working with the same equipment and understanding the basics of what is happening in our kid's brains and our own brains when we get dysregulated can have a huge impact on how often we're able to stay calm in the face of life's chaos.

    I am honored to be joined once again by Dr. Dan Siegel to explore:

    - The "window of tolerance" - what it is and how to use it to help you and your child stay grounded, even during stressful moments.

    - Dan performs a visceral Yes/No Exercise that listeners can follow along with to become a more effective regulator of your own threat response.

    - There is no such thing as being perfect, real secure attachment boils down to proper repair after you lose your cool. We cover the most effective strategies and tools for facilitating repair in your relationship with your child.

    - Everyone has innate temperament and personality traits (like sensitivity, intensity of their reactions, and their response to novelty), but do those proclivities become intensified by our attachment relationships?

    - How to apply these strategies to kids who don't fit the mold - who are sensitive, explosive, neurodiverse, or quick to become dysregulated.

    - Dan's views as a psychiatrist on how medication and clinical interventions can be properly used with children.

    - How to look at any diagnosis from the perspective of integration versus disintegration - and by looking at it this way, what that means for treatment.

    LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. DAN SIEGEL:

    https://drdansiegel.com/

    A FEW OF DAN'S BOOKS FOR PARENTS TO GET STARTED WITH:

    πŸ“š Parenting from the Inside Out

    πŸ“š The Whole-Brain Child

    πŸ“š The Power of Showing Up

    πŸ“š No-Drama Discipline

    CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 The neuroscience of mindfulness with Dr. Dan Siegel

    🎧 How to use mindfulness for ourselves and our children with Diana Winston

    🎧 How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele


    Q&A: How can I get my child to cooperate without using threats? Aug 29, 2024
    Show notes

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

    3:49 - How a child's developmental ability to conceptualize time is different than adults' and how this gets in the way of them sharing our sense of urgency.

    6:58 - Kids often have trouble transitioning to things they don't want to do, we'll talk through strategies for helping them tolerate this better.

    8:10 - The difference between a bribe and a positive reward, and when to use each.

    10:45 - How integrating moments into the routine that promote autonomy and help your child feel a deeper sense of control can make a big difference.

    12:25 - How Dr. Sarah adds elements of playfulness and gamification into the routine with her own kids.

    18:55 - There is a huge tradeoff to our kid's mental health if they are obedient because they are are afraid of us - but that doesn't mean it wouldn't make parenting easier.

    REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

    ⏰ Kids Visual Timer or Sand Timers to help your child learn about time

    πŸ“– My FREE workbook with 6 games to help you incorporate playfulness while teaching your child emotion regulation skills

    WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS TOPIC?

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that covers a 10-step framework for getting your child to change their behavior in just 3 weeks

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child doesn't listen to you

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bribery

    WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

    Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!


    Lessons from a crisis negotiator: Utilizing conflict resolution strategies in your parenting with Karleen Savage Aug 27, 2024
    Show notes

    In this episode, I'm sitting down with hostage and crisis negotiator Karleen Savage to share practical strategies to help you manage conflict and family dynamics.

    In this episode, we explore:

    1. Crisis Negotiation at Home: How to apply professional conflict resolution techniques to everyday parenting challenges.

    1. Encouraging Accountability: A framework for structuring conversations with your child that fosters honesty, responsibility, and effective communication skills.

    1. The Role of Playfulness in Discipline: The surprising power of levity and humor in diffusing tense situations and helping kids learn from their mistakes.

    1. Mantras for Success: How to meet your children where they are emotionally, helping them navigate conflicts while feeling understood and supported.

    1. Building Resilience: Practical tips for creating an environment that promotes self-awareness, confidence, and problem-solving skills in your kids.

    Tune in to get tools you can use to turn conflicts into growth opportunities for your whole family!

    LEARN MORE ABOUT KARLEEN SAVAGE:

    https://www.karleensavage.com/

    READ KARLEEN'S BOOK:

    πŸ“š The Confident Teen Blueprint

    CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:

    🎧 How to resolve conflict, prioritize our needs, and set appropriate boundaries with Dr. Rick Hanson

    🎧 How to talk so your teen will listen with Elizabeth Bennett

    🎧 Fostering deep, authentic and connected conversations with your kids with Rebecca Rolland


    Q&A: How can I build my toddler's assertiveness skills? Aug 22, 2024
    Show notes

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

    4:38 - What Dr. Sarah says about assertiveness skills that causes Dr. Rebecca to have a major eye-roll moment.

    6:08 - The assertiveness skills that you can expect to see at different stages of your child's development - and how to allow these things to shift, change, and be fluid.

    7:02 - Understanding what is happening in your toddler and young child's brain as they grow, so you can be mindful of leaning into patterns that create neural connections that can serve them best throughout their life.

    11:15 - Exactly when and how to step in when you observe an interpersonal conflict that supports your child while still allowing them to build their own problem-solving skills.

    16:15 - How to build assertiveness skills outside the heat of the moment. And why these can also impact skills related to sharing, flexibility, and resilience.

    22:43 - Strategies for parenting in a world where we have so much access to always be monitoring our kids - when it's helpful and when it becomes a hindrance for us and for them.

    REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

    πŸ“š All Mine by Terrific Toddlers

    WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SIMILAR TOPICS?

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler learn to share

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler feel seen, validated, and understood with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about having a healthy relationship with technology with Emily Cherkin

    WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

    Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!


    Busting positive parenting myths to help you authentically foster secure attachment and connection with Raised Good's Tracy Gillett Aug 20, 2024
    Show notes

    Are you feeling overwhelmed with all the conflicting parenting advice out there? In this episode, I'm joined by Raised Good's Tracy Gillett to discuss how one simple guiding principle can serve as your parenting compass.

    In this episode, we explore:

    - How the attachment relationship comes into play when our kids are "pushing our buttons" and what we can do to decrease how often they test the limits.

    - What rupture and repair is and how this can be an underrated and incredibly impactful strategy to utilize in to strengthen your connection with your child.

    - The empowering mindset shift you need to start "breaking the rules" and trusting your gut, plus how to get past the anxiety that can come with making these decisions.

    - The single overarching question you can use as your guiding compass (spoiler alert: it's all about connection) to inform every single parenting question and choice you're faced with throughout your child's life.

    - The trap we can find ourselves in between authenticity and attachment, and how to help our kids avoid those same pitfalls we may have experienced in our own childhoods.

    - The misconception that you must choose between connection and discipline, and exactly how we can effectively discipline our kids.

    - Practical strategies for building your parenting toolbox, like how and when to "bank connection," where to incorporate playfulness, and much more!

    Whether you're new to parenting or looking to deepen your connection with your kids, this conversation will offer valuable insights and practical tips on how to parent with intention and authenticity.

    LEARN MORE ABOUT TRACY GILLETT:

    https://raisedgood.com/

    REGISTER FOR THE FREE RAISED GOOD ONLINE SUMMIT:

    The 2024 Raised Good Online Summit

    LEARN MORE ABOUT TIMEOUTS AND EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE:

    πŸ“š READ Tracy's blog post

    🀳 DOWNLOAD my free effective discipline guide

    🎧 LISTEN to my podcast interview with Sarah R. Moore

    CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

    🎧 How nurturing shapes our child's brain and sets them up for lifelong mental health with Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum

    🎧 How to use the attachment relationship to help your toddler fall and stay asleep with Eileen Henry


    Q&A: A 10-year-old's take on starting a new school year, navigating friendships, and what he wants every parent to keep in mind Aug 15, 2024
    Show notes

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, me, and and a very special guest talk about...

    2:48 - The changes a 5th grader, Henry, is expecting are in store for him before the start of a new school year and how he feels about them.

    4:22 - What it feels like to meet new people and how a kid views making new friends.

    5:13 - The one thing Henry thinks would help him feel ready for the start of school, and what he thinks all parents should know would help your own kids.

    8:04 - The most helpful tools and strategies he uses that help him stay focused in the classroom and how he talks to his teachers to get them to understand why these things are useful for him.

    11:05 - How he calms his nerves during the summer before he knows who his teacher is, the other kids who will be in his class, and what he can expect in the fall.

    13:38 - What makes him feel supported most by his parents when a kid at school is mean to him and what Henry thinks are the best thing other parents can do with their own kids.

    19:26 - Managing technology, navigating group texts, and what his group of friends do during their in-person hang outs.

    WANT TO LISTEN TO SIMILAR PODCAST EPISODES:

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping our kids form strong friendships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about handling peer rejection in early adolescence with Dr. Emily Upshur

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking to your child, tween, and teen in a way that helps them truly hear you with Elizabeth Bennett

    WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

    Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!


    A deep dive into potty learning: Everything you need to know to successfully potty train your child Aug 13, 2024
    Show notes

    Is potty training causing your stress or anxiety? I'm unpacking everything you need to know to help your child learn to use the potty with more confidence and ease.

    In this episode, we explore:

    - Readiness Signs: What to look for physically, behaviorally, and emotionally to know if your child is ready to start potty training.

    - Setting the Stage: What to do before you start potty training to create a supportive environment that encourages independence and reduces pressure around the potty.

    - How to Potty Train: Practical tips and personal stories of how to actually start potty learning once you've determined your child is ready.

    - Navigating Accidents and Setbacks: How to stay calm and empathetic during the inevitable ups and downs, and when taking a break might be the best next step.

    - Avoiding Common Pitfalls: Why reward systems might not be the best approach, and what to do to foster intrinsic motivation instead.

    Whether you're just starting or already in the thick of it, this episode offers you a compassionate and realistic approach to getting your child to start using the bathroom.

    CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:

    🎧 A conversation about pediatric pelvic health with Quiara Smith

    🎧 How to use the attachment relationship to help your toddler fall and stay asleep with Eileen Henry


    Q&A: My kid's hands are always in their pants, how do I set a boundary without shaming them? Aug 08, 2024
    Show notes

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

    3:40 - As a culture, we don't often talk about the way the body works and it can be shocking for parents when we see our young child have an erection or explore what feels good to them.

    4:50 - Finding that in-between space between understanding that this isn't sexual at this age and also acknowledging that this feels good.

    7:38 - When, where, and how it's best to have these conversations with your child.

    9:22 - Understanding that kids sometimes touch their private parts as a way for self-soothing can help you identify if they are doing that in public as a means to regulate and how you can support that need in a more appropriate manner.

    13:55 - We don't want to infuse shame in exploring your body, but hand-in-hand with that comes addressing safe and healthy boundaries.

    17:58 - Understanding the nuances of privacy.

    WANT TO LEARN MORE THIS TOPIC?

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sexual abuse prevention and teaching body safety to children with Feather Berkower

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising your child to be sex positive with Dr. Holly Richmond

    WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

    Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!


    Pelvic care, energetic healing, and body wisdom: Taking a holistic approach to women's health with Tami Lynn Kent Aug 06, 2024
    Show notes

    What if the key to unlocking your full potential lies in a part of your body that's often overlooked and misunderstood? This week we're diving into the transformative world of holistic pelvic care with Tami Lynn Kent.

    In this episode, we explore:

    1. Integrating Eastern and Western Approaches: The importance of integrating both physical therapy for the pelvic floor as well as energetic practices, like breath work and meditation to help women connect with their pelvic regions.

    1. Addressing Gaps in Female Healthcare: Highlighting significant gaps in female healthcare and the importance of understanding the anatomy of the pelvic bowl to empower women.

    1. Supporting Mothers: What it means to "mother from your center" and how to tap into this in your parenting.

    1. Feminine versus Masculine Energy: The importance of understanding and balancing feminine and masculine energy within ourselves.

    1. Practical Tips for Pelvic Health: Practical advice for integrating holistic pelvic care into your daily life, emphasizing the importance of tuning into your body and harnessing your innate wisdom.

    Join us for this enlightening episode as we delve into the vital topic of pelvic health and discover how to better support and honor our bodies.

    LEARN MORE ABOUT TAMI LYNN KENT:

    https://www.wildfeminine.com/

    PICK UP A COPY OF TAMI'S BOOKS:

    πŸ“š Wild Feminine: Finding Power, Spirit & Joy in the Female Body

    πŸ“š Wild Creative: Igniting Your Passion and Potential in Work, Home, and Life

    πŸ“š Wild Mothering: Finding Power, Spirit, and Joy in Birth and a Creative Motherhood

    CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:

    🎧 Cycle syncing, restorative practices, and natural rhythms with Dr. Jessica Plancich Shinners

    🎧 The neuroscience of mindfulness with Dr. Dan Siegel

    🎧 Bridging ancient wisdom and modern science with yoga therapist Nicole Katz


    Q&A: What do I do if my child would never stop eating unless I restrict them? Aug 01, 2024
    Show notes

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

    3:02 - The combination of a child who loves eating and a mom's anxiety about how much she is eating can be tricky.

    4:04 - Strategies for slowing down mealtimes to build your child's ability for "tuning into their belly" versus just enjoying the taste of the food.

    5:29 - What types and methods of restrictions are appropriate and which ones do you want to try to avoid.

    10:42 - Understanding what is your job as a parent and what is your child's job, from the division of responsibility principles from Ellyn Satter's work.

    12:14 - Limiting foods that are highly enhanced to make the flavors so rewarding that hunger/fullness cues are easily drowned out by the desire for more dopamine hits.

    16:51 - Zoom out and look at meals of the week versus each individual meal.

    17:44 - If your child does eat too much and feels uncomfortable from being too full, that can help them learn too.

    REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

    πŸ“š Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, Revised and Updated Edition by Ellyn Satter

    WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MEALTIMES AND FOSTERING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS TO FOOD:

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about cultivating your child's healthy relationship with food with registered dietician & nutritionist Katie Thomson

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about picky eating and ARFID with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about diet culture with Amelia Sherry

    WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

    Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!


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