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[PREVIEW] The Pronatalists Are Coming May 16, 2025

Show notes

The technofuturists want it. The evangelicals want it. The creepy manosphere dudes want it. The current iteration of the American right wing may be an odd and sometimes contradictory coalition, but there’s at least one thing they all unite around: More babies.

President Trump has dubbed himself “the fertilization president,” while his vice president, J.D. Vance, notoriously has bemoaned “childless cat ladies” as a social ill and suggested that people with children should get more votes. Elon Musk has fathered at least 14 children as part of an ideologically driven quest to save civilization with his “legion” of offspring. The Trump White House has considered a number of proposals for boosting the birth rate, including a motherhood medal for women who have six or more children.

Meanwhile, pronatalist influencers like the noxious Simone and Malcolm Collins are flocking to the predominantly white, male, and conservative Natal Conference to advance the cause and draw attention to what they deem a population crisis.

What exactly is going on here? Why has the right suddenly become obsessed with birth rates, and what policies will they push to achieve their fertility goals? Why are these so-called pro-family advocates utterly uninterested in policies that would both improve the lives of parents and children and potentially raise birth rates, like universal free childcare? And how has the left responded to this renewed breeding obsession? After months of reading and raging about these questions, we decided we needed to talk it out. In this podcast, we try to follow all of these threads — and, to be transparent, we also vented a lot of sputtering fury.

Below, we’ve compiled a list of articles we read prior to this conversation, many of which are cited in the podcast. Gently poach your brain in a pronatalism soup, if you will! Sarah Jones’s essays for New York Mag are particularly illuminating on the historical context and dark undercurrents of the right wing’s fertility fever.

Hope you enjoy! xo

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[PREVIEW] 'The Valley' Proves You Should Never Trust A Boys Chat May 12, 2025

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We’re back with another chat about “The Valley,” one of the darkest and most compelling reality shows on TV. And our main takeaway from episodes 2-4? Ban the boys chat.

A whole lot happens during this stretch of episodes, all of which we get into on this week’s subscriber podcast.

Jax, still playing the victim even as he verbally assaults his soon-to-be ex-wife Brittany, heads off to a mental health treatment center. And once he’s there, does he put his head down and focus on getting the help he needs? Of course not! Instead he focuses on rage-texting Brittany around the clock.
Janet and and Zack seem to reach a detente, as do Janet and Kristen. And we learn one of the most endearing facts about Janet to date: She absolutely fucking loves Dave & Busters.
Jesse starts a rumor on an extremely rancid “boys chat” thread — truly anyone who would participate in a group chat started by Jax Taylor, straight to jail — that his soon-to-be ex-wife Michelle is a sex worker who is sleeping with a billionaire for $1500 a night. This is relayed to camera by Danny to Luke, and obviously it gets back to Michelle in the middle of Janet’s Dave & Busters birthday bash. No one in the group seems to give the rumor any credence, but it (understandably) deeply hurts Michelle.
We learn that a few months before filming Danny got blacked out and got deeply inappropriately handsy with Melissa, Jasmine’s girlfriend. (Yikes!)
The gang heads off to a weird vibes trip to Santa Barbara, spearheaded by Jesse and co-planned by Kristen. (A truly dark-sided alliance, these two.) It’s filled with races, New Age spiritual ceremonies, and, of course, man-baby meltdowns.

Let us know how you’re liking our coverage of “The Valley”! Are there other Bravo shows you’d like us to dip our toes into?

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[PREVIEW] How We Learned To 'Wear Whatever The F [We] Want' May 02, 2025

Show notes

When “What Not To Wear,” a fashion makeover show starring stylists Clinton Kelly and Stacy London, first aired on TLC in 2003, the two of us were in the midst of our high school years — smack dab in the middle of style self-discovery and anxiety. If anyone yearned for clear-cut style guidelines, it was us.

Clint and Stacy were funny, beautiful, and cool; two fashion experts in their early 30s. They seemed genuinely invested in helping people dress better, but the show was… of the moment. “What Not To Wear” was a makeover show with a healthy dose of humiliation and fatphobia, baked into each episode’s very structure. The ambush! The 360-mirror! The snarky voiceover! And then there were the stringent rules that stuck with us for decades, like how a woman should never wear horizontal stripes, lest she appear wider than she really is. The aughts were an era of vigilant body policing — taut midriffs good, mom jeans bad — and fashion “rules” were just one way to enforce mass submission.

More than twenty years after its premiere, Clint and Stacy are back on our TV screens, with a new makeover show and a different message. The times have changed and so have they, and out of that seismic shift, “Wear Whatever The F You Want” was born. The new show is softer and the clothes are more playful. Each episode is about making fashion dreams come true, no matter what they are. A woman who grew up Amish wants to explore a Dolly Parton-inspired look. A trans man wants to find his authentic style after feeling like he had to let go of more feminine pieces after his transition. Clint and Stacy use their expertise to help each subject refine their personal style in a bespoke way. There aren’t really any rules, just a whole lot of joy. And the final looks absolutely crackle as a result.

We started thinking about the ways our own relationships with fashion and style have changed over the years. Like Clint and Stacy, we’ve let go of the rules of our adolescence and instead have found ways to experiment with texture, structure and shape. But how did that happen? What exactly changed? What was the moment that we have ourselves permission to play? And how have we settled into styles that truly feel like us now that we’re far into our 30s? We discuss it all during this episode.

Please take a moment to appreciate our personal fashion evolutions below:

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[PREVIEW] 'You' Unmasks Its Villain Apr 25, 2025

Show notes

After four seasons cutting a bloody trail across the United States and Europe, Joe Goldberg has come home. The fifth and final season of Netflix thriller “You” finds the bookish serial killer (played by Penn Badgley) back in New York, married to his latest love, and surrounded by every comfort money can buy. His wife Kate is a billionaire and the CEO of her late father’s megacorporation, which she is using her power to transform into a force for good. Her money has covered up his bloody history, restored his son Henry to their custody, and vaulted Joe into media hunk status: he’s the ultimate wife guy, a humble hottie who holds Kate’s purse at photoshoots.

But if there’s one thing we can count on, it’s that no measure of domestic bliss and financial stability can quell Joe’s murderous rampages. Before the first episode has even ended, Joe is itching to kill again. Inevitably, Joe finds himself with an inconvenient new romantic fixation, a new stash of bodies to hide, and a psychological coping mechanism — acceptance. In season 5, our killer has decided to fully embrace his passion for murder, which he reframes as a noble impulse for protecting those he loves.

With his new lover, Bronte, Joe explores the genre of dark romance, glamorizing the idea of a violent and abusive male hero whose brutality seduces and ultimately protects the heroine. But there are twists galore that complicate their love story, not to mention his marriage and the stability it provides.

In this episode, we recap Joe’s journey, discuss whether it stuck the landing, and unpack the season’s themes — the dark romance genre, twins and doppelgangers, true crime TikTok and the manosphere, class and power, and more. And with that, we bid a final farewell to “You.” Hope you enjoy! xo

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[PREVIEW] 'The Valley' S2 Is A Study In Male Rage Apr 17, 2025

Show notes

“The Valley” is ostensibly a show about the lives of a group of friends and frenemies in their mid-30s to mid-40s as they navigate babies, divorces, and messy social situations. However, what it’s actually about is the harrowing nature of legally tying yourself to a toxic, dangerous man!

The central force of the sophomore season of the Bravo show is the split of two couples who were overtly dysfunctional in season one: Jesse Lally and Michelle Saniei, and Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright. It’s the latter of these two couples (read: Jax) who really gives viewers a crash course in male rage, manipulation, and abusive dynamics. In the premiere, Brittany recounts a harrowing incident where Jax flipped a table into her knee after reading her private texts with another man while they were separated. (And had mutually agreed to see other people!!!!)

The whole thing is utterly horrifying; a small peek into the toxic behavior that Brittany has likely been suffering through for a decade. (It’s also no surprise that some of these behaviors would escalate during a period of time when she’s attempting to leave him.)

In this episode, we dig into “The Valley” season 2 premiere, including Jax’s alarming patterns of behavior, the continuation of the Kristen-Janet drama, and the pleasure Jesse takes in torturing Michelle. We also listened to a handful of podcast episodes that came out ahead of the premiere so you don’t have to! Hope you enjoy. Xo

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[PREVIEW] 'White Lotus' S3 Left Us Unsatisfied Apr 10, 2025

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Our favorite rich-people-being-shitty-in-paradise prestige scripted TV show, “The White Lotus” just wrapped up season 3, and we have to be honest: Much like Laurie (Carrie Coon), or Timothy Ratliff (Jason Isaacs), we didn’t have our best vacation ever.

Season 3 of Mike White’s dark comedy finds us at a White Lotus resort in Thailand, where we reconnect with Belinda (Natasha Rothwell), the betrayed and downtrodden wellness director from season 1. Belinda is here for an extended training program, so that she can bring home all the wellness techniques the Thai location has become famous for offering. But soon, Belinda runs into one of the resort’s neighbors: Tanya’s widower, Greg (Jon Gries), who has fled here under an assumed identity to enjoy his inheritance and avoid being investigated by the Italian authorities for taking out a hit on his late wife.

We also meet new White Lotus guests. There’s Rick Hatchett (Walton Goggins), a tormented and vengeful man whose gorgeous and spiritual young girlfriend Chelsea (Aimee Lou Wood) hopes to heal him with the power of her love. There’s Jaclyn Lemon (Michelle Monaghan), a TV star who has treated her two oldest girlfriends, Trump-voting mom Kate (Leslie Bibb) and New York attorney Laurie (Carrie Coon) to a luxurious getaway that is quickly spoiled with backbiting and tension. And, of course, there’s the Ratliff family: Timothy (Jason Isaacs), a successful businessman and scion of a wealthy North Carolina family, his lorazepam-addicted and materialistic wife Victoria (Parker Posey), and their three kids Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger), Piper (Sarah Catherine Hook), and Lochlan (Sam Nivola).

The staff we see dancing attendance on this miserable rich people include Belinda’s teacher Pornchai (Dom Hetrakul), the sweet security guard Gaitok (Tayme Thapthimthong), his crush Mook (Lalisa Manobal, better known as Lisa from Blackpink) who pushes him to show more cutthroat ambition, obsequious manager Fabian (Christian Friedel), meditation coach Amrita (Shalini Peiris) and sexy wellness butler Valentin (Arnas Fedaravicius).

“White Lotus” is famous for its sharp-edged social comedy, which helps ratchet up tensions that end up exploding into violence or catharsis in the final episode. But this season often just felt… aimless. Long shots of monkeys and crashing surf weren’t counterbalanced with enough freighted conversations and meaningful moments of characterization or even, God forbid, plot. Instead, it dragged on until a movie-length finale that tried to tie up too many disparate plot holes with resolutions that were both too heavily telegraphed and too abrupt.

Mike White defended himself on an episode of the official “White Lotus” podcast, saying, “There was complaining about how there’s no plot… part of me is just like bro, this is the vibe. I’m world-building. If you don’t want to go to bed with me then get out of my bed. I’m edging you! Enjoy the edging.” This seems like an apt description of earlier seasons. But, to be honest, this season often felt more like going to bed with someone can’t find your erogenous zones.

By the finale, the show was littered with Chekhov’s guns and obvious setups to obvious twists. We spent the almost 90-minute episode watching the guns go off, the characters spell out their motives and feelings, and the twists click into place.

And that’s not even getting into the gender politics of this season, which felt more heavy-handed than ever. But did we hate it all? Of course not! It’s “The White Lotus,” and Parker Posey was there! So we had a lot of conflicted thoughts to sort through alongside our critiques.

In this episode, we dug into the whole season — our frustrations with it, our favorite parts, our problems with how the show explores masculinity and its pitfalls, that Carrie Coon monologue on how time creates meaning — and what we hope season 4 might have in store for us.

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[PREVIEW] Paige DeSorbo & Craig Conover's Breakup Has Culture War Vibes Apr 04, 2025

Show notes

When the end of “Bravo” stars Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover’s three-year long relationship became public in December, it seemed like everything was going to be handled amicably.

"I have so much love and respect for Craig. I think he is one of the best people I have ever met in my entire life," Paige said on her podcast, Giggly Squad. "I will remain the biggest fan of him and want the best for him and he truly will get the best because he is the best. But with that said, I think it was just the right decision for both of us moving forward in our lives and the direction in our lives that we didn’t force."

But shortly after, things started going downhill. Craig addressed the breakup on IG stories in a way that made it clear that he hadn’t precipitated it. And then the rumor mill went wild: Was there cheating involved? Had Paige moved on immediately with another man?

As fans became rabid for a villain, Paige and Craig’s casts — “Summer House” for the former, “Southern Charm” for the latter — lined up behind them, ready for PR battle.

Because both shows were airing in the aftermath of the split, Bravo was ready to capitalize on public interest. Season 10 of “Southern Charm” and Season 9 of “Summer House” have been littered with breakup easter eggs; freighted moments where the cracks of Paige and Craig’s not-yet-ended relationship are showing. And what we’ve ended up seeing is a breakup positioned amidst a culture war: On one side, Craig’s South Carolinian bros are ribbing him about how his girlfriend wears the pants in the relationship and isn’t ready to move to a farm and pop out a baby. On the other, Paige’s girls are calling out Craig’s “hater energy,” suggesting that perhaps he’s not secure enough to truly support a partner who is shining more than him.

In this episode, we dive into the incentive structures of public relationships, the fascinating way that this breakup has been positioned on and off Bravo, and the competing visions of femininity and masculinity that are presented on “Summer House” and “Southern Charm.” Hope you enjoy! Xo

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[PREVIEW] 'Severance' S2 Is Getting Too Real Mar 22, 2025

Show notes

The only people who anticipated the completion of “Cold Harbor” as eagerly as Jame Eagan and the Lumon Board were, well, the entire audience of Apple TV+ hit “Severance.” And we had been waiting a long, long time. Season 2 was famously delayed and delayed, arriving almost three full years after season 1, and the second season took a little while to hit its stride. The explosive finale finally dropped on Thursday, bringing us some (though not all) of the answers we were seeking about the experiments being done on Gemma, the purpose of the goats, and how the ill-fated love triangle between Mark, Helly, and Gemma might end. Though the final scenes seemed like a fitting ending for the series, never fear: Season 3 is in the works, and there are plenty of threads to pick up and potential storylines to pursue.

For now, however, we wanted to talk about what it all means, and how season 2 continued to build out a world that uncomfortably mirrors our own rapidly changing reality. Themes of alienated labor and exploitation remain the foundation, but the second season of the show had more to say about the fascistic valences of big tech, religious cults, and the patriarchal control of reproduction. (Sound familiar?) Motherhood — in particular the care work associated with motherhood — is another one of the bonds often severed or corrupted in the world of “Severance.” Lumon’s conception of parenthood is one that involves top-down control of fertility and reproduction; nurturing and mutual care are only threats to the regime. We also dig into the relationship between innies and their outies, a bond which in itself echoes not only pregnancy and parenthood, but another real-world avenue for reproduction of the self: personal branding. And, of course, we save a little time to appreciate Tramell Tillman absolutely rocking out to a marching band from Choreography and Merriment.

Hope you enjoy!

Reviews and essays we discuss:

James Poniewozik, NYT: “‘Severance’ Season 2 Will Blow Your Mind(s)”

Sara Petersen: “Severance Has Mommy Issues”

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[PREVIEW] Unpacking The Meghan Markle Discourse Mar 14, 2025

Show notes

When Meghan, Duchess of Sussex’s new lifestyle show, “With Love, Meghan,” premiered on Netflix last week, the reactions were swift… and negative.

“‘With Love, Meghan’ Is a Montecito Ego Trip Not Worth Taking,” declared Variety. “Meghan Markle Pioneers New Frontiers in Unrelatability,” said Vulture. The Guardian called the show “toe-curlingly unlovable TV.” Audience reactions were largely even less charitable (and considerably more racist) than the critical ones.

These are big feelings elicited by a show that can best be described as placid ASMR; the kind of television programming perfect for half-watching at the nail salon or while you’re doing laundry. “With Love, Meghan” is full of color-coordinated platters, celebrity cameos, Montecito kitchen-core, wooden monologues, a few delicious-sounding simple recipes, and SO MANY FLOWER SPRINKLES. The content is a little boring, wholly inoffensive, and falls soundly in the grand tradition of domestic arts lifestyle content targeted towards women. So why the collective freakout instead of a collective yawn?

We had to dig through the discourse and sort out what it is about Meghan Markle Sussex that makes everyone lose their minds. Hope you enjoy! Xo

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[PREVIEW] 'The Traitors' S3 Finale Was Honestly Pretty Perfect Mar 07, 2025

Show notes

Claire is out sick, so the wonderful Kelsey McKinney joined me to recap the “Traitors” finale! Go order her book! Also: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS!

During this season of “The Traitors,” a 10+ year dedication to Bachelor Nation finally payed off. The people have discovered Gabby Windey — but us real ones (a.k.a. “Bachelor(ette)” fans — knew all along.

On Thursday night, the third season of “The Traitors” US edition had its season finale and reunion, and the former did not disappoint. (The latter was sweet and fun, but not so juicy.) We ended up with a final 6 that consisted of two gamer Traitors from different franchises, 1 former Bachelorette, 1 gay royal, 1 Zac Efron’s brother, and 1 Housewife. And our gal Gabby really shined. Her one-liners! Her catsuit! Her cool, calm and collected face-off with Danielle at the roundtable! 10/10, no notes.

In this episode we get into Carolyn and Danielle’s downfalls, Britney’s late Traitor recruitment, our ragtag team of Final Faithfuls, and one last Tom Sandoval gem. Hope you enjoy! Xo

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