Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Latest Episodes:

Love Stories: Embodied Sisterhood with Drs. Lindsay & Lexie Kite Dec 28, 2021

Show notes

For this special Love Stories episode, Dr. Alexandra welcomes identical twins Dr. Lindsay Kite and Dr. Lexie Kite to Reimagining Love. Lindsay and Lexie received PhDs in the study of women’s body image and have become leading experts in body image resilience and media literacy. Dr. Alexandra dives deep with the Kites to hear about their childhood growing up as identical twins, tracing how the challenges and joys of their sisterhood led them to the important work they do today and how their relationship has evolved through every stage of life.

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More Than a Body: Your Body is an Instrument, Not an Ornament by Drs. Lindsay and Lexie Kite

https://bookshop.org/books/more-than-a-body-your-body-is-an-instrument-not-an-ornament-9780358645573/9780358229247

The Kites’ website:

https://www.morethanabody.org/about-us/

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

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Relocating for Love: Finding Agency in Accommodation with Vienna Pharaon Dec 21, 2021

Show notes

How do we know when we are too accommodating in relationships, or not accommodating enough? Dr. Alexandra invites therapist and friend Vienna Pharaon on the show to talk about major life transitions and how they can impact our intimate partnerships. Together, they answer a question from a listener who is struggling to adjust to a new city and lifestyle, after having moved where her partner is doing his med school residency.

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Vienna Pharaon’s e-course, “The Origins of You”:

http://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com/

Vienna Pharaon’s Instagram, @mindfulmft

https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/

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Dating Again: Healing the Past, Embracing the Present with Elizabeth Earnshaw Dec 14, 2021

Show notes

A listener question about dating after divorce spurs a fascinating discussion between Dr. Alexandra and guest expert Liz Earnshaw, a marriage and family therapist and author of the new book I Want This To Work. Liz and Dr. Alexandra offer encouragement and possibilities to this listener as he considers looking for love in this new chapter.

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

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Referenced in this episode:

Liz Earnshaw's book: I Want This to Work: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age

https://bookshop.org/books/i-want-this-to-work-an-inclusive-guide-to-navigating-the-most-difficult-relationship-issues-we-face-in-the-modern-age/9781683647959

Gottman’s “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

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(Re)Gathering for the Holidays Dec 07, 2021

Show notes

The holidays are upon us. How do we want to do things differently this year? Dr. Alexandra discusses how to make the most of gatherings with loved ones, from having compassionate conversations, to taking breaks, to connecting over shared memories.

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

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Games to spark connection and conversation:

Table Topics:

https://www.tabletopics.com/

Heads Up:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wb.headsup&hl=en_US&gl=US

Where Should We Begin? A Game of Stories (Esther Perel)

https://www.estherperel.com/where-should-we-begin-a-game-of-stories

Catch Phrase:

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Hasbro-Catch-Phrase-Ultimate-Edition/662820541

Love Lingual:

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Language-Conversation-Icebreakers-Relationship/dp/B0857JK41W/ref=sr_1_54?keywords=conversation+games&qid=1637347490&sr=8-54

Referenced in this episode:

Priya Parker in conversation with Krista Tippett:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/priya-parker-remaking-gathering-entering-the-mess/id150892556?i=1000537146183

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Love Stories: Unconditional Love with Moe Ari & Sandra Brown Nov 30, 2021

Show notes

In this first “Love Stories” episode, Dr. Alexandra sits down in the studio with Moe Ari and his mother, Sandra Brown. Originally assigned female at birth, Moe has used his own gender transition story to help many others discover their authentic voice and navigate the difficult journey of alignment, as a therapist and mindset coach. Moe and Sandra discuss their respective experiences of Moe’s transition, sharing the moments of realization, layers of grief, and unconditional love that allowed them to deepen their relationship through this major transformation.

Subscribe to the newsletter:

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Moe’s website:

https://theemoeari.com/moeari

Moe’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/loveoutproud/?hl=en

Additional resources:

Moe Ari on the Mark Groves Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/169-love-is-transcendent-with-moe-ari/id1282044290?i=1000536000678

The Gift of Gender Authenticity | Jean Malpas TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCQEcR7pi_Q

Ackerman Institute's Gender & Family Project: https://genderandfamilyproject.org/

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Getting Your Needs Met: Relationship Boundaries with Shadeen Francis Nov 23, 2021

Show notes

Therapist Shadeen Francis joins Dr. Alexandra to respond to a listener who is interested in opening up her marriage, but is facing resistance from her partner. They use this question as a springboard to explore the topic of disclosed non-monogamy, unmet needs, mental health and communication in a long-term partnership.

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Shadeen’s Website:

https://shadeenfrancis.com/

Shadeen’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/shadeenfrancis/

Terry Real's book, "I Don't Want to Talk About It":

https://terryreal.com/product/i-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/

Learn more about the topics covered in this episode:

The Flexibility of Female Sexuality with Wednesday Martin (The Psychology Podcast): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz3JiuNGnGs

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy (Jessica Fern): https://bookshop.org/p/books/polysecure-attachment-trauma-and-consensual-nonmonogamy-jessica-fern/3871723b9baf49f9?ean=9781944934989&next=t

Relationship Bill of Rights (Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux): https://www.morethantwo.com/relationshipbillofrights.html

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Dating & Dealbreakers: Lessons from Reality TV with Nick Viall Nov 16, 2021

Show notes

Nick Viall starred on the 21st season of ABC’s The Bachelor and hosts the popular podcast The Viall Files, where he discusses all things Bachelor Nation. On this episode, Dr. Alexandra chats with Nick about the national conversations that The Bachelor franchise spurs about relationships, gender, and dating, and how these conversations can be both productive and divisive. Nick shares experiences and tools from his own relationship and helps Dr. Alexandra answer a listener question about defensiveness. (CW: brief mention of sexual harassment & abuse)

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Dr. Alexandra Solomon: A Clinical Look at the Break-Up of Katie & Greg (The Viall Files):

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-alexandra-solomon-a-clinical-look-at-the-break/id1448210981?i=1000531152178

Breaking Down Marriage 101 with Dr. Alexandra Solomon (The Viall Files):

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/breaking-down-marriage-101-with-dr-alexandra-solomon/id1448210981?i=1000505891430

Nick's Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/nickviall/

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Difference as a Bridge: Cross-Cultural Love with Dr. Adia Gooden Nov 09, 2021

Show notes

Dr. Alexandra is joined by guest expert Dr. Adia Gooden for an in-depth discussion about loving across a cultural difference. Together they answer a listener question and then broaden out to discuss racial, ethnic, religious, and political differences in intimate partnerships. Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Gooden validate the challenges these couples will likely face while also highlighting the beautiful possibilities for growth, richness, and respect between two individuals with different origin stories. This episode also explores the ways that cross-cultural relationships have the potential to send positive reverberations through families, communities, and beyond.

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

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Dr. Adia Gooden’s website:

https://dradiagooden.com/

Pew: Intermarriage in the U.S. 50 Years After Loving v. Virginia:

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2017/05/18/intermarriage-in-the-u-s-50-years-after-loving-v-virginia/

Pew: Interfaith marriage is common in U.S., particularly among the recently wed:

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/06/02/interfaith-marriage/

Pew: Shared religious beliefs in marriage important to some, but not all, married Americans:

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/10/27/shared-religious-beliefs-in-marriage-important-to-some-but-not-all-married-americans/

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Inviting a Reluctant Partner Into Relationship Work Nov 02, 2021

Show notes

When one partner is ready and committed to doing the deep emotional work of improving a relationship, and the other partner is not quite there yet, it can feel like a difference that is impossible to bridge. In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra explores “Relational Self-Awareness Discrepancies,” sharing tools and ideas that couples can use to generate empathy and move to a place of understanding and growth when faced with this common issue.

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Mentioned in this episode:

Dr. Gabor Mate: https://drgabormate.com/

Dr. Sue Johnson: https://drsuejohnson.com/

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Loving Through Crisis: How We Reconnect with Esther Perel Oct 26, 2021

Show notes

How do we reconnect with our loved ones, and ourselves, during times of global crisis? On this episode, Dr. Alexandra is joined by renowned psychotherapist and author Esther Perel to puzzle through this pressing question. You may recognize Esther’s voice from her celebrated TED talks, which have garnered more than 30 million views. Her bestselling books delve into topics of desire, infidelity, and sustaining mystery and excitement in long-term relationships. Together, Esther and Alexandra address a nuanced listener question about whether to move forward with a relationship that has fallen flat during the COVID-19 lockdown.

They also share information about Esther’s upcoming conference, Sessions Live, which is dedicated to therapists, coaches, and other professionals who help people navigate the complexities of modern relationships. Reimagining Love listeners can get a discount on their Sessions Live ticket by using the code “reimagininglove” at checkout: https://sessions.estherperel.com/sessions-live-2021

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Mentioned in this episode:

Terry Real:

https://terryreal.com/

UCSF burnout study:

https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2021/04/420231/frontline-health-workers-across-us-faced-unique-stressors-during-covid-19

The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller:

https://bookshop.org/books/the-wild-edge-of-sorrow-rituals-of-renewal-and-the-sacred-work-of-grief/9781583949764

Adam Grant on Languishing

https://www.ted.com/talks/adam_grant_how_to_stop_languishing_and_start_finding_flow

Lisa Fortuna: