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Raising Daughters — Kids & Family
Raising Daughters

Raising a daughter can be deeply rewarding, but understanding what she is thinking, feeling, and experiencing is not always easy. Raising Daughters helps parents build stronger relationships with their daughters and confidently navigate the challenges of childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood.

Hosted by developmental and behavioral pediatrician Dr. Tim Jordan, each episode provides practical guidance on the real issues girls and their families face today, including anxiety, confidence, friendships, school pressure, emotional health, social media, relationships, communication, independence, and leadership.

Through expert interviews, honest parenting conversations, real-life experiences, and insights from girls themselves, you will learn how to communicate more effectively, support your daughter’s emotional wellbeing, encourage resilience, set healthy boundaries, and remain a trusted influence as she grows.

Whether you are raising a young girl, supporting a teenager, or working to strengthen your relationship with an adult daughter, Raising Daughters offers useful ideas and meaningful conversations you can apply in everyday family life.

Follow Raising Daughters for weekly guidance on raising confident, resilient, and emotionally healthy girls.

Copyright: © Tim Jordan, MD

Latest Episodes:

High School Grads: Don’t miss these 10 Strategies to Ensure a Successful Life May 11, 2022

Show notes

Show Notes: Dr. Jordan shares 10 strategies to help high school grads launch successfully into their future What have you learned about you so far? Academically, socially, relationships, interests, aptitude, passions Overcoming adversity: reframe any negative beliefs about yourself and be in charge of your story Create your own picture & set intentions for what you want Learn to savor the moments Cultivate quiet, alone time to think, reflect, make decisions, and express feelings Here’s how to find and surround yourself with supportive friends Embrace the uncertainty about your future, be open to dots, and let your life unfold in your way Teach your parents how to support you and know that it’s time for you to know what’s best for you Learn from your mistakes and failures Be the architect of what it means for you to “have it all”, define success on your terms If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together…there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart…I’ll always be with you. A.A. Milne For more timeless wisdom for high school grads, read Dr. Jordan’s book, Letters From My Grandfather: Timeless Wisdom For a Life Worth Living
Thank you for listening to my podcast. Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

Understanding And Supporting LGBTQ Girls May 04, 2022

Show notes

Coming to terms with one’s sexuality is not easy. For our adolescent girls, this could be a time full of confusion and stress. As parents, how can we best understand and support our LGBTQ girls as they grapple with their sexualities and identities? Tune in to this episode as Dr. Tim Jordan offers his guidance.
I’m seeing more and more adolescent girls who are questioning their sexuality. Most of these girls feel confused, stressed & anxious because they aren’t sure what they are feeling & what it means long-term. Their parents and teachers often feel confused, some are angry, and are unsure of how to best support them.
Research has found that LGBTQ+ youth are more likely to experience stress and fear in school than their non-LGBTQ+ peers, resulting in bullying, verbal harassment, and physical assaults. It’s no wonder these kids experience more depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and suicidal thoughts than their non-LGBTQ peers.
My intention for this podcast is to give you some education about this issue, but mostly to offer you my observations about what I have seen & heard from girls in the past several years to help you better understand your daughters & their friends.
I clear up misconceptions about the many new labels that these girls come to them with, i.e. gender queer, bisexual, pansexual, gender-nonconforming, queer, transgender, or cisgender. I also discuss the use of different pronouns that girls prefer.
When a girl tells you they identify with one of these labels, I encourage you to always ask them what that means exactly for them; some are misinformed; confusing labels, better to describe feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
Most of the LGBTQ girls I work with are in questioning their sexuality; i.e. they are in the process of understanding and exploring their sexual orientation and/or gender identity and gender expression. Dr. Jordan describes many reasons why girls are undergoing this questioning process.
I tell girls to relax & take the pressure off, they don’t need to KNOW now, let life unfold more & their sexual orientation will become more obvious as they get into later teens & beyond.
Girls need safe spaces to talk about their feelings & thoughts; keeping secrets creates a lot of stress & anxiety, get caught in their heads ruminating worst-case scenarios; talking about it moves them from amygdala to verbal centers & PFC, reason supplants emotions. Secrets make girls feel alone, isolated, lead to fear and panic, depression, they think they are the only one.
Girls need their parents to be nonjudgmental, caring listeners; to be a sounding board, and to remain an influence in their lives.
Sometimes the girls are clear about who they are, have embraced it, but those around them haven’t & that mismatch is what causes them anxiety & stress & anger. We are all always becoming, never done growing or changing, okay to not be “there” yet, learn to embrace their growth & the uncertainty that comes with it.
Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.com
For more information on terminology and resources for kids in the LGBTQ community, check out this site: © 2014 Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network www.glsen.org
Understanding LGBT kids article: https://youth.gov/youth-topics/lgbtq-youth/school-experiences
Thank you for listening to my podcast. Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

Why Amazing Girls Often Feel Lonely: An Interview With 3 “Old Souls” Apr 21, 2022

Show notes

This is Dr. Jordan’s fascinating interview with three high school girls about what it’s like to be an old soul.
SHOW NOTES:
Questions the girls answered:DESCRIBING “OLD SOULS”

What does it mean to be an “old soul”?
When did you 1st notice you were different/ saw things different/ noticed and felt things different?

OVERWHELMING EMOTIONS:

Ever get overwhelmed with emotions b/c feel so deeply?

SOCIAL CHALLENGES:

Was it hard to stay out of dramas? Feel alone or different? Out-of-the-loop?
Sometimes get into judging peers as immature, stupid? Cost to you?

USING THE CONCEPT OF “I’M AN ASS, YOU’RE AN ASS”

“I’m an ass, you’re an ass” concept: understand peers vs. judge; most people sleep walking thru life, don’t expect more from them or will be constantly disappointed
Understand and accept them where they are
Different levels of friends: acquaintances vs. BFF’s; not write people off

HOW “OLD SOULS” FIND THEIR TRIBE

Find tribe! How Camp Weloki helps them, safe spaces, like minded friends, older friends, job
Fully engaged in passions: Smart Girls Gifted Women book

THE BENEFITS OF BEING AN OLD SOUL
Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.com.
If you’d like more info on how to create a safe environment so that girls will share more with you, click on this link to sign up for Dr. Jordan’s online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need.
Thank you for listening to my podcast. Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

Letting Go Of Your Teenager Starts In Infancy Apr 13, 2022

Show notes

Letting go of your teenager starts in infancy. In this connect-disconnect pattern, it will persist throughout childhood. But letting go in infancy will develop a reciprocal interaction. Dr. Jordan will provide an insightful discussion on letting go of your kids and providing a safe home base. So, what are you waiting for? Tune in to this episode and make it easier for your teenage kids to launch into the world. Show Notes: Letting go in infancy involves developing a reciprocal interaction where you honor their needs and allow the leadership to change. This connect-disconnect pattern will persist throughout childhood.Kids and teens need a safe home base, like nurturing parents they can come back to for comfort, encouragement, and grounding.Letting go is a life-long process: Dr. Jordan points out many opportunities we have during childhood to turn things over to our children, such as sleeping thru the night, handling their fears and other emotions, advocating for themselves, solving their problems and conflicts, giving more say-so and decision-making, handling their mistakes and failures, only giving advice if asked or given permission, giving them free will to fail so they can choose to succeed and own the successes, give them the responsibility to know what’s best for them, and getting out of their way so they can forge their path and story.Dr. Jordan describes the importance of kids finding safe bases, like mentors, to encourage, guide, and inspire them. Summary: letting go starts in infancy & continues at each stage of development. Seeing letting go as a life-long process makes it easier at age 18 when they launch into the world.
Thank you for listening to my podcast. Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

How You Parent Matters: Don’t Screw Up Your Kids Apr 07, 2022

Show notes

Parenting profoundly shapes your children’s future. Dr. Tim Jordan distinguishes between two key parenting styles: authoritarian and authoritative. Exploring the impact on children raised in authoritarian homes, Dr. Jordan discusses his version of moral development stages linked to parenting styles. He emphasizes the need for parents to prioritize character over achievement and refrain from excessive pressure on excellence. Join Dr. Tim Jordan for an essential conversation on the significance of adopting an authoritative parenting style for nurturing well-rounded individuals.
Show Notes:How you parent matters, and the style of parenting you employ will have long-term effects on who your kids become.
Dr. Jordan describes two main parenting styles: authoritarian and authoritative.
Authoritarian or Autocratic Parenting: Parents tend to make rules and set high expectations but lack warmth, nurturance, feedback, and support. Authoritarian parents tend to “rule with an iron fist.” They are often described as strict, demanding, cold, critical, and punitive. Mistakes tend to be punished harshly. When feedback does occur, it is often negative, and parents will punish kids by withholding expressions of affection.
Yelling and corporal punishment are also common, and parents utilize punishments with little or no explanation. Obedience and conformity are valued highly.
Dr. Jordan describes the feelings, decisions, and behaviors of kids who grow up in authoritarian homes. He also discusses how spanking has been found to be associated with increased risk of 13 detrimental outcomes, including aggression, antisocial behavior, impaired cognitive ability, mental health problems and physical injury, and rebellion.
Authoritative or Democratic Parenting: autonomy-supportive parenting, recognize & sensitive to child’s needs and desires, let kids take initiative and follow their lead, respect child’s perspectives, encourage child to experiment, encourage creativity and out of the box thinking, encouraging, play-by-play announcer, give choices & decision-making, solve own problems & think critically about the reasons behind each rule, support autonomy, safe and stable base, emotionally warm, close, and nurturing, long-term goals of self-control & self-motivated & self-responsible & self-determination.
Value development of self-control & self-responsibility vs obedience
Samuel & Pearl Oliner study on non-Jews who risked lives to save Jews during Holocaust: their parents had used an authoritative style of parenting
Kids who grow up with this kind of parenting are more willing to take initiative, willing to take risks, continue to go to parents for advice, more cooperative & collaborative, have healthy coping skills & grit and the ability to learn from mistakes, good problem-solver, motivated to persevere, fully engaged in passions and work, more focused, higher achievement, higher executive functioning and prosocial behaviors, lowest risk for psychopathology, share more with parents, they are more empathetic, kind, and warm, have respect for adults, other people, and rules.
Dr. Jordan discusses his version of the stages of moral development and how it relates to parenting styles. He also encourages parents to be sure they are aware of not valuing achievement over character or adding excessive pressure to excel.
Contact Dr. Jordan: drtim@drtimjordan.com
Check out Dr. Jordan’s online parenting course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need
Thank you for listening to my podcast. Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

How To Help Kids Develop Empathy Mar 31, 2022

Show notes

Developing more empathy results in kids having greater courage, stronger relationships, and the ability to solve problems peacefully. Today, Dr. Tim Jordan describes what empathy is and shares how you can help kids learn to develop more of it. Show Notes: · There are many ways we can help kids develop more empathy resulting in them having greater courage, stronger relationships, and the ability to solve problems peacefully.· Dr. Jordan describes what empathy is and the importance of perspective taking. He describes several ways he works with groups of girls in classrooms and at his camps to get in the shoes of their peers and see things from their point of view.· There are numerous ways to support your children to develop more empathy including pretend play, reading together and reading history and pausing to ask questions about how characters are feeling and how they might feel in that situation. Dr. Jordan discusses the value of helping kids empathize with people who are different from them and to respect people of all races, religions, and other characteristics.· He also points to the importance of acknowledging kids whenever they go out of their way to show kindness and compassion, in big ways and small.· Finally, Dr. Jordan describes the African concept of Ubuntu as a way to think of empathy and interdependence. For more great ideas about supporting girl’s emotional lives, watch Dr. Jordan’s online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need
Thank you for listening to my podcast. Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

Why You Might Be Overprotective And Over-Involved In Your Children’s Lives Mar 24, 2022

Show notes

Ever wondered if there are hidden reasons behind overprotective parenting? Join Dr. Tim Jordan as he uncovers the Vulnerable Child Syndrome and the haunting effects of “Ghosts in the nursery.” Learn how early experiences shape parenting and discover solutions to break free from the past’s influence.
Show Notes:There are reasons behind why parents micromanage, overprotect, overindulge, and become over-involved in their children’s lives. In this podcast, you will learn about the concept of the vulnerable child syndrome and the effects of “Ghosts in the nursery.”
Vulnerable child syndrome: kids become vulnerable to being parented differently because of experiences like problems getting pregnant, problems during the pregnancy, perinatal problems at delivery, or any issues in the baby’s 1st month. Worries about their child are planted in parent’s minds that sprout later on into ineffective parenting.
Ghosts in the nursery are any unresolved experiences or emotions from parent’s past that can resurface and “HAUNT” their parenting; Psychiatrist Selma Fraiberg describes them as visitors from the unremembered past of parents, the uninvited guests at the christening.”
Unresolved issues and feelings from parents past can include things like being neglected or abandoned, feeling shy and left out, living in a home with parents with addictions, problems with infertility or miscarriages, difficulties during the pregnancy, postnatal problems like slow weight gain or failure at nursing, or illnesses in the first year.
Dr. Jordan tells stories to illustrate each of these “ghosts” as well as the places where ghosts commonly appear: sleep issues, feeding, discipline and tantrums, dating, mental health concerns, school concerns, and letting go.
Solutions: Dr. Jordan describes the need for parents to become aware of any ghosts that may be affecting their parenting, bring any related feelings to the surface and express them in order to normalize them. These emotions will then no longer have power over you.
Parents can then make the connection between their ghost and their present parenting behavior = “Maybe that’s why I have such a hard time letting go”.
Contact Dr. Jordan: drtim@drtimjordan.com
For more information about effective parenting strategies, read Dr. Jordan’s book, Keeping Your Family Grounded When You Are Flying By the Seat of Your Pants.
Thank you for listening to my podcast. Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

Our Children Deserve Better Than Aggression & War Mar 16, 2022

Show notes

Title: Our Children Deserve Better Than Aggression & War Show Notes: The war in Ukraine reveals our unhealthy conditioning about aggression, labeling, and focusing on differences. Dr. Jordan uses some insightful stories to raise points about why we use aggression to solve our problems, why labels can be so damaging, and the effect of the war on children. There are many things we can do to shift out of our conditioning to change our world view. Become aware of our conditioning and work at transcending it to a higher level of behavior and consciousness. Focus more on our commonalities than our differences. Treat others as they deserve to be treated, with kindness and compassion and understanding vs judgments and hatred. Here some pertinent quotes from Mr. Rogers about looking for the helpers during crisis times and how to transcend differences. Understand the African concept of ubuntu as described by Archbishop Desmond Tutu: Ubuntu is the essence of being a person. It means that we are people through other people. We cannot be fully human alone. We are made for interdependence; we are made for family. When you have ubuntu, you embrace others. For information about Dr. Jordan and his camps for girls and his publications, go to www.drtimjordan.com
Thank you for listening to my podcast. Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

Don't Allow Fears to Ruin Your Children's Childhood Mar 10, 2022

Show notes

Children’s childhood is not all about joyfulness and playfulness, but a couple of dangers as well. There are two fears that drive parents to push and micromanage their children:
The fear that their kids are going to fall behind their peers and not keep up with the Jones’s kids.
Fear of how do I prepare my child for a future that is so much different than my experience.
So, parents fill kid’s schedule with enrichment classes, professional coaching, premier summer sports camps, test prep, early specialization.
Parents also overfocus on achievement instead of character.
All of this is telling us something about how we view childhood.
Childhood is not a race or a contest where parents feel they must mold/ micromanage, motivate child to stay on course we set for them.
Kids are missing out on knowing themselves and being distracted from what’s really important: getting to know yourself, self-exploration, reflection, contemplation, quiet time, self-awareness, social-emotional intelligence, try different things, take risks, develop self-efficacy, no time to just be!
GS/HS should be about growing up, learning social-emotional intelligence skills, autonomy to pursue interests, figure out what you like & aptitude, sample.
Let kids be kids! Build their own story and make their unique mark on the world (Bobbi Brown story).
Thank you for listening to my podcast. Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

The Gift That Keeps On Giving? Covid! Mar 03, 2022

Show notes

Show Notes: And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about. Haruki Murakami We are far enough along in the pandemic to zoom out and take a broader look at it vs. just keep rehashing statistics of the number of new cases, hospitalizations, and deaths. I encourage you to choose to focus on what you have learned about yourself and life because of it of it. What lessons have you learned these past two years? More importantly, what have your children learned about themselves and life because of the pandemic? Questions to ask your children: How have you grown? Emotionally? Spiritually? What have you learned about handling your emotions, especially frustration and fear? How have you learned to deal with uncertainty? Change? How did you deal with losses? People, events, experiences What habits or activities did you do that helped your mood and ability to cope? What have you learned about overcoming adversity? What have you learned about your level of resilience? Are you more confident & optimistic? Lessons about creating your own structure for schoolwork and learning? Forced to be more independent & self-motivated How you kept your relationships strong despite social isolation. How did you stay connected? Forced to let go of things we had no control over & decide what you DO have control over? My moods, feelings, reactions, outlook, where I spend my time and energy, who you surround yourself with You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass. Timber Hawkeye Lessons transferable to other adversities, challenges, and obstacles; developing a growth mindset is discussed Gifts: What are some of the gifts you received b/c of covid? More time with family? Closer connections? Started a new hobby? Learned to play an instrument? Did more arts and crafts? Learned to enjoy your alone time? Learned to handle your boredom? All of man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone. Blaise Pasqual Spend time reflecting on these questions, journal your answers to internalize the lessons & gifts, discuss as a family; change the focus from loss and negatives to gratitude and growth
Thank you for listening to my podcast. Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

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