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Raising Daughters — Kids & Family
Raising Daughters

Raising a daughter can be deeply rewarding, but understanding what she is thinking, feeling, and experiencing is not always easy. Raising Daughters helps parents build stronger relationships with their daughters and confidently navigate the challenges of childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood.

Hosted by developmental and behavioral pediatrician Dr. Tim Jordan, each episode provides practical guidance on the real issues girls and their families face today, including anxiety, confidence, friendships, school pressure, emotional health, social media, relationships, communication, independence, and leadership.

Through expert interviews, honest parenting conversations, real-life experiences, and insights from girls themselves, you will learn how to communicate more effectively, support your daughter’s emotional wellbeing, encourage resilience, set healthy boundaries, and remain a trusted influence as she grows.

Whether you are raising a young girl, supporting a teenager, or working to strengthen your relationship with an adult daughter, Raising Daughters offers useful ideas and meaningful conversations you can apply in everyday family life.

Follow Raising Daughters for weekly guidance on raising confident, resilient, and emotionally healthy girls.

Copyright: © Tim Jordan, MD

Latest Episodes:

Why Women Don’t Scream, Fight Back, or Report Sexual Assaults and Rapes Sep 04, 2023

Show notes

Show Notes: Women don’t scream or fight back during sexual assaults and rapes due to protective brain responses and cultural conditioning. In this podcast, listen to the recent story of how World Cup soccer player Jenni Hermoso was forcibly kissed by soccer federation president Luis Rubiales and how this experience mirrors so many other times when girls and women have had their boundaries crossed. Learn the sobering statistics of how few rape cases are reported, prosecuted, and convicted and why this is so. Understand how the brain changes how it is encoding memories during sexual assaults which creates gaps in women’s memories of the assault. Learn how quickly stress hormones are released by the brain during assaults and how these impair the prefrontal cortex and its ability to reason. Learn the brain and evolutionary reasons why women respond to terror and assaults by primitive brain responses such as freezing, tonic immobility, and dissociation. if the fear circuitry perceives escape as impossible and resistance as futile, then not fight or flight, but extreme survival reflexes (which scientists call “animal defense responses”) will take over to try to protect women. Women’s body’s are literally paralyzed by fear, thus making them unable to move, run, speak, or cry out. Women don’t cry out because Broca’s area of the brain, our speech center, shuts down as a way to not draw attention to them; thus, women are literally scared speechless. Dr. Jordan shares ways we need to approach girls and women who have been sexually assaulted or raped to make them feel safe, heard, understood, and supported. This will require education police officers, any first responders, ER staff, doctors and nurses, teachers, and parents. Good resources for further information on this topic: Know My Name by Chanel Miller Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town, by Jon Krakauer Spanish soccer player Jenni Hermosa kissed by federation president Luis Rubiales What people misunderstand about rape article: NY Times, 8-22-23 Jen Percy
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Food Fights and Bedtime Battles: Redirecting Everyday Power Struggles Aug 31, 2023

Show notes

SHOW NOTES: Dr. Jordan many reasons why kids engage us in power struggles including: feel disconnected from distracted parents, intense & powerful temperament, autocratic parenting style, being tired or hangry or overstimulated, pushed to conform to other’s expectations Learn also the need for parents to understand why their child might trigger them to get angry and engaged in these conflicts, including old issues/feelings from our paths
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How to Handle Homesick College Students Aug 24, 2023

Show notes

Show Notes: Learn how to handle calls from homesick college freshmen to empower them to learn how to cope, problem-solve, and grow in confidence. Many parents have been guilty of doing too much for their daughters prior to launching them off to college: solving problems, advocating, rescuing, not allowing her to make mistakes or suffer, wanting her to be happy always This results in girls never learning coping skills, how to handle the normal ups & downs of life, face adversity & struggle thru it to overcome obstacles and gain confidence; they lack the confidence to face adversity and handle it because they weren’t allowed to growing up. Dr. Jordan describes a typical call from a homesick college freshman. He shares how to listen, mirror, normalize and validate their feelings, and then how to turn over the problem-solving to them. Learn some helpful phrases to turn problems back over to them to solve such as: “So, what will you do?” “What have you tried?” “What could you do different?” “How could you approach the problem in a different way?” “What have you done in the past when you felt stuck like this?” “You might want to take a break, calm down, & then come back and try again.” Ask who they could reach out to for support and encourage them to use whatever coping strategies have worked in the past: journal, art, music, poetry, letters, nature, exercise, join a club to meet people like did in HS. Dr. Jordan also discusses how to handle the issues of whether or not to have them come home and also how to set boundaries about phone calls home. For a good read for your high school or college aged daughter, use this link to have them find and read Dr. Jordan’s book, Letters from My Grandfather: Timeless Wisdom for a Life Worth Living Here’s the link for Dr. Jordan’s podcast interview with 4 high school seniors discussing why they are afraid to grow up.
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How Girls Can Turn Physical and Emotional Scars into Beauty Aug 17, 2023

Show notes

Show Notes: Dr. Jordan discusses how girls can reframe past experiences & scars into healthy stories Dr. Jordan describes an exercise he did with his high school campers where they visualized any scars they carry, physical or emotional, from past experiences & which carried strong emotions. The girls then painted something positive and beautiful over their scars where previously they’d seen only brokenness or pain or bad memories. Listen to the stories of the kinds of scars girls carry and the harmful effects on them. Learn some of the ways that Dr. Jordan helped these girls look at their scars in a different light: reframe past negative beliefs with his spiral of beliefs process; visualization of passing shame back to the person who deserves it, not you; journaling your story & what you want to let go of; write a letter to the person who hurt you & then burn it; link to Dr. Jordan’s teaching kids to forgive and move on podcast Journaling about the lessons and gifts you received from the past trauma and scars: learn about Kintsugi, the Japanese art form of repairing broken pottery with gold to represent the idea that beauty can be found in imperfection. Dr. Jordan also discusses the “steeling effect” of exposure to some hardship steels us against impact of future ones. Listen to Dr. Jordan’s previous podcast interview with author Meg Jay (Meg Jay podcast: How to help kids gain resilience and thrive from adversity Click on this link for Dr. Jordan’s podcast on the above-mentioned process of “the spiral of beliefs” For more resources from Dr. Jordan, visit his website at www.drtimjordan.com
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How My Campers Invented the Greatest Game Ever! Aug 10, 2023

Show notes

Show Notes: Creating a lot of down time at our camp allows kids to take initiative & create their own fun and games. In this podcast, Dr. Jordan describes how seldom kids get to experience unsupervised down time where they can take initiative and create their own fun. Dr. Jordan describes the game Snake Pit which his campers created several years ago and how it has evolved with each new week of campers. Older generations were allowed as kids to have much more unsupervised down time where they were left to their own devices to generate their own fun. Learn the many invaluable lessons we learned from having this down time such as street smarts, taking initiative, self-responsibility, and taking responsibility for our boredom. Dr. Jordan also describes the value and benefits from allowing kids to daydream and be bored. Daydreaming and boredom is when our brain is most relaxed & the usual filters are off; this allows moments of greatest creativity, self-awareness, insight, and problem-solving. When we have a choice as to how to fill our empty space, we fill it with our passions, many of which are creative: writers, musicians, designers, and artists often do their best work and get their new creative ideas from moments of being bored. So, when your child says, “Dad, I’m bored” & they want you to take responsibility for it, ask this questions, “So, what will you do?” brainstorm ideas, buy supplies, and turn them loose. Don’t overschedule every moment of their lives; create more down time like we do at Camp Weloki. You’ll be amazed at what kids will create when left to their own devices w/o adult meddling. Check out Dr. Jordan’s weeklong summer camps and weekend retreats at: www.campweloki.com
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The Hardest Gift To Give Is Forgiveness Aug 03, 2023

Show notes

Forgiveness is an internal process that sets you free from negative feelings & thoughts, opening you up for love and happiness. Show Notes: BENEFITs of practicing forgiveness Research has shown that forgiveness is linked to mental health outcomes such as reduced anxiety, depression and major psychiatric disorders. Stress relief is probably the chief factor connecting forgiveness and well-being. Harmful effects of not forgiving Not forgiving results in worse mental and physical health, and economic, social and spiritual problems. When kids are wronged and don’t forgive, they remain “stuck” in the traumatic situation when they felt victimized. Every time they recall the hurtful event, they re-experience their stress response. How do we teach kids about forgiveness? Become aware of the costs to you Forgiveness is for you; it's letting go of any feelings you've allowed the other person to bring up in you. Forgiving others opens up space for growth, happiness, and closeness. Teach kids to be in charge of their feelings and reactions to experiences and other people. Use the tomato word tool and the "I'm an ass, you're an ass" tool to not give their power away. Learn to come from understanding vs. judgement. Replace (-) emotions with empathy, sympathy, understanding, compassion, and love. Contact Dr. Jordan: https://drtimjordan.com
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5 Ways We Are Sucking the Soul Out of Children Jul 27, 2023

Show notes

Show Notes: The following are 5 ways we are sucking the heart and soul out of our children’s lives and with great cost: 1. Lack of down time for unsupervised, self-directed play: kids need the freedom to explore and take things apart and play with ideas. This also requires enough down time for kids to be bored, daydream and really get into the flow of their creative processes. 2. We don’t value the arts: We need to give artists, dancers, musicians, budding actors, and teachers the same amount of financial and emotional support as you give kids in sports. 3. Kids have lost their love of learning: Kids learn to just play the ‘game of school’ and give adults what they want, but they lose their motivation and love of learning in the process. 4. There is too much focus on external motivators: Teens and adults who are driven by internals like being of service and making a difference are happier, more fulfilled, and have richer relationships. Be very careful with what you focus on. 5. Kids have lost the joy of playing sports for the love of the game: Too much emphasis on competition, winning, and achieving college scholarships has drained the love of the game out of youth sports. What kids need: 1. More unsupervised down time for kids to follow their own interests and passions & learn thru play 2. Put as much value and encouragement into activities your kids are into like art, music, theater; let go of the fear they’ll never make $ doing it. 3. Parents & the educational system let go of pressuring kids to all achieve straight A’s and to pad their resumes & do activities b/c it looks good on their college app; teach in a way that kids see the meaning in what they are studying; allow time for kids to pursue their own interests for the love of learning; autonomy, engagement, mastery 4. Playing for plays sake: focus on playing for the love of the game vs. winning or getting a college scholarship Resources: Listen to a previous podcast by Dr. Jordan on How youth sports are negatively affecting our daughters A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink Out of Our Minds: learning to be creative, by Ken Robinson The High Price of Materialism (http://www.amazon.com/The-High-Price-Materialism-Kasser by Tim Kasser
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How Our World Would Be Different If Women Had Been the Storytellers Jul 20, 2023

Show notes

Show Notes: Using her book, Cassandra Speaks, author Elizabeth Lesser describes how our human stories and our views of women would change if women were the storytellers. Elizabeth Lesser describes the mythological story of Cassandra where the god Zeus punished her with the gift of clairvoyance but the curse of no one listening to her or believing her thoughts. This story depicts how our culture still mistrusts and devalues girls and women’s intuition and perspectives. Dr. Jordan and the author discuss what story Eve would have told about picking the apple and about her journey after leaving the garden and what lessons humanity have learned from her story. This podcast discusses the need to redefine courage, power, and leadership vs. make women and girls change to fit the old, masculine model. Elizabeth Lesser describes the imposter syndrome and how it relates to how women doubt and devalue themselves. Learn about what the author means by the need to start valuing and affirming “first, first responders”. Learn also how repressing girl’s anger resurfaces as relationship aggressions and mean girl drama. Link to Cassandra Speaks: When Women Are the Storytellers, the Human Story Changes Read Dr. Jordan’s book, She Leads: A Practical Guide for Raising Girls Who Advocate, Influence, and Lead for more information on empowering our girls.
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Covid’s Lingering Social and Academic Effects On Teenagers Jul 13, 2023

Show notes

Show Notes: Dr. Jordan interviews 4 young adult women about the lingering social & academic effects from covid. Questions discussed in this interview: What grade were you in when covid hit & you had to go virtual? What did you like, dislike about virtual learning? What was it like for you socially when you 1st returned to in-person school? Any lingering effects socially from your covid experience? Still social awkwardness among peers? Anxiety? What did you learn about yourself? Any gifts from the experience? Describe what you learned about coping with adversity & uncertainty from covid and any strengths you discovered that you didn’t know you had. What advice would you give to parents about supporting their kids academically and socially with the lingering effects of covid in mind? For a deeper understanding of girl’s social and emotional lives, check out Dr. Jordan’s online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need.
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The Recipe for Success Contains These Key Ingredients Jul 06, 2023

Show notes

Show Notes: Girls need to decide what success & having it all means for them, & to develop the following qualities to achieve a fulfilling life. The following are key ingredients for achieving success: Create your own end in mind, click here for link to Dr. Jordan’s previous podcast on beginning with the end in mind Autonomy creates engagement which then develops mastery The pursuit of fulfillment will lead them to success, not the other way around Being allowed to solve your own problems and overcome obstacles and challenges helps girls to develop grit, resiliency, and self-efficacy which in turn creates more optimism and hopefulness Learn to trust and follow your intuition, click here for link to Dr. Jordan’s previous podcast on teaching girls to make better decisions Teach girls that most successful adults zig-zagged their way to their calling and success, they didn’t go in a straight line at 18 years directly to their calling Learn to cope with feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and uncertainty, click here for link to Dr. Jordan’s previous podcast on Sunday Scaries & Trigger Warnings Be willing to take risks, make mistakes, learn, and retry Retain your curiosity, love of learning, and creativity Embrace your feminine energies and leadership qualities; Instead of making girls change to fit our masculine leadership paradigm, change the way we all see power & leadership Value people skills and interpersonal effectiveness such as collaboration, resolve conflicts, negotiate, communicate ideas effectively, know your strengths/weaknesses, win-win, sell yourself Focus on more internal, intrinsic values like being of service and doing meaningful work vs. externals like becoming rich and famous Be in charge of what “having it all” means for you For great ideas about how to empower your daughter, check out Dr. Jordan’s book: She Leads: A Practical Guide for Raising Girls Who Advocate, Influence, and Lead For more information on all of Dr. Jordan’s books, camps, and school programs, visit www.drtimjordan.com
Thank you for listening to my podcast. Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

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