Show notes
115 Handling Aggressive Surfers: Surf Coaching Tactics for Confidence, Respect & More Waves
Surf Mastery Podcast
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Have you ever been snaked, dropped in on, or steamrolled by an aggressive surfer who seems to think they own the ocean? Find it hard to deal with localism?
Navigating the lineup isn't just about catching waves—it's about dealing with egos, entitlement, and sometimes flat-out intimidation. If you’ve ever felt powerless or frustrated by alpha surfers who constantly push the boundaries of etiquette, this episode offers a crucial shift in mindset and approach.
Learn how to gain respect in the lineup—even from surf legends like Laird Hamilton.
Discover the psychological principles behind why some surfers bully and how to respond effectively.
Get practical tips for standing your ground calmly and confidently without escalating conflict.
Hit play now to learn how to hold your own in the lineup and start catching the waves you deserve.
Key Points
Introduction of the topic on dealing with aggressive surfers and the importance of standing up for oneself in the lineup.
The host shares a personal anecdote about dealing with Laird Hamilton, emphasizing the need to stand up for oneself and not be a willing victim.
Discussion on the psychological principle that aggressive surfers often connect through conflict and the importance of facing conflict to gain respect.
Advice to match the energy of aggressive surfers and be willing to engage in conflict to earn their respect and avoid being bullied.
Caution about confronting certain individuals, such as psychopaths, and the suggestion to ease into confrontations in crowded lineups.
Reiteration that being bullied in the surf is due to being a willing victim and the importance of not being conflict avoidant to connect with dominant surfers.
Outline
Dealing with Aggressive Surfers
Michael Frampton discusses strategies for handling aggressive surfers, emphasizing the importance of standing up for oneself and adhering to surf etiquette.
Michael shares a personal experience involving Laird Hamilton, highlighting the need to confront aggressive behavior calmly and confidently to gain respect.
The narrative illustrates how matching an aggressive surfer's energy and being willing to face conflict can lead to mutual respect and cooperation.
Michael advises that experienced surfers, especially those who exhibit dominant behavior, will test others. Demonstrating skill, respect for lineup etiquette, and confidence can earn respect.
It is noted that while confronting aggressive behavior is important, one should be cautious and read the situation, especially in crowded lineups, to avoid unnecessary conflict.
Michael suggests that if confrontation is not feasible or safe, finding another surfing spot might be a better option.
Psychological Principles in Surfing and Life
Michael discusses psychological principles relevant to both surfing and everyday life, particularly the dynamics of conflict and respect.
He explains that many dominant individuals connect through conflict and may take advantage of those who avoid it, suggesting that facing conflict can sometimes lead to connection and mutual respect.
Michael advises that if someone is consistently causing problems, such as snaking or dropping in, it may be necessary to match their energy and engage in conflict to resolve the issue.
He emphasizes that surfing is a competitive activity where waves are a limited resource, and surfers need to be assertive to catch the best waves.
Avoiding Conflict with Psychopaths
Michael warns about the presence of psychopaths in surfing and advises caution when confronting aggressive behavior.
He suggests easing into confrontations and reading the situation to avoid dangerous encounters.
Michael emphasizes the importance of knowing when to confront and when to find another surfing spot to ensure safety.
Surfing Etiquette and Respect
Michael stresses the importance of surf etiquette and mutual respect among surfers.
He highlights that standing up for oneself and adhering to lineup etiquette can lead to a more harmonious surfing experience.
Michael advises that experienced surfers will test newcomers, and demonstrating confidence and respect can help earn their respect in return.
Transcription
Welcome back, or welcome to the Surf Mastery Podcast, the podcast that helps passionate, lifelong surfers to catch more waves, surf with more speed, style, and grace, and to gain wisdom and confidence in the water. I am your host, Michael Frampton, and in today's episode, we're gonna learn how to deal with the aggressive surfer.
The arrogant surfer, the take-every-wave surfer, the entitled surfer. We all know who this person is—the person that snakes everyone, drops in on everyone. They are everywhere. How do you deal with this? The first thing you gotta remember is it takes two to tango. Every bully needs a willing victim. Let me tell you a story about how I dealt with the literal take-every-wave attitude of Laird Hamilton.
I used to surf this novelty spot on an outside reef in Southern California. And every now and then, I'd cross paths with Laird. Always tried to be friendly and say hi. He would always just blank me. And then it got to a stage where he started surfing basically on my schedule. We'd almost paddle out together at first.
It was the same thing. I'd try and be friendly to Laird, and he would just completely ignore me and do his thing—take every wave. He was on a standup foil, which was a wave-catching machine, and he himself is a bit of a wave-catching machine. His ability to be in tune with the best wave of the set was pretty admirable.
But even when it was my turn, he'd always just come straight at me on his SUP, on his standup foil. Having Laird Hamilton come straight at you on a foil SUP is very intimidating. And the first couple of days, the first couple of surfs this happened, I just backed down and, "Okay, yeah, take that wave, Laird. I'll catch the next wave of the set."
But after two days of this, I thought, you know what, if you lead, I'm going. And a set wave came through, and I wanted the biggest wave of the set. So did he. But he'd already just taken the biggest wave of the previous set. And I thought, you know what? It's my turn. I'm gonna hold my ground.
And same as before, he got in a little bit earlier than me, and he was pointed straight at me. But I put my blinkers on and I caught the wave. He got scary close, but at the last second, he turned away from me and he continued to surf the unbroken, the shoulder part of the wave, which you can do on a foil board.
And I continued to surf my style of surfing, which was closer to the whitewater. And as we were paddling back, he said, "Hey, that was my wave." I stopped paddling and sat up on my board and looked him straight in the eye and with calm confidence I said, "No, it was my turn." And he immediately gave a cheeky smile and paddled off.
As I joined him at the takeoff zone and sat up on my board, he said in this friendly voice, "Oh, was that a New Zealand accent? Which part of New Zealand are you from?" And from that moment on, we just chatted and swapped waves.
As soon as I chose not to back down and to stand up for—not necessarily my rights—but just general surf etiquette of, "We're both surfing. We're both capable and confident enough to be out here. We can just take turns." As soon as I did that and stood up for myself in a calm way, I instantly gained respect. And that is when he actually engaged with me.
Experienced surfers, especially alpha surfers, will test you. They will intimidate you. But once you prove your skills and you show respect to the lineup etiquette, and you conduct yourself with confidence, you will be respected.
But if you back down and let yourself be intimidated and you essentially gift that person the waves, they will take more than their fair share. Now, that's an extreme example with Laird, but Laird’s an extreme person. And he was being a twat. He was really pushing me and testing me.
But I still, in the beginning, in the first two days when that was happening, I showed him respect. He's a better surfer than me. He's older than me. He probably surfed that spot more than me. But then when it came time, when push came to shove, I held my ground.
The principle here is that I matched Laird's energy and I was willing to face the conflict. Remember, it takes two people to tango. Every bully needs a willing victim.
Another psychological principle here that is relevant not just in surfing but in your everyday life, is that often these alpha males—or the extroverted person, whoever you wanna label them—they actually connect through conflict and they take advantage of those who are conflict avoidant.
So if you're feeling any sort of domination or bullying happening in any part of your life, look that person in the eye and talk about it. Face them and dive into that conflict. You might be surprised—it's actually how you connect with them, because for them, that might be how they grew up.
It might be normal for them. Conflict is a normal way of life. Conflict is how they engage with people, and they don't see it as conflict. That's just normal for them.
If there's someone that you are having consistent problems with, someone that keeps snaking you, someone that keeps dropping in on you, you have to be willing to match their energy and enter some conflict with that person. Because surfing is not yoga with dolphins. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there.
And waves are a limited resource. And if you want to catch some set waves, you better be hungry for it and you better be willing to fight for it.
There are certain people you should not confront. There are psychopaths out there. Ease into it. Read the room. But if you are conflict avoidant, these surfers will run rings around you.
So sometimes it's better just to go and surf somewhere else. So to round off, remember, if you are being bullied in the surf, that is because you are a willing victim.
Side note—remember that my example with Laird was an extreme example because he's an extreme character and it was a one-on-one situation. At your local beach, in a crowded lineup, it's gonna be more of a slow burn over time. You have to ease your way into that. But there will be a point where you have to engage in conflict because if you are conflict avoidant, you will never connect with those dominant surfers and you'll never earn.
So for more surfing tips and information, please check out the back catalog of this podcast.
115 Handling Aggressive Surfers: Surf Coaching Tactics for Confidence, Respect & More Waves
For the passionate surfer—whether you're a weekend warrior, a surf dad, or an older surfer—this podcast is all about better surfing and deeper stoke. With expert surf coaching, surf training, and surfing tips, we’ll help you catch more waves, refine your paddling technique, and perfect your pop up on a surfboard. From surf workouts to handling wipeouts, chasing bigger waves, and mastering surf technique, we’re here to make sure you not only improve but truly enjoy surfing more—so you can get more out of every session and become a wiser surfer. Go from Beginner or intermediate Surfer to advanced.
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