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In this powerful episode, Dr. Cam and Jamie Edelbrock explore the challenges of parenting teens, from managing anxiety and depression to overcoming parental guilt. Jamie shares her personal journey of advocating for her child, building trust, and embracing the power of connection over control. Discover practical strategies for balancing guidance with independence, prioritizing your own well-being, and creating a safe space for your teen to be their authentic self. This is the essential conversation every parent of a teenager needs to hear! WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE How to navigate your teenâs mental health struggles â Tips on addressing anxiety, depression, and the importance of support systems. The importance of building trust and communication â How to foster an open and trusting relationship with your teen. How to balance control and independence â Why letting go and empowering your teen is crucial for their emotional growth. The significance of self-care for parents â How focusing on your own well-being helps you better support your teen. Creating a safe space for your teen to be their authentic self â The power of authenticity in building a healthier relationship with your child. 5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS Mental health challenges are not anyone's fault â Recognize that mental health struggles affect teens across all backgrounds, and it's essential not to blame yourself or your child. Parenting is about balance â Sometimes saying "yes" more often helps create a foundation of trust, making the necessary ânoâsâ more respected. Self-care is non-negotiable for parents â Taking care of your own mental health equips you to better support your teen. Empower your teen with autonomy â Give your teen the space to make decisions and take ownership of their actions, fostering independence. Worrying less about the future helps you enjoy the present â Instead of constantly stressing about your teenâs future, focus on building a positive, supportive relationship in the present moment. ENJOYING THE SHOW? Donât keep it to yourself! Share your favorite episode and leave a rating and review to help other parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical tips for you and your family! RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline If you're in crisis or need support, call or text 988 for confidential help. Available 24/7. Psychology Today Therapy Directory: www.psychologytoday.com/Search for licensed mental health professionals, including therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists near you. National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): www.nami.org/NAMI provides a range of resources for mental health services and local support groups. Jamie's Books: Tangled Up: A heartfelt exploration of mental health struggles and the path to healing, designed to inspire families to stay connected during difficult times. Be the Sparkle: A guide for parents, offering practical strategies to help children feel empowered and spark their own resilience. The Adventure of Little Selfie: A childrenâs book that encourages self-love and mindfulness in young readers. EPISODE CHAPTERS: 00:00 Introduction to Mental Health Advocacy for Parents 02:58 Personal Experiences with Teen Anxiety and Depression 05:59 Navigating Parental Guilt and Finding Support in Parenting 09:04 Building Trust and Effective Communication with Teens 11:51 Why Letting Go Is Crucial for Parenting Teenagers 15:00 Finding Joy and Fulfillment in Parenting Teens 18:02 Balancing Teen Freedom with Parental Responsibility 21:04 The Impact of Worry on Parent-Teen Relationships 24:00 Encouraging Authenticity and Self-Expression in Your Child 26:49 Trusting the Parenting Process and Letting Go of Perfection 30:49 Building Strong, Supportive Relationships with Your Teen 36:44 The Importance of Parental Self-Care for Mental Health 42:41 Empowering Your Teen Through Autonomy and Independence 48:56 The Power of Connection Over Control in Parenting Teens 55:57 Embracing Imperfection in Parenting Teenagers CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Jamie Edelbrock Website: www.jamieedelbrock.com Instagram: @tangledupbook Twitter: @TangledUpBook CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell Website: AskDrCam.com Instagram: @DrCamCaswell TikTok: @the.teen.translator YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Facebook: @DrCamCaswell FULL TRANSCRIPT Dr. Cam (00:02.259):Welcome back, parents. Today, Iâm excited to speak with an amazing author, mental health advocate, and a dear friend of mine, Jamie Edelbrock. Jamie was my very first podcast guest back in 2019, pre-pandemic. We were both stepping into new chapters of our lives, feeling scared but ready to take the leap. Since then, Jamie, youâve become a powerhouse advocate for children's mental health. Youâve published three award-winning children's books: Tangled Up, Be the Sparkle, and You and Me, The Adventure of Little Selfie. And on top of that, youâve been raising your three teen daughters. So, letâs get started. What have you been up to? Itâs been forever. Jamie Edelbrock (00:43.342):Itâs been a ride. We lived overseas in Indonesia for several years. My kids grew up there, and thatâs affected their mental health in ways Iâve learned so much from. Iâve become a strong advocate for mental health, focusing on anxiety, depression, LGBTQ issues, and autism. One of my kids was diagnosed with autism and ADHD, and now Iâm working to become an RBT, doing one-on-one work with kids and families in ABA therapy. Itâs been an adventure. Dr. Cam (01:50.053):The one thing I love about you, Jamie, is that whenever you face a challenge, you donât just ask, "How do I survive this?" You think, "How can I become an advocate for this?" You embrace it, learn from it, and then help others. Thatâs so inspiring. Jamie Edelbrock (02:04.65):Yes. Dr. Cam (02:18.843):Itâs amazing. You keep getting new challenges, and you handle them with such grace. How has your advocacy evolved over time? Jamie Edelbrock (02:31.725):Something I wanted to talk about today is a story I havenât shared much. Itâs about my daughter and her struggles with anxiety, depression, and suicide. She gave me permission to talk about it. She went through a very tough time in Indonesia, and as parents, we thought, "Why would they be depressed? Why would they be anxious?" But Iâve learned that anxiety and depression donât discriminate. It doesnât matter where you come from or what kind of life you leadâit can affect anyone. Dr. Cam (03:12.809):Itâs so true. Jamie Edelbrock (03:37.718):We ended up leaving Jakarta early to get her the help she needed because the right mental health resources werenât available there. I didnât get to see my oldest graduate high school, and there were a lot of sacrifices. But the most important thing was getting her the help she needed. Dr. Cam (03:51.806):Iâm glad you were able to get her the support she needed. Jamie Edelbrock (04:07.102):When we returned to the States, my daughterâs depression deepened. She ended up in the hospital, and she had to stay away from us for a while to get the help she needed. Thereâs nothing that prepares you for hearing your child say, "I want to die," or having them say, "She has to stay here and you canât come get her." That experience was incredibly difficult, but itâs something every parent should know aboutâhow to cope with that as a family. Dr. Cam (04:45.343):Thatâs so hard to imagine. Jamie Edelbrock (05:01.482):And itâs something I want to talk about because, as weâve seen, anxiety and depression donât discriminate. Thereâs no way to predict it. No matter how great your childâs life is, it can still happen. Weâve also dealt with suicide loss. My oldest lost a friend to suicide in 2020, and she ended up saving her best friendâs life from suicide in 2024. These experiences, though tragic, have deeply impacted us, but theyâve also shown me how crucial mental health advocacy is. Nothing prepares you for the weight of it when itâs your own child. Dr. Cam (05:44.549) You spend your life advocating for mental health, focused on your children's mental health, yet you're not able to escape it. Parents feel guilty, shameful, like they're failing. But you're evidence that no matter what you do, We can't always avoid it. So what did you go through processing it as a mom? Jamie Edelbrock (06:22.614) Automatically I thought, I'm doing something wrong. I know all the tips, tools, tricks. She has a good life. We have this set up for her to succeed. I'm doing something wrong. Then I started going back, mom guilt. Maybe I shouldn't have yelled, or done this. That's not the case. I think the first thing besides getting her immediate professional help was getting myself help and professional help and realizing that it's not my fault. I've learned that through therapy. It can be environmental, but it's usually brain chemicals. It runs in our family. While thinking, "what did I do wrong?" I talked to my aunt and learned it runs deep. That was an important key. It's not my fault. Getting her help says you're doing something right. We halted our world, got her what she needed, and got the help I needed. Then I started researching, knowing it's literally her brain chemicals. It's literally how her body and brain are working and something isn't right there. So realizing it's not our fault. We made changes in our lifestyle to help her and us. Dr. Cam (08:42.815) My heart goes out to you. Parents start parenting from fear. They want to prevent their child from going through something, or they don't want anything to happen on their watch. They become hyper-vigilant, constantly asking, "are you okay?" Kids say, "I'd be fine if my parents would just leave me alone." Parents can't let go, building a wall and distrust. Kids don't feel like they can be their authentic selves. How do we manage that fear and the sense that something's wrong without kids opening up? Jamie Edelbrock (10:01.154) We've definitely gone through that. I worry, I'm a fixer. I wanted to protect her, but she made it clear that's not helpful. I need to trust her. As hard as it is, trusting your kids after an event like this, they want to live their happy life. Learning to trust her and that she will tell me if something happens was helpful. Putting other adults in their life is huge because sometimes they don't want to talk to us. She'd say, "I don't like seeing you cry. I don't like hurting you." I had to work on that, get a therapist. Putting other adults in her life was huge. She has a therapist, psychiatrist, trusted adults, friends, and the suicide hotline. I cling to the fact that during her darkest times, she did tell me. And so I cling to that. Anytime she's ever been in trouble, she has come to me. Releasing that and trusting them, knowing it'll come back to you, is healthier. You're opening up that road for them to come. If you cling, you're putting a roadblock up. I've learned to trust they'll tell me. Dr. Cam (12:56.831) Parents struggle most with letting go and trust. They fear, "if I do and something happens, I'm never going to forgive myself." We focus on what we need to feel okay, disregarding what our kids need. How do we live with that fear and discomfort to give our kids what they need to heal? Jamie Edelbrock (13:39.242) I have a phrase: "It's not about me." That's hard because it feels like it is. When they're going through anything, I automatically think, "how is this gonna look? This hurts me. What is this gonna say about us, about our family, about me as a parent?" Especially as an advocate. Having kids do something my old community wouldn't agree with, "what are people gonna say?" I have to freeze and say, "it's not about me." My focus is my children, making sure they are their truest, best, and healthiest selves. It's putting your ego aside and asking, "how can I help you thrive?" That's our job. That saying helps Dr. Cam (15:17.533) It's true and hard to let go. When it's our kids, they are not an extension of us. We often parent as if they are representing us. We are responsible for who they become. We are responsible for being the parent they need to become who they are. It's difficult to see we're not molding them. We are supporting and influencing them and their choices, but we are not controlling that. When they're going down dark paths, it's our job to be there, not to stop them. That is a very difficult thing for parents to hold on to. It's like, yes, it's my job to stop them. Jamie Edelbrock (16:17.302) It's not safe or it's not what I would do or it's not what society would do. You have to think, are they not making a good choice for you or for them? I always say to myself and my kids, I'll let them make their choices. I sit back and I've learned to do that. Do it. If it fails or if you need help, I'm here. Everything in this life is figureoutable. If you try this and it fails, come to me and I will help you figure it out. If you don't come to me, that's okay because I know you can figure it out too. It could be the worst thing, it can be figured out. We will get through this. If I'm lucky enough, I get to help you. Just letting them know, I'm here. I will help you get through this if you want me to. Another phrase I say is, do you want me to help you or do you just need a hug? Instead of automatically thinking I have to help you? I used to be such a fixer. That caused a lot more attention. You think if you fix something, you step in, I'm going to do it. It's insulting. You're doing them a disservice because they can't do it themselves. It's saying you don't trust them. Just even by saying, "what are you going to do?" and "do you want my help?" or "how can I help you?" A lot of times it's "I can do it" or "I'll let you know." We have three teenagers. One's getting ready to move out. That's also, how can I help? I don't want to overstep. I want to wrap you in my arms and make sure you, bubble wrap. I always joke with them. But that's not true. Our job as parents is to let them fly. If you stick with, "I'm here for you and we're gonna figure it out," they will come back if they need help. Dr. Cam (19:09.971) Parents get hurt or offended when their kids don't take their advice or won't listen. For me, I'm excited because that shows my teen feels confident to try to figure it out and not lean on me. There's nothing offensive about that. I'm like, yay, you. You got this. Jamie Edelbrock (19:36.138) You did it. Dr. Cam (19:39.781) It's another thing of it's not about me. It's about what does she need? You have to set aside your ego. I have found my daughters typically more right than I am. She has a way better memory and knows herself better than I know her. There's no way for me to know her better because I'm not in her head. Jamie Edelbrock (20:10.502) My kids will always say, "you don't know what's in my head." Or "I got this." Or the best thing I can hear is, "I already did that." You're just like, "okay." They will say, "you don't need to worry." I traveled to Jordan years ago. I was on the top of Petra with a Bedouin shepherd. I was worried. I was asking him worry questions. Instead of enjoying the viewâŚ
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