On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Latest Episodes:

Kerry Washington ON: How To Shift Anger Into Compassion, Shame Into Strength and Break Generational Trauma Sep 25, 2023

Show notes

Have you ever resented someone from keeping a secret from you?

Do you often put other people's feelings before your own?

In this incredibly vulnerable episode with Kerry Washington, we dive into the complicated nature of family and generational trauma. We learn about how both compassion and pain co-exist. We explore how to receive and react to challenging news. This episode is one that you definitely do not want to miss if you have ever dealt with navigating familial relationships and dynamics.

Kerry Washington is an Emmy award winning, SAG & Emmy- nominated actor, producer and director, and activist. Washington received widespread recognition for her role as Olivia Pope on ABC’s hit drama Scandal.

Today we get to see a side of Kerry that we’ve never seen or heard before. She takes us through a journey of unveiling a long guarded family secret. A secret that took her down a journey of transformation, resilience and healing. This is a story that we can all relate to in our own ways.

If you love this episode, Kerry’s new memoir is Thicker Than Water and you can hear even more stories about how Kerry has navigated challenges of life.

This conversation is an invitation to explore the depths of truth, the human heart and the transformative power of rewriting your own story.

In this interview, you will learn:

The family secret that changed her life

How she leaned into compassion and not anger

How do you share challenging news to your children or loved ones?

How she embraced her new truth and allowed herself to take control of her narrative

The secret to what has allowed her to be deeply rooted

How we can hold space for many truths at once

How the revelation of a truth can make way for greater and deeper love

We invite you to join us on this deep exploration of secrets, truth, self discovery and witnessing the power of compassion and love in the presence of pain.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

03:15 What is a childhood memory that stands out to you?

09:11 Kerry describes a panic attack she had at age 7

12:55 “I wasn’t emotionally safe”

16:11 Kerry's feeling of needing to perform at a young age

19:15 Why has Kerry been trying to walk away from acting?

26:30 How we are impacted by our dharma and how we can’t extract our dharna from ourselves

30:37: “I survived a childhood where I learned what truth does not look like and so I am really aware of what it looks like now.”

32:30 How can we get closer to our own personal truth?

33:40: Why keeping ourselves busy = control

37:30 Kerry had to redefine what success means to her

38:08 “Everytime I sat down to write it didn’t feel honest.”

38:50 **book spoiler alert - Kerry shares news that changed her life

39:25 “So my parents sat me down and told me…”

49:25 How to move forward with love after receiving life-changing news

59:08 Growing up with shame

01:03:36 How to have compassion over anger

01:16:16 “Sometimes the truth seems so scary.”

01:16:36 How does a parent tell their kids life changing information?

01:21:19 Bonding together as a family not a part after trauma

01:26:32 How we should allow ourselves to be nurtured by love.

01:32:30 Kerry Washington on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Kerry Washington | Twitter

Kerry Washington | Instagram

Kerry Washington | Facebook

Kerry Washington | YouTube

Kerry Washington | TikTok

Thicker than Water: A Memoir

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6 Step Plan To Block Social Media From Controlling Your Life And Mind Sep 22, 2023

Show notes

How many of us spend our free time on social media?

Do you find yourself becoming unproductive because of it?

Today, we will unravel the ways in which social media can subtly control our minds and lifestyles. The journey begins by acknowledging that if we don't learn to use technology consciously, it can end up consuming us entirely. Step by step, we navigate through practical strategies to regain control and create a healthier relationship with social media.

These strategies guide us toward fostering more meaningful interactions, like detaching from devices during social gatherings, creating 'no technology' zones in our homes, and engaging in curious and vulnerable conversations with loved ones. We also learn the importance of transforming from passive consumers to active creators.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How addictive social media can be

How to develop a healthy screen time

How to spend your time more productively

How to make genuine connections in person

Through these steps, we embark on a transformative journey towards mastering technology, ultimately reclaiming our presence and connection in the digital age.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:14 How does social media control your mind and your life?

06:57 If we don't learn how to use technology, it ends up consuming us

10:42 Step #1 On social media, people talk about themselves 80% of the time

12:39 How can we shift into connecting with others on social media?

15:51 Step #2: Do activities without your phone with your friends

20:00 Step #3: Create a ‘no technology’ zone in your home

23:14 Step #4: Have more curious, vulnerable conversations with people you love

24:59 Step #5: Become a creator not a consumer

26:45 Step #6: Having alternatives is easier than setting blocks

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Becky G ON: Finding Your Sense of Belonging & How to Masterfully Block Negativity and Rejection Sep 18, 2023

Show notes

Do you want to feel like you belong?

Do you want to block negativity and rejection?

In this episode we dive deep into what it means to step into your authentic self and the tools needed to do so.

Today, I welcome multi-platinum, award-winning singer, songwriter, actress, and activist Becky G. The 26-year-old global superstar's long list of achievements include four Latin GRAMMY nominations, four number one hits on the Billboard Latin Airplay Charts, and her debut album Mala Santa (October 2019) is certified 8X Platinum in the United States. In June, Becky released her latest single “La Nena” alongside Gabito Ballesteros giving fans another glimpse of what’s to come.

Becky G did not hesitate to dive deep into the heart of authenticity and self-discovery. We start by awakening to a deeper sense of self, shaking off those social constructs that keep us from being our authentic selves. It's a reminder that it's perfectly okay to embrace who we are and find happiness in that authenticity.

Throughout our conversation, we explore the importance of creating spaces where our uniqueness is celebrated, not just tolerated. We also touch on the idea that it's alright if not everyone likes us - what truly matters is staying true to ourselves.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to tap into your authentic self

How to embrace your uniqueness

How to take risks for success

Why self-love is a must

How to be persistent in adversities

How stay focused on your goal

Join us on this journey of self-discovery and connection, where we celebrate the beauty of being our authentic selves in a complex world.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:41 An awakening for a deeper sense of self

02:48 The social constructs that don’t allow us to be our authentic self

04:27 The concept of not half of this and half of that

09:12 You gotta make yourself happy and stay rooted to your authenticity

12:31 We need spaces where our uniqueness is accepted

15:17 We all come from something so much bigger than us

19:13 Maybe it’s okay if we’re not liked by everybody

25:13 “You have to be willing to do something you haven’t done to get the result you never had.”

28:49 The three-legged table: the mind, body, and soul

34:54 How do you create quality connections?

37:23 “Just because you can, it doesn’t mean you should.”

39:59 Always have empathy and compassion for yourself

46:56 Sometimes a good cry is the best way to release pent up emotions

51:46 “Everything happens for you, not to you.”

58:13 The healing journey of relationships that has ended

01:01:27 Who do you share your failures and successes with?

01:09:29 Starting an acting career after empowered personalities

01:14:49 Finding mutual spaces where you can change and grow

01:17:53 How do you stay open to finding your purpose you have in life

01:20:06 Do you believe in guardian angels?

01:23:45 Did we lose our listening ability when communicating?

01:06:37 Becky G on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Becky G | YouTube

Becky G | Instagram

Becky G | Facebook

Becky G | TikTok

Becky G | Website

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Idina Menzel ON: How to Be Present without Self Judgment or Criticism & The Importance of Consistency to Achieve Your Goals Sep 15, 2023

Show notes

What was your biggest dream as a child?

Growing up, did you have the best environment to pursue these dreams? Or did you need to set them aside for a different purpose in life?

Today, Jay sits down with the iconic voice behind Elsa from the film Frozen, Idina Menzel. Idina's other well-known character is Elphaba in the original Broadway production of the musical "Wicked." She co-authored the children's book, Loud Mouse.

One of the big takeaways here is how our dreams and ambitions are like living entities, always changing and growing, just like we are. As we navigate life's various chapters, our goals shift in response to what matters most to us. It's a reminder that it's perfectly okay for our dreams to evolve and expand as we do.

Idina has a way of nudging us to appreciate diverse viewpoints and experiences. The podcast encourages us to embrace this and to seek understanding and connection with others. There's a powerful message about the strength in being open, vulnerable, and compassionate in a world that can sometimes be a bit harsh.

In this interview, you’ll learn:

How our dreams evolve throughout the years

How to navigate challenges that come our way

How to be less self-absorbed in certain situations

Why understanding someone has limitations

How to allow your authentic voice to be heard

Ultimately, this conversation is like a friendly nudge to live life on our terms, free from the weight of other people's judgments. It's an invitation to explore our ever-changing perspectives, to find strength in resilience, and to chase our passions with fervor.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:31 What keeps you going these days?

06:00 When you start seeing things differently through a different lens

08:43 The story of a young girl learning her way with music through experience

12:23 How ambition and dreams can evolve through the years

16:07 The long developmental process of musical shows

19:46 The mission was to show up and never miss a show

23:39 How do you find perspective and become less self-absorbed?

26:14 How do you stay present in the moment?

31:09 How to communicate through differences with parents and children

35:55 Idina wrote a children’s book that allows children to be more themselves!

40:39 How do you allow your authentic voice to be heard?

41:54 What it is like to revisit a character you played years later

44:27 Why it is challenging to believe we can walk in someone else’s shoes

46:37 Stop worrying about what other people think and live your own life

Episode Resources:

Idina Menzel | Website

Idina Menzel | Instagram

Idina Menzel | YouTube

Idina Menzel | Facebook

Idina Menzel | TikTok

Loud Mouse

Drama Queen Digital Album

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Brian Chesky ON: The Crisis of Disconnection and Loneliness & How to Tap Into Your Creative Potential Sep 11, 2023

Show notes

How far are you willing to go to pursue your passion and achieve success?

Do you sometimes find yourself sitting in silence and getting in your own thoughts?

When we're driven by our passion, we become creative, motivated, and enduring every hardship that comes our way.

Today, Airbnb Co-founder and Chief Executive Officer Brian Chesky sits down with Jay for an honest and eye-opening conversation about the other side of success.

Brian talks about how crucial it is to choose your group wisely for the people you surround yourself with can make a big difference, sharing success with others keeps you from feeling all alone in your victories, and the need for balance between focusing on your goals and creating a community where you can thrive.

Mental health is another important point of discussion as well as the outdated perceptions we have of ourselves that potentially blocks personal growth.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to be wise in choosing your people

How to keep valuable friendships

How to deal with success

How to overcome loneliness

How to be of service to others

How creativity can solve problems

Join us in this engaging conversation as we navigate the twists and turns, seeking wisdom and connection for personal growth.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:16 Choose the people you want to surround yourself with

05:33 Going in a journey that will help you learn something new about yourself

08:47 Never allow arguments to win over your friendships

13:28 Share your success or else it might feel so isolating

18:24 To truly understand someone is to try to walk in their shoes

20:35 That feeling where you don’t fit in anywhere

28:29 Loneliness has led to a lot of mental health issues

34:59 Worry less about what people think, focus on what you can share with others

39:42 There are two words that define being alone - loneliness and solitude

41:40 Creativity is about bringing different experiences together

49:00 Try more things, have more experiences, and avoid seeking status

50:41 What would your younger self tell you now?

55:37 We are who we think other people think we are

57:48 The tendency to make an outdated perception of ourselves

01:00:32 How do you want to be remembered?

01:03:15 Singular focus is good for success but it has limitations

01:09:03 What keeps you up at night?

01:14:19 How do you process your thoughts and ideas?

01:17:38 Finding a shared value and having clarity about what you want to do

01:20:13 Losing yourself while pursuing your passion

01:24:00 How do you want to define family?

01:27:47 The wisdom of older people and the curiosity of a child

01:32:16 Even though things are interconnected, it doesn’t mean they’re all the same

01:36:12 Brian on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Brian Chesky | Instagram

Airbnb

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My Birthday Episode: 12 Lessons I've Learned in the Last 12 Months & Ways You Can Apply Them Into Your Life Sep 08, 2023

Show notes

Each year is a new year to develop new skills and acquire more knowledge.

We also discover more things about ourselves and learn new lessons along the way.

In this birthday episode special, I'm sharing with you some of the biggest personal and professional reflections in the past 12 months. Our relationships greatly influence our well-being so it's crucial to surround ourselves with individuals who uplift and support us. Our bodies are our most essential assets, and nurturing them is a fundamental responsibility.

In reality, even with the purest of intentions, there will always be individuals who seek to undermine or criticize us. It encourages resilience in the face of negativity and a focus on staying true to one's path.

In this episode, you'll learn:

The importance of self-care

How to stay grounded

How to love yourself more

Being perfect isn't required when helping others

How to serve others with gratitude

These valuable life lessons provide a roadmap for personal growth, resilience, and a meaningful life. They serve as reminders of the beauty and complexity of human existence, encouraging us to learn and evolve.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:56 Personal and professional reflections for the last 12 months

02:43 Lesson #1: Be really conscious about who you keep and let go in your life

07:33 Lesson #2: Take care of your body like your life depends on it

12:19 Lesson #3: It’s okay to ask for a hug or help from others

16:40 Lesson #4: Don’t buy into your own hype, stay connected to where you started

19:37 Lesson #5: People will always try to tear you down no matter how good your intentions are

22:10 Lesson #6: Different levels come with different problems

26:11 Lesson #7: As you get older, don't forget to do things for your younger self.

29:45 Lesson #8: Give yourself permission to be all of you

30:22 Lesson #10: You don't have to be perfect to help others

31:11 Lesson #9: You can’t avoid mistakes but don’t avoid the lesson

32:38 Lesson #11: Make new memories instead of living old ones again and again

34:03 Lesson #12: Use your gifts and skills in the service of others.

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Reneé Rapp ON: How to Break the Patterns of Negative Self Talk & Ways to Stop Using External Judgement to Measure Your Achievement Sep 04, 2023

Show notes

Anxiety is an ongoing battle that happens right inside your mind.

Your mind becomes this never-ending movie reel of worst-case scenarios, and it just keeps on playing.

When we're stuck with anxious thoughts, we want to find an escape.

Today, singer and songwriter Reneé Rapp, known for her role of Regina George in the Tony-nominated Mean Girls musical on Broadway, sits down with me to share her incredible journey.

Reneé and I offer insights on how to prepare oneself mentally and emotionally for the inevitable disappointments that life may bring, the insidious nature of self-criticism and its far-reaching effects, and the art of expressing vulnerability without fearing miscommunication.

Self-doubt can be a formidable obstacle to pursuing one's passions. We will also explore the strategies to confront and overcome self-doubt and overcome the role of being one's own harshest critic.

In this interview, you will learn:

How to understand perception and well-being

How to prepare for future disappointment

How to be less self-critical

How to manage your inner voice

How to express insecurities effectively

How to stay resilient in challenging situations

Together, let us transform uncertainties into positivity and look forward to reshaping our mindset.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Reneé Rapp’s debut album “Snow Angel” is out now http://reneerapp.lnk.to/snowangel

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:46 Understanding how others perceive you and its impact on your well-being

05:05 What happens with you come face-to-face with a stalker

06:57 Ways to not prepare yourself for future disappointment

09:03 Why excessive self-criticism can hurt your self-confidence

11:20 How do you interpret your inner voices?

14:32 How to find a mindset to help yourself improve

17:45 Cultivating a passion for acting, even when it presents occasional challenges

20:41 How do you express your insecurities effectively without fearing miscommunication

23:08 Do you let self-doubt keep you from pursuing your passions?

26:55 How resilient are you in the most unfavorable situations?

35:19 Placing trust in the wrong people can have adverse consequences on your life

40:44 How to find a strong inner group filled with trust

41:39 Reneé recounts a traumatic experience

45:16 Stay focused on the love for your family and the special people in your life

48:03 How can you escape the self-imposed role of being your own harshest critic?

50:46 What would you tell yourself now?

52:48 If you could unlearn something from your past, what new knowledge or skill would you want to acquire now?

55:16 How can you transform the uncertainties in your life into more positive, joyful experiences?

01:17 Renee on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Reneé Rapp | YouTube

Reneé Rapp | Instagram

Reneé Rapp | TikTok

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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7+ Powerful Habits To Avoid Loneliness, Feel Connected And Build Authentic Community Sep 01, 2023

Show notes

Ever find yourself yearning for a deeper bond with those around you?

Creating deeper connections doesn't have to be an exhausting or daunting task.

We can still create connections in the simplest most ordinary ways if we make time for it and show sincerity.

From the hustle and bustle of everyday life to the moments of solitude, we'll uncover the secrets to forging relationships that stand the test of time. Your social life doesn't have to feel like a performance – let's make it a celebration.

Let's explore how broadening your emotional language can be the key to unlocking a world of deeper connections. Say goodbye to surface-level chatter and say hello to discussions that spark genuine connections. From sharing smiles with strangers to using technology to our advantage, each habit is a stepping stone to deeper relationships.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to bridge connection gap

How to tune into yourself before making connections

How to be more vocal about your emotions

How to make new memories with old friends

How to start engaging conversations

Hope you're able to genuinely connect with someone today. Let's make every connection count!

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:36 Do you sometimes feel lonely, or disconnected from the people around you?

07:58 Habit #1: Check in with yourself - Does your social life start to feel like work or when your social life feels like it's non-existent?

14:14 Habit #2: Expand your emotional vocabulary - If you wanna see, hear, and understand and value other people better, you need to expand your emotional vocabulary

17:56 Habit #3: Old new and new old - While we use nostalgia to build connection, try to build new memories with an old friend

20:44 Habit #4: Ask interesting questions - Go for more open and fascinating questions that won’t pressure other people to answer

23:05 Habit #5: Deep versus shallow time - Take the time to invest in creating a small group where you can build deeper connections

26:07 Habit #6: Look for patterns and connections where others don’t see them

27:20 Habit #7: Smile at strangers and say hello creates an energy for small moments of connection

28:40 Habit #8: Use technology to your advantage and connect with people you haven’t talked with in a while or reconnect with them anytime

30:04 Habit #9: Giving creates connect - When you give someone a part of you, a piece of you, a truth about you, it allows you to connect with them

30:52 Habit #10: Invite people for ordinary tasks - It’s okay to spend time with people in boring ways and connect with them

31:34 Habit #11: Connecting with people in all ages

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Lori Gottlieb ON: How to Set and Keep Better Boundaries & Ways to Know if You Are Settling in Relationships Aug 28, 2023

Show notes

Why do we often struggle when we are trying to build a lasting relationship with someone?

Why is love not enough to make two people genuinely care for each other and stay happy together?

Let's unpack the conversation I had with Lori Gottlieb. Lori is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which has sold nearly two million copies and is currently being adapted as a television series. In addition to her clinical practice, she is co-host of the popular “Dear Therapists” podcast now in its 4th season.

In this digital age, the power of in-person conversations is unparalleled, therefore, face-to-face discussions not only ease challenging topics but also strengthen connections, even in times of disagreement. We will eExplore the fascinating urge to share our stories when conversations turn distant. Uncover the psychology behind this impulse and its impact on nurturing authentic connections.

It's important to find the balance between desired traits and the potential for mutual growth. And boundaries aren't about controlling others; they're about prioritizing self-care.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to deal with unwanted peer pressure

How to master difficult conversations

The importance of setting early relationship goals

How to balance the qualities we look for in a partner

The positive impact of active listening

How to navigate relationship triggers

Let's uncover the truths, debunk the myths, and reshape the way you perceive and nurture connections.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:02 What should you do if a friend is pushing you to do something that makes you uncomfortable?

03:24 In-person conversations ease difficult discussions; connection persists despite disagreement

05:16 Set relationship goals early; they reveal compatibility quickly

07:47 Social anxiety often mirrors our childhood treatment

11:51 The urge to discuss oneself grows when sensing disinterest or neglect in conversations

16:24 Your potential partner might possess certain preferred qualities, yet not encompass all you seek

18:26 Identify your deal breakers and let go of the relationship fantasies we grew up with

22:25 How to shift from rigidity to actively listening to your partner?

26:47 By comprehending your partner's triggers, you can guide them back to the present moment

29:28 Boundaries involve defining self-care actions, not manipulating others' behavior around you

35:14 Consistency with our self-set boundaries fosters meaningful connections

39:10 Let go of what you couldn’t have and then go find it in someone without trying to change them

41:41 What does money and gender roles represent in your relationship?

44:56 Having an authentic, open, and genuine conversation, even if uncomfortable, isn't unkind

49:22 Dating entails the concessions you're ready to offer and those your partner commits to as well

53:32 You can multitask your pursuits. It's fine to follow your passion while staying in your current situation

57:33 Journaling creates a safe space for self-expression, free from the fear of judgment by others

01:02:02 Journaling offers the advantage of cultivating accountability through increased self-compassion

01:04:45 A breakup is a form of grief, as you've lost a shared past and the gradually constructed future with that person

Episode Resources:

Lori Gottlieb | YouTube

Lori Gottlieb | Instagram

Lori Gottlieb | Website

Dear Therapists Podcast

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

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4 Differences Between Toxic Vs Healthy Relationships and 6 Steps to Make the Shift No Matter Where You Are in Your Journey Aug 25, 2023

Show notes

Relationships often start with a spark, but how do you keep that spark alive without getting burnt?

It's a common question that many couples face as they navigate the complexities of maintaining a healthy and deep relationship.

Today, we will look deep into seeing the differences between a toxic and a healthy relationship and uncover the ways to build a lasting one. Every relationship is different - but understanding these four different toxic traits that are common in relationships will help you move away from something that is not serving you.

Moving to a healthy relationship when you’re coming from a toxic one is difficult but finding the courage to do so is a crucial step towards your emotional well-being and personal growth.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to prioritize healthy love over perfection

How to embrace each other’s unique identities

How to avoid over-reliance and codependence

How to practice transparent communication

Hope that this guides you through a more healthy and happy relationship!

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:32 What is the real definition of healthy vs. unhealthy love?

03:56 Toxic Trait #1: Over-reliance on one person - Do you go to your partner for everything that you need?

11:41 Toxic Trait #2: The idea of trying to change someone - We try to change our partners to be like us but have we ever thought about letting them be them and we be ourselves?

16:36 Toxic Trait #3: Playing games - Are you pursuing peace with your partner or are you pursuing power over your partner?

22:20 Toxic Trait #4: Losing your own identity - Don’t sacrifice your interests and independence for a relationship

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