Oh Crap Parenting with Jamie Glowacki

Latest Episodes:

28. Returning to School or Homeschooling? Jul 16, 2020

Show notes

The prospect of schools reopening is gradually dawning on us all, and with it comes the news of the potential restrictions which will be in place. As so many of the restrictions seem to greatly impact the level of socializing that children will be able to enjoy upon their return, I am currently fielding a large number of questions regarding homeschooling. In today’s episode, my aim is to address the questions that seem to be the most frequently asked. It’s important to note that laws and rules regarding homeschooling will vary by, and in some cases within, states, so the information I offer here today is fairly general and you really need to check with a local homeschooler or homeschooling group to understand the specifics for your area. What I can share with you is the remarkable difference between the schooling we’ve all been doing for the last few months and actual homeschooling, some ideas regarding learning styles and curriculum, and some of the basic facts about homeschooling and unschooling. I can also tell you that you have the right and the ability to educate your child at home – you have done it from the moment they were born. Sending your child back to a school filled with social restrictions may rightfully seem daunting to you at the moment, and if you are considering homeschooling, this episode will provide you with information and advice based upon a vast amount of experience and research that can help you begin your decision making process. The Finer Details of This Episode: Nobody was actually homeschooling these past few months – we were ‘crisis schooling’ The actual academics don’t take as long as a school day Every state has their own laws and rules about homeschooling, so go to a local homeschooler or group for advice A lot of people opt in to homeschooling because they want to opt out of standardized testing and ‘teaching to the test’ Beware of the tendency for school districts to offer their opinion on homeschooling rather than the policy The Homeschool Legal Defense Association (HLDA) is the only legal defense association in the country to help with homeschooling issues Nobody should ever go into your home to ‘check out your homeschooling environment’ You do not to be certified to teach If you are just trying homeschooling for a year, you’re tied to the school’s curriculum – that’s not my favorite way There is a large choice of other curricula out there, so you need to determine your child’s learning style You don’t need a curriculum for pre-school – read to them, love them, take them outside When unschooling, follow the ‘rabbit holes’ Quotes: “Homeschooling looks so much different than what we just did.” “It’s your constitutional right to direct the education of your child.” “I’m not anti-school, but I am anti-bad school.” “I am more and more of a facilitator.” “I would argue that we’re always all homeschooling.” “When you’re working with something you’re passionate about, and you love, you’re going to hit these spots where you have to work through a yucky part of it.” “I am unabashed in my love of homeschooling…it’s such a lifestyle choice.” “You know your kid - you are 100% the expert on your child - so lead with that.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26. Balance is a Verb Sep 27, 2019

Show notes

Jamie’s addressing one of the most frequently asked questions listeners and followers have for her: how does she balance everything and keep her life in order, especially as a single mom? Her answer is simple and two-fold: 1. it’s HARD, and 2. it’s a fool’s game to try to do everything at once. The parental balancing act is an art of setting a schedule and picking your battles. In this episode, Jamie explains how our phones can dominate our already busy schedules if we’re not careful, debunks the myth of multitasking, and compares keeping our life in balance to, of all things, four pots on a stove. The Finer Details of This Episode: What’s “uh-huh” parenting and why we absolutely need to avoid it. Establishing consistent phone time for yourself and being honest with your children about when you’ll need to do some scrolling. How airplane mode has become Jamie’s best friend. Why Jamie isn’t a fan of multitasking—and in fact has some pretty harsh things to say about it. What Jamie’s past experience as a circus performer—yes, you heard that right—taught her about maintaining balance. Jamie’s “four-burner stove” theory for keeping all of the major elements of your life in check. In the end, remember that even the people who look like they have all their shit together still struggle with balancing it all. Quotes: “Stop with the half-assed parenting. It’s not fair to our kids!” “You can’t do everything well if you’re trying to do it all together.” “Balance is a verb. It is not a noun, it is not a destination.” “You HAVE to show up as a whole person to be a good parent.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25. On Swearing Sep 20, 2019

Show notes

You’ve got to face the facts: try as hard as you might, your kid is going to swear at some point, and when they do drop a big fat expletive it will probably be in the worst time and place. It’s going to be embarrassing, but it’s also a valuable moment that will help your kid understand what is or isn’t acceptable among certain crowds, while allowing you both to acknowledge the emotion beneath the swearing. In this episode, Jamie discusses her approach to teaching Pascal about swearing and the impression it gives off and suggests how you can help your own children to understand the effect of bad—or rather, “strong”—words. The Finer Details of This Episode: How Jamie’s son Pascal and his preschool class were exposed to swearing en masse—and what it taught them about the power of words. There are some parents who don’t care about swearing but of course, you need to set boundaries on where and when that happens. Helping your little one understand that swearing can affect how others see them, and how Jamie has imparted this lesson to her son. Why swearing in inappropriate contexts can actually teach your kid a lot about hurt and shame. The reason Jamie refers to cursing as “strong words” rather than “bad words.” Quotes: “Swearing is just words we’ve given extraordinary power to.” “The more power you give the words the more it has and that’s just how it goes.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24. Transitions Big and Little Sep 13, 2019

Show notes

Changes: it’s not just a David Bowie song, but something your kid is going to go through a lot of throughout their early years. And Jamie isn’t merely talking about bodily or behavioral changes but changes in routine, changes in circumstances, and changes in family. Something as simple as leaving the house in the morning can be enough to set your little one on edge, so we need to both help them understand these necessary—and occasionally unfortunate—shifts as well as make these transitions a little easier for them. In this episode, Jamie discusses the significant changes your parenting style will go through as your little one becomes a slightly bigger one, explains how you can help your kid stay on top of these transitions, and suggests ways you can help your child get through the tougher life milestones. The Finer Details of This Episode: Why Jamie’s new book has “toddler” in the title even though it deals more with the preschool age. How your style of parenting needs to shift in a fundamental way as your little one goes from two to three. Looking at some of the transitions your child will go through, including moving, divorce, milestones, and even being part of a military family. If your child frequently gets upset, take a step back and figure out if these fits and tantrums are happening during moments or periods of transition. How a simple whiteboard can help you and your kids navigate these transitions. When in doubt, slow things down a little. Why the teddy bear or toy your little one wants to bring on a car ride might be just what they need to keep them at ease during transitions. Jamie’s tips for easing children through big, potentially life-changing transitions like moving and divorce. If you’re a parent whose partner is in the military and goes on deployment, consider seeking out other military parents for a supportive community. Quotes: “Your entire relationship is about bonding in this physical sense and creating this safety within the child’s life.” “Hang in there and survive and keep the kids alive.” “The longer the distance, the more transitional objects the kid’s gonna need.” “Err on the side of talking about it rather than ignoring it.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Pre-order my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22. Gut Health Interview with Dr. Kendra Becker Aug 30, 2019

Show notes

This episode marks two very special occasions for Oh, Crap! One is that Jamie is happy to bring you all her first interview conducted over Instagram livestream! The second is that her guest of honor is Dr. Kendra Becker. Kendra is an “integrated physician” operating out of Jamie’s own home state of Connecticut and specializes in holistic treatment of young patients and their parents. One of Jamie’s friends had recommended Kendra to her to help with perimenopause and the two quickly realized how well they gelled over how they choose to treat their patients and clients. In this episode, Kendra explains how her style of treatment differs from—and has an edge over—mainstream Western medicine, breaks down how important biodiversity in our digestive tract is, and reveals what our poop can say about our health. The Finer Details of This Episode: The genetic reason each and every one of us has a medical history even at the moment we’re born. The divisions in the medical community that led to naturopathy being shunted to the side. Why Kendra thinks naturopathy and holistic medicine have an edge over western and pharmaceutical techniques. Discussing the human microbiome and the important equilibrium that allows it to thrive. The first myth Karen wants to dispel for all of her patients. Kendra’s reason for why probiotics are so important, even with their potential risks, and how she prefers to store and administer them. Getting down to the big topic: what does your poop say about you? Kendra gives us a preview of one of her upcoming “Keeping Healing in the Home” e-course. Quotes: “One week’s worth of antibiotics can completely change your microbiome.” “What we need from our microbiome is the perfect balance for our unique individual.” “We want to make sure that we keep our microbiome in the perfect balance for our body.” Links: Kendra’s homepage - http://drkendrabecker.com/ Family Wellness Center of Connecticut - https://www.fwcct.com/ Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Pre-order my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21. This is How We Homeschool Aug 23, 2019

Show notes

Some of you may not know this, but Jamie homeschools! (and no! Jamie doesn’t think everyone should homeschool and she’s not trying to convince you that you should!) Her son Pascal has been learning at home since he was still fairly young, and both he and Jamie have found to be this alternative mode of education not only better suited for him but engaging in a way that mainstream schooling isn’t always. She also knows that several inaccurate, outdated and even harmful perceptions of homeschooling have sprung up over the years and feels they really should be addressed before people pass judgment. In this episode, Jamie explains what led her to teach Pascal at home, relates some of the fascinating things he’s learned and how she’s aided his education, and addresses some commonly held criticisms and concerns about teaching your kids at home. The Finer Details of This Episode: Jamie explains why she thinks conventional teaching in a traditional school environment is still important. Why Jamie doesn’t think homeschooling is for everyone. The incidents that persuaded Jamie to remove Pascal from the conventional school system. Jamie breaks down the different types of homeschooling available and how she decided on her preferred method. How the widespread compulsory schooling we’re used to is actually very new in the grand scheme of history. The ways Jamie was able to foster Pascal’s interest in paleontology and anatomy. The “grunt work” Jamie aims to avoid when educating Pascal and introducing him to new concepts. How you can go about homeschooling on your own and some important personal and impersonal resources you can rely on. Why some of the laws governing homeschooling may be threatened as we speak. Quotes: “We’re ALL homeschooling! It’s just some people are homeschooling part-time and some people are homeschooling full-time.” “Homeschooling really is a lifestyle choice.” “I don’t think of myself as a teacher; I think of myself as a facilitator.” “Do you want your child to learn or do you want them to complete the book?” “My choice in educating my child is a constitutional right.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20. More On Keeping Kids Safe Aug 16, 2019

Show notes

The latest episode of Oh, Crap! is a follow-up to Jamie’s earlier installment on keeping kids safe (see episode 15!). Many listeners wanted to know how to most effectively speak to their children about sexual abuse and what precautions should be taken. Jamie doesn’t want to set off anybody’s anxiety, but these are important subjects we need to know inside and out so our kids can be safe out in the world. In this episode, Jamie discusses how to set boundaries with friends and family (and what reactions you should be on the alert for), explains which odd behaviors may be signs of sexual abuse, and wades through the turbulent waters of childhood slumber parties. The Finer Details of This Episode: Why it’s so vital you find a way to heal if you’re a parent who has survived sexual abuse in their past. The reason you should be forthright with your children (at a certain age) and not sugarcoat some of the world’s dangers. How to navigate the tricky space of dealing with an inappropriate—or even potentially inappropriate—family member. Why the very act of setting boundaries is key to figuring out who are the healthy and unhealthy relations in your life. Your kid shouldn’t have to go to sleepovers, especially if you feel uneasy about who will be there. Asking the difficult questions, such as “Will there be drinking?” and “Are there freaking guns here?” Take note that abusive individuals will seek out roles and employment that will allow them to exploit their power over others. Why your kids may be at greater risk if you’re a single parent. Don’t let your denial that the worst could possibly happen lead to your child ending up in a threatening situation. How to look for signs of abuse in your children or other children. Quotes: “We have to name the boogeyman. We have to look the boogeyman right in the eye to disarm him.” “You have to be willing to piss people off rather than jeopardize or compromise your child.” “Healthy people respect boundaries; unhealthy people push back on them.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19. Don't Kill the Wonder Aug 09, 2019

Show notes

Jamie and her friend recently came up with a plan to send their kids on a trip to the city on their own via the bus. To some parents, the idea of their teenage kids hopping on public transportation and jetting from the suburbs to the thick of downtown can be frightening, but Jamie wants to make sure Pascal and his friends develop the curiosity necessary to explore and learn as they get older and become more independent. She was also inspired by paleontologist Scott Sampson’s TEDx talk on the importance of raising children who are fascinated by the natural world and free to explore it at their own pace. In this episode, Jamie leads you through Scott’s TEDx talk, reveals how well-intentioned parental instincts can get in the way of your child’s sense of discovery, and explains how you can more effectively foster your child’s wonder. The Finer Details of This Episode: Why we need to engineer scenarios that expose our kids to the world and allow them to find their own way. How adults, specifically parents, can actually harm our children’s sense of wonder for the natural world. Starting off your children’s adventures with a simple walk around the block. Why being a good teacher to your child can mean backing off a little and ditching the “teacher voice.” Don’t “quantify” your kid’s nature discoveries—just let them geek out for a bit and enjoy them for themselves! Resist the urge to say “no” and let your children get their hands dirty so they can actually engage with their environment. Parents: don’t let your completionist tendencies get in the way of what your kids find interesting about nature. Instead of falling into the “technology sucks” trap, let’s figure out ways to more constructively integrate tech into our kids’ explorations. Quotes: “There’s no magical age where a kid just knows how to do things.” “We can’t let our feelings get in the way of our kids’ growth.” “We need to collectively shut up a whole lot more than we do.” “Don’t kill the ‘whoa’!” “Let go of the idea that you need to fill your kid with information.” Links: Scott Sampson: “How to Raise a Wild Child” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn4ve9fLsuA Steve Spangler Science - https://www.stevespanglerscience.com/ Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] -https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18. Expectations Aug 02, 2019

Show notes

It’s possible for parental expectations to be too high AND too low. You’ll have some parents keen on getting their little ones to read and write before they’re even in kindergarten while insisting they’re not yet emotionally able to comprehend big changes like moving homes. Social media plays a big role in perpetrating unrealistic expectations, with sponsored ads on Facebook and other platforms skewing these expectations even further. In the end, what your toddler can or cannot do most often boils down to what they have the cognitive capacity for—again, their little brains are still developing! In this episode, Jamie lays out the difficult truth about tantrums, breaks down what your little one may or may not be capable of doing at their age, and gets real about the unfortunate aspect of parenting you’re just going to have to come to terms with. The Finer Details of This Episode: Are you expecting your kid to listen the first time you tell them to do something? That’s expecting way too much for their age. There’s no way to really talk your kid out of a tantrum once they’ve already built up enough steam; you’re going to have to accept it and ride it out. Your little one has only started to grasp basic concepts like “object permanence;” logic isn’t going to work on them. You can use “emotion charts” to help your child understand the complex emotions they’re beginning to feel, but understand they really don’t have the ability to control their emotions. Individuation: the important psychological development that explains why your toddler doesn’t care what you think about how they’re acting. Parenting can just suck at this age, and accepting that is essential for parenting well. It’s important to set boundaries, but even more important to understand that your little one will work their hardest to test those boundaries. Just as it’s possible to start kids on certain skills too early, it can be too late to get them potty-trained—or at least too late to get them potty-trained without massive resistance. What Jamie learned from witnessing a ritual dance by a local native tribe. A list of skills and techniques you can expect your toddler to have a handle on. Your kid is way more capable of handling serious discussion than you may think. Quotes: “There is no way to stop a tantrum mid-tantrum.” “Shame is huge and our children can’t handle it.” “Nobody has it all together, and if they do, I dunno, they’re living a very inauthentic life.” “Don’t have this expectation that the whole world is doing it well and you’re not. Everybody’s having a hard time.” “We hold [the boundary] so that the child can learn.” “We expect these kids to be so compliant and yet we also underestimate them at every single turn.” “If there’s a pink elephant in your house, I can assure you that your child has noticed it.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17. Time-Outs Suck Jul 26, 2019

Show notes

Just because your relationship with your child isn’t perfect doesn’t mean you’re messing up! Kids are lovely, but anyone with a two-year-old knows they can also be chaotic little imps when they see fit. They’re going to push your buttons both by accident or because they’ll know it’s going to push your buttons. For these moments, it’s handy to have consistent, proportional guidelines for helping your little ones understand that they can’t always get away with everything—guidelines that focus on connection before correction In this episode, Jamie lays out a series of steps you should try to follow when your kid is acting out, pointers that will help them understand consequences rather than fear punishment. The Finer Details of This Episode: Two unavoidable facts: your kids will always find ways to act out despite your good parenting, and you will always be emotionally affected by that acting out. It is not a parent’s role to create the perfect human; we are here to guide our children. When your child starts misbehaving, ask yourself if their “emotional gas tank” is full. Looking into the surprisingly recent creation of the “time-out.” Why “punishment” and “consequences” are much more different than we might think, and the reason Jamie prefers the latter. Jamie weighs in on why she thinks time-outs are ineffective at best and alienating at worst. Why neither explosive anger nor dead silence are the best way to respond to a child’s misbehavior. Own your emotions and don’t blame your child when you get angry. How whispering is basically verbal non-violence. Bring yourself down to your child’s physical level when you need to address their acting out so you don’t seem threatening. Consider a “time-in” rather than a “time-out.” How you can use your hands—and even a blanket—to physically regulate their child until they’ve achieved calm again. Make sure that everybody has cooled down before you start helping your child process their emotions. When in doubt, it’s okay to leave. Give your kid only one chance instead of three and don’t be afraid to follow through on a threat to leave. Having a good “mom voice” or “dad voice” can come in very handy for getting your point across. If you do need to issue consequences for poor behavior, ensure they’re immediate and proportionate to the misbehavior. Quotes: “There are parts to parenting that just get ugly. We are raising freaking humans—and guess what? We’re human too.” “[Children are] always acting crappy for a reason. Behavior is not random.” “Consequences are not punishment and we have to remember that.” “There is some natural shame but we don’t want to ever cover our kids in shame.” “The angrier you are about whatever action your child took, the more you need to take yourself out of the mix.” “Whisper before it escalates.” “All you have to do is follow through a few times and your child’s going to get it.” “We always want to lead with the idea that ‘discipline’ means ‘to teach’.” Links: Good Night Sleep Site - https://goodnightsleepsite.com/ Brené Brown - https://brenebrown.com/ Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Oh Crap Parenting with Jamie Glowacki

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected