Oh Crap Parenting with Jamie Glowacki

Latest Episodes:

49. “Have Your Cake and Eat It Too” with Stay-at-Home Bookkeeper Tiffany Higgins May 07, 2022

Show notes

Tiffany Higgins is a CPA, mother of five, and owner of the “Stay-at-Home Bookkeeper Academy,” a program that walks you through the process of setting up and running your own bookkeeping business from home, even if you do not have any previous bookkeeping experience. If you’re a stay-at-home parent who’s ever contemplated starting your own business from home or having a flexible, lucrative career that also allows for plenty of valuable family time, today’s interview is a must-listen! Tiffany breaks down how you can “have your cake and eat it too,” and shares her own story of leaving the corporate world to start her business. She speaks about balancing family life and work life, and offers her advice to separate the two so that you can be fully present no matter what you’re doing. She also discusses the importance of hiring the right help at home so that you can maximize your work productivity and actually enjoy quality time with your kids once you’ve packed up for the day, rather than feeling bogged down in chores. This is especially true coming off of the pandemic. We wrap up by comparing our homeschooling experiences, and Tiffany invites listeners to check out her website or Facebook group to see if stay-at-home bookkeeping is the right fit for you! The Finer Details of This Episode: She walks you through how to set up and run your own bookkeeping business from home, even if you do not have any previous bookkeeping experience Keep work life and family life separate so that you can be fully present no matter what you’re doing It’s also important to make sure you have the right help at home, which might mean hiring a housecleaner or childcare provider With bookkeeping, you’re able to make about $40,000 per year and only work about 10 hours per week You do not need to have any previous bookkeeping experience, and in fact, it’s better to start Tiffany’s program from scratch She teaches how to make the mindset shift to becoming an entrepreneur, and embracing a “growth” mindset Mistakes help us learn and grow There is a common misconception that bookkeepers have to be good at math - you don’t Bookkeeping is also a great career for introverts because everything is done online Quotes “I started a bookkeeping business, and it literally just changed our entire family's lives in so many ways. So now we help and inspire other moms to do that.” “You want to build up walls around yourself when you're working versus when you're with your family. So that way, you can be present no matter what you're doing.” “It's actually more important to hire help at home than it even is for your business.” “We actually help people understand how to become an entrepreneur, and the mindset shift that's involved with that. How to understand being a business owner, and also how to learn every skill that you need around offering bookkeeping services.” “We teach everything from scratch. We actually prefer to have people that don't have any prior bookkeeping experience, and guide them through the whole process.” “A huge common myth, misconception, about being a successful bookkeeper is that you have to be good at math. You don't - I use the calculator for literally everything.” “It's a really great job for especially introverts because you don't necessarily have to get on the phone or see anybody in person.” “The value that bookkeepers provide to business owners is incredibly high. And it makes the sales process really easy.” Links: Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com Oh Crap! Potty Training – www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Stay-at-Home Bookkeeper Academy Homepage: www.stayathomebookkeeper.com Have Your Cake and Eat It Too Facebook Group Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

48. The Hierarchy of the Underneath Apr 14, 2022

Show notes

Last week’s episode was all about the hierarchy of misbehavior, and the two main components at play when you’re dealing with these issues - there’s the Band Aid solution that will stop the misbehavior in the moment, and then there’s the underlying cause. Today I revisit the idea of what’s underneath the behavior, and break down the many reasons why your child may be acting out in the first place. Of course, the first thing to look for is whether they’re hungry or tired. You also want to keep an eye on their blood sugar and make sure you always have plenty of snacks on hand. Next, we want to check to see if their buckets are full - emotional, attention, and power. I explain in great detail the signs that these buckets might be empty, and what you can do to keep them full. My mother used to say that sometimes parents just don't give their kids the chance to be their best selves, and today’s episode is all about giving your little ones the tools and support they need to do exactly that. Next I review the importance of Big Play and getting outside in the elements with your child as much as possible, and I detail my favorite strategies for helping your child regulate their own emotions, such as the throwing corner, “burrito” compression hug, and teaching them to name and identify where their feelings start in their bodies. We want to make sure our kids understand that no emotion is wrong. Finally, I urge parents to look at their child’s diet and be on the lookout for allergies, sensitivities, or overly processed foods as these can often be the culprit for problematic behavior. And I also share an interesting tidbit I recently learned about the difference between men and women’s brain circuitry that may shed some light on why men approach problem-solving differently than women. The Finer Details of This Episode: We want to put everything in our kids’ corner so they can be their best selves, and that means making sure they’re eating well and getting enough rest Next, ask yourself if their buckets are full (emotional, attention, and power) If they’re in the constant “Why?” phase, this could mean their attention bucket is empty and they’re craving conversation and connection with you If you can give them your focused attention for short spurts throughout the day (I call this the Bouillon Cube), it will go a long way in filling their attention buckets If your kid feels like this time is never enough, it could be an indicator that they aren’t getting enough attention Also keep in mind that your child may simply need you more as life opens up post-pandemic and we dive back into “real life” Toddlers are just so new - they’re small and vulnerable, and they’re hardwired to want power Make sure your toddler is getting lots of Big Play Getting outside in the elements with your child is also a good chance to have quality time together Some kids seem to have a propensity for deep anger and may say mean things, spit, yell Try not to judge your kid’s emotion or take it personally If you try to shut down those feelings, they’ll get backed up and cause bigger problems The best gift you can give your kid is emotional wisdom We want to make sure our kids know that no emotions are wrong - the expression of emotion can result in misbehavior, but the emotion itself is not bad Links: Jamie’s Homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

47. The Hierarchy of Misbehavior Mar 24, 2022

Show notes

With so many new listeners joining the Patreon recently, today I'll be clarifying the hierarchy of misbehavior, and outlining in very clear steps, the timeline of exactly what to do when your child is misbehaving, using the example of hitting. It may seem cute and harmless when your kid is 16 months old, but if you don't nip it in the bud, hitting can become very problematic and painful if you allow it to continue, particularly when it's directed at another kid. First, you want to try the gentle method of simply grabbing their hand and saying, "No, we don't hit." If the behavior doesn't stop or even escalates from there, this is when the “Go To Your Room” strategy comes into play. The most important thing you can do is keep yourself regulated, and while co-regulation is ideal, this can be hard to do when someone is slapping you in the face or throwing Tonka Trucks at your head. If you need to take space separately to stabilize your own mental state, that’s absolutely okay. This way you can come back and lend your child your calm, instead of giving them your Psycho Mom chaos. Once again, thank you so much for your patronage, and for all of your wonderful questions and feedback as we unpack these important topics together. For more information on my potty training and parenting resources, please visit the links below. The Finer Details of This Episode: Similar to my experience raising my puppy, Maverick, it’s not fair to expect your young child to make good decisions - it’s up to us as adults to help guide them If you are feeling like your routine isn’t working, it might be helpful to break down the components of your day and see where you can shift things around to maximize your time When behavior escalates, we’re working either Overground (stopping the behavior in the moment) or Underground (getting to the root cause behind it) If we give in when the child’s behavior escalates, we are moving the boundary and the child will keep testing it - moving the boundary can actually cause the behavior to escalate and give kids too much power When your child is escalating, check that you’re not moving the boundary or letting them dictate your actions If you allow your child to continue with aggressive or violent behavior, it will only cause you to become dysregulated as well The “Go To Your Room” strategy allows you to separate and calm your bodies before the situation gets out of hand I find the Gentle Parenting approach to label your child’s feeling in the middle of a tantrum very annoying and condescending - they already know they’re angry or frustrated When we get to the root cause, this is where we implement our conscious parenting strategies in non-hot moments (use a throwing corner, help build emotional vocabulary, role play) If you can regulate together with your child, great, but don’t be afraid to take that space alone - it is crucial that you stabilize your own mental state so you can come back and lend your child your calm, not give them your chaos Co-regulation is ideal, but it is not always possible - if that’s the case, it’s okay to separate Maintaining boundaries can be exhausting, and it’s often easier to give in to a meltdown Our kids don’t really care about us - they’re busy playing and learning, and it’s not their job to concern themselves with us Also, they’ll never love us the way we love them so we can’t expect equal love - it’s just the nature of the beast and we will always love them more Links: Jamie’s Homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

45. It’s Not The “What” But The “Why” with Parenting Coach Stephanie Sotelo Feb 10, 2022

Show notes

On today’s episode, I’m excited to welcome my good friend and colleague, Stephanie Sotelo, who also happens to be my backup parenting coach. Stephanie blows my mind over and over again as we talk about accessing our “Whys” as parents, and tapping into our values, which act as our compass on this journey and give us the courage to hold firm in our parenting choices when others may question them. We explain how knowing your “Why” can help you understand yourself better as a parent, as well as your partner and even other parents who may have the same “What,” but a different “Why.” We also discuss the ways your “Why” can change over time, and the importance of finding your own authentic voice in a world where so many other opinions are thrown at you. We talk about choosing connection with your child above all else, encouraging your child to advocate for themselves and find their own strong voice, and why authenticity, confidence, and consistency are your most important tools as a parent. Thank you for your listening, and I appreciate your patronage more than I can say. For more information on my potty training and parenting resources, please visit the links below. You can also visit Stephanie Sotelo’s website at www.StephanieSotelo.com or on Instagram @consciousparentcoach. The Finer Details of This Episode: Your values are your compass as to how you’re going to parent (for example, with sports, commitment is very important or it may just be about being social) It’s a bit more difficult for dads to access those emotions and tap into their “Why” But knowing your “Why” and being strong in your values gives you courage Stephanie values respect and manners for her son, but also wants him to be able to advocate for himself and be able to tell other adults when he feels uncomfortable with something It’s not the “What” but the “Why” - Parents have different “Whys” and this is why we judge each other, even when we have the same “What” (for example, two different parents may agree that children need an allowance, but one implements this to help teach money management while another may be trying to teach their child about work ethic) Encouraging kids to advocate for themselves versus being disrespectful Parents can also practice finding their own voice, which can help you sort it out from all the other voices that can be overwhelming in the gentle parenting world Doing parallel chores can help you connect while actually getting a few things done Kids really enjoy playing with everyday items like tape or simply running water on the tap If you’re constantly looking at other people’s lives and not your own, this is where things get lost and you feel like you’re on shaky ground It’s important to honor your voice and adjust based on what works for you As a parenting coach, we cannot give an exact script that will work every time as it will always depend on your ‘Why’ Authenticity and confidence are huge - when you have that confidence and courage, kids are more likely to listen to the boundaries Pick your hill to die on, and if you’re going to cave, cave early and be authentic to what it is you really want to do It’s also important to keep your child’s age and developmental stage in mind, and shift your expectations for them accordingly We all feel like we want to be perfect, and we all see the “What” out there in the world on social media, but the “Why” is so much more important Links: Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Stephanie Sotelo’s Homepage www.stephaniesotelo.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

44. Running Hot and Cold with Dr. Stephanie Rimka Jan 06, 2022

Show notes

On this episode of the podcast, I’m so excited to be joined by Dr. Stephanie Rimka to talk about the science behind sauna, red light, and cold therapy. Dr. Rimka is a holistic brain optimization specialist; she’s been in private practice for twenty years, focusing on using a variety of natural therapies, including bio-hacks, to treat mental health issues including autism, depression, strokes, and Alzheimer’s. Her practice uses technology-based devices focusing on electromagnetic and light frequencies to alter brain structure and function and return normal function to it. The Finer Details of This Episode: Dr. Rimka usually starts her patients with red light therapy before moving on to sauna therapy. Red light is highly stimulating to the vagus nerve, a cranial nerve that comes out of your brain and is the most soothing, calming part of the nervous system. The fight or flight response is designed to last twenty to thirty seconds optimally and two minutes maximum. Yet many families are in fight or flight all day long, and that input is destroying health and longevity because your body can’t fight threats when it’s constantly in life or death mode. Dysregulated parents will always struggle to co-regulate with their child, and often the parent will assume the lack of regulation is a problem with the child rather than examining their own issues. It’s critical for parents to accept that they need to take care of themselves in order to take care of their families, even if that means bringing someone in to help. Dr. Rimka suggests that we have unrealistic expectations of what motherhood is supposed to be because of the information overload and the distractions of the internet and social media. Sauna therapy is a huge tradition in the Nordic region, which has long had saunas as part of its culture. Research suggests that saunas can have a beneficial effect on longevity, heart attack risk, and prevention of neurological conditions like dementia. A sauna is like a cardiovascular workout, equivalent to a two-mile jog but with zero impact on your joints. Your mitochondrial line comes from women—the male mitochondria get destroyed the moment the sperm goes into the egg. Unlike human DNA, mitochondria pick up on their environment and adapt by mutating very quickly in response to their surroundings. A mismatch between your genetics and where you live can create health problems—if you move a naturally warm person to a cold climate, they’re unlikely to flourish, and their health may suffer as a result. You can help your system adapt to such changes by using therapeutic doses of light, heat, or cold. However, it’s important not to overdo things, remember that what matters is how the body responds after the treatment, and to prioritize sleep because that’s when all your healing is done. The biohacking world is very male and very aggressive, but women are great at combining strength and softness in a way that really nourishes and nurtures. Our temperature-controlled homes and lack of exposure to hot and cold are breaking our hormone systems and contributing to massive dysregulation in insulin, blood glucose, cortisol, and testosterone. It’s part of what’s making us fat, depressed, and slow. Links: Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki Brain and Body Solutions Dr. Rimka’s Store Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

43. Living Your Authentic Life with World Traveler Jessica Sueiro Dec 23, 2021

Show notes

On today’s episode, I speak with yet another person I find truly fascinating, Jessica Sueiro. Jessica and her husband, Will, along with their two children, Avalon and Largo, are world traveling, homeschooling, bohemian vagabonds in the best possible way. They have an amazing YouTube channel called World Towning, where they document their full-time travel family adventures and share their passion for dreaming big. Jessica joins me from a boat in Majorca to discuss her family’s decision to leave their Boston 2013 in favor of trekking around the world together, how they have thrived throughout their traveling adventures, and the experience of managing homeschool in the process. For more information about the Sueiro family and their traveling lifestyle, visit WorldTowningVoyages.com or check out their YouTube Channel, which features new videos every Friday. Thank you for your listening! I appreciate your patronage more than I can say. For more information on my potty training and parenting resources, please visit the links below. The Finer Details of This Episode: Most people have a fear of stepping out of the box - accepting that we will f-ck up our kids no matter where we are gives us the freedom to take that leap It took them seven years to finally decide to change their lives - they are planners and it was not an impulsive decision They have a travel-based business, which works for their lifestyle They have maintained a sense of rhythm and routine as travelers by reading at night, eating dinner together, and having consistency as a family Home is in the heart, not the house you’re living in They have an ‘open-door policy’ where you can always interrupt if you have a question or need emotional support They have always prioritized their children’s social components through the homeschooling experience, which has been challenging during the pandemic Her daughter started her own book club, to help meet social needs and connect with friends Listen to your kids’ interests, create what you need, and be open-minded about the way kids make friends today Jessica shares how their travels informed a minimalist lifestyle - she is a minimalist by nature For the first three years, they left with eight bags and eight carry-ons, and lived in different countries for nine to twelve months at a time They traveled from Costa Rica to Ecuador to France, then they moved to an RV Their policy was if something came in, something went out Focus is on experiences over stuff Grandparents traditionally show their love through gifts and toys, but Jessica and Will have really tried to transition grandparents to giving experiences instead Grandparents get joy out of watching kids open presents, but Jessica and Will try to bring the focus back to experiences that will give the child joy instead The importance of community and asking for help Traveling makes you a better person because it’s humbling and you become so appreciative If you’re looking to make a major transition or change in your life, remember that as a parent, you are tough The worst that can happen is you go back to where you started, but you will have learned and grown so much along the way Links: Jamie’s Homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

42. Helping Your Child Learn Their Regulation Dec 09, 2021

Show notes

Continuing on from my episode about Co-Regulation, today I’ll be sharing all of my insights, tips, and tricks on how to help your child effectively recognize when their emotions are building up, and cope with them before they escalate out of control. Our kids are very present in their bodies, which is why their feelings tend to come out in very physical ways. Having your child describe the physical sensation of their emotions, asking where they feel them (in the cheeks, fingers, chest, behind their eyes, etc.), using the “Hot and Cold” Method, and giving their feelings a specific name can help slow the process down and give your child time to identify what’s going on. Having a “Throwing Corner” in your home, checking in with your child throughout the day, engaging in Big Play, and getting outside can also help as an outlet for emotional tension. Thank you for your listening, and I appreciate your patronage more than I can say. For more information on my potty training and parenting resources, please visit the links below. The Finer Details of This Episode: Developmental Biologist Bruce Lipton has noted that until age 7, kids don’t have consciousness or self-awareness just yet We want to allow emotions to flow, but also be teaching children the language and skills to properly cope with them Help kids recognize when they are experiencing a buildup of emotion, and intervene before it instantly escalates from 0-60 Our kids are very present in their bodies, which is why emotions come out in such physical ways Asking your child where they feel their emotions (cheeks, fingers, chest, behind the eyes) will help slow the process down Start the day by checking in with your child and using a “dial” to measure where their big feelings lie ‘Throwing Corner’ in your house can help kids vocalize their feelings and complete the circuit of emotion Big play, physical activity, outdoor time also help as an outlet for emotional tension Transitions continue to be very difficult as we return to life after the pandemic Young toddlers do not remember life before COVID, and all they know is your parenting through the pandemic Don’t wait until you get home to have fun and connect with your child - start as soon as you pick them up, walk to the car, or on your drive home We tend to rush to the next “big event,” but it’s important to find ways to slow down and enjoy the transitions together - these are the moments where you can truly connect With hitting, you can try the gentle approach first, but if that doesn’t resolve the behavior, you will need to step in and remove your child immediately Once a child knows they can disrespect you on that level without any consequences, you will have a nightmare on your hands The “Fuck-You Kid” comes out of the womb ready to fight and challenge you With these types of kids, you need to make sure you’re on top of hunger and sleep They also need strict boundaries (set bedtimes, mealtimes), but freedom within those limits (like messy play, tinkering and taking apart old electronics) Set these boundaries and don’t engage in power struggles - no negotiating They could also have ADHD, and their circadian rhythms are backwards They typically have impulse control issues Remember that we get the kid that is meant for us Focus on their good qualities and try not to get bogged down in the negative As with all toddlers, make sure they are getting enough sleep and nutritious food Links: Jamie’s Homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

41. “Badass With Boundaries” Empowerment Coach Anna Glasgow Nov 18, 2021

Show notes

Anna Glasgow is an empowerment coach with a passion for personal growth. She has a Master’s Degree in Educational Leadership, and runs the amazing program, “Badass With Boundaries.” We connected over her toddler’s potty training journey on Instagram, and today she joins me as part of my ongoing series in which I simply talk to very cool people! Anna and I break down why boundaries are so important in helping yourself and your family feel safe and secure, the most common areas in which they tend to be crossed, why women tend to have weaker boundaries than men (and how this is exacerbated in parenthood), and how to create your own boundaries using your Love Language and Anna’s Hell Yes/Hell No Method. Anna shares how leaving an abusive relationship sparked her passion for this topic, and details her own experience hammering out boundaries after becoming a mother. Teaching consent, healing childhood wounds, and reparenting are also discussed. We chat about not having to justify our boundaries to anyone, trusting our intuition, and Anna reminds listeners that boundaries don’t make you a bitch - they make you a badass. To learn more about Anna’s program, visit www.AGlasgowCoach.com or email her at AGlasgowCoach@gmail.com. The Finer Details of This Episode: No one has absolutely everything figured out - everyone has a chink in their armor Women tend to have weaker boundaries, which only get exacerbated through parenting When boundaries and rules are constantly changing, it’s a cluster fuck and makes everyone feel anxious and insecure Men and women view chores differently, and it’s up to us to vocalize our expectations instead of leaving them unsaid and resenting partner or kids for not meeting them It’s hard to say what we need, because it opens us up to feeling vulnerable or being rejected Anna shares how leaving an abusive relationship sparked her passion for setting boundaries and teaching others to do the same Moms tend to have “grayer” boundaries than Dads - Dad will simply say “No” and move on Anna’s Hell Yes mentality - if she sits down and asks herself whether she wants to do something or attend a certain event, if it’s not a “Hell Yes,” then it’s a “Hell No” Knowing what you definitely want or don’t want in life helps your boundaries shape themselves Hell Yes/Fuck No Theory also applies to teaching consent - it’s either Hell Yes, or Fuck No and there is no gray area Your Love Language should factor in as you set your own boundaries You need to set boundaries not only with partners and loved ones, but also with yourself Not being able to hold boundaries for yourself (food, social media consumption) is often related to unhealed childhood wounds Hammering out her own boundaries with family after becoming a mother Stay neutral when people ask questions or pass judgment - you don’t have to assign meaning to it or take comments personally Parenthood has tested Anna’s boundaries and shown her which faults she needs to work on Reparenting and accepting that your child may not like the boundaries you’ve set You don’t have to justify your boundaries to anyone Too much information from the internet and social media has caused us to doubt our own intuition Links: Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki Anna Glasgow’s Website www.AGlasgowCoach.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

40. Co-Regulation Oct 28, 2021

Show notes

Today’s episode is the mother of all follow-ups. I’ll be revisiting my episodes on the ‘Go To Your Room’ strategy, tantrums, and negative associations, to clarify some confusion and answer all of your questions on these topics. One of the key ideas here is co-regulation, and whether you can lend your child your calm in moments of dysregulation. If you can be present with inaction, and simply be with your child without trying to fix the feeling or becoming dysregulated yourself, then you can hold space for them. But this is not always possible, as we could be dealing with stressors, trauma, or childhood wounds that sometimes make us lose our shit. And if that's the case, this is when you want to implement the harm reduction model and use the Go To Your Room strategy. It can be done in a way that doesn’t feel “abandoning”, and it prevents you from saying something psychologically damaging, and also allows your child to experience the full cycle of their feelings, and settle their bodies on their own. The Finer Details of This Episode: We are the first generation of parents to recognize that past parenting approaches were unhealthy and ineffective, so it can be confusing and overwhelming when everything is new territory - the internet also adds to this Go To Your Room strategy can often feel like you’re abandoning your child because it can be done is abandoning ways If you can tolerate your child’s meltdowns, you should probably hold space for your child in those moments - and that means presence with inaction If you can’t co-regulate without trying to stop the feeling, use the Go To Your Room strategy Ideally we would never leave a child in distress, but if you are about to lose your shit and say something catastrophic, this can do a lot of damage and you need to be implementing the harm reduction model in those moments There can be psychological damage when you try to stop the feeling and prevent it from running its full course, and also when you lose your shit on your child Regulation means bringing order, having a baseline of calm - you can be irritated by something, but it doesn’t throw you off If you feel yourself become immediately dysregulated when your child melts down, this is indicative of a childhood wound If it’s a slow burn and the feeling of being dysregulated gradually builds up, it’s the result of resentment and boundary issues Co-regulation is regulating in the presence of another person - dogs are an excellent example of this as they are present when you’re upset, but not doing anything to try to fix it I hate the traditional definition of co-regulation because it implies that you should actively do something to stop, to shift, to fade the feeling your child is having You do not need to do something when your child is upset, you need to be something In a meltdown situation, you have to lend them your calm, not calm your child down Letting your feelings and emotions run their course is incredibly powerful and healing If we over empathize with every single feeling, we’re doing a disservice to our child because we’re not teaching them how to weather disappointment Go To Your Room strategy allows your child to feel all their feelings, and settle their body on their own The key is for us parents to be regulated Gentle parenting misses the mark by encouraging us to sit with our children through all feelings, but it does not take into account our own stresses and feelings of dysregulation Links: Jamie’s Website - www.jamieglowacki.com Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page - www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Kimberly Ann Johnson Website www.kimberlyannjohnson.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

39. Hiking And Getting Outside with Lauren Robych-Eberle of ‘Kids Who Explore’ Oct 07, 2021

Show notes

Lauren Rodych-Eberle is one of the hosts of the Kids Who Explore podcast, which encourages families to connect with nature and explore the outdoors together. She is the owner of Miss Lauren’s Music Studio, where she teaches voice, piano, ukulele, and preschool music classes, and she is the author of several cookbooks. Lauren has a deep passion for food, hiking, adventure, and travel, and she is just an all-around cool person. We connected on Instagram over tips to handle ticks, and I am so excited to talk to her on the podcast today. We begin with Lauren’s hiking essentials, including a lint roller, TickWise organic tick spray, and a First Aid Kit. We address the pressure parents put on themselves to tackle huge summits, stay on track, and not let their kids stop and explore trails. Lauren offers her advice to keep hikes short, sweet, and fun so that your kids will want to go again, and we look at how hiking builds grit from a young age. Lauren shares her idea to make summer and winter bucket lists, and we trade hilarious parenting stories about dealing with teenagers versus toddlers. We chat about how the most relaxed days with our kids are often the most memorable, why little ones should skip sippy cups altogether, and the inspiration behind Kids Who Explore with founder Adrianna Skori. The Finer Details of This Episode: Lauren is one of the hosts of the Kids Who Explore podcast They want to help kids get outdoors She also owns a music studio, teaches music, writes cookbooks, and has a passion for adventure Lauren and I connected on Instagram over a post on ticks Tips to use a lint roller after being outdoors, wear white Her backpack essentials for hiking trips include all-natural TickWise organic spray, lint roller, First Aid Kit, water, snacks, bear spray, clothing layers, blanket, hat, and sunscreen Nature walks still qualify as hikes - whatever it takes to get your family outside Keep the pace short, sweet, and fun so that your kids will want to go hiking again Exploring outdoors helps build grit Make time in nature a priority by investing in gear and including time for it in your schedule Lauren’s summer and winter bucket lists, and encouraging your kids to help you come up with ideas The importance of getting outside in the winter to help stave off depression and Cabin Fever Start looking for winter gear in the off-season to help mitigate the cost Most relaxed days with our kids are often the most memorable, like my days eating ice cream with Pascal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner Parents can get obsessed with overhydrating their kids, which can complicate potty training and hinder building patience as a skill Quotes “We want nature to help raise our kids.” “We have to keep this short and sweet. Because my goal is that the kids have fun. And by the end, they want to do it again. But if it's like you're pushing them along and rushing them, then they're not going to say they want to do that again.” “I make [a bucket list] every summer and every winter just to kind of give us ideas of fun things to go through. And so like this summer I'm making one that is super toddler-friendly for my daughter to do with me. And also very COVID-friendly, I guess, too, because not as many things are open.” “I think getting outside is super vital in the winter.” Links: Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page - www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Lauren Robych-Eberle’s website - www.LaurenRodychEberle.com Kids Who Explore website - www.KidsWhoExplore.com TickWise Organic Insect Repellent The Mini Cup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Oh Crap Parenting with Jamie Glowacki

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected