Mother Plus Podcast

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#100: The Little Things ADHD Moms Can Do For Their Tomorrow Self Today Apr 04, 2024

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What is one thing you can do for your tomorrow self today?

The answer to this question will give you all the material you need to create love notes for yourself, i.e. beautiful gestures throughout the house to help ease that scattered ADHD brain of yours.

We’re going to talk about:

How the book “Mindful Loving” by Henry Grayson changed the way Stacey looks at relationships and herself (hint: It’s the opposite of the famous “You complete me” line from Jerry Maguire.)
The importance of loving — and taking care of — ourselves in our ADHD Motherhood. As we've learned in past episodes, nobody is coming into save us. We have to be our own "prince charming"
How Stacey’s morning workout routine lead to her epiphany of “love notes,” completely changing her morning experience, most mornings at least.
A laundry list of love notes for you to try, and the way you can create love notes that work for you and your life.

Things referenced in this episode:
"Mindful Loving" by Henry Grayson
Cycle Sync With Me Part 1
Cycle Sync With Me Part 2
To join our ADHD Mom Club, click here to sign up for the waitlist:
https://www.motherplusser.com/ADHD-mom-club-waitlist
To download our free ADHD Meditation, click here:
https://www.motherplusser.com/ADHD-meditation

WHERE TO FIND US NOW

Connect with Stacey

🎧 The Next Phase Podcast —
on Apple & Spotify
📸 Instagram: @stacehutson

Connect with Steph

🎧 The Peri-Normal Podcast
on Apple and Spotify
✍️ The Reclamation Era
on Substack
📝 MidCircle
— a writing community for midlife women
📸 Instagram: @stephsprenger

#99 A Psychologist Explains How The ADHD Mom Can Advocate For Herself: Part 2 Apr 02, 2024

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In part 2 of our discussion with Dr. Rebecca Richey, we talk about the impact of going undiagnosed, whether by chance or by choice. We focus on treatment options, including medication and holistic options, and Dr. Richey explains how individualized treatment can be for women with ADHD, and that a multi-modal approach works best. Dr. Richey explains the impact that peri-menopause and menopause have on women with ADHD, breaking down the hormonal interaction with the brain.

What happens when a woman does not get diagnosed with ADHD but still has issues with attention and focus? Dr. Richey shares the overlap in ADHD symptoms with other diagnoses.
We discuss the casualties of not being identified as having ADHD—whether missed opportunities, diminished academic/career success, anxiety, or nervous system impact.
Getting an ADHD diagnosis can help make everything else make sense, and it gives you permission to be the type of mom that you are.
Normalize being a neurodivergent mom and find your people so you can walk into the world proudly and with support.
Dr. Richey breaks down different treatment options for women with ADHD, and recommends a "multi-modal" approach.
Treatment efficacy varies among women, so you may need to do some trial and error to see what works best for you, including modifying nutrition and exercise, doing body work, trying therapy and medication, etc. Every woman is different.
We dip our toes into the impact of peri-menopause and ADHD.

Follow Dr. Richey here:
https://cowomenscare.com/
JOIN THE ADHD MOMS CLUB HERE:
https://www.motherplusser.com/ADHD-mom-club-waitlist
Download the ADHD Mom Meditation Here:
https://www.motherplusser.com/ADHD-meditation

WHERE TO FIND US NOW

Connect with Stacey

🎧 The Next Phase Podcast —
on Apple & Spotify
📸 Instagram: @stacehutson

Connect with Steph

🎧 The Peri-Normal Podcast
on Apple and Spotify
✍️ The Reclamation Era
on Substack
📝 MidCircle
— a writing community for midlife women
📸 Instagram: @stephsprenger

8 Spiritual Woo Woo Practices For The ADHD Mom Mar 28, 2024

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In this episode, we cover:

We went viral last week with a reel about 1990s Gifted and Talented Girls with ADHD, anxiety, perfectionism who are "now immersed in a spiritual journey," and it must have struck a nerve—today we are exploring the connection between women who have ADHD and are into all things spiritual and woo.
We wonder if the creative, intuitive, daydreamy qualities ADHD women possess makes us more drawn to the spiritual realm, and we have some 8 tips for how to incorporate "woo" practices into your life to actually help with your ADHD.
Make your daydreams more concrete with journaling, vision boarding, and externalizing the big ideas that are floating around in your head.
Reprogram your thoughts and challenge the narrative you've created about yourself and your ADHD—IFS therapy, journaling, and mindfulness in the moment can help.
Meditation can be amazing, but a challenge for the ADHD brain! We created one just for moms who have ADHD , and we recommend guided meditation or even making your own meditations.
We LOVE a good tangent, but try going off on a positive one in lieu of a usual rant. It's like an affirmation tangent and it can feel great!
Chaos and clutter can be super overwhelming—we have a few tips to clear the energy in your space.
Have you tried tapping, or EFT? This can be an amazing reset for the ADHD brain.
Give yourself the gift of "sexy rituals." Make the mundane a little more delightful to your senses and see how it helps with the transitions of your day.

In this Stace and Steph episode, we explore all things "woo" through the lens of ADHD. We give some tips to integrate rituals and practices that make our brains calmer and our lives feel less chaotic. We cover everything from meditation to journaling to tapping to help us get in touch with our spiritual side in a way that brings peace and organization to our ever-busy ADHD brains. At the root of all of it is finding compassion and acceptance for yourself, highlighting your strong suits and finding ways to make the challenges less stressful. You can download a meditation we made just for ADHD moms here.

Resources Mentioned (we are not affiliates, just passing on what we like):
ADHD Mom Meditation: https://www.motherplusser.com/ADHD-meditation
Chani App: https://app.chani.com/
Amanda Frances (rants): https://amandafrances.com/
Mary Kate Meditations: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCamj35pqzYWvABxGfVOTsvA
New Moon Ritual (You can purchase recording here): https://www.motherplusser.com/new-moon-retreat

WHERE TO FIND US NOW

Connect with Stacey

🎧 The Next Phase Podcast —
on Apple & Spotify
📸 Instagram: @stacehutson

Connect with Steph

🎧 The Peri-Normal Podcast
on Apple and Spotify
✍️ The Reclamation Era
on Substack
📝 MidCircle
— a writing community for midlife women
📸 Instagram: @stephsprenger

A Psychologist Explains How The ADHD Mom Can Advocate For Herself: Part 1 Mar 26, 2024

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In this episode, we cover:

The diagnosis process can be fraught. Dr. Richey says that you do NOT need a diagnosis to start giving yourself love and compassion. You don't need a label to understand yourself.
The DSM is very limited, and is inadequate when it comes to diagnosing women and girls as well as the BIPOC community.
Dr. Richey breaks down the difference between screening and testing, and outlines the different types of practitioners who provide diagnosis. Understanding WHY you are seeking a diagnosis is an important part of choosing the correct path for you.
We learn the term "Good girl zone" and how it starts with little girls who can't pay attention in class but pretend they are so they don't get in trouble.
"You are neurodivergent, and that's okay. You don't have to do that." Dr. Richey gives us the permission to function differently that we didn't get in childhood. In fact, not only can we be okay, we can be better than ok.
Dr. Richey tells us how to prepare for an ADHD evaluation in terms of what to do ahead of time, what to bring, and what to expect.

In part one of our incredible conversation with Dr. Rebecca Richey, Psy.D, MBA, LC, SW, MS, CP, CAC-III, who serves as the clinical director for Colorado Women's Collaborative Healthcare, we discuss the complicated process of getting an ADHD diagnosis. She covers the different types of practitioners available, the different options for evaluation, and the obstacles to getting diagnosed, including flaws in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) that make women and the BIPOC community more likely to fall through the cracks. She sheds light on what happens when girls are not properly diagnosed with ADHD.
Follow Dr. Richey here:
https://cowomenscare.com/
Download the ADHD Mom Meditation Here:
https://www.motherplusser.com/ADHD-meditation
Here are the abbreviated notes from Dr. Richey (if you want the whole notes page, email me at hello@motherplusser.com and I will send them to you):

Screening vs. testing—any self-completed forms that ask about symptoms is a screener. Doing a self-eval and talking to a professional for a while is a screener or an enhanced screener.
Testing/psychological assessment—more in-depth and uses objective measures (vs. subjective). Objective measures being cognitive testing, continuous performance testing, memory testing, executive functioning, collaborative info.
Whether you get a screener or an assessment depends on what you want...
- If you think you have ADHD and want to try medication, a screening with a PCP or psychiatrist is in line.
- If you want treatment that doesn’t involve medication, a screening with a master’s level clinician is great.

WHERE TO FIND US NOW

Connect with Stacey

🎧 The Next Phase Podcast —
on Apple & Spotify
📸 Instagram: @stacehutson

Connect with Steph

🎧 The Peri-Normal Podcast
on Apple and Spotify
✍️ The Reclamation Era
on Substack
📝 MidCircle
— a writing community for midlife women
📸 Instagram: @stephsprenger

Clearing Storage & Memory In Your Computer For The ADHD Mom Mar 21, 2024

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Stace and Steph have a dirty secret—their computers' storage and memory are AWFUL.
Do you have a "thing" like this that makes you feel embarrassed, ashamed, and overwhelmed? Something that feels like a weight on you but you can't seem to make yourself address it?
Steph decided to clean up her computer's storage over the weekend—here's how she did it.
Decluttering—MacBook style! We'll walk you through step by step the things you need to do to get your computer running better.
We aren't tech experts by any means, but doing even a few of these tasks will make you feel WAY better about your chaotic, clutter-filled computer.

In today's bonus episode, Steph tackles the Tedious Task of the Week: decluttering her MacBook's storage. From deleting files to erasing emails to cleaning up her browser bookmarks, Steph's computer is running a lot more smoothly and she feels great about it! She tells you why it feels SO overwhelming to maintain her computer's memory/storage (which she still doesn't really understand), and why it's worth it to sit down and clean it up from time to time.

WHERE TO FIND US NOW

Connect with Stacey

🎧 The Next Phase Podcast —
on Apple & Spotify
📸 Instagram: @stacehutson

Connect with Steph

🎧 The Peri-Normal Podcast
on Apple and Spotify
✍️ The Reclamation Era
on Substack
📝 MidCircle
— a writing community for midlife women
📸 Instagram: @stephsprenger

An ADHD Professional Explains Why Motherhood Is Such A Struggle For Women With ADHD: Part 2 Mar 19, 2024

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In this episode, we cover:

What internalized values have contributed to women with ADHD feeling like a failure, and how do we shake off cultural beliefs and gender roles that we do not subscribe to?
ADHD moms have interest-wired brains: We talk about the impact of having our interests align with our children's and how much easier it is to connect with them when we aren't forcing ourselves to sit on the floor and engage in imaginative play.
Hot topic of the day: "Does everyone have ADHD?" Spoiler alert: No! Buckle up for a good, old-fashioned rant on this dismissive belief.
ADHD is a feminist issue. Period. Because of gender expectations, we were overlooked as children, and now that we are "failing" at the expectations of being an adult/mother/wife, our struggles become very real.
Many women are diagnosed with anxiety instead of ADHD, and when they start receiving ADHD treatment, their anxiety symptoms are reduced.
"Nobody knows your internal experience better than you do." It's very easy for women to dismiss our own intuition about what's going on with us, and we need to remember that we can trust our own authority.
Leah gives us practical tips and hacks to tackle tasks that are NOT interesting to our ADHD brains so we can get things done: systems, off-loading, automation, and body doubling, to name a few.

In part two of our conversation with Leah Barnes, we discuss ADHD and feminism, the curse of flying under the radar, having your symptoms dismissed, and second guessing your own intuition. Leah gives us strategies for staying on top of tasks with body doubling, tagging, automating, and off-loading chores that just aren't working. Most importantly, she reminds you that if you have ADHD, there is nothing wrong with you, and it isn't your fault! Leah is such a compassionate warrior and we are so grateful to have her as a resource.
You can find her here:
Website: ridgelinecas.com
Instagram: @ridgelinecounseling
Facebook: @ridgelineCAS

WHERE TO FIND US NOW

Connect with Stacey

🎧 The Next Phase Podcast —
on Apple & Spotify
📸 Instagram: @stacehutson

Connect with Steph

🎧 The Peri-Normal Podcast
on Apple and Spotify
✍️ The Reclamation Era
on Substack
📝 MidCircle
— a writing community for midlife women
📸 Instagram: @stephsprenger

BONUS: An ADHD Mom Loses It Mar 14, 2024

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Today, we're going to spend 10 minutes talking about ADHD and losing it. As in, your temper and your mind. In this quickie episode, we're going to cover:

How ADHD and losing your temper are related
What Leah Barnes mentioned in the previous episode: "I was struggling to begin with, but now, instead of keeping track of my own life, I've also got to keep track of these other people too."
What do you do with that pressure? If you don't deal with it? The answer: Explode.
Stacey shares her story of losing her temper on her 4-year old on her 6th sick day in a row.
Steph steps in to rescue Stacey with sage advice; the kind that you never forget

Email in with your "lose it" stories at hello@motherplusser.com
Please support us by clicking that check mark in the top right in Apple Podcasts to subscribe. And thank you, as always, for being a listener.

WHERE TO FIND US NOW

Connect with Stacey

🎧 The Next Phase Podcast —
on Apple & Spotify
📸 Instagram: @stacehutson

Connect with Steph

🎧 The Peri-Normal Podcast
on Apple and Spotify
✍️ The Reclamation Era
on Substack
📝 MidCircle
— a writing community for midlife women
📸 Instagram: @stephsprenger

An ADHD Professional Explains Why Motherhood Is Such A Struggle For Women With ADHD: Part 1 Mar 12, 2024

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Steph and I are more than ready to talk about ADHD for moms with a professional. Welcome Leah Barnes, licensed clinical mental health counselor with a specialty in ADHD for adults. We ask her EVERYTHING about ADHD in women and ADHD in motherhood. Here's what we cover:

The phenomenon of moms realizing they have ADHD after getting their kids diagnosed (which actually happened to Leah)
You don’t know what to look for “until you know what you’re looking for”
Nobody is going to advocate for you which is why it’s so important to know what you’re looking for
Why is it more likely for girls with ADHD to still be good at school?
How does ADHD present differently in girls and women?
In order to be functional, we have to get to an emergency level
Why ADHD is amplified in motherhood (the answer is fascinating)
Our executive functioning administrative assistant - breaking down the tasks that we have to do as a mom
Why many household tasks for ADHD moms are “not sticky”
“Care tasks are morally neutral.” Or are they?

Leah Barnes is a licensed clinical mental health counselor supervisor in North Carolina. She has been a licensed clinician since 2007 and currently owns her own online practice where she focuses on late diagnosed or suspected ADHD and or autistic adults located in either of the Carolinas. As a late diagnosed ADHD er, mother of two, and full time business owner, she understands the struggles of parenting with ADHD from both a personal and clinical perspective.

You can find her here:

Website: ridgelinecas.com

Instagram: @ridgelinecounseling

Facebook: @ridgelineCAS

WHERE TO FIND US NOW

Connect with Stacey

🎧 The Next Phase Podcast —
on Apple & Spotify
📸 Instagram: @stacehutson

Connect with Steph

🎧 The Peri-Normal Podcast
on Apple and Spotify
✍️ The Reclamation Era
on Substack
📝 MidCircle
— a writing community for midlife women
📸 Instagram: @stephsprenger

BONUS: How To Clean Your Fridge For The ADHD Mom Mar 07, 2024

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Steph tackles her chaotic fridge in today's Tedious Task of the Week episode.
Step 1: Throw out the questionable stuff—no guilt, just toss it!
Step 2: Remove leftovers you know you aren't going to eat and put the containers on the counter.
Step 3: Take out trashy items your kids left in there (or you did, oops) like cardboard packaging and half-consumed smoothies.
Step 4: Reorganize just a tiny bit to make it look prettier and less overwhelming.
Step 5: Clean out the leftover containers and put them in the dishwasher—you're done!

In today's mini-episode, Steph tackles the Tedious Task of the Week—cleaning out the fridge. She does a quick and half-ass job but it worked for her and it can work for you, too! So make a coffee and put on a playlist and get to it! Less than ten minutes and you're done!

WHERE TO FIND US NOW

Connect with Stacey

🎧 The Next Phase Podcast —
on Apple & Spotify
📸 Instagram: @stacehutson

Connect with Steph

🎧 The Peri-Normal Podcast
on Apple and Spotify
✍️ The Reclamation Era
on Substack
📝 MidCircle
— a writing community for midlife women
📸 Instagram: @stephsprenger

I Am An ADHD Mom: What Do I Do Now? (The Best Resources & Recommendations Inside) Mar 05, 2024

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ADHD meds—what it's supposed to feel like, how it's going for Steph, and the challenges of getting meds right now.
Our favorite books on ADHD—especially for women—and the things we love about them.
Applying the ADHD filter to our lives and our motherhood feels embarrassing at times, like it's all we can talk about. But the integration, healing, and reclamation are such an important part of the diagnosis process.
But the hyper-focus on ADHD has also been a useful tool for taking ACTION in the moment and changing the structure of our lives to set us up for success and calm. We've seen change just from the awareness, no meds required.
Doing undesirable tasks as a gift to our future self has absolutely revolutionized the way we perceive household chores.
Understanding why you are the way you are and having that validation is the key to having compassion for yourself AND we love ourselves this way and don't want to have a neurotypical brain.

In the final episode of this 5-part series for moms who feel like they are failing motherhood, through the lens of ADHD, Stace and Steph talk about medication, therapy, recommendations for our favorite books and podcasts on ADHD, and the lessons we've learned since our diagnosis and how we are structuring our days and our household differently. We highlight the self compassion we've discovered since our ADHD diagnoses and talk about the importance of finding an ADHD buddy and building a community so you don't feel so alone through this journey.

Resources:

KC Davis: Struggle Care Podcast & How To Keep House While Drowning Book
Tracy Otsuka: ADHD for Smart Ass Women Podcast & ADHD for Smart Ass Women Book
You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid Book
The Queen of Distraction: How Women with ADHD Can Conquer Chaos, Find, Focus, and Get More Done
The Art of Decluttering Podcast (Search "The ADHD Series")
How ADHD Affects Home Organization Book

WHERE TO FIND US NOW

Connect with Stacey