Mormon Marriages

Latest Episodes:

E40 - In Sickness and in Health with RyLee and Ruben Matangi Jan 14, 2020

Show notes

Ruben and RyLee have been married for 7 years and have 3 beautiful girls ages 5 and under. Through navigating career choices, becoming new parents, four moves, and a baby being life flighted, RyLee has also dealt with chronic eczema from head to toe. This past year it has gotten out of control to the point of leaving her in bed for weeks and even months on end. With three tiny girls that depend on her during the day, life seemed suddenly unmanageable. Spending money on doctors appointments, treatments and answers to no avail, their marriage has been stretched and challenged. Ultimately, even though they are still in the depths of searching for answers regarding RyLee’s health, this trial has brought them closer as they continue to navigate this journey together.

E39 - The Divorced Mormon with Jenny Rollins Nelson Jan 07, 2020

Show notes

As members of the church, one of our ultimate goals is getting married in the temple one day and promising to our future spouse for time and all eternity.

So, what happens when eternity doesn't last as long as you thought it would?

No one gets married with the anticipation that they will get divorced later. Unfortunately, it happens!

Divorce can be a taboo topic in the church. It's not a topic frequently discussed in Sunday School (other than how to avoid it). With so much emphasis on family and temple marriage, it can leave a divorced member feeling lost in limbo, unsure what their place is in the grand scheme of things. There aren't very many resources readily available to help navigate such a troubling time.

Thankfully, people like Jenny Rollins Nelson are seeking to change that!

Join us for this week's episode as we dive head first into Jenny's personal experience with divorce, re-entering the dating field, relying on the Savior, and learning to love herself again.

In her own words, "Yes, there is life after divorce!"

BONUS | The Parable of the Growth Ecosystem with Nate & Ang Dec 24, 2019

Show notes

In 2011, Nate quit his job and set out to find the answers to what makes a marriage truly extraordinary.

After years of research, seminars, books and trainings, and from talking with top notch couples, therapists, and experts, he has finally been able to sum it up into one simple principle.

A good seed, when placed in the right ecosystem - with adequate light, fertile soil, and an abundance of water - has no choice but to grow!

Your marriage is no different.

Check out this bonus episode to figure out why!

E38 - Divorce Ideation with Dr. Alan Hawkins Dec 12, 2019

Show notes

Have you ever found yourself thinking about divorce? Have you had thoughts like, "did I marry the wrong person?" or "Is my marriage going to fail?"

According to Dr. Alan Hawkins' research on divorce ideation, you wouldn't be alone. His studies have shown that around 25% of married individuals have thought about divorce in the last 6 months alone.

Does that mean your marriage is doomed? Absolutely not!

In this episode of the podcast, we chat with Dr. Alan Hawkins about exactly what divorce ideation is and why you may have it. We talk about how you can use those thoughts as a catalyst to help your marriage be better than it ever has been. We also discuss those instances when divorce really is best for everyone involved.

For a topic that is often taboo in church culture, Dr. Alan Hawkins provides comforting and reassuring research to help you navigate having thoughts of divorce.

Enjoy!

E36 - Grief and Disappointment with Nate & Ang Nov 18, 2019

Show notes

In the last few weeks, Nate and Angilyn have experienced a rollercoaster of emotions.

They felt the excitement and joy of learning that they were expecting for the first time, only to feel the heartache and grief of a miscarriage shortly afterwards.

Everyone deals with grief and loss in different ways. In this episode of the podcast, Nate and Ang share how having a support system of close friends and family has helped to ease their pain.

In Nate's words, "It was so fun having people be ecstatic with us, and it was so powerful to have people cry with us when it didn’t work out. To me, there’s nothing more beautiful in life than having friendships like that."

E35 - Betrayal Trauma Part 2 with Kristin B. Hodson Nov 11, 2019

Show notes

Latter-day Saints have been talking about what an ideal marriage would look like ever since they were a young child in primary.

"I love to see the temple," they sing, "I'll go inside someday."

No one goes into a marriage thinking they are going to experience a betrayal.

So, what happens when that story of the ideal marriage gets ripped out of your hands? When betrayal happens, what do you do next? How to you navigate all the emotions that come along with it without dooming the relationship to failure?

In this week's episode of the podcast, we continue our conversation with Kristin Hodson, AASECT certified Sex Therapist and LCSW, about how to navigate an intimate betrayal in your relationship.

E34 - A Call to Ghana with Tom & Becky Rogers Nov 04, 2019

Show notes

Tom & Becky Rogers are the proud parents of 10 children and the founders of FamiliesMentoringFamilies.org, an international organization that strengthens families through service, collaboration, and education to develop leadership and self-reliance. In 2017, they moved to Ghana, Africa with their youngest 5 children to pursue their personal mission. The first 18 months were an intense preparation as they gained a lot of experience VERY quickly, including within their own family dynamic.

As the Rogers interacted with people and developed relationships in Africa, they were drawn to the multi-generational impact that educating a family, beginning with the mother, has in addressing the "front line" of poverty. Today, FMF is building family literacy centers across Africa and is beginning a new initiative to reunite "orphans" with their parents through the Family Restoration Center.

With the help of American volunteers, cooperating with local leadership, team expeditions are gaining cultural experience and making a real difference in the lives of families, one at a time.

"If we moved to Africa, we’d have to learn to live so radically different that we’d actually have time to be a family." -Tom

Ask a Mormon Sex Therapist #29 LIVE RECORDING Part 2 Oct 11, 2019

Show notes

In part 2 of our LIVE recording, we tackle two more questions from the guys!

Question #1

“My wife and I are trying to conceive. This is one of the most stressful times of my life, and stress is a major anti-aphrodisiac for me. How do I confront the pressure to perform?

Question #2

"My wife has a “fun” sexual past with her high school boyfriends. Before we dated she had shared too many of those experiences with me. I was fine with it, until I woke up to her crying on our wedding night. It triggered a jealousy and resentment where I feel she gave “them” her fun self. I got the Mormon prude and they got the fun girl. I love her, but I feel like she has never chosen me. I get that I’m at fault with the unforgiving heart and mad with jealousy that has built emotional walls. I feel like all our sex has been mercy sex. I don’t even want to have sex with her because that’s what it is. When we become intimate all I can see is her doing “this” with “them.” It makes me regret and feel bitterness that I strived to stay a virgin and be as "clean" as I could. I feel like I have lived life wrong. Since she is a terrific good person and she has the “dirty” past, she is the better more healthy person while I am the bitter/resentful seminary graduate boy. It makes me hate myself that I can’t get over that. I’m over 15 years into this and the cloud just gets darker and bigger. How can I start becoming more intimate with my wife while suffering with this intense jealousy? I just finished your course enhancing sexual intimacy and I am grateful for you and what you are doing. So, thank you and I would love to here your answer knowing it will be painful.”

E33 - The Art of Love with Howard & Shari Lyon Oct 08, 2019

Show notes

"Art is therapy for me. I love it so much. There is nothing, outside of God and family, that is more rewarding than making something. We were created to be creators. It is our destiny. What a wonderful thing that is! It’s the only thing I can imagine doing forever. Everything else would get boring. Creating things has the potential to fulfill you through eternity." - Howard Lyon In this episode of the podcast, Howard and Shari Lyon share with us their incredible love story. 25 years of marriage and three kids later, their life is far from conventional. Both incredible artists, they share with us how creating through art has influenced their love of life and love for each other. We hope you enjoy it!

Ask a Mormon Sex Therapist #28 LIVE RECORDING Part 1 Oct 04, 2019

Show notes

In part 1 of our LIVE recording, we hear what inspired Jennifer to put her life’s work into helping LDS women and couples develop healthy sexuality in their lives and marriages. We also delve into questions asked by two of our lady listeners! #1: I live in Utah and I feel like there is a lot of pressure from my ward and surroundings suppressing my sexuality. When I'm on vacation or trips alone with my husband I feel so able to claim my sexuality but when I come back from trips or vacations, I feel like it gets stripped away with motherhood, the sense of what it is to be a female and then I feel like an object to be managed sexually. I recognize a perfect mormon women is a made up cultural myth. But I feel that owning my sexuality is possible. I also find that I resent my husband's sexuality and I'm judgemental of it and I need help. How do I become a whole women and stay solid in my sexuality. The shame force is strong in Utah! Can you paint me a picture of what a whole sexual LDS women looks like? Honestly when I try to paint or describe a whole women it ends up looking like a hot mess woman with holes to be used and objectified not the whole women I find on vacation. #2: I have been married for fifteen years and have never had an orgasm. We have tried and tried, but I just can’t do it. How do you do it? My husband and I fit the Mormon mold when it comes to the fact that we were never talked to about sex in any way other than it was bad. What would be your suggestion for me to do?

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