More than Roommates

Latest Episodes:

Episode 120 - 7 Things Healthy Couples Do To Stay in Harmony in Their Marriage Mar 18, 2025

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott & Kristen Kedersha discuss how to be in Harmony with one another in marriage. This talk was recorded live at the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference at Harris Creek Baptist Church.

Scriptures:

John 15:5

Matthew 19:3-6

Ecc 9:9

Gen 2:18

Heb 10:24-25

Matthew 7:3-5

1 Corinthians 10:12

Questions to Discuss:

1. Of the 7 aspects of Harmony shared by Scott & Kristen, where are you doing well?

2. Of these 7 aspects of Harmony shared by Scott & Kristen, where are you struggling?

3. Ask each other the 7 tune-up questions shared throughout this talk.

Resources:

This is an edited/condensed version of the talk. If you want to watch the entirety of the Harmony message, you can watch it through this link - Harmony Video.

Episode 119 - How To Invest Time, Money, and Energy Into Your Marriage Mar 11, 2025

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about the importance of good investments. There are many ways we can invest our time, money, and energy, and in this episode we discuss the importance of regularly investing in your marriage.

Resources:

Book - Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes... Everything, by Juli Slattery (release July 1, 2025)

MTR Episode 62 – Your Marriage and the Unhurried Life (feat. Chris Schultz)

MTR Episode 64 – Questions to Ask Your Spouse Every Week

MTR Episode 90 – Our Favorite Marriage Resources

Intentionality In Your Marriage – John & Pam McGee, Uncommon Marriage Conference 2022

Scriptures:

Ephesians 5:25

Matthew 6:21

Questions to Discuss:

What are some areas of your life where you invest your time, money, and energy?

How can you invest more time and energy in your marriage?

How can you invest more money in your marriage?

Episode 118 - Small Things Make a Big Difference in Marriage – (feat. Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goi Mar 04, 2025

Show notes

In Part 2 of their interview with Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how the little things truly matter in marriage. We discuss the importance of believing the best about our spouse and why we need a combination of quality and quantity time together.

Scriptures:

1 Peter 3:9

Rom 2:4

Phil 4:8

Questions to Discuss:

What are some small changes you can make in your marriage that could make a big difference?

How do you and your spouse do at believing the best about your spouse’s intentions?

How can you create more quality and quantity time together with your spouse?

Resources:

Book - The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn

Shaunti’s Website – Shaunti.com

Follow Shaunti on Instagram

Follow Brian on Instagram

Married With Benefits Podcast (FamilyLife Network)

Podcast - I Wish You Could Hear This with Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn

Episode 117 - Changing the Way We Talk About Marriage – (feat. Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins) Feb 25, 2025

Show notes

In Part 1 of a 2-Part interview, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott interview Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins about the small things that make all the difference in marriage. In Part 1 we discuss the myth that 50% of all marriages end in divorce and why it’s harmful to perpetuate this myth

Scriptures:

1 Cor 13:13

Hebrews 3:13

1 Cor 7:28

Questions to Discuss:

How can you build your sense of hope in your marriage?

What would you tell a young couple before they get married? How would you encourage or challenge them?

What are some ways you need to change the way you talk about marriage with others?

Resources:

Shaunti’s Website – Shaunti.com

Follow Shaunti on Instagram

Follow Brian on Instagram

Married With Benefits Podcast (FamilyLife Network)

Podcast - I Wish You Could Hear This with Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn

Episode 116 - How Can You Serve Each Other in Marriage When You Don’t Feel Like It? Feb 18, 2025

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss the importance and centrality of serving your spouse in marriage when life is full and busy and when you don’t feel like it!

Scriptures:

Mark 10:45

Gal 5:13

Phil 2:1-11

Phil 1:27

1 Cor 13:6

1 Peter 3:7

Resources:

Book – Us in Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage, by Ted Lowe

More Than Roommates – Episode 16 – The Importance of Empathy in Marriage (feat. Ted Lowe)

Questions to Discuss:

1. What is the thing around the house you hate to do?

2. What is one thing your spouse hates to do around the house?

3. What Does It Look Like to Serve Each Other in Your Marriage?

Resources to Help Marital Intimacy and What To Do Next? MTR Quickies Episode 12 Feb 14, 2025

Show notes

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates (our last “Quickie”), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what’s next—what do you do with all that’s been shared in these 12 days of Quickie episodes. We also share some recommended resources to help you take the next step in your marriage and sexual intimacy.

Questions to Discuss:

Which episode of the 12 days of Quickies was most helpful to you?

What’s something you learned in this series that you want to apply in your marriage?

Are there some concepts discussed in these episodes that would be good to discuss with community to help encourage and challenge each other?

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Website – Authentic Intimacy

Podcast – Christian Sexuality – Java with Juli

Podcasts – The Naked Marriage Podcast with Dave & Ashley Willis and Marriage on the Line with Dave & Ashley

Book – A Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds, by Douglas Rosenau

Book - Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn and Michael Sytsma

Frequently Asked Questions About Sex - MTR Quickie Episode 11 Feb 13, 2025

Show notes

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some frequently asked questions about sex, including questions about cussing in the bedroom, sexual abuse, can I say “No,” sex during menstruation, and more.

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 7:1-5

Hebrews 13:4

Ephesians 4:29

Questions to Discuss:

How do you handle it in your marriage when one of you is in the mood for sex and the other isn’t?

Is there any part of your past/your story that would be helpful to discuss a counselor or doctor to get some help and guidance?

What questions do you still have about sex and marriage? Email them in to marriage@harriscreek.org for future episodes.

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Website – Authentic Intimacy

Ministry for those who have experienced sexual abuse – Courageous Hope at Harris Creek

Book – Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault, by Justin & Lindsey Holcomb

Is the Goal of Sex Mutual Orgasm? MTR Quickie Episode 10 Feb 12, 2025

Show notes

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss a frequently asked question about orgasms—for him, for her, and the elusive unicorn of mutual orgasm. We also discuss some common differences between the male and female orgasm.

Questions to Discuss:

Have you and your spouse discussed your expectations about how to please each other?

How can you take one step to help your spouse reach orgasm?

How do you do in giving feedback to each other in the bedroom?

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Podcast – The Naked Marriage Podcast – Should We Orgasm Together?

Website – Authentic Intimacy

A Christian Perspective on Birth Control - MTR Quickie Episode 9 Feb 11, 2025

Show notes

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss a frequently asked question— how followers of Christ should think about and make decisions about birth control. What does the Bible say and how Christians should think about birth control.

Scriptures:

Psalm 127:3

Romans 12:2

1 Cor 6:19-20

Questions to Discuss:

Have you and your spouse discussed your views about birth control?

Take some time to pray about what God would have you do regarding birth control.

Do some research about birth control and discuss with your doctor and your community as needed.

Resources:

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Podcast – More Than Roommates Episode 42 – When’s the Right Time to Grow Your Family?

Website – Authentic Intimacy

Addressing Common Myths About Sex - MTR Quickie Episode 8 Feb 10, 2025

Show notes

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some common myths and stereotypes about sex drive, desire, and frequency and some potential differences between men and women.

Questions to Discuss:

What’s the biggest challenge you face in your marriage related to sex drive, desire, and frequency?

Have a conversation with your spouse about the topics raised in this episode. Make sure you listen well and seek to understand.

Resources:

Book – Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma

Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Podcast – Married with Benefits (FamilyLife Network)

Website – Authentic Intimacy