More than Roommates

Latest Episodes:

Episode 112 - Do You Speak Your Spouse’s Language? Jan 07, 2025

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the five love languages (as written by Dr. Gary Chapman) and how knowing our love languages allows us to better speak the love language of our spouse. When we know their love language, it gives us an opportunity serve our spouse in a way that honors them.

Scriptures:

1 Peter 3:7

Phil 2:3-4

Resources:

Book – The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

Resource - 5 Love Languages Quiz

Blog Post - How You Can Date Your Spouse According To The 5 Love Languages

Questions to Discuss:

1. What language did you study in school?

2. What’s your love language? Your spouse’s love language? If you don’t know, take the quiz at the website listed above.

3. What’s one way you can speak your spouse’s love language today/this week?

Episode 111 - Looking Back and Forward with Gratitude Dec 31, 2024

Show notes

Happy New Year! In this brief episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott briefly reflect on the last 12 months as we look backward on 2024 and forward to 2025 with gratitude.

Questions to Discuss:

What are you most grateful for from the past 12 months?

What are you most looking forward to in 2025?

How can you and your spouse cultivate a habit of gratitude for your lives and marriage?

Scriptures:

Joshua 4

Episode 110 - Hope This Christmas Dec 24, 2024

Show notes

Merry Christmas Eve from the More Than Roommates team! In this brief Christmas Eve reflection, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss our true hope and where hope is found on Christmas Day and every day!

Scriptures:

Proverbs 13:12

Romans 15:13

Questions to Discuss:

What’s your favorite Christmas gift you’ve ever received?

What are you hopeful for this Christmas?

What’s your greatest hope that God would do in your marriage and through your marriage?

Episode 109 - Marriage Myth: We Think We're Healthy Because We Don't Fight (feat. Greg and Erin Smal Dec 17, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott interview Greg and Erin Smalley about conflict and the myth that an absence of conflict means a couple must be healthy. We discuss what the Bible says about conflict and how healthy conflict repair can help us to be fully known and fully loved.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Do you believe that quarrels and conflict can help couples truly know each other better?

2. Are there areas of your marriage where you have avoided tough conversations and swept any issues under the rug?

3. How are the two of you different from one another when it comes to conflict?

4. How can you develop a posture of humility in your marriage?

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 7:28

James 4:1

1 Cor 13:6

Eph 4:29

Phil 2:3-4

Rom 12:18

MT 7:3-5

MT 18:15-17

1 Peter 5:5

Resources:

Greg and Erin’s Podcast - Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage

Website - Focus on the Family

Episode 108 - How the Reactive Cycle Affects Your Marriage Dec 10, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the reactive cycle couples often get into with each other when their expectations aren’t met. We often fall into harmful patterns that can lead us to negative reactions in our marriage. What is this cycle and how do we get out of it?

Scriptures:

PR 15:1

Rom 12:2

Phil 4:8

Resources:

Hope Restored Marriage Intensive (from Focus on the Family)

The Reactive Cycle “Test” – through this brief assessment you can learn your marriage triggers and responses.

Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage, by Gary Thomas

Seven Primal Questions: Take Control Of The Hidden Forces That Drive You, by Mike Foster

Questions to Discuss:

1. What triggers your reactive cycle?

2. How can you increase the gap between a negative trigger and your response?

3. How can we avoid spiraling down into the reactive cycle?

Episode 107 - Memorable Ways to Celebrate Your Wedding Anniversary Dec 03, 2024

Show notes

It only comes one time every year, but it’s worth celebrating! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to celebrate your wedding anniversary in a memorable and significant way.

Resources:

Blog Post – 30 Unique Ways to Celebrate Your Anniversary

Scripture:

Ephesians 5:31-32

1 Peter 3:7

Questions to Discuss:

1. What’s your favorite party you’ve ever been to?

2. What are your expectations for your anniversary? Make sure you discuss what each of your expectations are for celebrating your anniversary.

3. Why is it important to celebrate your anniversary? Do you realize your marriage is intended to be a picture of God’s triune love?

4. Where do we want to be in our marriage on our 50th anniversary?

Episode 106 - When Do I Overlook An Offense? Nov 26, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about what it means to overlook a small offense in marriage. When is it okay to overlook it and when do you need to address and discuss it?

Scriptures:

Proverbs 19:11

Romans 12:18

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Resources:

Harris Creek Conflict: Field Guide

Harris Creek Peacemaker Guide

More Than Roommates – Episode 44 – What To Do When Your Spouse Annoys You

Questions to Discuss:

1. What is your favorite Disney song?

2. How do you know whether you can overlook an offense from your spouse?

3. Why do we give more grace or more easily overlook an offense from a stranger than we do for our spouse?

4. Are you a peace faker, a peace breaker, or a peace maker?

Episode 105 - Mutual Respect in Marriage (feat. Kyler & Britt Nixon from Love Your First Year) Nov 19, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle and Scott interview Kyler and Britt Nixon about mutual respect in marriage. The Nixons primarily work with young couples, but this message is relevant for every couple. The Nixons provide practical ways to provide mutual respect in your marriage.

Scriptures:

Ephesians 5:33

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Romans 12:10

MT 7:12

Resources:

Follow Love Your First Year on Instagram!

Website – Love Your First Year

Online Course - Love Your First Year

Blog Post - The 5 Conflict Languages

Questions to Discuss:

1. How do you and your spouse make decisions? Do you make decisions together? How do you fight for alignment?

2. Why does it matter for you and your spouse to show each other respect?

3. How do you restore trust and respect when either has been broken?

Episode 104 - Holidays and In-Law & Family Expectations Nov 12, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discussing holidays, especially related to expectations around family and in-laws. How can you proactively address some of the challenges couples often face around holiday expectations?

Scriptures:

James 4:1

Matthew 7:12

Phil 2:3-4

Galatians 1:10

Questions to Discuss:

1. What’s your favorite Holiday movie? Is Home Alone a Christmas movie? (Yes, of course it is!).

2. How can you fight back against selfishness during the holidays?

3. How can you and your spouse be peacemakers this holiday season?

Resources:

More Than Roommates - Episode 51 - How To Make This Your Best Holiday Season Yet (Part 1 in a 2-Part Series)

More Than Roommates – Episode 52 – How to Have the Best Holidays Yet With Your Family and In-Laws (Part 2 in a 2-Part Series)

Episode 103 - Protect Your Marriage (Live from the 2024 MTR Marriage Conference) Nov 07, 2024

Show notes

Live from the 2024 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott respond to a testimony of infidelity shared live at the 2024 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference. We share some lessons learned on how to protect our marriages.

Registration is now open for the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference! Find out more at harriscreek.org/events.

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 10:12-13

Romans 13:14

Luke 6:47-49

PS 16:11

MT 7:3-5

1 Tim 1:15

Questions to Discuss:

1. As we unpack Kevin & Kelli’s testimony, what stuck out to you from our observations?

2. What do you run to when you’re stressed in life and in marriage?

3. Who or what is the biggest problem in your marriage?