More Happy Life with Andy Proctor

Latest Episodes:

127: Tackling Loneliness With The Friendly Bench – With Founder Lyndsey Young Feb 06, 2020

Show notes

Talking to strangers may seem like an anxiety producing task, but not if you have a place that is set aside to be friendly with your community. Today’s episode highlights community activist Lyndsey Young, the founder of The Friendly Bench, CIC.

In this episode we discuss why loneliness and social isolation are so hard and bad for your health as well as what can be done to overcome these things. We then talk about the story behind The Friendly Bench and why having a place where you can create deliberate connection is critical for a community.

Learn more about Lyndsey Young:

Lyndsey Young is the founder of award-winning The Friendly Bench CIC, a movement to tackle loneliness, social isolation and community disconnectedness using innovative outdoor social spaces that reconnect people back to their own community. Lyndsey created The Friendly Bench™ after suffering from loneliness and social isolation herself. Bringing together her extensive design knowledge and experience of working on nature and wellbeing projects, The Friendly Bench™ was born. Being closer to nature, active social spaces and bringing people together is what it’s all about – with community at its core.

Winning support from the UK’s Prime Minister; Loneliness Minister, Baroness Diana Barran, and national charities and campaigns tackling loneliness, as well as being featured in New York Times, Huffington Post and Reuters, The Friendly Bench™ network is growing, with further The Friendly Benches launching across the UK this year, The Friendly Bench CIC is also in talks with organisations in Australia and Canada to expand overseas.

I loved learning about The Friendly Bench from Lyndsey and I loved her kind optimism and gentle goodness. I really love what Lyndsey is doing because it’s not just trying to build awareness around loneliness and social isolation, but she is ACTING to make a change.

Find the Friendly Bench here.

Website: https://www.thefriendlybench.co.uk/

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/thefriendlybench/

FB https://www.facebook.com/TheFriendlyBench/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Friendly_Bench

126: A Powerful Cure For Loneliness: Ritual Connection - With TEDx Speaker Baya Voce Jan 17, 2020

Show notes

Have you ever felt lonely? Unfortunately, most people would answer yes. There is a loneliness epidemic going on in the world today and I am on a mission to help fight against it. So is Rite of Passage designer and TEDx speaker, Baya Voce. As I was researching loneliness, I found Baya's TEDx talk (with over 4 million views) on a simple cure for loneliness. This intrigued me and I knew we had to chat. It just so happened that serendipity wanted us to chat as well. My friend and former More Happy Life podcast guest, Doug Cartwright (see episode 120) happens to be friends with Baya and we got on the phone and made this episode a reality.

We talked about some really life-changing principles here:

Micro and Macro Transitions
How to experience Grief and Gratitude simultaneously
Rituals to help with grief and transition
Loneliness and how to deal with it
Connecting with our inner wisdom to find the answers we need

Baya also shares a never-before-published story of how she was able to use ritual to get through a major heart break that began on the TEDx stage.

If you are going through something hard right now, you should listen to this episode.

If you have ever gone through a major transition, you should listen to this episode.

If you have ever felt lonely, you should listen to this episode.

Don't miss this one!

About Baya Voce:

Baya Voce is a Rite of Passage Designer, helping people turn their life transitions into rites of passage through ritual and ceremony.

She's known for designing and facilitating experiences ranging from two-person rituals and 20-person Jeffersonian-style dinners to 100+ person women's circles, elaborate 1,000+-person theatrical productions, and conferences at places like Lincoln Center.

Her TEDx talk on loneliness is one of the most-viewed of all time with over 4 million views. Baya has produced experiences in conjunction with brands like Lyft and Google Fiber, and has been featured by ABC, Fox, MTV, and SXSW for her perspective on human connection, given her prior years as a successful matchmaker. You can connect with her online at www.bayavoce.com or on @baya_voce on instagram.

125: How You FEEL At Your Work (NOT Pay) Determines Whether You Will Stay; with Forbes Author Don Rheem Jan 09, 2020

Show notes

The future of work will be determined more by how we feel than how we are paid. This was said by Don Rheem in his TEDx talk given in 2018. I was sitting on the front row, riveted by his speech. I couldn't wait until it was edited and on YouTube so that I could start sharing it with my colleagues and manager.

There isn't a labor surplus anymore and there likely won't be one for a while. What this does it it enables employees to choose between the best jobs. There are more unfilled jobs in America than there are unemployed people to fill those jobs, and it will likely be this way for at least the next 20 years.

This is why it is so important for managers to prioritize making the workplace a place where their employees feel good.

Listen to today's episode to learn more about how to be a manager who can do that as well as an employee who can find a job that you love.

Find Don Rheem here:

His Book: Thrive By Design: The Neuroscience That Drives High-Performance Cultures

https://amzn.to/2PvEXoE

His Website:

https://www.e3solutions.com/

His TEDx Talk

https://www.ted.com/talks/don_rheme_how_can_work_save_our_relationships

Bio:

Don Rheem is an author and CEO of E3 solutions, a provider of employee workplace metrics which allows organizations to build engaged, high-performance cultures. He focuses on using science-backed research to consult with leaders at all levels within an organization. He is a former science advisor to both Congress and the Secretary of Health and Human Services. I first saw him speak at TEDxBYU a few years ago and you can find his ted talk by searching YouTube or TED.com for “Can Work Save our Relationships?” He is also the author of the book Thrive By Design: The Neuroscience The Drives High-Performance Cultures, published by ForbesBooks.

124: How to be Indistractable with NYT Bestselling Author, Nir Eyal Dec 19, 2019

Show notes

Read the full show notes at https://MoreHappyLife.co/indistractable

Do you get distracted? Do you struggle to stay on task and get taken down the digital rabbit hole more often than you would like? If the answer is yes, you’re not alone.

With all the technology that exists, if you aren’t deliberate about what you allow into your life, you’ll be bombarded. One study showed that the average US smartphone user receives 46 app push notifications per day!

I have experienced the overwhelm and frustration that comes from coming to the end of the day and realizing that I haven’t spent enough time on the things that I valued most. This is what I love about Nir Eyal’s newest book: Indistractable.

In my interview with Nir Eyal, we discuss that the source of our distraction may not be an undiagnosed case of ADHD, but that it is actually discomfort. And the critical factor for me was when he talked about matching our values with our calendars. Why? Because if we actually remember the values that are driving our calendar, it’s easier to do the things we plan. Otherwise, if our calendars do not align with our values, we will constantly be drawn away from them by even the smallest “shiny object” in our view (or our notifications).

This was a game changer for me!

Social media & technology are not our enemies. Our enemy is our own misalignment with our values that keeps us from experiencing what we most desire in life. We MUST prioritize values alignment or we will constantly be distracted.

How can you do this? Well, read the book! Also, here is an exercise the book inspired me to create for myself:

Write down the things that you value most in life.
Write down all the activities you actually have in your schedule and see which of those align with the values on your list.
Now write down things that you still highly value, but that are NOT on your schedule in any form.
Practice gratitude for the things on your list of scheduled items that already align with your deepest desires.
Add more items to your calendar that actually align with your values.
Let go of 3 things that DON’T align with your values (cancel, reschedule, reprioritize).

This exercise is life changing. Too many people feel down and get distracted on Monday (or any day) because they haven’t aligned their values with their schedule.

Is this you? Why do you keep doing things that don’t align with your values?

STOP IT!

Align with your values and be more happy!

Find Nir Eyal here:

Find more at: NirAndFar.com/Indistractable

The schedule maker tool mentioned is here: https://nirandfar.com/schedule-maker/

Summary article: https://www.nirandfar.com/skill-of-the-future/

And distraction guide here: https://www.nirandfar.com/distractions/

Habits vs routines article here: https://www.nirandfar.com/habits/

123: How Good Customer Experience Makes the World Happier with Forbes Author Stacy Sherman Dec 12, 2019

Show notes

In episode 123, I speak with Stacy Sherman about the power of a transformational customer experience. Everyone is used to interacting with a business in a transactional way, but when a business can make a transaction into a transformation, that's when magic happens!

In our conversation we discuss how to make this happen by starting at the top and moving down. If the executives are seeking to increase their own wellbeing, they will naturally desire to make the wellbeing of their employees a priority. And when the employee wellbeing and happiness becomes a priority, it can impact the bottomline in a tangible way.

In other words, customer satisfaction begins with employee satisfaction and employee satisfaction begins with executive wellbeing.

We also discussed how a business can create a "wow moment" by simply connecting with their customers. I shared an example of going to Smashburger on my wedding day and being wowed and she shared an experience she had of being wowed during an experience with the owner of The Lodge at Woodloch who made a genuine connection with her and her family. It seems simple, but it's powerful and it keeps customers talking. Here I am talking about Smashburger and Woodloch!

Stacy's advice for people who want to have a more happy life:

Stacy Sherman"Be intentional and purposeful about how you experience your day"

She does this with an app she uses called The Five Minute Journal that prompts you to record your intentions for the day, what you're grateful for, what you will do to make your day go well, and how you could have improved the day. It's the simple things! If you don't already have a journaling routine to boost positive emotion, this sounds like a good app.

She also emphasized the importance of surrounding yourself with people who support your goals and who don't deflate your confidence. This is critical!

More About Stacy:

Stacy Sherman is known for expertise in designing & implementing successful Customer-Centric programs that differentiate Business (B2B) & Consumer (B2C) brands beyond price. She coaches individuals & leads teams to deploy best in class methodologies & closed-loop processes. She’s currently Director, Customer Experience (CX) & Employee Engagement at Schindler Elevator Corporation (USA), where she’s contributing to record-breaking Net Promoter (NPS) results, Y/Y revenue growth & portfolio protection. Recent accomplishments: 2019 Finalist “CX Leader of the Year” and “CXPA Impact” awards.

Besides CX, Stacy’s led Digital Marketing & Website Conversion Optimization for reputable brands of all sizes & budgets including Verizon Wireless, AT&T, Martha Stewart, ADP, Wilton and more. She’s produced multi-billion dollar sales while increasing customer satisfaction (C-Sat) and Effort scores within cost per acquisition targets.

Find and follow Stacy here:

Twitter (https://twitter.com/stacysherman)

Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/doingcxright/)

Doing CX Right (https://doingcxright.com/about-stacy-sherman/)

Thrive Global (https://thriveglobal.com/authors/stacy-sherman/)

Forbes (http://bit.ly/ForbesStacy)

Stacy's views are her own in this episode.

122: Surround Yourself with Greatness - Mini Episode Nov 21, 2019

Show notes

This episode comes from a chapter of my book Live Your Mission and it is all about surrounding yourself with greatness. If you feel like you are in a rut, take a step back and look at who you spend your time with each day and each week. If you don't believe in your dreams, then you need to diversify your friend group to include those who believe in their dreams.

I hope this helps you today. Enjoy!

121: The Happiness Paradox with NYT #1 Best-Selling Author Richard Eyre Nov 14, 2019

Show notes

In today's episode I interview #1 New York Times best-selling author, Richard Eyre about his new book The Happiness Paradox.

Richard's experience is that there are three main obstacles to happiness and joy:

Control
Ownership
Independence

When we are obsessed with seeking after these alone, it will be a never ending cycle of ultimate dissatisfaction. However there is a way to sustainable happiness according to Richard. To replace these three with three others:

Serendipity
Stewardship
Synergicity (synergy and synchronicity)

We go into more detail about how you can move from control to serendipity, from ownership to stewardship, and from independence to synergicity. It's a beautiful conversation that really helps tap into some core issues we face when we want a more happy life.

In addition, Richard made some special offers to all of the More Happy Life listeners!

1. To get Happiness Paradox for 40% off and with free shipping just go to https://familius.com/eyre-special and use the access code ANDYFRIEND

2. Check out the Instagram of the Eyres here https://www.instagram.com/richardlindaeyre/

3. If you're interested in their books on parenting, go to Valuesparenting.com or go to EyresFreeBooks.com is where you can see the list of all their books and get most of them free online or go to Theeyres.com

More about Richard and Linda Eyre:

New York Times #1 Bestselling Authors Linda and Richard Eyre have seen their books sell in the millions and be translated into more than a dozen languages. Appearing on virtually every national talk show, including Oprah, Today, and CBS This Morning, the Eyres have also spoken and presented throughout the U.S. and in more than 60 countries. They are known for their teachings on parenting and have recently come out with a new book about happiness. Naturally, I wanted to talk to them about the book and I was lucky enough to get Richard on the phone for a very serendipitous conversation.

120: How To Meet Your Highest Self with Doug Cartwright, Founder of The Daily Shifts Nov 07, 2019

Show notes

If you feel like you are not enough or that your life needs to change for you to be happier and healthier, Episode 120 is for you. In this episode I interview the founder of The Daily Shifts, Doug Cartwright. The Daily Shifts is an app that encourages you to engage with your mind and body in a way that can turn your day around.

In this episode we talk about so many amazing things:

Loving kindness meditation
Breathing: Inhale in for 2, Hold for 2, Exhale for 2
The power of Gratitude
The importance of knowing how to manage your energy
"In less than two minutes you can totally change your energy"
The power of transitions to boost or suck our energy
"The number one most important decision I've made was I surrendered my life to the universal flow of the planet."
Surrender to the universe, AND show up everyday the best you can.
A powerful mindset: "Life is happening FOR you and not TO you."
We get back what we put out into the world
Transformative journalism with Michelle Gielan (25:15)
Unfollow negative news and people who are spreading negativity and replace with positivity
How to vote when you don't follow the news (ask trusted friends and then use iSideWith.com to save a year of contention and negativity energy suck.
The loneliness epidemic (31:45) is based in the belief of "I'm not enough"
We are here on earth to do two things: Create and Connect
To have a more happy life create a routine ritual to connect with your intuition and higher self (37:25)

Sign up for The Daily Shifts at https://www.thedailyshifts.com/ and if you sign up for premium membership, you'll also get The Daily Shifts course that is worth $500. This is an amazing deal exclusive to More Happy Life listeners!

More about Doug:

Doug Cartwright is the founder of a new app called The Daily Shifts that helps you to ritualize daily physical and mental shifts to improve your health and happiness. Doug has an amazing story of going from being one of the top sales reps at Vivint, selling over 300 accounts per year having made over a million dollars by the time he was 25. Then he came to a point in his life where he realized he wanted something more than just making more money and buying more things. In today’s episode he shares the transformation of how he found his new purpose in creating daily shifts in his own mind and body through connecting to his intuition.

Follow Doug:

https://www.instagram.com/thedailyshifts/

https://www.instagram.com/doug_cartwright/

Other people mentioned in this episode:

Alicia Gettys

Jenna Nascimento

Michelle Gielan

119: Rediscovering Self Worth Through a Children's Book with Rose Stanek Oct 31, 2019

Show notes

There was once a girl

With a hole in her heart.

Little Love was her name.

Where was she to start?

It was not of her doing.

She was not to blame.

But the hole in her heart

Was there just the same.

In this interview, Rose and I talk about how easy it is to get caught up in allowing other people to tell us what our worth is. However, we never should forget that it is ultimately the love we have for ourselves that is most important. This beautiful truth is illustrated in a new children's book called Little Love.

More about the book:

Join Little Love on her path to self-discovery where she meets Beauty and Fame, and learns the true value of her self-worth. Written for children, but with a timeless message for the child in all of us, Little Love reaffirms the importance of self-acceptance in life's journey toward love, joy, and friendship.

Rose Stanek is an award winning graphic designer, interior designer, and now children's book author who is actually a full-time Amazonian (she works for Amazon). She is the mother of two cowcats, Monty and Tyson, and calls the Pacific Northwest home. She loves creative storytelling, and empowering others to live their dreams.

To find Rose's book, click here: https://amzn.to/2PEGyKu

See her website here: https://rosestanek.com

118: The Power of Intentional Discomfort with TEDx Speaker Em Capito, LCSW Oct 22, 2019

Show notes

Have you ever experienced something difficult or traumatic? If you're listening to this, the answer is probably yes. I believe that a huge part of happiness is the skillset we have built up that enables us to bounce back from the difficult things that happen to us. A few weeks ago, I went to the TEDxSLC event and saw Em Capito speak about what she calls "resiliency field trips." These are adventurous experiences that encourage us to get out of our comfort zone and do something intentional to challenge ourselves. It includes curiosity, fun and adventure. As a psychotherapist, Em has been helping people to have these experiences and has found that with those who have done them, a sharp decline in fear occurs. In order to qualify as a resiliency field trip, it has to have the following:

1. New - when we introduce novelty, our brain will be more likely to remember it. This is why travel is often so memorable.

2. Slightly scary - Step out of your comfort zone to push the limits of what you currently believe you are capable of.

3. Intentional - This must be something you value or something that excites you.

Intentional discomfort is important to engage in if we want to overcome anxiety or make progress toward goals that we deeply value, but we are afraid to accomplish.

In this interview we talk about why it is so hard to get outside of our comfort zone and why it is so important.

More about Em Capito:

Em Capito is an unconventional psychotherapist obsessed with the widespread loss of resilience in the face of overwhelming comfort. While studying her own trauma from the inside out, Em embarked on a series of experiments that led to a prescription of intentional discomfort. Em blends these experiential interventions with meditation and yoga therapy to build the holistic mind-body resilience that carries us through our darkest moments. She completed a master’s degree in social work at the University of Utah in 2007 and a masters in business administration at the University of Phoenix in 2011. Em is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a certified LifePower yoga teacher, and a Dharma Method meditation teacher with a private practice in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Find and follow Em here:

https://emcapito.com/

https://www.instagram.com/emcapito/

https://emcapito.com/fridays

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