Mom and Mind | Pregnancy and Postpartum Depression & Anxiety

Latest Episodes:

166: You're the Strongest People I Know Dec 23, 2019

Show notes

As we close out the year, I’m reflecting on my work over the past years. I’m struck by how incredibly strong you all are, and I mean every person who’s endured a perinatal mental health condition. Perinatal mental conditions are very difficult to encounter, and many people navigate their way through these experiences without any help at all.

Show Highlights:

Going through pregnancy or taking care of a newborn while experiencing a mental health condition is tough, much more so when you have to take care of the other elements of life
Loneliness and confusion come with the suffering
Worry about other children, finances, and jobs adds to the pressure
There are incredible amounts of strength and resilience from people who keep fighting
Just getting the sleep you need and getting the right medications can bring amazing hope and relief
When the mind relaxes into a new sense of self, then the body relaxes, too
It’s worth celebrating when you realize you don’t have to suffer for the rest of your life
If you’ve experienced a perinatal mental health condition or a loss, I see you and honor you and respect you
Moments of sadness are normal and dehumanizing, but you deserve compassion
You are not alone
There are many trained professionals who know how to help, so find them and take advantage of the available resources

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165: Encore! Holiday Self-Care and Stress Reduction Nov 25, 2019

Show notes

Do you find the holidays stressful? We would all have to say YES if we’re completely honest. For a pregnant mom, a postpartum mom, or a mom experiencing loss, the holiday obligations can be overwhelming in magnified ways. In today’s solo episode, we will discuss how to survive the holidays and manage stress by setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care.

Show Highlights:

The holidays: a mix of lovely things and difficult moments with the unseen pressure of motherhood to take care of everyone
Boundaries are not easy, and sometimes confusing, but necessary
Set boundaries around family, friends, spending, activities, and the time you spend with others
Don’t be afraid to communicate what your needs are
In spending time at someone’s house, have a set time limit or some kind of communication with your partner to signal when it’s time to go
To figure out where you need boundaries, ask yourself, “What brings me stress? What do I find difficult?”
Why we feel guilty for setting boundaries
How anger and resentment toward others will develop when we don’t set boundaries
How pushback from someone else can signal the need for boundaries
It’s OK when you need a time-out from the tension of social situations
Important skills include knowing when to say NO and when to say YES
Why you shouldn’t feel obligated to do things that aren’t good choices for you
Allow flexibility and compassion in considering your needs
How saying YES and NO protects against resentment building up in relationships
Ask yourself what you need when you feel anger, guilt, anxiety, and sadness
If sleep and self-care are not on your holiday list, then you will feel depleted
Sleep is essential for health and restoration, but especially for pregnant moms, postpartum moms, and moms with loss
Give yourself permission NOT to do everything
Steps to take to manage stress:
Think about times in the past when you’ve ignored your own needs
Figure out where you can make adjustments
Find places where you can say YES and set limits
Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty
Why your new holiday regimen should be ways to manage stress, keep your energy level, and feel like yourself
What feels restorative, whole, and good to you?
Set intentions for baths, yoga, solitary walks, connection time with a friend, alone time, or time with your partner

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164: Acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine for Reproductive Health Nov 11, 2019

Show notes

We’re diving deep into acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicine. We’re talking specifically about how these treatments can be used in support of people dealing with reproductive health issues and mental health conditions.

Abigail Morgan is a mother of two, a licensed acupuncturist and herbalist, and a writer. She is board certified by the state of CA in traditional Chinese medicine and has an additional board certification from the American Board of Oriental Reproductive Medicine (ABORM). She is the owner of FLOAT Chinese Medical Arts in Glendale, CA, an integrative private practice that focuses on reproductive health for all genders and all aspects of the childbearing cycle. Abigail is a passionate advocate for choices in childbirth, and she’s been helping families get pregnant, stay pregnant, and thrive as parents since 2006. She is currently writing a memoir about her experience with postpartum anxiety and her remarkable recovery from it. She’s partnered with a nutritionist to create a new podcast. In today’s episode, we discuss how acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicine help with stress during pregnancy and the postpartum. There is a lot of information here for us to learn about these ways to promote healing.

Show Highlights:

Abigail’s work with clients in the childbearing cycle and all aspects of reproductive health
How Abigail works in conjunction with many therapists about perinatal mental health
Why stress, anxiety, depression, and insomnia are common issues with Abigail’s clients
What acupuncture is and how it works
Common misperceptions about acupuncture and the needles used
Benefits of acupuncture: regulates the nervous system, increases blood flow, and reduces blood pressure
An interesting study from Georgetown in 2013 about how acupuncture works on a molecular level
How we give and receive energy (qi) in our bodies
How acupuncture specifically helps with nausea during pregnancy
Why the common contributors to anxiety are exhaustion, poor nutrition, headaches, insomnia, and pain
The importance of self-care
How traditional Chinese medicine helps integrate the mind-body connection
How Abigail does empathetic listening with her clients
The supports that Abigail offers her clients for the early postpartum period
Emotional and physical changes that happen in the early postpartum period
How Abigail refers clients out to others who can help them
Herbal medicines that nourish the blood and body
Why isolation is the #1 risk factor for postpartum anxiety and depression
How to find a licensed acupuncturist (visit A.B.O.R.M.)
The podcast that Abigail co-hosts with nutritionist Gloria Williamson, “A Nutritionist and Acupuncturist Walk Into a Bar”

Resources:

Float Chinese Medical Arts

Instagram: Mama Float

Facebook: Float Chinese Medical Arts

Podcast: Instagram: Nutrition Acu Podcast

A.B.O.R.M.

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163: "Dear Scarlet: The Story of My Postpartum Depression" Oct 28, 2019

Show notes

Today’s show is a personal story of the darkness of postpartum depression and the healing that comes through professional help, self-awareness, and gentleness. The best part of my guest’s experience is the passion she’s gained for helping other moms reach through the darkness to the other side of hope and healing.

Teresa Wong is a Canadian writer who has written the graphic memoir, Dear Scarlet: The Story of My Postpartum Depression, which was released last Spring. The book has already had a positive impact on the world and has been featured on NPR and Buzzfeed, as well as in the Paris Review and the NY Times. If you have experienced a perinatal mood and anxiety disorders or any complications related to pregnancy or postpartum, there is something in this graphic memoir that relates to your story. It also shows how culture plays a part in our experience. Through Teresa’s pain, there are beautiful parts interwoven into this story and her healing journey.

Show Highlights:

How the idea came to Teresa for writing Dear Scarlet when she was pregnant with her third child and needed closure for her postpartum depression experience
Why Teresa decided to make it a graphic memoir with pictures
Why it was important to Teresa to keep the book short and readable for moms who need to read it
How Teresa handled the sketches and drawings for her book
How Teresa sought help for postpartum depression when she knew things weren’t right
The feelings of guilt, shame, and regret that Teresa experienced
The major hemorrhage at Scarlet’s complicated
Why Teresa didn’t know what was normal with the birth of Scarlet, her first baby
How Teresa’s mom came to help when she got home after Scarlet’s birth, which is part of the Chinese culture
How Teresa was diagnosed with postpartum depression at about six weeks and sought additional help from a psychiatrist for about nine months
How Teresa hoped and prepared for a better experience with her second pregnancy by having a doula
After her second child was born, Teresa went through postpartum depression again at about eight months
Why Teresa was disappointed in herself because she had taken preventative measures, but she knows how to get help when she needed it
Why Teresa did cognitive behavioral therapy instead of medication for the second time and then had no postpartum issues with her third pregnancy
How Teresa’s healing journey has helped her in other ways, like being aware of her feelings and knowing how to handle them
The positive reactions from readers of Teresa’s book
Teresa’s hopeful messages: “Be gentle with yourself and talk to yourself like you would to a good friend whom you love. These feelings are normal, but you need to get help. You don’t have to live with postpartum depression and muddle through. Ask for help.

Resources:

By Teresa Wong

Instagram: By Teresa Wong

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162: Pregnancy After Loss Support Oct 14, 2019

Show notes

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we are trying to honor each and every one of those losses. Each one has brought significant pain to many people, including grief that is most difficult to acknowledge and navigate. Today’s show focuses on one such loss that has led to the creation of a specific kind of support for thousands.

Lindsey Henke is the founder and Executive Director of Pregnancy After Loss Support. She is a clinical social worker specializing as a reproductive mental health therapist with a focus on the grief and trauma that happens after a perinatal loss and the pregnancy that follows. She is also a writer, wife, and, most importantly, a mother to two beautiful daughters and one sweet boy. Tragically, her oldest daughter, Nora, was stillborn after a healthy full-term pregnancy in December 2012. Lindsey’s second daughter, Zoe, was born healthy and alive in March of 2014. Her writing about life after loss has been featured in Listen to Your Mother, Scary Mommy, Healthline, and The New York Times. Lindsey has had the honor of speaking all over the world on the topic of pregnancy after a previous perinatal loss, including at the 2020 Moms’ Maternal Mental Health Forum 2015, Pregnancy and Infant Death Alliance 2016 Conference, Postpartum Support International 2019 Conference, The 2019 Stillbirth Summit, and at The International Women’s Maternal Mental Health 2019 Conference in Paris. She is currently working on her first book.

Show Highlights:

How and why Lindsey started Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS), an online support organization for the birth person who is experiencing pregnancy after loss
How Lindsey had a stillborn daughter in 2012 after a full-term pregnancy---a devastating and heartbreaking experience
How she relied on writing and psychotherapy to help her heal
Lindsey’s second pregnancy with her daughter, Zoe, and how she made weekly posts as a blogger
Lindsey found that there wasn’t a support space for those experiencing pregnancy after loss
How the PALS group was formed and then blossomed into 15 groups for thousands of members
How Lindsey digests the research in the field of pregnancy loss to meet the specific needs and wants of the community
What’s unique about the experience of pregnancy after loss
The insensitive comments that people make during a pregnancy after loss experience
The amount of fear and anxiety that occur in pregnancy after loss
The balance of grief, fear, and stress, along with joy and hope
Knowing when the “expected anxiety” crosses over into the need to seek professional help
Invalidating messages that may come from healthcare providers and family members
The dance between choosing hope and holding onto fear
The circles of grief and how we need to seek support
The prevalence of postpartum depression and anxiety in subsequent pregnancies
How friends and family can be supportive in validating the experience of the mother
Why you should think about what you say and how you say it to someone who has had a pregnancy loss
Other steps that family, friends, and healthcare providers can do to give additional support to moms with pregnancy after loss

Resources:

Pregnancy After Loss Support

Facebook: Pregnancy After Loss Support

Instagram

Facebook: LindseyMHenke

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161: Postpartum Depression and Anxiety, Twice Sep 30, 2019

Show notes

Today’s show is another moving, personal story of the journey from pain to healing, and all that happens in the middle. My guest tells the story of how cultural challenges added yet another layer of complexity to her postpartum depression and anxiety experience.

Esmeralda Cardenas is a bilingual Licensed Professional Counselor in San Antonio, Texas. She is the owner and provider at Pillars of Life Counseling. Besides being a mental health provider, Esmeralda is a wife and mother of two sons, ages 6 and 8, with both pregnancies bringing her postpartum depression and anxiety. After working with children in different settings for many years, Esmeralda became an advocate and provider for parents experiencing perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. She realized that she needed to own her story and overcome the many fears that came with it. Taking this step has allowed Esmeralda to serve moms and dads in her community with an effort to decrease stigma and help parents know that they are not alone.

Show Highlights:

The issues Esmeralda faced as an undocumented immigrant from Veracruz, Mexico
Her first pregnancy, with no complications until the C-section delivery
How Esmeralda was triggered with anxiety, pressure, and judgment from others because of the cultural stigma attached to not having a “natural birth”
The symptoms of anxiety and depression, along with the guilt and shame
How the pressures of new motherhood and a therapy practice led to Esmeralda’s struggles with rage and intrusive thoughts
Why Esmeralda was terrified to let anyone know how she really felt
How she finally shared with her husband what was really going on with her
With her second pregnancy, two years later, she was much more anxious, but going back to work helped with the depression
How the feelings piled up on Esmeralda
How Esmeralda dug deeper into grace in owning and sharing her story---and redefined herself
The challenges of being a working mom AND a stay-at-home mom
Esmeralda’s advice for other moms
The evolution we go through to become a happier parent in a better place
Why there is hope for everyone, and no mom is ever as alone as she might feel

Resources:

Pillars Of Life Counseling

Instagram: polcounseling

Facebook: Pillars of Life Counseling

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160: Healing from Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety Sep 16, 2019

Show notes

Today’s show is a personal story of postpartum anxiety and depression that led to a voluntary psychiatric hospital evaluation. My guest will share how she got to that point, along with the signs and symptoms that went unnoticed for a long time. We will also hear about her journey to healing and how she’s helping other moms now. I believe that hearing the details in others’ experiences can help us recognize these signs in ourselves and our loved ones.

Celeste Chapko lives with her husband and three children in Northwest Indiana. She is the founder of Childbirth Melodies (soon to be the Northwest Indiana Center for Maternal Wellness), offering individual and group peer support and music therapy to moms dealing with postpartum depression and other perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. Celeste is a survivor of severe postpartum depression and anxiety and is passionate about supporting moms on their journey to wellness. She is also a volunteer state coordinator, online peer support group leader, and Climb Out of the Darkness leader for Postpartum Support International.

Show Highlights:

Celeste’s journey with postpartum anxiety and depression: she noticed rage and anxiety at seven months into her third pregnancy, but after the birth, she convinced herself that nothing was really wrong with her
How intrusive thoughts convinced her that she needed help; her Ob prescribed Zoloft over the phone and Celeste began seeing a therapist
How Celeste went through panic attacks and just “wasn’t functioning well with life”
Why she called her husband one day to take her to the hospital’s psychiatric unit
After five days in the psych unit, she left with four medications and a referral to see a psychiatrist
The signs in Celeste’s first and second pregnancies that went unnoticed
The guilt and shame that mother feel, which lead to increased anxiety
Why Celeste refers to herself as “a recovering perfectionist”
How Celeste’s anxiety and rage manifested themselves in her pregnancy with excessive worry and obsessive thoughts
How Celeste knew she needed next-level care in the psych hospital
The feelings of hopelessness with nowhere to turn
The need for more perinatal psych units for moms
How Celeste came into the work she does today on “the other side”
How Celeste is more laid back, compassionate, and understanding to herself and others
The potential for positive change with the right help and support
How Celeste’s experience has changed how she is raising her children to know how to take care of themselves
Celeste’s professional journey: music therapist, special education teacher, doula for music-assisted childbirth, and peer support group leader
Celeste’s program, The SHARE Journey (Support, Hope, Assessment, Referral, and Education) and how it helps moms with peer support
Celeste’s work with her Northwest Indiana Center for Maternal Wellness
The difficult task of getting people connected to the resources they need

Resources:

Childbirth Melodies

Facebook: Childbirth Melodies

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159: "The Bridesmaid's Daughter" Sep 02, 2019

Show notes

Today’s show is an interesting look into how postpartum issues were dealt with, or not dealt with, in the past. We are looking from the perspective of a daughter who has been on a quest to discover the truth about her birth, her unusual childhood, and her mother’s illness.

Nyna Giles is the author of The Bridesmaid’s Daughter, a deeply personal memoir about family, mental health, and revisiting the past. We’ll hear her perspective about growing up with a mother who had mental illness, and how she now knows that her mother had untreated postpartum psychosis. Back then, there was not much knowledge or support for mothers going through any perinatal crisis. We get to hear from Nyna’s perspective what it was like to grow up in that environment and what she reflected on as an adult that she shares through writing The Bridesmaid’s Daughter. Nyna is the youngest daughter of Carolyn Scott Reybold, a Ford model best known as one of Grace Kelly’s bridesmaids. Nyna has worked with leading media organizations and is the COO of Giles Communications. She’s an advocate for the mentally ill, traveling the globe to share her story, revealing the challenges brought on by her mother’s untreated mental illness and her own lost childhood and education. Nyna is a board member of NAMI Westchester and serves on the NAMI New York State Legislative Committee. She is also a volunteer with Postpartum Resource Center of NY. She lives in Westchester with her husband and has three children and three stepchildren.

Show Highlights:

How the book tells the story of Nyna’s mother’s untreated mental illness
A summary of her mother’s glamorous life as a successful model in the 1940’s and 1950’s and best friend to Grace Kelly
How her mother married, built a dream house on Long Island, and gave up her career to become a full-time mother to Nyna’s two older sisters
How Nyna’s birth was traumatic because she was almost 11 lbs.! Her mother had to have her third C-section and a hysterectomy
How Nyna’s father had an affair while she was an infant, and her mother had no family close by and no support
Why Nyna had a lack of formal education, no friendships, and was trapped with her mother in a cycle of dysfunction
The only diagnosis her mother ever received was paranoid schizophrenia in her 50’s
How the change was evident in Nyna’s mom in pictures before and after Nyna’s birth
As a child, Nyna never felt connected to or safe with her mom---even though she was with her all the time
Nyna’s social anxiety as a teenager, and why she left home at age 14
Why mental illness was a topic that no one talked about back then
Now Nyna’s father started staying away from home because he didn’t want to deal with his wife and her mental illness
How Nyna’s mom gave away all her money and became homeless
Why Nyna has to balance and limit the pain she feels from the past
Nyna’s transition to motherhood with her three children
Why Nyna felt compelled to get her school records
What Nyna learned through her discovery in understanding her birth and what really happened to her mother
The revelation Nyna learned about the sexual abuse of her mother by her stepfather
How we can each help with mental health by engaging in real conversations

Resources Mentioned:

Find out more about the book and Nyna: The Bridesmaid's Daughter

Facebook: Nyna Giles Author

Twitter: Nyna Giles

Instagram: Nyna Giles Author

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158: Jen's Story through Postpartum Depression, Postpartum Anxiety, and Rage Aug 19, 2019

Show notes

One aspect of postpartum depression and anxiety that doesn’t get much attention is the rage that comes along with these issues. People who experience this rage can feel overwhelmed and confused, and it can be a scary scenario. Today’s guest shares her story of how she came through postpartum depression, anxiety, and rage, and how she uses her healing process to help other moms today.

Jen Gaskell is a quality professional who works full-time outside the home. She and her husband live near Milwaukee with their two daughters, ages 8 and 11. Jen used her writing and her blog to help navigate her journey through postpartum depression and anxiety. She was a former co-producer of Listen To Your Mother Milwaukee, where she was part of the inaugural Milwaukee cast telling her story of PPD. Jen has written for Postpartum Progress and was a member of their editorial team for three years. Jen was a Climb Out of the Darkness team leader for Milwaukee for four years. She helps lead a Facebook group of local moms who’ve been through postpartum mood disorders and recently became a PSI helpline volunteer.

Show Highlights:

How Jen struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety following the birth of her youngest child
When she didn’t know who or where to turn to, she turned to Google to research her symptoms
How she knew she needed to see someone but was afraid of having her kids taken away
How Jen found a therapist and was able to get help quickly
The signs in the beginning that told Jen that something was wrong
The pressure Jen put on herself because of gestational diabetes and the details of managing the risks
How her anxiety turned to irritability during her pregnancy and then spiraled into rage in the postpartum
The feelings of irritability and rage that Jen noticed
The key indicators that something was wrong
How Jen learned about her triggers and when to take a break
The guilt Jen felt for needing a break from her kids
The internal pressure to be “on top of things” all the time
How Jen learned to cope, especially journaling and learning to give herself grace
How hard struggling moms work not to let others know the truth of how they feel
How Jen became comfortable in sharing her story to help others
The importance of normalizing the therapy process and the steps to get better
Jen’s hopeful message to other moms: “It’s not you. Those negative thoughts are not who you are. There is so much support available, so reach out. This is a common condition, and it’s treatable. It won’t be like this forever.”

Resources:

Tranquila Mama

Twitter and Instagram: @jenrenpody

Facebook: Tranquila Mama Blog

Listen To Your Mother on YouTube

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157: Postpartum Psychosis, Changing the Law, Advocating for Women Aug 05, 2019

Show notes

Today’s show is a fascinating discussion about the law and postpartum psychosis. My guests helped usher a new law through the Illinois legislature, and the bill became law in January 2018. It’s the first criminal law in the nation to recognize the effects of postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis, so we’re digging into what it took to get the legislation passed and what steps you can take to get the law changed in your state.

Dr. Susan Feingold is a licensed clinical psychologist, perinatal legal advocate, and author. She’s a member of the President’s Advisory Council and Postpartum Psychosis Task Force for Postpartum Support International. Susan wrote Happy Endings, New Beginnings: Navigating Postpartum Disorders, and has specialized for over 26 years in women’s mental health issues related to reproduction. She’s an advocate and expert witness involved in legislative efforts for women with postpartum depression on the state and national level and served as the President of the Board of Trustees for Depression After Delivery, Inc. Along with Barry Lewis, Susan won the 2018 Maternal Mental Health Innovation Award in Policy and Advocacy; she also won the 2016 Distinguished Alumni Award for her work in perinatal issues and women’s mental health.

Barry Lewis is a litigation attorney with over 44 years in the private practice of law, primarily in the area of criminal law. He’s the past chair of the Chicago Bar Association Lawyer Referral Committee, winner of an award from Chicago Volunteer Legal Services, and has been a continuing legal education lecturer. His most recent published work was in The Champion, the magazine of the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers, and was titled A New Model of Law Offers Hope: Postpartum Disorders and the Law. Barry and Susan have a book coming in January 2020: Advocating for Women with Mental Illness: Changing the Law and Transforming the National Climate. The book covers why the law needs to be changed and the steps we can take to make it happen!

Show Highlights:

Why Susan and Barry are busy working on their new book due out in January
One purpose of the book is to motivate others to help change laws in their states
How a small group of people was able to make a change in the Illinois law
How the change process began with two incarcerated women in Illinois who were serving 30-year and 33-year prison sentences
How the new law recognizes postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis as mitigating factors in sentencing when women commit crimes while suffering
The long process in getting legislation passed
The typical charges in infanticide or postpartum psychosis/depression cases and the shortcomings of the law in dealing with them
The difficulty for defense attorneys in making an insanity plea
The arbitrary aspect of sentencing from state to state and case to case because there are not sufficient laws
The magnitude of women who could be supported and helped with new, sweeping legislation
The steps that need to be taken in treatment and sentencing for incarcerated women suffering from postpartum depression/psychosis
Why these women benefit from being declared unfit for trial
What people can do to start the change process in other states:
Find the legislation schedule
Look for a sponsor in the House or Senate
Take an advocate training session
How infanticide laws differ in England, Scotland, and Wales
The important first step: eliminate mandatory minimum sentences
Why unique conditions call for unique laws
How the new Illinois law has opened the door for other legislation
The development model to follow in dealing with these issues inhumane ways:
Identify the problem
Write the law clearly
Document the need for new laws
Attract a sponsor
Convince legislators to act
Examples of appropriate sentencing

Resources:

Websites: Dr. Susan Feingold and Barry Lewis Law

Email: susanbf@sbcglobal.net and blewislaw@att.net

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