Millennial: Pretend Adulting, Real Talk

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**Millennial: Pretend Adulting, Real Talk**

Millennial podcast is a weekly roundtable about our Generation Y experience. From news to politics and pop culture, a panel of friends digs in on why these stories matter and how they affect millennials. If you’ve ever wondered how to maneuver student loan debt, voting, relationships, careers, or just life in general, we feel that SO. HARD. And we’re here to share our stories, along with our greatest challenges and wins, along the way. Millennial podcast is about journeying through young adulthood together.

Latest Episodes:

Episode #4x06: I Love You Feb 13, 2018

Show notes

Time for a feel trip. We wish Matt the worst of luck, and hope he falls flat on his face.
"LOOK AT ME. I'M THE POACHER NOW." -Lions
Omarosa returns to her reality television roots and immediately starts dropping bombs and freaking us the fuck out.
We have the best health care in the world, they said. You'll be fine, they said. Health insurance company Aetna gets caught with their pants down.
Vote with your wallet. Drink Dunkin'.
The Confessional celebrates the freedom to refuse being labeled or boxed into a single identity.
We discuss the true meaning of capitalism I MEAN LOVE in a special Valentine's Day segment.

In this installment of After Dark.

Would you rather have to suck on your boyfriend's dirty, sweaty toes, or lick a friend's clean and pristine vagina?
Would You Rather: Valentine's Day Edition gets gross.
We learn even more about each others' butts.
Andrew tries to corner the girls. The girls have none of it.

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Episode #4x05: Lady Doritos Feb 06, 2018

Show notes

The Eagles win the Superbowl and MLK rolls over in his grave.
Memo Schmemo. Who needs the FBI anyway?! Lolz
Stop trying to make the Olympics happen. They're not going to happen.
The Larry Nassar case gets heated and the #MeToo movement proves itself tragically relevant.
Susan B. Anthony's dream is realized with the introduction of Lady Doritos: for the sexy snacker in every woman.
Hidden from the Headlines examines how the Environmental Protection Agency is failing to protect the environment. Also you.
The BEST PRESIDENT, LIKE, EVERRRRRR gets a Twitter makeover with our Valley Girl series.

And in this week's After Dark:

If you see my butthole, I should get to see yours. #relationships101.
Plans go off the rails as Andrew regales us with tales from his sex life.
We try to be normal and answer some listener questions

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Episode #4x04: nOprah Feb 01, 2018

Show notes

Andrew recalls a horrific dream he had recently. ~What does it mean??~
We share our thoughts on Trump's SOTU.. the parts we watched, anyway.
Oprah has announced she's not running for President. That's a big win for the Dems.
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of this Damn Series. What the hell is going on with David Yates' latest comments?
Mark Salling is dead of an apparent suicide, and some people seem happy about it. Sorrynotsorry that some of us feel sympathy for his family and tragic life.
GET. VACCINATED. Flu season is really bad this year.
Surprise, Hosts! Our latest Surprise, Bitch victim is a Republican. We talk about what it's like to be a conservative and listener to a liberal podcast.
The Number: Sleep and Facebook Editions.
Our first sponsor of the year has done wonders for Andrew's and Laura's faces: Visit BioClarity.com and use code 'MIL' to get their 30-day skincare regime for $9.95, including free shipping!

This week in After Dark:

Bad Neighbors, Part 2. Matt and Andrew tell Laura how to deal with her shitty upstairs neighbor.
We read horror stories from listeners. They involve cannons, nudity, and brooms.

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#4x03: Step At A Time Jan 23, 2018

Show notes

-The government shitdown unfolds as we speak, and we all pray that pinky promises are legally binding.

-An Irish woman finds love in the arms of her new husband: the 300 year old ghost of a Haitian pirate. WTF News is back!

-#FakeNews NASA says our solar system contains a mysterious 9th planet... that we just haven't found yet. In related news, science determines all reality is a sham.

-Pennsylvania's Supreme Court made big waves when it struck down gerrymandering this week, prompting many in the Republican Party to comment, "Fuck."

-Women descend on the nation in droves demanding crazy feminazi shit like "equal pay" and "reproductive freedom."

-Trump assumes his final form as a Reddit comment troll.

-China's new, freakishly efficient air purifier might be the answer to our ailing air quality. Also, trees.

-USE A PHONE.

-The Confessional pedals conspiracy theories, and Surprise, Bitch! surprises absolutely no one.

In this week's After Dark:

-Bad neighbors. We've all had them, and right now, Andrew is seething over his. He shares his latest horror stories and we empathize.

-"Hi, can I show you how best to close a door?" Fuck off you lying shitburger.

-We plot revenge.

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Episode #4x02: Mountains, Gandalf Jan 16, 2018

Show notes

-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream, and we are it. Let's act like it.

-MOUNTAINS, GANDALF!!! takes on a decidedly different meaning.

-President Trump refers to particular, mostly people of color-populated countries as "shitholes," and the veneer of "this isn't about race" washes straight off.

-YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE. HUG YOUR CAT. HIDE YOUR KIDS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

-Apple users have something useful to celebrate for the first time since that Coldplay ad stopped airing.

-New Years resolution: getting Facebook to give a fuck about propaganda.

-Surprise, bitch! takes us to Germany and the Midwest. We ask how they like their dirty talk.

And in today's After Dark:

-Andrew gets gross on us. Again. #RegularDick

-The Tide Pod challenge has us reliving our dumbest moments and revealing our worst life choices in a game of 2 Truths 1 Lie.

-BREAKING NEWS FOR THE HP FANDOM. We learn who was behind the infamous Acid Quill, and who was responsible for outing Andrew.

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Episode #4x01: Nurse Maura Jan 09, 2018

Show notes

Welcome back! It's officially season 4. Time to jump the shark and disintegrate into a heap of failure.
Highlights from our break include a Rated R coffee mug, a tropical trip from hell, and an acute injury to one of our boyfriends. Merry Christmas.
New Year, New Laws: we take a look at some of this weird, but mostly pretty cool, state laws taking effect in 2018. (Suck it up, Oregon.)
YOU get a Super PAC! YOU get a Super PAC! YOU… can take a seat. Associate Producer's Choice asks us to dive into the Oprah for President trend.
Fire and Fury makes major waves as the retelling of an age-old story you might better know as, "The Emperor Has No Clothes." Surprise.
Why it's important to carefully support real, honest journalism right now, even if it means being critical of reporting you like.

And in season 4's first installment of After Dark:

Game: Guess what people got stuck up their assholes in 2017!
Literally. This isn't metaphor. There is an actual list of items people got caught in their hammies.
"You're still fat." New Years Resolutions suck. But we make them anyway.
Andrew becomes a motivational speaker.

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Episode #3x47: The Good Things in 2017 Dec 19, 2017

Show notes

-Happy birthday to the heart and soul of this show, our dear Laura. Champion of the downtrodden. Warrior for the underrepresented. Purveyor of the sex. -We finally unwrap our Secret Santas and find out WTF is in Laura's giant box. -Surprise, bitch! takes us to Utah where we creep on a listener who was just creepin' on us. -Associate Producer's Choice asks us to dive into the debate happening now over microtransactions in video games, and whether they constitute gambling. -We look back on 2017 with horror and a little bit of sap.

In this year's final installment of After Dark: -SPOILER ALERT (no, seriously): Star Wars, The Last Jedi. -This film did one thing impressively well, then did all other things... not well. -How did we feel about the big reveals? Will they even stick?

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Episode #3x46: The Last Gay Cake Dec 12, 2017

Show notes

-The Force is strong with us as we get hyped THE FUCK UP for Star Wars: The Last Jedi. -Surprise, bitch! takes us to Florida, where grandparents and presidential campaigns go to die. -Transgender military recruits are shown the respect they deserve by our judicial system. -YOU get a cake! YOUUU get a cake! YOU -- maybe don't. -Facebook Messenger for Kidz: For the bad parent in all of us. -WTF News makes a comeback with some unsavory developments out of Canada. -Listener Feedback validates Andrew's nasty side.

And on this After Dark: -Fetishes 101, written and directed by Andrew NeedsHelpALot. -How women should embrace whatever sexuality they feel, and how the porn industry should embrace women. -A Confessional asks us to consider what we would do if our significant other wanted to buy a gun. And keep it in our house.

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Episode #3x45: A Merry Mueller Christmas Dec 05, 2017

Show notes

We kick off with a graphic update on our Thanksgiving sex lives. #blessed
Surprise again, bitch! welcomes back a sly motherfucker who somehow figured out how to con the system.
It's beginning to look a lot like a merry Mueller Christmas.
Royal wedding bells are a' ringing, and this time, there's interesting social ramifications.
SAT question 2017: Smallville is to ___, what Jonestown was to ____.
Rutgers University tells everyone to grow a spine because confronting racist family members actually works to reduce racism.
A game of Google that Shit has us wondering: how do you move a family in Skyrim?

And in this week's After Dark: - Two titans of delivery meals battle it out in this rendition of Hello Fresh v. Freshly - Tipping your delivery person: a necessity, and an evil. - We get personal about our food delivery habits, how new smartphone apps are helping or hindering those habits, and what services are worth the price tag.

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Episode #3x44: Surprise Nov 28, 2017

Show notes

We're back from break and recap our -- Thank God -- smooth Thanksgivings with the family. This discussion prompts some memories of our closeted pasts.
Dictionary.com reveals their Word of the Year, and it's a word that isn't in Trump's vocabulary.
It looks like we're about to lose Net Neutrality, and we can't understate how bad this is for the future of the internet. Here's some sample language that you can use when writing to the FCC via their website:
“I support the current Net Neutrality rules under Title II of the Communications Act of 1934. Net Neutrality is a core principal of the internet, which protects all of us by preventing ISPs from throttling service to benefit the highest bidder.”
There's been a terrible attack in Egypt. Also terrible: The latest man accused of sexual misconduct towards women.
A couple of our top Patrons want help with their careers. Where do they go from here when their jobs suck?
In The Confessional, another listener comes out as a conservative! :O
This week, in After Dark: Thanksgiving is over, so it's time to celebrate Christmas! Andrew forces Matt and Laura -- two Grinches -- to listen to all types of Christmas music, from new tunes to weird classics. We debate the merits of a few songs and also scoff at a new Frozen single. Merry Christmas! ... From Andrew only.

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