Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin

Latest Episodes:

333 — You're Doing 'Delayed Gratification' Wrong. Here's What Actually Makes You Happier with Professor Ian Bogost Jul 13, 2026

Show notes

You've heard people say, "Good things come to those who wait." Most of us absorbed that lesson somewhere along the way — save the good stuff, delay the pleasure, wait until you've earned it. But my guest today says that idea backfires.

My guest is Ian Bogost, a contributing writer at The Atlantic and a professor at Washington University in St. Louis. His new book is The Small Stuff.

Some of the things we discuss are:

The three different types of contentment — and why we tend to overlook the most available one
What the famous marshmallow test actually got wrong about delayed gratification
Why saving the perfume, the outfit, or the "good china" for a special occasion might be backfiring
The one-step trick to noticing small pleasures without having to add anything new to your routine
Why gratification isn't the same as mindfulness — and why Ian has issues with how mindfulness gets sold to us
How modern life has quietly stripped away small sensory pleasures (Ian calls it "dematerialization")
Why you don't have to choose between being present and taking a picture — you can do both
How stacking tiny moments of gratification can build a buffer that makes hard days hurt less
The Therapist's Take: My top three strategies for finding more small pleasures starting today

Links & Resources

The Small Stuff

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332 — Should You Sit With Your Feelings or Change How You Feel? The One Question That Decides It Jul 10, 2026

Show notes

Have you ever been upset and had one person tell you to just sit with your feelings—while someone else insists you should snap out of it and take control? Which approach is right?

The answer is that it depends on the situation. In today's episode, I'll show you that the most important emotional strength skill is knowing which one the moment calls for.

Some of the things I talk about are:

Why "sit with it" and "change it" aren't actually contradictory—and the framework that ties them together.
Why an emotion isn't positive or negative on its own, and what actually determines whether it helps you or hurts you.
How the exact same anxiety can be your friend while you pay a stack of bills and your enemy on the way to the stage.
The surprising research on how a "good" emotion like excitement can push you into a decision you'd never make calmly.
The personal story of returning to work after losing my husband—and what grief taught me about when to feel a feeling and when to turn the volume down.
The three questions that tell you, in the moment, whether a feeling is your friend or your enemy (you only need to answer one).
What to actually do once you have your answer—and why changing a feeling isn't avoiding it, and sitting with one isn't weakness.

⁠308 — Pause. Pick. Play. The Formula for Getting Through Any Hard Moment⁠

⁠306 — You Don't Need to Feel Strong to Be Strong⁠

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331 - Why You Can't Stop Overthinking — and the 30-Second Trick That Interrupts the Spiral with Science Journalist Donna Jackson Nakazawa Jul 06, 2026

Show notes

Have you ever spent hours replaying a conversation in your head that didn't go well? Maybe you said something you wish you hadn't. Maybe someone made a comment you can't stop thinking about.

But the more you think about it, the worse you feel — and you can't seem to stop. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone.

My guest is Donna Jackson Nakazawa, an award-winning science journalist and author of nine books. Her new book is Mind Drama and she has uncovered some surprising strategies that can help you stop overthinking.

Some of the things we discuss are:

What's actually happening in your brain when you can't stop replaying something — and what showed up on Donna's own brain scan
Why "just think about it a little more" is a lie your brain tells you (and the part of your brain that's terrible at solving problems is the one running the show)
Why we're all overthinking more than we used to — and the perfect storm making it worse
How a single anxious thought sends a stress signal all the way down to the energy centers of your cells
The MIST framework — a step-by-step way to decode the pattern behind whatever you keep replaying
The "ballistic interrupter" — a neuroscience-backed trick that stops the spiral by changing one small thing about how you talk to yourself
Quick physical moves that signal safety to your brain and break the loop fast
The Therapist's Take: My top three strategies for breaking out of an overthinking loop starting today

Links & Resources

Mind Drama

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330 — The Real Reason Your Coping Skills Aren't Helping (It's Not You) Jul 03, 2026

Show notes

Want more plays to help you stay mentally strong? Pick up a copy of ⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠.

Have you ever tried a mental strength strategy that everyone swears by, and it didn't work for you? Maybe you tried to meditate in the middle of a panic attack and felt worse, or started a gratitude journal while your life was falling apart and just ended up feeling guilty about your list.

The same coping skills that saves you in one moment can backfire in another. Fortunately, you can sharpen your ability to reach for the right coping skill at the right time once you know how.

Some of the things I talk about are:

Why the strategy that "doesn't work for you" might just be the right tool used at the wrong time.
The friend whose gratitude journal, packed weekend schedule, and constant busyness looked like strength from the outside—but were actually keeping her stuck.
How three plays we talk about all the time on this show can backfire, and the exact moments when each one turns from helpful to harmful.
Why "What's the best mental health technique?" is the wrong question—and the better one to ask instead.
How to run the same problem through your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions so you always have more than one way in.
The three-step Pause, Pick, Play process for choosing the right play in the moment—even when your usual go-to isn't working.

308 — Pause. Pick. Play. The Formula for Getting Through Any Hard Moment

306 — You Don't Need to Feel Strong to Be Strong

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329 — How to Stop Beating Yourself Up for How You Feel With Psychotherapist Daniel Smith Jun 29, 2026

Show notes

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I should be over this by now"? Maybe an old fear or insecurity shows up, and instead of just feeling it, you feel bad about feeling that way.

Most of us were taught that hard feelings — shame, envy, anger, boredom — are problems to be solved or character flaws to fix. And when they don't go away, we pile on a second layer of distress. But my guest today says that's exactly where we go wrong. The goal isn't to get rid of hard feelings. It's to get more curious about them.

My guest is Daniel Smith, a writer turned therapist whose new book is called Hard Feelings.

Some of the things we discuss are:

Why hard feelings aren't problems to solve — and what happens when you stop trying to optimize them away
Why shame is the master uncomfortable emotion, and how it often gets passed down through families in silence
The trap of asking "why do I feel this way?" — and the better question that actually helps
Why decades of personal work doesn't make old anxieties disappear
The hidden cost of the positivity industry — and how well-meaning advice can become unintentionally shaming
What boredom, envy, and even anger are trying to teach you if you're willing to listen
The difference between sitting with a feeling and needing to shift one — and how to know which moment calls for which
The Therapist's Take: My top three strategies for getting curious about hard feelings starting today

224 - 8 Myths About Feelings That Can Sabotage Your Emotional Intelligence

⁠148 — How to Take Charge of Your Feelings

Links & Resources

Hard Feelings

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328 — The Best Way to Solve a Problem When You Feel Hopeless: Brainstorm the Worst Ideas First Jun 26, 2026

Show notes

Want more plays to help you stay mentally strong? Pick up a copy of The Mental Strength Playbook.

Have you ever felt stuck trying to solve a problem? Maybe you're trying to figure out how to attract more customers, smooth things over with someone you love, or finally dig out of debt—but you just can't figure out what to do?

Well, sometimes pushing harder for an answer in the same direction is exactly what's keeping you stuck. And that's why brainstorming the worst ideas might be the key to getting unstuck.

Some of the things I talk about are:

The online jewelry store I built knowing nothing about jewelry—and the backwards question that finally cracked my customer problem.
Why trying harder to find a good idea often keeps you stuck, and what to do instead.
The exact reversal I use with therapy clients who say "I've tried everything and nothing works."
Why this play makes group brainstorms come alive—and finally gets the quiet people to speak up.
The real reason asking "how do I make this worse?" knocks your brain out of its stuck loop.
The five simple steps to turn a list of terrible ideas into a blueprint for what to actually do next.
When to run this play—from a business decision to a standoff at home to a meeting you're leading.

31 — Friday Fix: These 5 STEPS Will Sharpen Your Problem-Solving Skills to Get Through Challenges with Ease

316 — How Talking to a Rubber Duck Will Solve Any Problem Fast (And Why Thinking Harder Fire Backfires)

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327 — Why You Can't Make Up Your Mind (and How to Finally Decide) with Bestselling Author Simone Stolzoff Jun 22, 2026

Show notes

Think about the last time you couldn't make up your mind about a big decision. Maybe you made a pro-and-con list, read every review, and talked it through with other people — and still couldn't decide.

We tell ourselves that just a little more information will finally bring the certainty we need to choose. But my guest today says more research can fuel your anxiety and the certainty we're chasing doesn't actually exist. If you're indecisive, you overthink every choice, or you freeze up for fear of making the wrong decision, this episode is for you.

My guest is Simone Stolzoff, a journalist and the author of The Good Enough Job. His new book, How to Not Know, is all about making hard decisions and learning to tolerate uncertainty.

In this episode on decision-making and uncertainty, we discuss:

Why our tolerance for uncertainty is shrinking at the exact moment the world is becoming more uncertain
The two surprising ways people dodge hard decisions — and why impulsive decision-makers may be just as avoidant as obsessive researchers
The study that showed we'd rather face a guaranteed painful event than sit with the uncertainty of one
Why the best leaders aren't "know-it-alls" but "learn-it-alls"
The Only Option Test — a fast way to break a stuck decision when both choices look equally good
The Chinese farmer parable, and why "maybe yes, maybe no" is one of the most freeing things you can tell yourself
The line from an oncology doctor that can change how you face anything uncertain in your future
The Therapist's Take: my top three strategies for making decisions and living with uncertainty, starting today

Links & Resources

How to Not Know

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326 — The Fastest Way to Feel Better When Everything's Going Wrong (It's Not Self-Care) Jun 19, 2026

Show notes

Want more mental strength plays? Pick up a copy of ⁠⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠⁠.

Have you ever had one of those days—or one of those weeks—where everything seems to be going wrong, and no matter what you try, you just feel discouraged?

Fortunately, there's a play you can run when you don't know what to do. And on the surface, it seems a little backward.

In today's episode, I'm sharing a play that sounds completely backward. But it's one of the best ways to get out of your head and prove to yourself that you have some power, even during your worst days.

Some of the things I talk about are:

The week before my book launch when everything fell apart at once—and the unexpected errand that turned out to be the best use of my afternoon.
Why "self-care" can actually keep you stuck, and the shift from self-care to other-care that does the opposite.
The body chemistry behind kindness—what it does to your hormones.
The science behind why this play is so effective.
The three simple steps to throwing a good vibes boomerang (and why speed matters more than size).
The one thing to do after that teaches your brain to reach for this play again.
Two ways this play can backfire—including the well-meaning move that can get misread at work.
How to grab a free printable list of boomerang ideas so you never have to brainstorm kindness on your worst day.

Get the free Good Vibes Boomerang List - AmyMorinLCSW.com/326

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325 — Harvard Psychiatrist: The #1 Mistake People Make When They Try to Work on Themselves with Dr. Paul Conti Jun 15, 2026

Show notes

Think about the last time you tried to work on yourself. Chances are you started with a list of everything that's wrong with you — what you don't like, what you should be doing, and what you want to "fix."

But what if thinking about yourself as "broken" is the thing that's keeping you stuck? My guest today is Dr. Paul Conti, a Harvard- and Stanford-trained psychiatrist who runs the group practice Pacific Premier Group. He started out in the business world, but after losing his brother to suicide, he turned to mental health full-time. He's the author of Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic and his new book, What's Going Right.

Some of the things we discuss are:

Why leading with "what's wrong with me" might make you avoid looking at your mental health altogether
How losing his brother to suicide changed how Dr. Conti sees high-functioning people who are silently struggling
The three drives that shape your mental health — and the one that determines whether you actually feel happy with your life
Why high-functioning, hard-working people often have a low generative drive without realizing it
Why doing more isn't always the answer — and when doing less is a better choice
The two completely opposite stories you can tell about your own life (and why you get to choose which one is true)
The question to ask yourself every morning that shifts you out of dread

Links & Resources

⁠What's Going Right

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324 — Nervous Before a Big Moment? The Ritual That Gets You in the Right Headspace Jun 12, 2026

Show notes

Want more mental strength plays? Pick up a copy of ⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠.

Have you ever had a big moment coming up, like a presentation or an interview, and spent the final few minutes frantically cramming? We often tell ourselves if we just review our notes one more time, we'll feel confident when we walk in.

But research shows that last-minute cramming is probably making you perform worse, not better. And if you're a crammer like I am, I have good news—there's a much better way to spend those final few minutes before a high-pressure moment.

Some of the things I talk about are:

Why cramming before a big moment quietly raises your anxiety instead of lowering it—and the interview that taught me this the hard way.
The play that works for athletes at the foul line and for the rest of us before a sales call, a performance review, or dinner with the in-laws.
The three science-backed reasons a simple ritual calms your nerves and sharpens your focus (no lucky socks or magical thinking required).
My own two-step pregame ritual—and how I leaned on it when Good Morning America gave me less than an hour's notice to go live on national TV.
The three pieces of a ritual that actually works
The one mistake that makes most people make