Marriage Lab

Latest Episodes:

How to change the culture in your marriage Pt 2 Oct 07, 2024

Show notes

In this episode we talk about the culture shifting power of apologies; offering them freely and frequently. This is different than fawning which is apologizing for anything and everything in an attempt to appease or placate. This also different than admitting guilt or wrongdoing. The kind of freely-given, frequent apologies we're talking about are those that begin with a recognition that my actions affect my spouse. And there are plenty of scenarios in a given day when I miss the mark. Not because I sinned or had ill-intent, but because I'm human. It's an exercise in radical ownership that my actions and words are powerful and even when they are pure-intentioned, they may affect someone in a way they weren't meant to. Offering frequent and freely-given apologies, nurtures empathy and tells your spouse, I care how I affect you.

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You can enter as much as once a day. Ends Oct 21

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How to change the culture in your marriage Pt 1 Sep 30, 2024

Show notes

This episode shares one of the simplest and yet most profound keys to changing the culture in your marriage. Gratitude. Now hear us out! We will share how gratitude provides one of the greatest ROI's in relationships, how we will face internal resistance to it, what it looks like to create practical habits and real life stories of it at work in our marriage.

To enter to win: share a podcast episode on your social media stories & tag me @jennazint

You can enter as much as once a day. Ends Oct 21

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Change your marriage: what your spouse needs the most Sep 26, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron share the secret sauce to seeing change in your marriage. It's simpler than you think. Just more humbling.

To enter to win: share a podcast episode on your social media stories & tag me @jennazint

You can enter as much as once a day. Ends Oct 21

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Is your spouse pushing your buttons? Conflict & Boundaries in Action Sep 23, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk through a conflict they had that morning. This particular one was not a new dynamic in their relationship and had created disconnection many times before. However, this time they successfully paused in dysregulation, intentionally moved towards connection and set some boundaries.
Main takeaways:

If your buttons are getting pushed, remember, they are your buttons and you are responsible for them
If you are the one unintentionally pushing buttons, it's not your fault that they have those buttons, but choose kindness and stop pushing
Boundaries are meant to protect the connection, not just yourself.
Pausing when you get highly dysregulated (read: triggered, highly emotional) can keep your conflict from becoming War (war = for there to be peace, only one person can be right or win; conflict = for there to be peace, two people can see it differently)
Nurturing fondness for your spouse through intentional gratitude can change your heart and lead to quicker connection when there is conflict

To enter to win: share a podcast episode on your social media stories & tag me @jennazint

You can enter as much as once a day. Ends Oct 21

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Behind the Highlight Reel: not falling for comparison in social media Sep 16, 2024

Show notes

In this episode we explore the pitfalls of comparing your spouse to others and the negative impact it can have on your relationship. This comparison can create feelings of judgment and inadequacy, leading to a decline in positive affection and increasing resentment. By idealizing other people's spouses, you set unrealistic expectations and can inadvertently foster a sense of longing or even lust for qualities that are not present in your partner. This pattern is dangerous for creating, healing or maintaining connection. The conversation emphasizes the importance of focusing on the positive attributes of your spouse and being mindful of how comparisons can erode the foundation of your relationship.

To enter to win: share a podcast episode on your social media stories & tag me @jennazint

You can enter as much as once a day. Ends Oct 21

Support the show

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GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here

Breaking Free from Passivity: Empowering Your Marriage with Intentional Action Sep 09, 2024

Show notes

Take 10 week to invest in building better habits with
Jenna's Mastery Course <click to-register: open NOW>
Class starts Oct 1, 2024-
Can passivity be the silent killer in your marriage? In this episode, Aaron and Jenna get real about their own struggles with passivity, sharing how ignoring, avoiding, or delaying discomfort led to feelings of being stuck. Through candid personal stories, they shed light on how this behavior can evolve into rationalizations and bitterness, affecting everything from relationships to personal growth. Aaron also provides insight into his upcoming online small group for porn recovery, where passivity is a common issue, while Jenna talks about managing her impulsive reactions and learning to take measured, thoughtful actions.

To enter to win: share a podcast episode on your social media stories & tag me @jennazint

You can enter as much as once a day. Ends Oct 21

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Reconnecting Through the Everyday: Small Habits, Big Impact Sep 02, 2024

Show notes

Take 10 week to invest in building better habits with
Jenna's Mastery Course <click to-register: open NOW>
Class starts Oct 1, 2024-
In this episode of Marriage Lab, Aaron and Jenna dive into the realities of maintaining a strong connection in marriage, especially during transitions and busy seasons. They share personal stories and insights on how small, consistent habits can significantly impact a marriage's health. They discuss how even brief disconnects, like those experienced during family trips or shifts in routines, can affect a relationship. The couple emphasizes the importance of being intentional in creating connection points, even if they are as simple as a short morning walk or sitting together outside. They also address common issues such as one partner feeling like they are always the one initiating connection and how to shift perspectives to maintain a proactive and hopeful approach to fostering intimacy. The episode offers practical advice on finding small but meaningful ways to stay connected, advocating for consistency over grand gestures.

To enter to win: share a podcast episode on your social media stories & tag me @jennazint

You can enter as much as once a day. Ends Oct 21

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Unmasking Defensiveness: Identify your protective patterns Aug 26, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, we talk about our tells around defensiveness. What are the signs that we are becoming defensive as a listener, specifically when our spouse is sharing pain? Here are a few we identify within ourselves:

The desire to edit the details of what the other person is sharing
Interrupting the speaker
Judging the speakers thoughts and/or feelings
Feeling anger (frustration, annoyance)
Wanting to explain myself

These are signs that our defenses our up and our ears and empathy is off.
What are you tells around defensiveness?
Finally, we talk about what to do with that defensiveness. Explore what you are actually defending to find out what needs attention within yourself!

To enter to win: share a podcast episode on your social media stories & tag me @jennazint

You can enter as much as once a day. Ends Oct 21

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Will my needs ever get met? w/ Jordan & Claire Aug 19, 2024

Show notes

In this episode our good friends, Jordan and Claire, share with us how they each grew in the ability to care for each others needs despite the fear that their own would never get met. Jenna and I (Aaron), have done a number of Couples Coaching sessions with them in which we witnessed a masterful use of the communication tools in the midst of processing pain and feeling defensiveness.
They discuss how to properly validate, have compassion and help the other person feel seen and heard before passing "the talking stick". They also share how they've learned to ride the wave of defensiveness and triggers that inevitably happen when their spouse shares pain involving them.

To enter to win: share a podcast episode on your social media stories & tag me @jennazint

You can enter as much as once a day. Ends Oct 21

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Control in Marriage Aug 12, 2024

Show notes

It's been both our experience of ourselves and of many other marriages that we've coached, that there is one spouse who has a propensity towards Control. We define "control" as one person's attempt at manipulating the outcome through managing another person's actions.
In this episode, Jenna talks about how control shows up for her and what is happening on a deeper level, namely with fear. She lays out the growth path for those who are struggling with trying to control their spouse and the pitfalls that line that path. Aaron talks about his experience of being on the other end of control and the growth path for him out of victimhood and the false belief that anyone actually control you.

To enter to win: share a podcast episode on your social media stories & tag me @jennazint

You can enter as much as once a day. Ends Oct 21

Support the show

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GRAB Jenna's Summer Course Here