Mama Says Namaste Podcast

Latest Episodes:

The Power of Play (Season 4, Episode 37) Jan 30, 2018

Show notes

Does your family actually play together, or even know how? Understanding what motivates each of us allows for you to connect and play where everyone has fun...including the parents!

Listen to this episode on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, TuneIn, YouTube, Spreaker or your RSS Feed

Play is the highest form of research. Albert Einstein

What are we able to do as human beings that can not be replaced by artificial intelligence? It's the soft skills that are critical - bringing forth teamwork, compassion and creativity - those skills that make us human and set us apart from AI. Here is the video we watched: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TFSSCP/permalink/1431369760318752/

In our analysis of learning and education, sometimes it's more about helping the older generation - the parents - re-frame what "learning" can look like. We're training the parent on what they really think school and education "should" be.

Understanding Personality Snapshots

Go back to Season 1: The DISC recap - MamaSaysNamaste.com/personality-snapshots - helps to bring awareness to how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us. This is a chance to see your family in another light - to go deeper than an actual snapshot into who you are under the surface.

D - Driven, assertive, visionary, results-oriented. Lion or Eagle

I - Outgoing, gregarious, story-teller, life of the party. Peacock or Otter

S - Steadfast, loyal, great listener. Golden Retriever or Dove

C - Analytical, logical, systematic, detailed. Owl or Beaver

We all have a little of every personality tendency. We are a beautiful melting pot of intricacies. However, we tend to gravitate toward one or two styles that really highlight our strengths.

Play gives children a chance to practice what they are learning. Mr. Rogers

For a high D or C, they are task-focused. So play may be more about the project. For a D, it's about the end result - a competition, something to achieve. A C would be looking for something to complete. Finishing a project or task, and seeing the instant feedback of completion - winning the game, completing the puzzle, etc.

For an I or S, it's all about the people, engaging and connecting with others. For a high I, it's all about having fun. It's not so much about the competition but just having fun during the process. For an S, it's about connection and relationships.

Understand the personality styles of those who are playing. Meet them where they are and pay attention to what motivates them.

Remember Your Family Vision

In these "10 Essential Lessons for Life", so much goes back to what we decided was our family vision. Go back and explore your own family vision, or create one:

Family Vision - mamasaysnamaste.com/family-vision

Our vision is Explore - Respect - Listen - Connect - Learn - Love

It is a happy talent to know how to play. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your challenge this week - go play. Have fun and put your inhibitions down. The sillier, the better. It's okay to just let loose and be a kid.

Flashback to the blog post I did on play…and climbing in tunnels: Remember To Play

In this season, we've covered:

Have an attitude of gratitude
Fostering independence
Natural Consequences
Having the abundance mentality
No secrets
Empathy
Pick your battles
Quality time
and now, remembering to play.

Coming up next week…

Life Long learners -

We've had so many people ask us about our unschooling journey…and it's so much more than that. It's not simply unschooling, but life-long learning. We are going to dive deep into this over the next few weeks in our new season. It's a doozy, and we'll dive into how we all have the opportunity to learn and grow, and the more we understand, the more we have grace for others and recognize how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us.

Care for some Q&A? Hit us with any questions you have, and we'll send you a personal email response back and may address it on a future podcast! Simply email Ashley directly at Ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com

And remember, if you're liking what you hear, we want to hear from you!

• Subscribe, rate and review on whatever platform you're listening through

• Post your comments/questions in the Mama Says Namaste Facebook Community

• Email Ashley directly at ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com

*Podcast music by the awesome Renee & Jeremy who cover "Put a Little Love In Your Heart" by Jackie DeShannon. Props to both of them for this beautiful rendition that epitomizes what I want for families!

Let Them Bounce (Season 4, Episode 36) Jan 23, 2018

Show notes

How many times do we try to coax our children out of their raging emotions simply because it doesn't work in our own schedule? As we talk about building resilience, it's important to recognize that in order to bounce back, you have to be able to fall. You can't navigate emotions you aren't allowed to feel.

Season 4, Episode 36: Building Resilience

Listen to this episode on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, TuneIn, YouTube, Spreaker or your RSS Feed

This week's episode is brought to you by the Namaste Snapshots - if you are looking for powerful insights into how someone in your life ticks, gift them the beauty of a Namaste Snapshot. When we dive deeper than the surface and identify our best selves, it's amazing how it brings people closer, and helps us all recognize how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us. Don't wait - go ahead and grab one!

We talk about all the Facebook awesomeness - The Mama Says Namaste Facebook Page

To join the community, hop over to the MSN Facebook Group or the Unschooling Families Facebook Group and introduce yourself!

The definition of resilience means we are able to bounce back – but that means we have to feel the fall first. Remember empathy. You may not feel the same extreme response, and it may be insignificant to you, but it's not for your child.

Go back to Episode 33 for more of a refresher on Empathy.

Allow for Space

Give your children space to process and navigate through what they are feeling, without rushing in to their aide right away.

Resilience doesn't come when we don't allow our children to process. If you want your child to be resilient, you have to allow them the opportunity to experience the emotion and get through it.

CLICK TO TWEET

When your child falls, how do you respond? Do you rush to scoop them up and "fix" it? Do you give them space to figure out their own reaction?

Jules knew I wouldn't leave her. I don't play that game. She knew I was watching out for her – that's why she was working it so hard. But the attention she got was pity from strangers. This did her no good, and, quite honestly, really pissed her off. Her angst turned to anger as others tried to make her smile. She wasn't ready to smile, and she didn't appreciate being told how to feel (hmm, can you relate?)

How many times do we try to coax our children out of their raging emotions simply because it doesn't work into our own schedule?

CLICK TO TWEET

Instead of feeling resentment about the time it's taking up, set a simple timer. Just having five minutes to process can be plenty of time for a child to come full circle. And when you put it into perspective that it's only five minutes, it's not as big of a deal for you to make space for that.

When Do We Allow Big Emotion?

There is definitely a time and a place for a meltdown…and yet, when do we assure our kids that yes, right now is when they can absolutely lose their cool and collapse? Most likely that doesn't happen. We see raging emotions and we nip it in the bud.

Don't cry. Don't rage. You're okay. That didn't hurt. You are resilient.

When I'm coaching, there are times I work with families who have never experienced actually going through those big emotions. They've rushed to support to the point that a child doesn't know how to navigate anything on their own. Or a parent has stifled their own emotions for so long they aren't sure how to model resilience. Other times, it may be that the big emotions are so large that there is no getting off of it, and the whole family is getting seasick from the constant waves of large emotions.

What is big in their world may seem insignificant to you, but to them…it's everything.

If It's Important To You…

My mother has a plaque she created to go with her "Creating a Haven of Peace" book that says "If it's important to you, it's important to me." This was a big thing for me growing up. She validated me in my emotions no matter how ridiculous they may have appeared. She met me where I was and helped me ride out the storm.

So Jules was upset. In her world, this burden of walking on her own two legs was just too much for her to carry. I could have forced her to "buck up" and put a smile on her face. But how easy is it for you to force a change in emotions just like that? This kiddo was four.

So she sulked. She moped, acted out the most extreme of sadness and rejection, dragged her feet and lagged further and further behind.

And I stood strong. I had eyes on her, alright, but I made it clear that I was going to move forward and get that shopping done, and that I'd love for her to join me when she was ready. She's resilient. I knew she'd come to me when she was ready.

Compare it to riding a pony - they have to ride it with respect and not let it get out of control or it's dangerous. Can they do that with their emotions? We'll reference getting back on that pony and riding it - because it's a beautiful ride. Allow for grace as well - point out when someone is having an emotional meltdown and look for where you feel empathy. We all have our ups and downs.

The Sun Will Shine Again

Allow your children to weather their own storms.

Give them a safe place to process, and help them navigate how to handle their emotions in an effective way. Letting children

feel and process doesn't mean you have to tolerate a temper tantrum every five minutes.

It's a lot easier to try and control anger and sadness when it's something we deem as petty. Not being carried or getting a toy is no big deal in our world. But how do we have those same children "buck up" when parents divorce, or their dog is hit by a car? These are legitimate emotions that we can't just take away or erase. They have to be able to navigate through them. And the best way to do it is to learn in those seemingly "petty" situations.

Helpful Tips For Big Emotions:

Here are some tips we've used:

• It's okay to be angry or sad – but if that anger and sadness escalates to screams that make people cringe, that's not okay. You can feel your feelings – but do not force it on others. (reminder – what you do impacts others – respect their ears). Click here for our family vision.

• Angry Scribbles: When you are angry, create an angry scribble drawing. This is fun for kids of all ages – just scribble it all out – bright colors, harsh lines…it helps!

• Journal – write out every emotion in a big brain dump. It's better to get it out than keep it in. *Do NOT send a letter/text/email in the intensity of anger. It takes away so many elements to just have the written word, and it can come back to haunt you.

• Take some alone time. Sit with your feelings. Go for a walk (or a run). Give space.

• Listen to music – find a song that fits your feeling. Then find a different song and see how that makes you feel.

• Pay attention to others – what emotion are they feeling? How are they handling it? Observe what others do.

• Practice makes "perfect." None of us are ever going to be truly perfect. But the more we practice navigating our emotions, the more we are able to weather the ups and downs of life.

Emotions are a significant part of who we are. ALL emotions are valid, and they all have their place in this complex brain that makes us human. So let your children feel, experience, process and move on. Allow them to learn how to be resilient.

How do you foster resilience in your children?

Read all of Juliet's story in this blog post: Foster Resilience

Your Challenge This Week: The next time your child has an extreme emotion, take that teachable moment - not just for them, but for you. Step back and see how they shine. See if they can comfort themselves, resolve that fight, or shift that attitude on their own, when given the space to do so. You may learn your child is much more resilient than you give them credit for.

Next week's podcast is on Play - how do you play with your family? Share in the MSN Community on Facebook

And remember, if you're liking what you hear, we want to hear from you!

• Subscribe, rate and review on iTunes

• Post your comments/questions in the Mama Says Namaste Facebook Community

• Email Ashley directly at ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com

Define "Quality Time"... (Season 4, Episode 34) Jan 16, 2018

Show notes

Season 4, Episode 35: Quality Over Quantity

This life lesson may be something we all know we need already, but when you have children, that lesson is very in your face, especially when you are working from home. So how do you keep your sanity, free yourself from obligation, and yet still have that precious "quality time" with your family?

Listen to this episode on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, TuneIn, YouTube, Spreaker or your RSS Feed

Where are we?

Fort Myers Beach, Florida! Check out the awesome work being done at Crow Clinic, who just celebrated their 50th anniversary.

Meet our awesome new friends, www.LetsTravelFamily.com and over on Instagram as @letstravelfamily

It's about Quality Time, not Quantity

Maybe you've rolled your eyes at the cliche "quality over quantity" a time or two. I have, too. Trying to rate what is truly "quality" can be tough, especially when you're stressing about the "quantity" of time you actually don't have!

Life Doesn't Fit Into Perfectly Closed Boxes

As an entrepreneur, I have to say there are times that I can look with envy at the person with the traditional job who clocks in, works their shift, clocks out and completely leaves work at the office. When you have your own business, freelance, or any other variation of entrepreneurism, it's hard to draw that clear line in the sand.

Work and play can seriously overlap. This is a double edged sword, but can also be pretty freakin awesome, since my work is scheduled around the life I want instead of the other way around.

There Are Days…

I struggle with the fact that I'm working from home and juggling two jobs. I feel pulled when I see all of the family playing together and I'm behind a computer screen. But I've figured out something super important: working from home is so overrated.

Let me first say that working from home does not guarantee that you will get to spend more time with your family. Sometimes, it is more a slap in the face of your family that you are there but not focused on them. Because, of course, the whole entire world revolves around your tiny little angels, right?

Those Self-Centered Children

To a child, they are the whole world. Try to just empathize with them – they are experiencing a whole new world on a daily basis. The first five years of life – think of all you learn and start to do! The next five…adding in the realization that there are others out there who have their own emotions and perspectives on the world. And then the next five…figuring out how to mesh those two together and learn and go in harmony with others!

That's a broad generalization, and this is clearly a rant I've run down – but this will get me back around to my point. Young children simply live the life of wonder and awe that happens when you are experiencing something that could be the best – or the worst- on the whole world on a regular basis.

Quantity Is The Issue!

So getting back to working from home. In all their innocence and wonder, small children, especially, are completely oblivious that their parents may actually have something to do that does not involve entertaining them. So they barge in and you:

1. Shout "not now – I'm working!" and shove them out the door

2. Stop and listen and then get caught up in helping them that you lose the rest of the day and don't get whatever you needed to do accomplished.

Again, two broad brush strokes, but essentially the extreme to a common them:

Multitasking can result in you being a 'jack of all trades, master of none.'

CLICK TO TWEET

Now you are stretched for time, your patience is thin, and you haven't really accomplished anything.

Focused Time = Quality

Time block. That's it. That's my solution, and that's what I highly recommend to each and every one of you. It is much, much better to be the parent who is looking into their child's eyes than sitting next to them on the phone going through your emails while you "hang out".

I'm the first to admit that it's hard, especially when, sometimes, it's flat out boring or annoying jumping into their play (oh yes, I did just say that, and you aren't the only one who doesn't really want to "play" all the time).

Here are our top tips to navigate time with your children so it truly IS quality time:

Bookend your day. We've said this time and time again. Be prepared. Create systems and habits you can implement that makes it all much easier. Pre-make your coffee, breakfast, set out clothes, etc. Talk with each other about what is coming up the next day so everyone is on the same page. Inspect what you expect - allow for time to assess if what you are doing is actually working!
Build your list. Clear your head. Dump out the list of to-dos in your mind. Write off the things you need to get, to do, to accomplish. Clearly communicate what needs to be done.
Time block. When you really need to work, literally separate yourself from all distractions. When you work, work. One hour of focused, undistracted time may allow for two hours of time to be with your children. When it makes sense, include your kids, sure. But if you have a looming list of tasks, you can spend more focused time with them if you separate it out. When you block off specific time, you help to prevent living in reaction.
Shut down the notifications. Turn off your phone, your iMessages, and any other alerts. Close yourself off – shut the door, go somewhere. Don't be around your children, unless you are willing and able to handle interruptions. With notifications, when you see it, your mind immediately goes there, and not on the present. The world will not fall apart if you set times to check notifications vs. reacting whenever they crop up.
If you are pressed, put parameters on your time together. Even taking 5-10 minutes to stop what you're doing and connect with your child may fill their bucket enough that they are able to then play for a stretch without you. If you are an "I like to finish what I start" person, you definitely need to practice letting things go. Blocking off a few minutes can make all the difference in the world. It's not always the time-suck you think it is. If you aren't sure what your personality style is, check out the Namaste Snapshots.
When you do focus on your kids, make it valuable for both of you. Stepping into their world can be beautiful. But just because your child loves to play "cheetah" and run on all fours through the house for hours doesn't mean you have to fake enjoyment in that to connect with them. CLICK TO TWEET Find things that are mutually rewarding. Take a walk together. Cook together. Do a project. Sometimes we feel forced to play only in a 3-year-old's world, and they would jump at the chance to do something "grown up" with you. Open up the creative aspect by combining a little of something you both enjoy…create "princess golf" or crayons plus watercolor.
Quality time doesn't mean only loose play time. It can be 1-1 talks in the car. Sometimes it's reading a book or running errands together. It's focused attention on your child, where they know you are truly present. You can still accomplish grabbing that item from Target, but maybe it's couched in a date with your daughter and you spend time browsing the toy aisle with her just for fun, and grab a hot cocoa from Starbucks on your way out. I've had some pretty fun shopping experiences with the kids where I may have tackled the errands, but we spent a lot of time giggling and trying on clothes, checking out toys and simply exploring a store together.
Just hang. There are times when a plan and a focus is awesome. And, there are times when no plan is the best. Give yourself permission to not be "on" all the time with your children. Allow for boredom - it spurs on so much creativity.

If you are looking for a conversation starter, we're only half way through our 30-Day Get the Conversation Started Challenge, so be sure to ask your kids, your spouse, your friends or even share your own answer to one (or all) of our daily questions.

Not only will you get the value of starting a fun conversation with a loved one, you'll also be entered to win a free personality snapshot.

There is no perfect equal balance in life - it's a give and take and constant navigation.

What are you doing in your home to instill that quality time?

How are you balancing work and family?

Be intentional about your time, and look for opportunities to simply invest in your children. Some days are better than others. Kids are resilient and can be very forgiving. But it takes some deposits in their own lives to establish that security in your relationship. Then they can allow you your space to get things done. They know you place a priority on them and they will have their time with you as well.

Your action step this week: Try "Talkie Time" with your children. Set a timer for 5 minutes and just have a focused conversation where you let your child lead it. You don't have to make a big announcement, just sit with them and let them know the attention is all on them. Five minutes is longer than you think, and it's amazing where that path may lead. My kids love "talkie time" as their special chance to be fully heard and connect on a daily basis.

You don't have to title it or state what is happening. Simply sit down alongside your children. Observe. See what they are doing and they are focused on. Sometimes the best way to connect with another is side-by-side, not head on confrontation.

Get yourself in the right mindset this morning. Listen to my guided meditation from last week: Breath In, Breath Out

And remember, if you're liking what you hear, we want to hear from you!

• Subscribe, rate and review on iTunes

• Post your comments/questions in the Mama Says Namaste Facebook Community

• Email Ashley directly at ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com

GUIDED MEDITATION: 15 minute meditation for happiness and family Jan 10, 2018

Show notes

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Today we meditate to create. We focus on intention to create the life we want, instead of simply hoping it will fall in our lap. I've been diving into meditation this year, and as our family has listened to so many guided meditations, I decided to create some of our own. Listen to this to start out your day. Grab 15 minutes of silence, or play your favorite meditation music in the background as you listen to the spoken words. Below is the full transcript, yet I encourage you to close your eyes and only listen.

Breathe in, breathe out. It's a new year, it's a new day, it's a new life... Did you know that you can actually wake up every day and say this? We hold so much anticipation for the new year - that THIS is when you make your resolutions, lay out your goals, and make a change in your life. Yet we have the beautiful opportunity to do this each and every day. We don't have to wait until January 1st to begin. As I'm recording this, we're ten days in, and some of you are already beating yourselves up for what you haven't actually done. Those great intentions of a daily run have been completely nixed as temperatures have plummeted outside. There are still too many great leftovers in the kitchen to really start that healthy eating plan. And the kids are still reeling from the sugar rush and weeks of excess, so you're now considering a completely different kind of bootcamp just to get your sanity back.

Remember, today is a new day. Today is the day you sit down and write the script for your future. You set the intention for today. Because this is a beautiful moment, and it's yours completely.

Get into a comfortable position. Lying down may mean you fall asleep. But then again, if you fall asleep, it may be that rest is what your body needs. So lie down, sit crosslegged, or even hang out in child's pose - it's a great way to really turn inward with your face down.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Soak in what is happening right now. Pay attention to your body. How do you feel? What is it telling you? Start at the crown of your head and feel it. Have you ever just stopped and paid attention to the way your head feels? Simply putting your attention on each part - your scalp, your temples, your forehead, around your eyes, the back of your head...take a deep breath in. Feel that breath going down through your body. As you exhale, tilt your head down and feel the beautiful stretch in your neck.

Focus your thoughts on the point where your neck and your head meet. Although your head may not be the heaviest part of your body, there is a lot of weight here - that heaviness in your mind - those thoughts of all the things you need to do, frustrations from the day, and feelings about who you are...or wish you could be...deep breath in. Gather it all up. All the heavy weight and emotion. Grab it up in a big bear hug and release it. Exhale and let it free. Send love to your mind. Light, airy, filled with grace. Feel your head get lighter and that spot where your head and neck meet get stronger as it has been released.

Move down to your shoulders. We're going to do a mental massage here. With your mind, feel the release of your shoulders just like someone rubbing the muscles - from the center of your spine out, over each shoulder, squeezing and massaging. Feel the tension ease out. Pay attention to what is left, and the strength in your body. Work down from your shoulders, and focus on your spine. As you work your way down the spine, imaging your back parting like the Red Sea - a flowing wave of water, with your muscles being eased and pushed outward from the spine as you scan all the way down it. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

As the waves flow out, feel your arms. Let the ripple of release course through your fingertips. Feel how your body lets go of the tension, the tightness and pressure, simply by placing intentional focus on it. Your mind is a powerful thing. Shining light on those areas of your body where you hold tension immediately allows your body to assess...is this true? Is this helpful to my body? Is this something I want to hold on to? Breathe in. Breathe out.

You make this choice. We can be held victims of our own pain simply by allowing it to run us. Yet we have a choice. Focusing our attention on the tightness and acknowledging it, we give it respect. We acknowledge that it's there, and we assess what may be going on deeper. Pain, tension, stress and anger don't like force. Sometimes we try to fight it out. We say pain, be gone! When all pain wants is to be acknowledged; for you to stop movement and recognize its place in your body. Do that, and release it go. Send love with every ounce of being to that feeling of stress, tension or anger in you.

Release it. Love it.

At this point we are halfway through your body. You have a wave of love that is gently washing over the heaviness and you are starting to feel a lot lighter. Send your focus to the hips. Imagine hands on each side of your hips bringing down your muscles from your hips down your thighs, pushing out any tension and tightness. Sink your hips deeper into your relaxing position. Let go of any weight you've been holding in and allow for a full release. Feel all the way down your legs, again that wave of love washing over you. Breathe in. On your breath out, allow love and calm to flow all the way through your body again. Breathe in. Breathe out.

There is so much more to us than simply this body. We are surrounded by energy, and that energy flows around and within us. Above you, there is a bright white light. Visualize it pouring over you like a waterfall of warm water, warming your head, your neck, your shoulders, your back. Your hips, your legs, and shooting that heat, that calming heat, all the way out your toes. In your mind's eye, imagine your whole body now glowing with white light. You are airy, calm, and full of peace. This is where you create your intention.

You've been completely focused, calm, and allowing flow within your body. At the same time, I've spoken intention and you've visualized and created these feelings through your body. You have the power to do this all throughout the day. As you go about your day today, keep this same focus. Before reacting, simply observe. Notice your surroundings, what's going on, without attaching any emotion to it.

Shine your light of focus, and create the intention for how you want to approach it. Not dictating how everyone else should act, but how YOU will respond. You write the script for your reaction. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Today, as you are surrounded by your children, make it a point to stop, get at your child's level, and see them exactly as they are in that moment. Take that bright light of love that is glowing in you, and pass it to your child. Visualize it flowing out of you and through your child's crown - on the top of their head, all through their body. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Today, look your partner in their eyes. Pause and simply look at each other and hold the gaze. Share your light with them, and send it through your eyes into theirs. Touch them. Go even further and touch them like this meditation touched you, moving over their body in a way to send love and help them to release. Your cup is full, and you are able to fully give and connect with your partner. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Today is your opportunity to approach everything and everyone with love, peace, and kindness. As you go about your day, approach every stressful moment with observation, and the knowledge that you have a choice. Will this run you, ruin you, or control your reaction? Or can you simply observe and choose love. Love yourself. Love this moment. Love what is. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Don't map out every second. Free your agenda and expectations to take the day off. Today you are love. Today you are present. Today, at this moment, you have lightness within and around you. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease. Breathe in. Breathe out.

This is the happiness mantra. Repeat this with me. May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease. May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease. May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.

Don't get so focused on the "idea" of what has to be, and simply set the intention for today. For each day is viewed through our own lens, and we get to adjust the focus. My soul recognizes your soul. I honor the light, love, beauty, truth and kindness because it is also within me. We are all interconnected. We are love. Namaste.

Needing more of this? Click the graphic below and take the quiz to see how your family is doing, and get free access to resources that help you all reach that deeper connection.

Welcome to the Fight Club - Choose Wisely (Season 4, Episode 34) Jan 09, 2018

Show notes

You may hear "pick your battles," but how easy is it to do that in the heat of the moment, when you're frustrated, tense, and have no patience left? In this podcast, our daughter Clara joins us and we share about a crazy utopian society, how to pick your battles, and 4 powerful tips to diffuse the fight before it starts.

Where we have been - Koreshan State Park -

The Koreshan Unity was a communal utopia formed by Cyrus Teed, - The Koreshan Unity started in the 1870s in New York, where Teed started preaching his beliefs - Eventually, Teed took his followers to Estero, Florida, to form his "New Jerusalem" in 1894. (and no, "voluptuous" in no way means an 18" waist, Nathan!)

The community was at its peak 1903-1908, when it had over 250 residents - In 1908 Teed got in a skirmish with a local Marshal over preaching their beliefs and was beat down After Teed died in 1908 the group went into decline.

Follow www.Instagram.com/FieldTripGypsies to see all our pictures of this place

Pick your battles. You don't have to show up to every argument you're invited to. Mandy Hale

Episode 9 - Fighting Toward a win-win (discussion is not a monologue)

"Practice being kind rather than being right." Go back to "what is your goal" in this.

Be careful about going down the long road of fighting a battle that may just not be worth fighting. It's okay to be human and recognize when a battle has gotten bigger than your relationship. Step out of it. Don't die on that hill. Your relationship is worth more than that.

• Where is my tension? Do a body scan – where are you feeling your anger? Are you going to simply react out of anger?

Point this out in your children - "is your chest really tight?" "Are your fists clenched?" A thief doesn't like to have a light shined on them - bring light to the negative feeling in your - or your child's - body. Notice it, and watch how it can dissipate.

• Ask yourself, "is this more about my convenience or their needs?" Which is more important at that moment?

Patience - we are given opportunities for it. And although it might take forever, when I've held back, the kids work it out on their own. For example, potty time. It takes forever.

• Take a perspective check and determine the urgency of the situation

What will I lose if I let go of my expectation in this moment?

For parking lot drama or a late airplane flight - take over and move them out on. Shoes on just-so before a walk…we wait.

• Take a deep breath, and count to seven. This helps to re-set and cool you down, and allows your child to process and think about their part in it all.

Taking a breather can be helpful - kill two birds with one stone with the pull-up bar. Let kids see us give ourselves a time out. Shake off all that negative energy. Check out Dr. Laura Bergman's Quantum Love series.

It can take 7 seconds for an S or C personality to process, while it's 3 seconds for a D or I. Learn about your style with a Namaste Snapshot.

Check out this scenario, on the case of the teddy bear outfit: Pick Your Battles

Reminder of the thriving/surviving quiz:

Want to skip straight to the free video email series for bedtime

battles? Go here!

30 Day Challenge: 30 questions to ask your children…like,

I love this one because I captured the girls' response on video: If you could ask a wild animal any question, what would you ask them?

"What's your super hero name and what powers do you have?"

"My superhero name is Rosette. I have powers to love and powers to be who I am. And I'm a bucket filler." Juliet, age 5

Or - you're at the beach, what's the first thing you do? Debbie Anderson and Lindsay Black both said take off their shoes -

If you want more proof that grounding works, check out this article.

Your challenge this week: Ground yourself. Before you react, assess. Feel the earth at your feet and determine how much you're battle really matters.

That stance someone else takes may not be about winning or losing, but about a different perspective, and it's one more step in understanding how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us.

And remember, if you're liking what you hear, we want to hear from you!

• Subscribe, rate and review on iTunes

• Post your comments/questions in the Mama Says Namaste Facebook Community

• Email Ashley directly at ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com

Whatever you do, don't do this… Jan 02, 2018

Show notes

When we cultivate empathy, we build the bridge of connection. We don't take away the emotion or experience another is going through; we simply sit there with them. Join us as we discuss where we are, our goals for the new year, and how to build empathy and connection in your home.

Listen to this episode on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, TuneIn, YouTube, or your RSS Feed

Where are we: The Everglades! Learn more about this fascinating area here. And check out our Shark Valley bike ride (and gators) here.

Brené Brown's talk on Empathy - check out the video in my blog post here.

4 Qualities of Empathy:

1. Perspective Taking
2. Staying out of judgement
3. Recognizing emotion in others
4. Communicating that emotion

In order to connect with someone, you have to find something in your life that creates that feeling. It's not "silver lining" it and saying "at least…"

Rarely does a response make something better; it's that connection.

"Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself." Mohsin Hamid

Don't move, fix, or correct the emotion of another. Simply meet them where they are.

Sitting with and experiencing emotion is so important for us to learn how to navigate through it. There is function in emotion - it's not just something to barrel through.

What NOT to say to your children:

"You're okay" - what someone else is going through is not yours to own or take away. When your child feels pain, hurt, anger, etc, it's their emotion. We can't force our kids' emotions away. They have to navigate through it. Jumping in with them and helping them recognize the power of their own mind equips them with the tools to recognize their own capabilities and the power of their mind to move through the emotion. Comfort first - connect through touch and sharing the emotion of what they are going through. Before shifting, meet them where they are.

Don't deny the emotion, own it and navigate through.

"You need to…/I told you…/See…"

The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent. Alfred Brindel

Being told something vs. experiencing the opportunity to navigate it on their own really allows them to grasp a concept on a much deeper level. When you are driven, you retain it. Desire is such an important part of learning. Nothing drives love for what you do like a true desire. Letting your children discover that on their own empowers them to really grasp it. Sometimes less is more - give your child the opportunity to figure things out. People go to therapy - they pay someone else to just listen to them. What if we actually stopped and simply listened to others and gave them the space to process through with the support of someone else's presence. If you want to truly help/teach your children, be the example. "Preach…and if necessary, use words." St. Francis of Assisi.

3. "It's not a big deal." Don't squash what they feel in the moment. It's not yours to negate. This is a powerful time for you to be able to hold them through an emotion. Don't be the signpost for your kids just telling them "life goes this way." We all need to discover our own paths. Empathize, don't tell them how to feel it.

Empathy is the bridge of connection between two souls.

Your challenge: Meet your children where they are. Get down on their level. No matter what age, comfort and listen first. Act only if necessary. Sometimes it's just knowing they aren't alone is all that is needed and they can navigate the rest on their own.

Additional blog posts on empathy:

- - - 10 Essential Lessons For Life: Empathy
    - Chaos of the Heart: Rawness Equals Connection

Next up: Pick Your Battles! Hit us with any questions, comments and stories you have, and we'll send you a personal email response back and may address it on a future podcast! Simply email Ashley directly at Ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com

Check out the new "Thriving Families" quiz on the website! Go straight to it here: https://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/thriving-families-quiz/

And remember, if you're liking what you hear, we want to hear from you!

• Subscribe, rate and review on iTunes

• Post your comments/questions in the Mama Says Namaste Facebook Community

• Email Ashley directly at ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com

No Secrets; Love Is An Open Door (Season 4, Episode 32) Dec 26, 2017

Show notes

Season 4, Episode 32

Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone! Most everyone has heard this at some point in their lives, and typically it's about kids keeping secrets from each other. But wow, I have heard story after story of how secrets, lies and deception have just ripped families apart. Our lesson today is an important one, and one that can be a pretty touchy subject.

Listen to this episode on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, TuneIn, YouTube, Spreaker or your RSS Feed

We shifted our Christmas a bit this year - spacing gifts out over the week vs. a big dump Christmas morning. It was nice to really give attention and focus to each present as we opened one a day.

What shifts did you make this Christmas? What have you explored doing differently so you can focus on what is most important? Have you experimented with any of your old traditions and tried anything new this year? Share it with us in the Mama Says Namaste Facebook group!

No Secrets

We are up-front and honest with our children 100% of the time. This does NOT mean we tell them every detail of everything. This doesn't mean they need to know every piece of news and heaviness in the world.

When a child asks a poignant question that has depth to it, they deserve the respect to give them an answer. It doesn't mean they have to be told every little fact and detail - but they should be heard and answered.

Sometimes kids are ready to hear a truth, and other times, they can chose not to. Sometimes, they can simply choose to "believe in magic."

A lot of times we are the ones placing the high expectations on a topic and giving it a lot more weight than what is needed.

Setting Boundaries

There are conversations we have with each other where children want to know all the details. I can respect their curiosity, give them a "cliffs notes" version of what we're talking about, and explain to them that this is a conversation that doesn't relate or apply to them. There are times where it's simply not their business, or they are too young for the topic.

No Secrets Does Not Mean A News Brief

No subject is taboo in our home. Everything is open to discussion. But this does not mean I sit my children down and give them a news brief every morning.

Our children don't need to know everything. They don't need the weight of the darkness and sadness in the world on their shoulders. I want to protect them from the pain as much as I can, but sooner or later, our children are going to see pain and hurt and the darker side of the world. I want them to always know the door is open for us to talk with them about anything. No topic is off limits, and we want to remain a safe haven to learn and ask questions.

Why Is This So Important?

No secrets promotes teamwork. When you keep secrets from your children, you're supporting a hierarchy of who is "in the know." Kids can sniff out lies easier than we give them credit for. We have to keep in mind that it's not just our words, but our energy and unspoken body language that our children see. The heavy stuff – our "skeletons in the closet," can run deep.

I have friends and family who grew up with secrets. The missing pieces – "Why did Daddy leave?" or "Where did the money go?" created confusion in kids. We are naturally inquisitive as humans. We want to know how things tick and why x + y = z. Missing gaps don't go unnoticed. I don't need to inform my children of every thing going on in my life, but when it affects my temperament; when my brain is elsewhere and I'm processing something heavy on my heart, the kids notice.

Allow Your Children To See Your Pain

If it's affecting you, your children deserve to know what's going on. When we have emotional turmoil, this makes a big impact in our energy and how we are with everyone, including our children. To hide or compartmentalize our "issues" simply means we are choosing not to deal with them at the moment, and they will inevitably crop up down the road. Young children, especially, are egocentric. They typically believe most of life revolves around them. When a child sees a parent having a hard time, the first thought is "what did I do?"

You perpetuate unhealthy emotion management when you hide and suppress. Use those moments of pain as a time to process and teach about a powerful way to deal with the emotions you are processing. You don't have to hand off the pain, but you can be open about what you're going through.

Don't Avoid The Hot Topics

It's not just about pain, however. There are many topics that end up being taboo in a household. It may be about sex, drugs, or religion. Maybe it's the "because I said so" discussion regarding curfew or why you are anti-whatever. Controversial issues in the world – the ones that are highly opinionated and much discussed – are going to present themselves to your children.

Be careful about delaying conversations that allow an opportunity for growth.

When you avoid controversial topics, it simply tells your children that your door is closed, and they need to go elsewhere to learn.

Keep An Open Door

The only tension we feel is our own - our need to answer and be "right."

This is how they learn. Your children are sponges. They are soaking everything up – both things said and unsaid. In our household, we have an open door policy. It's not just about dumping everything on them, but we want to set the precedent that they can come to us with anything. A few tips for keeping an open door and not having secrets:

Download the PDF of 7 Tips for Family Honesty

Your Action Item for this week – Your children are going to ask you questions this week. Make it a point to be truthful with your answer, even if it's simply "I don't know" or "I'm not quite ready to talk about that with you." The point is to be honest with where you are at – not simply pulling out every skeleton. Just start setting the precedent that your home has an open door for conversation.

No secrets doesn't mean baring all and shoving it in people's faces. It means being authentic and true to who and where you are at this moment - even if it's simply saying, "I'm not ready to talk about it."

And remember, if you're liking what you hear, we want to hear from you!

• Subscribe, rate and review on iTunes

• Post your comments/questions in the Mama Says Namaste Facebook Community

• Email Ashley directly at ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com

Don't Be A Scrooge (Season 4, Episode 31) Dec 19, 2017

Show notes

Have an abundance mindset. How can you life in a way that recognizes the Law of Attraction, and raise your children to be generous in life?

Listen to this episode on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, TuneIn, YouTube, Spreaker or your RSS Feed

Where are the @FieldTripGypsies this week? Rockin it in Miami after a few weeks in the Florida Keys!

Wanna check out Nathan's orb spider? Here you go

"If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away." Mark Twain

This quote pulls the focus off of the individual and puts it on the world. Give freely and abundantly, and it's amazing what comes back to you.

This is a daily practice - not just one and done. It's regular emotional tithing.

Here is last weeks' blog post:

"Natural Consequences, Discipline…or Punishment"

Are you asking for a kush life, but not recognizing the opportunities that develop your perspective?

Expectations are premeditated resentments. Be open to the opportunities that may be around you that you don't expect.

There are little signposts - or alerts - along the way that can affirm your path.

Original Post on abundance: 10 Essential Lessons For Life: The Abundance Mentality

"I can play country…but I'm hippie at heart." Nathan Logsdon

If you want more coming in, open yourself up to invest in others.

When we only look at the surface, we lose. Look deeper for true connection.

If you haven't checked it out yet, explore the Namaste Personality Snapshots for your family.

Want to visit Nashville? Well, here is our house on AirBnB

Co-Creating At It's Best - Dr. Wayne Dyer, Esther Hicks, and Abraham:

"Use whatever excuse you can to vibrate in harmony with those things you've been saying you want. And when you do, those things that are a vibrational equivalent flow into your experience in abundance. Not because you deserve it, but because it's the natural consequence of the Law of Attraction. That which is like unto itself is drawn." Esther Hicks

You follow your fears. If you are stuck living in the fear of losing something, or something horrible happening…or living in the past pains…switching this script makes a huge impact on what your future will hold.

Once you are able to love yourself, you are able to love people beyond what you dreamed possible. It boils down to accepting that you are who you are, and you have a purpose in this life.

The kid's station on Pandora is the "It's A Hard Knock Life Radio"

Sometimes we gain wealth only to "Ebeneezer Scrooge" it. (Nathan)

Flip the script. Change your perspective and point of view.

And for your children, don't let your fears get in the way of them embracing life. Don't fill them with a world of "can't". There is a world of "can."

Sometimes we can get so lost in our own misery that we forget there are others out there. Everybody has a story.

Have You Filled a Bucket series

Want a full gift guide of books for kids? Check this out: https://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/book-gift-ideas-kids/

"Where your focus goes, energy flows." Tony Robbins

We choose "Logsdon Love Day" every day. Every day is an opportunity to celebrate what we have. To be grateful. Not just an obligatory holiday feel-good.

As you pour into others, its amazing how rich you will feel.

It doesn't mean you have to hold onto every gift out of obligation. Pay it forward.

And when you give, give and let go. Don't hold on to the expectations of how it will be received.

Help each other. Love each other. Love yourself, and give grace.

Your challenge - Pick someone every day to give to. No agenda, no reciprocity, no reason. Give randomly and generously just because.

Give anonymously. This is a wonderful little book to share with the girls about Santa when they start to question it all. I love that what it highlights is that yes, Santa is real, and it's a name for people who give in secret. The focus isn't in the person, but what being "Santa" is really about. It's about being secretive because the real gift of giving is the joy it gives to others. It states "Saint Nicholas was the first Santa Clause, but anyone who shares the SPIRIT of the holiday through giving is a Santa". Check out "The Wonderful Truth About Santa"

Four key areas we discussed:

Drop your expectations. Abundance may come in a different way than you anticipated.
Don't have a scarcity mentality. Don't attract your greatest fears.
Fill people's buckets. Look for how you can give and invest in others.
Accept giving with gratitude. Not just for what the gift is, but that someone else thought of you - be a gracious receiver.

And remember, if you're liking what you hear, we want to hear from you!

• Subscribe, rate and review on iTunes

• Post your comments/questions in the Mama Says Namaste Facebook Community

• Email Ashley directly at ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com

Every Action Has a Consequence (Season 4, Episode 30) Dec 12, 2017

Show notes

Season 4, Episode 30

Listen to this episode on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, TuneIn, YouTube, Spreaker or your RSS Feed

Podcast Title: Every Action Has A Consequence

Summary: In this episode on the "10 Essential Lessons for Life," we discuss the hard truths of natural consequences, and how this exactly what we as adults deal with on a regular basis. Learn three tips to ensure you are using natural consequences correctly in your life, and your children's. www.MamaSaysNamaste.com/podcast-natural-consequences

Podcast Notes -

In Season 4, "10 Essential Lessons For Life," we give you a series of insights that will hopefully motivate and inspire you with your own family. These core lessons and values are the foundation of our family. We will continue to grow throughout our lifetime, and there is no way we can teach our children everything. Yet these lessons are the pinnacle of what we believe in. It's not just us parents teaching our children, either. The first five lessons are what we've imparted to our daughters. The last five are the valuable lessons they've taught us.

Links Referenced in the Podcast:

Be sure to check out the blog from last week: www.MamaSaysNamaste.com/purpose-for-money

Do you have a clear vision for your family? Check out www.MamaSaysNamaste.com/family-vision for a refresher on this.

Remember - unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments! Clearly communicate with one another - this is so huge for a thriving family.

Go to www.MamaSaysNamaste.com/podcast and ASK US ANYTHING! Share your thoughts and feedback. We love hearing from you!

https://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/natural-consequences/

"My actions are my only true belongings." Tich Nhat Hanh

Natural consequences are simply a reaction to your behavior.

In nature there are neither rewards or punishments; there are consequences.

Have You Filled A Bucket Book Series: These books are super sweet and help kids see the importance of sharing love and kindness with others - my girls really responded well to these. This whole series helps children understand about deposits and withdrawals in our emotional bank account (or emptying/filling the bucket). I was surprised that even my then 2-year-old quickly grasped the concept and looked for ways to "fill a bucket". http://amzn.to/2xrHES7

We only have so much energy every day. We need to make sure we aren't "on" as parents 24/7. Parenting is not a sprint; it's an ongoing marathon - so pace yourself.

Are you robbing your children of them having natural consequences due to your own fears of them falling…or failing?

Food doesn't always have to be readily available. Sometimes things aren't in season…both in nature, and what is offered at the dinner table. It's okay to draw a line on food battles and allow your children to feel the natural consequence of a hungry belly.

Be careful about passing your fears onto your children. Or your pickiness. You are their example for how to navigate this world. And them seeing you experience the natural consequences of life is a powerful lesson for them.

When you show your own brokenness to your children, it allows them to see you as human and not simply on a pedestal…which can be a long fall down when they actually DO realize you're human.

Do you need that outside perspective in your own life? Do you need someone to help you be accountable to your dreams, to affirm you and support you, and to challenge you to grow and not simply wait for "one day"? Check out www.MamaSaysNamaste.com/coaching. Email me at ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com with any questions you may have.

Look at mistakes, challenges…negativity - as "what does this make possible?"

Natural Consequences: Is it reasonable, related, and respectful? https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/positive/disciplining-with-natural-consequences/

If you want your children to respect you…respect them.

Every action has a consequence. Weigh what you are willing to do and accept the consequence. What will you risk? Your children are watching.

There is always an impact that happens when decisions are made. People are impacted by the decisions you - and your children - make.

The decisions we make - and the actions we take are our only actions in this world.

Your challenge - share a story with someone younger than you about a natural consequence you experienced in your own life.

And remember, if you're liking what you hear, we want to hear from you!

Subscribe, rate and review on iTunes
Post your comments/questions in the Mama Says Namaste Facebook Community
Email Ashley directly at ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com

What would it take for you to truly feel free? (Season 4, Episode 29) Dec 06, 2017

Show notes

Summary:

In Season 4, "10 Essential Lessons For Life," we give you a series of insights that will hopefully motivate and inspire you with your own family. These core lessons and values are the foundation of our family. We will continue to grow throughout our lifetime, and there is no way we can teach our children everything. Yet these lessons are the pinnacle of what we believe in. It's not just us parents teaching our children, either.

The first five lessons are what we've imparted to our daughters. The last five are the valuable lessons they've taught us.

In our second lesson, we talk about fostering independence…not only in our children, but in ourselves as well. What is holding you back from freedom? What would it take to truly make you feel free? www.MamaSaysNamaste.com/podcast-foster-independence

What's holding you back from freedom?

www.MamaSaysNamaste.com/no-excuses - it will always stay "one day" until you speak it into reality and create plans to make it happen.

What does financial independence look like to you?

What is the bare minimum you need to live by? How much money do you really need?

"There are two lasting gifts we can give our children. One is roots, the other, wings."

You need the confidence to step out…and the competence to identify when you need to really ask for help.

https://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/life-lessons-independence/

10 Underrated Parenting Milestones: http://crappypictures.com/ten-underrated-parenting-milestones/

Every action has a consequence.

Allow your children to earn the right for their independence.

Give your children grace… and space to fail. To fall. And, to get back on. This is a powerful lesson for all of us. Give yourself grace to fail.

Give your children safety in boundaries that are broad enough it allows them to truly explore.

Love the growth and the process instead of simply trying to hold on to the past.

Your Challenge This Week:

Here is your challenge for the week. Let go of one thing you are doing for your children. It may be wiping their hiney, combing their hair, or cooking breakfast for them. What can you give your children that adds to their life skills while also lessening your to-do list for the day?

And remember, if you're liking what you hear, we want to hear from you!

Subscribe, rate and review on iTunes
Post your comments/questions in the Mama Says Namaste Facebook Community
Email Ashley directly at ashley@MamaSaysNamaste.com

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