Make Your Damn Bed

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/practicing-and-listening-to-music-can-slow-cognitive-decline-in-healthy-seniors-by-producing-more-gray-matter/ and

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813 || music therapy proof May 23, 2023

Show notes

a lil good news about music therapy, working memory, and neuroplasticity

RESOURCES:

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/music-therapy-helps-paralyzed-man-walk-and-talk-again-w-the-carpenters/

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812 || Janelle Monae (icon) May 22, 2023

Show notes

Today I'm going rogue from my standard style and sharing some direct quotes from the iconic Janelle Monae.

RESOURCES: https://hbr.org/2020/09/lifes-work-an-interview-with-janelle-monae

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811 || drop the subtext May 21, 2023

Show notes

and I quote: "Isn’t this what we are all longing for, on some level? To be real with each other? To be a real person, consequences be damned? To be loved, and to love? To know what a vitally alive love-filled life feels like, and be living it, each blessed moment?"

RESOURCES: https://psiloveyou.xyz/if-you-want-fulfilling-intimacy-try-subtext-free-relating-ccfc23baaf7b

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810 || wherever you go, there you are May 20, 2023

Show notes

Unfortunately, we can't outrun ourselves (I tried, Confucius tried, it's hopeless) so we better get to work on the internal work before we get started on the external.

RESOURCES: https://briefer.com/books/go

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809 || hyper-vigilance May 19, 2023

Show notes

Experiencing hyper vigilance can make it feel impossible to relax. It's exhausting. Today, we discuss some ways to cope.

RESOURCE: https://www.healthline.com/health/hypervigilance and https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/202105/are-you-hypervigilant

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808 || how to read a room May 17, 2023

Show notes

I talk (often) about how important it is to learn how to read the room, but today I'm sharing "how" to practice the skill. This timely message brought to you by the realization I'm hypervigilant because of trauma not because I'm sooooo nice.

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807 || emotional loneliness May 16, 2023

Show notes

How do you fight the feeling of internal/emotional isolation? My strategy is taking any type of action - but ooof it can hurt!

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RESOURCES: https://www.mic.com/impact/women-removing-their-body-hair-is-a-deeply-sexist-tradition-that-wont-end-16470015 AND https://rosie.org.au/blog/razors-lasers-internalised-misogyny-reflections-on-body-hair/

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806 || body hair May 15, 2023

Show notes

Personal grooming is just that: Personal. Do what you want, when you want, for YOU. If you let society decide, you may end up with a long face and cat poop on your head (please listen to the episode for context.)

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RESOURCES: https://www.mheducation.com/highered/product/crucial-conversations-tools-talking-when-stakes-high-patterson-grenny-mcmillan-switzler/9780071771320.html and https://theartofliving.com/crucial-conversations-summary/ and https://www.shortform.com/blog/how-to-have-crucial-conversations/

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805 || crucial conversation methods May 14, 2023

Show notes

If you tend to get defensive or want to negate arguments, these tools can come in handy:

Ask questions – Get things moving with questions. They show you’re interested and help others contribute.
Mirror feelings – Let others know you recognize what they’re feeling e.g. “I can hear that you’re upset about that” or “It sounds like you want to make a change.”
Paraphrase to show understanding – Show you understand by putting what they’ve said in your own words e.g. “To make sure I’ve got this right; you want to…”
Prime when you’re unsure – Make an educated guess when they give you nothing e.g.”I would feel sad about that. What about you?”

Or there is the ABC method. This is one I am personally familiar with -

Agree – Tell them what you do agree with.
Build – Build on what they’ve said.
Compare – Compare and contrast when you completely disagree. I always thought of this as a counterargument to my own and theirs so we can work to find middle ground - but compare is even more concise.

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