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    Comedy Fiction

    Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica

    Join powerful but over-it medium Madame Magenta and her husband Bernard on their run-ins with spirits, fae, and annoying dead exes.

    Madame Magenta, psychic, medium, and inventor of the ‘drink-along’ audiobook, reads her memoirs, with support from her adoring husband Bernard.

    In Season 1, Magenta is forced into a bank heist by the ghost of her ex-husband. Season 2 sees Magenta pitted against a psychotic murderer hell-bent on destroying the mystic community. In Season 3, they ward off a demonic entity living in an unlikely object. And in Season 4… we’re on the case with Magenta & Bernard’s Paranormal Investigations!

    Magenta also uses the ancient art of bibliomancy to help solve real problems sent in by you, her Tragic Fans.

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    Copyright: © Copyright 2021 Long Cat Media

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    Latest Episodes:
    S3 E1 - Xmas Presents for Partners Dec 07, 2021
    Show notes

    Magenta and Bernard are back for more daring tales of adventure in the mystic arts.... and to help you, the listeners!

    Our heroes have had a busy few months trying to deal with the evil forces accidentally summoned by Bernard's old Foucault's Pendulum bandmate, Stephen. This episode, we hear the first of a series of journal excerpts from that particular business.

    Then Magenta calls once again upon bibliomancy to answer questions sent in by you, the listeners. This week's topic: Xmas Presents for Partners.

    Ask Magenta a question by emailing madamemagentauk@gmail.com or on Twitter @MadameMagentaUK

    Listen to Long Cat Media's other podcasts, Mockery Manor and The Ballad of Anne & Mary

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Magenta and Bernard - Emergency Broadcast Aug 16, 2021
    Show notes

    Quick - they don't have long! A few words from Magenta and Bernard... Support this podcast

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Book 2, Chapter 33 - The Final Countdown do do dooo dooo, do do do do dooo Feb 25, 2021
    Show notes

    Buy a coffee for Mags and Bernard! http://www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia (www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia) Find out more: http://www.longcatmedia.com/ (www.longcatmedia.com) Greetings, fans of the esoteric! On Thursdays, Magenta reads from her second book, Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer. Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer is a detective novel told from the point of view of its eponymous heroine, a woman of flexible morality, an array of tasteful turbans, and an unfortunate case of genuine mystical powers. As it happens, Magenta's damnable abilities play little part in her day-to-day business as a psychic and medium for the North London area. Genuine esoteric insight would be more than her clients could handle, so generally-speaking she sticks to platitudes and incense to earn a living. Much to her irritation, this doesn't stop ghosts, angels and every loudmouth in the animal kingdom from interfering in her personal business. As if this wasn't troublesome enough, someone's going around bumping off London-based PSYCOWs (Psychics, Occultists, Wytches), and a dog named Bobo has just told her who's doing it. Magenta has little option but to pass the information onto her contact in the police force, Detective Inspector Eldris, before embarking on a little sleuthing of her own. In the process, she must reassure her husband Bernard that she's not having an affair with Eldris, babysit a ghost called Gaynor, and avoid the clutches of an old enemy who has recently been released from a terrorist detention centre. Will she live to tell the tale?! Yes. Yes, of course she will. Wouldn't be much of a comedy if she snuffed it. Support this podcast

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Book 2, Chapter 32 - Um Bumba Way Feb 22, 2021
    Show notes

    Buy a coffee for Mags and Bernard! http://www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia (www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia) Find out more: http://www.longcatmedia.com/ (www.longcatmedia.com) Greetings, fans of the esoteric! On Thursdays, Magenta reads from her second book, Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer. Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer is a detective novel told from the point of view of its eponymous heroine, a woman of flexible morality, an array of tasteful turbans, and an unfortunate case of genuine mystical powers. As it happens, Magenta's damnable abilities play little part in her day-to-day business as a psychic and medium for the North London area. Genuine esoteric insight would be more than her clients could handle, so generally-speaking she sticks to platitudes and incense to earn a living. Much to her irritation, this doesn't stop ghosts, angels and every loudmouth in the animal kingdom from interfering in her personal business. As if this wasn't troublesome enough, someone's going around bumping off London-based PSYCOWs (Psychics, Occultists, Wytches), and a dog named Bobo has just told her who's doing it. Magenta has little option but to pass the information onto her contact in the police force, Detective Inspector Eldris, before embarking on a little sleuthing of her own. In the process, she must reassure her husband Bernard that she's not having an affair with Eldris, babysit a ghost called Gaynor, and avoid the clutches of an old enemy who has recently been released from a terrorist detention centre. Will she live to tell the tale?! Yes. Yes, of course she will. Wouldn't be much of a comedy if she snuffed it. Support this podcast

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Book 2, Chapter 31 - Dun Dun Dunnnnn Feb 18, 2021
    Show notes

    Buy a coffee for Mags and Bernard! http://www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia (www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia) Find out more: http://www.longcatmedia.com/ (www.longcatmedia.com) Greetings, fans of the esoteric! On Thursdays, Magenta reads from her second book, Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer. Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer is a detective novel told from the point of view of its eponymous heroine, a woman of flexible morality, an array of tasteful turbans, and an unfortunate case of genuine mystical powers. As it happens, Magenta's damnable abilities play little part in her day-to-day business as a psychic and medium for the North London area. Genuine esoteric insight would be more than her clients could handle, so generally-speaking she sticks to platitudes and incense to earn a living. Much to her irritation, this doesn't stop ghosts, angels and every loudmouth in the animal kingdom from interfering in her personal business. As if this wasn't troublesome enough, someone's going around bumping off London-based PSYCOWs (Psychics, Occultists, Wytches), and a dog named Bobo has just told her who's doing it. Magenta has little option but to pass the information onto her contact in the police force, Detective Inspector Eldris, before embarking on a little sleuthing of her own. In the process, she must reassure her husband Bernard that she's not having an affair with Eldris, babysit a ghost called Gaynor, and avoid the clutches of an old enemy who has recently been released from a terrorist detention centre. Will she live to tell the tale?! Yes. Yes, of course she will. Wouldn't be much of a comedy if she snuffed it. Support this podcast

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Book 2, Chapter 30 - I'm Loving Angels Instead Feb 15, 2021
    Show notes

    Buy a coffee for Mags and Bernard! http://www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia (www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia) Find out more: http://www.longcatmedia.com/ (www.longcatmedia.com) Greetings, fans of the esoteric! On Thursdays, Magenta reads from her second book, Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer. Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer is a detective novel told from the point of view of its eponymous heroine, a woman of flexible morality, an array of tasteful turbans, and an unfortunate case of genuine mystical powers. As it happens, Magenta's damnable abilities play little part in her day-to-day business as a psychic and medium for the North London area. Genuine esoteric insight would be more than her clients could handle, so generally-speaking she sticks to platitudes and incense to earn a living. Much to her irritation, this doesn't stop ghosts, angels and every loudmouth in the animal kingdom from interfering in her personal business. As if this wasn't troublesome enough, someone's going around bumping off London-based PSYCOWs (Psychics, Occultists, Wytches), and a dog named Bobo has just told her who's doing it. Magenta has little option but to pass the information onto her contact in the police force, Detective Inspector Eldris, before embarking on a little sleuthing of her own. In the process, she must reassure her husband Bernard that she's not having an affair with Eldris, babysit a ghost called Gaynor, and avoid the clutches of an old enemy who has recently been released from a terrorist detention centre. Will she live to tell the tale?! Yes. Yes, of course she will. Wouldn't be much of a comedy if she snuffed it. Support this podcast

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Book 2, Chapter 29 - Crikey O'Riley Feb 11, 2021
    Show notes

    Buy a coffee for Mags and Bernard! http://www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia (www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia) Find out more: http://www.longcatmedia.com/ (www.longcatmedia.com) Greetings, fans of the esoteric! On Thursdays, Magenta reads from her second book, Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer. Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer is a detective novel told from the point of view of its eponymous heroine, a woman of flexible morality, an array of tasteful turbans, and an unfortunate case of genuine mystical powers. As it happens, Magenta's damnable abilities play little part in her day-to-day business as a psychic and medium for the North London area. Genuine esoteric insight would be more than her clients could handle, so generally-speaking she sticks to platitudes and incense to earn a living. Much to her irritation, this doesn't stop ghosts, angels and every loudmouth in the animal kingdom from interfering in her personal business. As if this wasn't troublesome enough, someone's going around bumping off London-based PSYCOWs (Psychics, Occultists, Wytches), and a dog named Bobo has just told her who's doing it. Magenta has little option but to pass the information onto her contact in the police force, Detective Inspector Eldris, before embarking on a little sleuthing of her own. In the process, she must reassure her husband Bernard that she's not having an affair with Eldris, babysit a ghost called Gaynor, and avoid the clutches of an old enemy who has recently been released from a terrorist detention centre. Will she live to tell the tale?! Yes. Yes, of course she will. Wouldn't be much of a comedy if she snuffed it. Support this podcast

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Book 2, Chapter 28 - Well I Never / Blinkin Nora Feb 08, 2021
    Show notes

    Buy a coffee for Mags and Bernard! http://www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia (www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia) Find out more: http://www.longcatmedia.com/ (www.longcatmedia.com) Greetings, fans of the esoteric! On Thursdays, Magenta reads from her second book, Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer. Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer is a detective novel told from the point of view of its eponymous heroine, a woman of flexible morality, an array of tasteful turbans, and an unfortunate case of genuine mystical powers. As it happens, Magenta's damnable abilities play little part in her day-to-day business as a psychic and medium for the North London area. Genuine esoteric insight would be more than her clients could handle, so generally-speaking she sticks to platitudes and incense to earn a living. Much to her irritation, this doesn't stop ghosts, angels and every loudmouth in the animal kingdom from interfering in her personal business. As if this wasn't troublesome enough, someone's going around bumping off London-based PSYCOWs (Psychics, Occultists, Wytches), and a dog named Bobo has just told her who's doing it. Magenta has little option but to pass the information onto her contact in the police force, Detective Inspector Eldris, before embarking on a little sleuthing of her own. In the process, she must reassure her husband Bernard that she's not having an affair with Eldris, babysit a ghost called Gaynor, and avoid the clutches of an old enemy who has recently been released from a terrorist detention centre. Will she live to tell the tale?! Yes. Yes, of course she will. Wouldn't be much of a comedy if she snuffed it. Support this podcast

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Book 2, Chapter 27 - That's Right, Elspeth! / Crikey Feb 04, 2021
    Show notes

    Buy a coffee for Mags and Bernard! http://www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia (www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia) Find out more: http://www.longcatmedia.com/ (www.longcatmedia.com) Greetings, fans of the esoteric! On Thursdays, Magenta reads from her second book, Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer. Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer is a detective novel told from the point of view of its eponymous heroine, a woman of flexible morality, an array of tasteful turbans, and an unfortunate case of genuine mystical powers. As it happens, Magenta's damnable abilities play little part in her day-to-day business as a psychic and medium for the North London area. Genuine esoteric insight would be more than her clients could handle, so generally-speaking she sticks to platitudes and incense to earn a living. Much to her irritation, this doesn't stop ghosts, angels and every loudmouth in the animal kingdom from interfering in her personal business. As if this wasn't troublesome enough, someone's going around bumping off London-based PSYCOWs (Psychics, Occultists, Wytches), and a dog named Bobo has just told her who's doing it. Magenta has little option but to pass the information onto her contact in the police force, Detective Inspector Eldris, before embarking on a little sleuthing of her own. In the process, she must reassure her husband Bernard that she's not having an affair with Eldris, babysit a ghost called Gaynor, and avoid the clutches of an old enemy who has recently been released from a terrorist detention centre. Will she live to tell the tale?! Yes. Yes, of course she will. Wouldn't be much of a comedy if she snuffed it. Support this podcast

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


    Book 2, Chapter 26 - I'll Never Ever Let You Go Feb 01, 2021
    Show notes

    Buy a coffee for Mags and Bernard! http://www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia (www.ko-fi.com/longcatmedia) Find out more: http://www.longcatmedia.com/ (www.longcatmedia.com) Greetings, fans of the esoteric! On Thursdays, Magenta reads from her second book, Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer. Madame Magenta and the Arcati Killer is a detective novel told from the point of view of its eponymous heroine, a woman of flexible morality, an array of tasteful turbans, and an unfortunate case of genuine mystical powers. As it happens, Magenta's damnable abilities play little part in her day-to-day business as a psychic and medium for the North London area. Genuine esoteric insight would be more than her clients could handle, so generally-speaking she sticks to platitudes and incense to earn a living. Much to her irritation, this doesn't stop ghosts, angels and every loudmouth in the animal kingdom from interfering in her personal business. As if this wasn't troublesome enough, someone's going around bumping off London-based PSYCOWs (Psychics, Occultists, Wytches), and a dog named Bobo has just told her who's doing it. Magenta has little option but to pass the information onto her contact in the police force, Detective Inspector Eldris, before embarking on a little sleuthing of her own. In the process, she must reassure her husband Bernard that she's not having an affair with Eldris, babysit a ghost called Gaynor, and avoid the clutches of an old enemy who has recently been released from a terrorist detention centre. Will she live to tell the tale?! Yes. Yes, of course she will. Wouldn't be much of a comedy if she snuffed it. Support this podcast

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


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